Chapter 26:
Lightning sighed softly as she tossed the book she had been reading onto the bed as she just had to think about one important thing. Namely why she was lied to. She had done nothing but wrack her brain for the last twenty four hours to try and figure out the reason both Rosa and Vanille had lied to her about how hurt Vanille had been.
She knew it wouldn't have been a bad break given how by all respects she still had complete mobility of her hand and it didn't even swell up as badly as a break would in her experience. At least all the experience Lightning had with how damaged her hands had gotten.
I was just making her spiral further and further into confusion as she could hear the slot for her breakfast opening with Vanille's head just quickly dangling into view with a smile on her face. "You doing better? I'm worried about you Light... and this isn't helping my whole feeling like a bad girlfriend." Vanille spoke softly as Lightning just smiled at her faintly as she stood up and walked over towards the door to sit down and slid her hand through the opening.
"I'm doing a lot better Van." Lightning said in a soft tone as she felt her hand being captured softly. "And you aren't a bad girlfriend. I'm a bad girlfriend. I hurt you... to the point that you aren't telling me everything... and frankly... if what Rosa and Yuna have told me... I don't want to relive those times Van."
Sighing softly Vanille raised the hand up to her lips to gently kiss the knuckles and the lone scar that ran along the centre of Lightning's hand. "You just want to forget...?" Vanille asked rhetorically as she looked over towards the stairs and felt her frown deepen.
"I do. I want to forget all of that time Vanille... and if you experienced what I did... you would agree with me." Lightning said in a soft tone as she tried to look out the area to see why Vanille had developed a sulky feeling in the way she held Lightning's hand. She didn't know how to really express these things to Vanille but she also knew that Vanille had similar issues. Especially when she was saddened by something. "What is up Vanille? Is you being sad seriously because you nailed what I wanted on the head?" Lightning asked softly knowing that she couldn't see everything but she also did know her girlfriend.
"No... and it wasn't my thought entirely. Like it was my thoughts but I was having issues putting them into the correct places... Rosa did that." Vanille said softly as she just took a deep breath as she placed one final kiss onto Lightning's hand. "And Rosa and Yuna are coming... I just know it. I can see the elevator coming down and they did warn me that I was just going to have a few minutes ahead of them..."
"That's strange... did they say why you were getting that time? Normally they are here before you just to get a judgement on how I'm doing and if I can be trusted outside of solitary." Lighting said with a sigh as she could feel Vanille gently weaving their hands back through the door just for Lightning to deliver a single kiss before they separated from their small embrace.
Both not wanting to be apart from each other but neither really wanting to push either of their doctors on the off chance that they might just bring down the proverbial hammer on them. Even if it was something that both would rather they would just accept.
Letting go of Vanille's hand, Lightning just smiled faintly at her as she stood up and walked away from the door. Glancing down, Lightning just started to dust herself off knowing that this was going to be the closest she would get to a wash really, and knew that if she was going to let Vanille see her in any way she had to look presentable. She didn't want her girlfriend to get the idea that she was going to be slovenly.
'You look fine Light. And even if you didn't... that girl is crazy in love with you. To the point that she is willing to date you and is fine with your uber crazy and over protective sister.'
Hearing the key in the door followed by the loud 'thunk' of the bolts being retracted causing her to just want to cry a little at how she wasn't going to be able to kiss Vanille like she really wanted to, but she supposed that in of itself was a blessing from fact that she hadn't even been able to brush her teeth for two days.
"I'm just mad that I can't even have five minutes alone with my girlfriend... is that so wrong?" Vanille complained as she folded her arms in defiance as Lightning just had to smile at that gesture.
"Vanille. We gave you as long as we can. You've got your own schedule to do and not to mention we have to talk to Lightning in private." Rosa said as Lightning just wrapped her arms around herself as she quickly walked out of the room and just gently hugged Vanille.
She couldn't help but smile as she felt Vanille practically melt into the embrace as her own arms wormed their way apart from themselves before wrapping around Lightning and meeting once again. Lightning could only let out a hum of approval as she felt Vanille rub her head further into her chest. Both just enjoying the small embrace as Lightning started to sway gently on the spot.
"We'll meet up again Van... you know where I'll be at lunch because you know how my body gets..."
"I do... I just wish we had more time together. Life is starting to suck here again which is making me want to do something stupid to get my trustee status removed so we can spend lots of time together again."
"Don't do anything stupid Van... we'll get time together. You've just got to relax and get through all this. And eventually let me know how your hand is doing." Lightning whispered as she could just feel Vanille squeeze her a little tighter.
"It is fine Light... just itchy." Vanille said as she reluctantly started to pull back from the hug and stared into Lightning's calming blue eyes and smiled faintly. "And I should be the one saying don't do anything stupid Light... when you are getting both doctors I'm willing to bet it is something big going on that tends to not help you in the short run causing you to spiral... and I mean I promised not to tell you but I do know your mother has plans for you to happen on Saturday and I won't say anything extra."
'So that means Serah is coming down... why is that a secret? Why is everyone keeping secrets from us?'
"Shut up." Lightning muttered as she stood just behind the psychiatrists who had thankfully remained quiet. As if they were just letting the two share the moment before they would destroy the ones to come. If Lightning was being honest it felt like she was being led to her own execution. The only benefit was that Lightning knew that if they were going to kill her they would have done it a long time ago when they started getting into the double digit hours of the videos they have been watching.
She just knew that there was going to be something on the other end of this and she knew it was something the voice agreed with if just from her lack of jeers. She knew from recent months that had always meant that it was just as worried about Light's self preservation and knew that Lightning wanted to just focus on everything around her so she would know how to defend herself.
As she walked into the elevator, Lightning just had to take a panicked breath as she just smiled faintly at the sight of the doctors leaving a gap between them for Lightning to slip through like she was threading the needle of her sanity to her protection.
"Light... you need to take some deep breaths." Yuna said with a small smile as she looked over her shoulder. "We are just looking to talk. You know if you are uncomfortable you can just say so and we'll stop." Yuna said as Lightning started to rub her arms gently as if she was trying to warm herself up.
'Light. Take a chill pill. Nothing they've seen is that bad in comparison to the experiences we've had. And I doubt they got to that black afternoon.'
"You aren't going to make me watch it are you?" Lightning asked as she could see that getting the attention of both doctors as they turned around to look at her with deep concern. "If that is what you intended just put me back in the room." Lightning spoke again, taking a deep breath. "Because I know Rosa told Vanille to lie to me about how badly I hurt her... so that means it must be bad... and I can't think of a reason that isn't you both trying to protect me by hurting me..."
Sighing as she turned around fully, Rosa just stared into the deeply concerned blue eyes and she was about to speak when Lightning beat her to it again. "I lived through it... I know almost all of the content... I don't want to re-experience it." Lightning knew that she was probably doing them an injustice but she had to make her stance clear. They had told her every time that if she set a hard boundary they wouldn't cross it until she said it was okay. If what she feared was true, then this would be the first time they would have crossed it on their own volition.
'Maybe the brunette would potentially do that... just so you can be there to help her emotionally... but I don't think the blonde would. She is a lot more about helping you and there is nothing that would do that would help you.'
"Lightning. We'd never show you the tapes short of you asking. And even then I'd personally stress that you do not." Rosa said as she turned towards Yuna who nodded her head at that unasked question. "Neither would Yuna. That is a type of torture that I wouldn't even entertain the thought of doing to you unless I knew you were one hundred percent certain that you would be okay." Rosa said in such a soft tone that she knew if Lightning was thinking normally she might get more defensive if just from how Rosa was clearly trying to defuse the live grenade that was the situation.
"You promise?" Lightning asked softly as Yuna took her time to turn around and stare into Lightning's eyes herself. She knew how this would go if she didn't at least try to stress the point to Lightning.
"We really wouldn't Lightning. Hell once we get the okay, I'm going to be beyond happy to destroy them. I know Rosa is looking forward to that too. We even are trying to decide who gets the first crack at destroying one of the disks." Yuna said as Lightning just started to take a final calming deep breath. "So we both promise we'd never show you anything of that unless you personally okay it and we are entirely sure you would be okay after it."
"I don't ever want to see it..." Lightning said calmly as she could see the doors parting. She just had to figure out why they were taking her out of the solitary room if it was just a talk. If it was a minor thing they would have waited until a one on one in the room. If it was slightly more important they would have both just walked into the room and talked then and there.
"Then we won't ever show you it." Yuna said with a smile as the doors started to part as she spun around and followed the head psychiatrist out of the metal box knowing that Lightning wasn't going to be very far behind them.
It was the only benefit of dealing with Lightning personally for so long. She knew that when Lightning knew it was a serious topic that was going to be talked about she would never be far behind even if she was petrified of the results. It was a simple thing that made her just want to relax a little if she didn't already know that if her hunch was right it would be like they just stabbed Lightning and were going to watch as she slowly bled to death.
Taking a deep breath to try and calm the bile down as she just had that image of Lightning being stabbed and raped flash into her mind. She had no idea how she triggered that to happen and she just knew that if she found out how it happened she was going to kill that part of her brain no matter where it was or how important it was for her day to day life.
As Rosa opened the door, Yuna just quickly walked in and they both just wanted to laugh a little at the sight of Lightning quickly jumping into the room between them and nearly sprinting towards one of the seats as Rosa just took a deep breath and closed the door as she slid a hand into her pocket.
It was a gesture that Yuna mirrored knowing that Rosa was just going to be holding her panic button in her hand as they were going to be talking about this. Just on the off chance that Lightning was going to react aggressively despite the fact that it wasn't something that she normally did whenever she was confronted with the reason she was there from her time during the Purge.
"Before we talk about whatever it is..." Lightning said as she pulled her knees up to her chest as she could see both doctors taking opposite seats from her. She could see their expressions just changing to shock as they pulled their hands out of their pockets. "Truthfully why did you tell Vanille to lie to me about how badly she is hurt? She hasn't said how bad she was but I just know both you and Vanille are lying."
'Oh good. Pick at that scab. That is going to be good. While you are at it why not talk about being violently gangraped while being waterboarded by your own blood from Cid. That was a fun if harrowing experience.'
Shaking her head a little more violently than she could imagine as she could see Rosa tensing a little as she could Lightning just getting ready into her normal posture for when she talked to either of them. Both just seemed to know that there was something going on in Lightning's head. And Rosa was busy just trying to figure out how to traverse that minefield.
"It is a minor injury that is only slightly worse than what I guessed. However when it comes to you Lightning can you blame me for just being overly cautious? Especially when it comes to Vanille and when you accidentally hurt her. I mean when you dropped her on her rump after standing up too fast from... if I remember the incident report reading too hard... you required eleven stitches in your arms that we had to forcibly stop you from doing yourself." Rosa said as Lightning opened before closing her mouth.
'Oh she has you by the lady balls there. I forgot that was how that continued. Wait... didn't we also get like several shots and then we got our spoon privileges removed for a solid three months?'
"Shut up." Lightning hissed as she just took a deep breath and began to let herself fall over onto her side as she stared at the doctors. "And I don't really blame you... I just don't like being lied to about how hurt my girlfriend is." Lightning continued as she just took a deep breath and looked at Yuna who had relaxed a little. She knew that she was probably going to ruin the mood Yuna had found herself in but she knew that if she didn't rip that bandage off then it wasn't going to happen for a few hours while they tried to build up the nerve to approach whatever topic that it was that would require both of them.
'So should I just bully you into asking? Because I know you both are afraid of it just like they are.'
Taking a deep breath, Lightning looked between them. "What is it that you both wanted to talk about? Because I'm still not going to break my hug rule." Lightning continued as she could see Rosa and Yuna sharing a glance as Yuna seemed to lose some debate as she looked back towards the pink haired teen.
"We got to a point in the video that we would like to talk to you about... frankly I think it might have been the part you can't remember." Yuna said as Lightning just rolled her eyes gently as she knew that had been something that had been said a few times in the past. "It is about a time when you were in a makeshift arena. When you fought a on-"
'HATE TO CUT IN HERE LIGHT! BUT I'M GOING TO START BUILDING A WORKING WOOD SHOP! YOU JUST LET ME KNOW IF THE SOUNDS ARE TOO LOUD!'
Feeling her face contort, Lightning shook her head as she could hear the sounds of power tools dying as Yuna stopped talking. She wasn't sure why but something was confusing Lightning because she couldn't remember any makeshift arenas.
"Sorry... It just got really loud and annoying... can you repeat yourself Yuna?" Lightning asked as she could see the doctors sharing a glance.
"I was just saying there is a -"
'NO! YOU IDIOTS! WE CAN'T PUT THE DRAG RACE NEXT TO THE EXOTIC BIRD SANCTUARY! MY GIRL LIGHT WILL NEVER GET ANY SLEEP! GIVE IT A FEW MORE REVS AND GET IT MOVING OUT!'
"I'm sorry Yuna..."
"It's okay." Yuna said as she could see Lightning's pained expression start to soften once more. There was one thing that Yuna knew might get through if just from how she never knew what did and didn't when it came to Lightning. "Does the name Cu Chaspel rin-"
'FUCKING SHIT! Light ignore her!'
The way the voice screamed and Lightning felt her head just start to hurt a little as she felt a distinct pain in her side along with her hand and leg... it was as if some long since forgotten memory was trying to claw its way free. But all it was doing was hurting Lightning physically,
She lowered her aching hand to just grab onto the sore muscle of her leg as she used her good hand to reach over and cup her side in a soothing manner.
'LIGHT! IGNORE IT!'
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORE IT!" Lightning yelled as she clawed more at her leg as her eyes shut tightly as if in great pain.
"Rosa... don't approach her and just hold onto the panic button... because you do not want to take a hit from her."