"You're…repairing Unit 01!? What the fuck are you saying? If you close that thing up what will happen to Shinji!?"
In front of the damaged Evangelion stood Misato. Heavy cybernetic machinery were lifting giant purple plaques and attaching it to the broken Evangelion. A hole was open around the chest of the weapon, but that was gradually being closed. The sparks generated from the welding almost hit the enraged woman, which was pulled away by her interlocutor.
" Those were the orders given by the higher ups"
Ritsuko Akagi, leading the NERV R&D department spoke those words with glacial slowness. The lights from before reflecting in the lenses, covering her eyes.
"This is Captain Ikari's order? That's his son who's being restrained inside a monster! How much of an asshole can he be!?"
Misato's arm were shaking. She pushed Ritsuko against the wall, fist closed around the neck of her shirt.
"Misato, contain your feelings. We need the Evangelion to fight, and it's not a matter of you or I, but something much bigger. Unit-01 is necessary, we cannot lose it."
"Are they really thinking on activating that thing again? After what happened with the last Angel?"
"That Angel could fuse itself with the Evangelions. It's like the one that interfered in the Unit-04 testings. We cannot assume it was a 01 issue. And now the Unit has been restored to normal. It won't be the first choice, but if needed it will be re-activated"
"We don't even have pilots anymore. Why can't someone care about Shinji a little more. He was even quitting the fight"
Misato placed her hands against the wall but could feel them slowly falling down as her knees too failed her. She found herself kneeling, eyes teared up and fixated on the floor.
I'm the NERV commander, and yet I cannot even save one scared kid.
"We have pilots, Three in fact. Rei was saved, she will be in perfect shape soon. Then we have the two new Children: Nagisa and Mari."
I know we can't leave it at that, but…
Evangelion, it's necessary. Another Angel could attack anytime. NERV had all the Children needed to continue the project.
"Why were the two I took in the first to go…"
Her words consumed all her breath while still being almost silent. Ritsuko got the gist of what she was saying, but only because she too kneeled to hug her old friend.
"Misato, we will find Shinji. Now, go home. You need some rest"
It was since the last Angel attack that Misato was stuck at work. She didn't sleep even for a minute and was exhausted. She stood up shackingly
"I don't want to. I'll find something to do and…"
"Go. Home."
"I'm the commander, I'm needed right here!"
"You're right, you are the commander, and for that reason you can't keep being an husk of yourself. There are still people who need you"
Ritsuko nodded in the direction of two children. One was the mysterious silver guy that stopped the Impact. The other was emotionless Rei. Only this time, Misato saw something in her face.
She's…shocked. I've never seen her like this.
"Ok, I'll go"
She started walking towards the stairs to where Rei was, but was stopped.
"Home, not work"
"You said it, people still need me"
"Yes, but we need the best you, and that is not the girl I'm facing now. You need a break, leave Rei to herself for a bit. Approach her when you will be able to be of comfort"
—
Misato walked through the corridor that lead to her apartment's room. It was dark outside, the sound of the crickets was the only thing accompanying her steps.
First she says that people need me and then she insults me. Ritsuko can be such a bitch.
She fiddled with her pockets, searching for keys and accidently dropped them. Kneeling to take them back, she stopped for a moment and felt chills passing through her. That door ahead was treatening. It seemed gigantic. Just staying near it she could feel the temperature freezing.
What's…this?
Is there something bad inside?
Keys retrieved, she reached for the keyhole but couldn't stop shaking all the way through.
Who could it be?
Maybe someone from SEELEE? NERV surely has no shortage of enemies.
No, no, this is stupid.
No one's threatening me.
And besides, how could a human making air this cold….wait.
Maybe it's NOT human.
What if it's an angel? Our radars didn't react to anything, but with those bastards you never know.
Should I go inside?
Maybe is better if i ran away.
Go back to NERV
No, it would follow me back.
But why is that thing here for me?
"Could it be the ghost of those kids?"
She didnt' even realize those words came out from her lips. She just stood there, watching the door of her apartment, paralyzed. An insect flew past her and scared her out of the stasys.
"AAAAAAAAAA"
She don't falling on her back was nothing short of a miracle. After risking ther neck like that, she at least recovered mentally.
"Come on Misato, probably it's just Pen Pen fault…somehow"
She opened that door.
It was empty. The air was heavy. The children screaming around the house were gone. No arguing, no synchronization exercise, no awkward unintentional flirting. The lack of voice was deafening.
The test for Unit-04 was not meant to involve Asuka.
And Shinji…Shinji was meant to leave NERV
Is it my fault? Were my words the reason he came back to fight?
Misato opened a can of beer and put herself to bed.
Did I kill them?
With alcohol to ease her pains, the girl tried to rest. But then she noticed her phone, there was a message hanging, and went to listen.
"Hi Misato, I need to ask you a favor"
It was Kaji's voice. Hearing it a warm feeling awakened in Misato's chest.
"When you hear this, I will probably be gone. I need you to ask a favor. I have a little field full of cucumbers, I need you to grow them. Shinji knows where it is. And…I'm sorry, I could never say what I wanted to say."
The message ended like that.
An empty ending.
And like that, Misato last hope vanished.
Kaji left her, like she left him years before, only that this time, it was forever.
The girl tried to drink as much as she could, but alcohol was not helping. Her pain didn't go away. And like that, she stayed there, staring at the familiar ceiling of her own home, crying. Thinking about all the missing pieces, that left her life in a span of 3 days.