Chapter 2;
Truth and my lies right now are falling like the rain What's one more lie, to tell our unborn child?

Notes:

I'm sorry... I guess.

I feel like this has never gotten the focus in the show it would've deserved. So this is my version of what I might have liked to see...

Oliver

Oliver was sitting on the bed in his room, staring at the wall. He couldn't believe… he still couldn't believe what just happened… anything that had happened in the last couple of days, actually. But especially in the last hour… maybe… he wasn't sure how much time had passed since he left his mom and went to his room to be alone.

God, this hurt.

Why did this hurt so much?

He should be happy. Like he told his mom, he continued to be the luckiest guy on the planet… if only he had ever really believed that himself.

He needed… what did he need?

He needed to get his shit together.

Maybe call Tommy and get shit-faced. Yeah, he should do that. Except he couldn't move. He couldn't get his body to cooperate. He couldn't get himself to get up and do anything except stare at the wall.

This wasn't supposed to hurt. Not like this.

He just told his mom he didn't know what he would've done if Samantha would've had the baby. And that he wasn't ready to be a dad, and he wasn't but then why… why did it hurt so much if his mom was right and this was for the better?

He should be glad.

He couldn't even imagine what or how he would've told Laurel. She would've killed him. She would've been so hurt. Part of him wanted to call his girlfriend, seek comfort in her arms, forget everything for a little while. But Laurel was at college and it didn't seem fair, didn't seem right to seek comfort in the woman who would be so hurt if she knew about his actions and the consequences those had brought.

He should just call Tommy… get some drinks, or drugs and party, maybe find some hottie to get lost in…

He didn't want to be alone.

But he didn't want to be in a crowd either.

He couldn't tell Tommy… he wouldn't understand… or would he? But what if he would tell Laurel?

Should he go back and look for his mom, have her comfort him? But she didn't seem to… she told him it was for the better… so she probably wouldn't understand why he was feeling this way.

He didn't even understand why he was feeling this way.

He didn't want a child. He wasn't ready to be a father. Even less a father to a child he had with a woman he barely knew while he was in a relationship with another woman.

Then why was he feeling this way?

Why did it hurt so much?

"I swear OJ, I've been waiting for your ass for like an hour! Your explanation why you stood me up better be…" His thoughts were interrupted by the annoyed voice of no other but Sara Lance, but she abruptly stopped berating him when she got far enough into his room to see him slumped over in the chair.

"Ollie, what happened? Are you okay?" The change in Sara's moods always had the possibility to give you whiplash, and she just went from annoyed to the point of getting pissed to very concerned and compassionate in less than five seconds flat. She was in front of him in the blink of an eye, one of her hands on his knee, the other on his cheek.

"What is it? Is there something I can do?" Her expressive, big blue eyes were seeking his out, looking at him with such worry and compassion.

"Sara…" He couldn't say anything beside her name. And before he knew what happened, he had wrapped her into his arms, holding on to one of his closest friends for dear life, seeking comfort in her arms. The small eighteen-year-old returned his hug without a moment's hesitation. Holding him close to her, providing him the comfort he had been seeking ever since Samantha's phone call. He wasn't sure how long they've stayed like this before he broke their embrace and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry… I didn't… thank you, Pretty Bird. Look, I can't… I don't want to talk about it." He couldn't tell her. Even though part of him wanted to. Part of him wondered what she would say if she knew the reason for his emotional state. His Pretty Bird had a heart of gold and so much compassion for just about everyone. Maybe she would understand. Maybe she would know why he was feeling the way he did. Maybe she could tell him what he needed to hear. Something that would make him feel better.

But he couldn't burden her with this.

Couldn't ask her to keep something of this magnitude from her older sister. Couldn't ask her to keep yet another one of his secrets, and this one was so much bigger than the rest. So, he chose not to tell her. What else could he do?

"Okay. I'm always here to listen if you change your mind." Sara gave him a small smile and rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"I know and appreciate that. Hey, is it okay if we change our plans and just hang out here? Maybe watch a movie or something?" He knew he had promised her to take her to the street fair today, but he didn't feel up to it. Didn't feel like seeing cheerful people… happy families with their kids… he could feel that feeling in his chest again, as if someone was squeezing his heart with a fist. He swallowed hard.

"Sure, what d'you wanna watch?" the small bundle of energy moved passed him and hopped onto his bed, scooting back until she hit the headboard.

"I don't know… something funny? Maybe one of the American Pie's?" he followed her suite and got on the bed with her, to discuss which movie to watch.

This was how he spent the rest of the day, hanging out with his girlfriend's baby sister, one of his closest friends, watching comedies and letting himself get distracted by her sunny demeanor, and that gigantic smile and addictive laugh of hers. Just enjoying her company and how simple and uncomplicated hanging out with Sara was. He also basked in the little touches and the other physical contact she provided and the way she'd glance at him with a concerned look from time to time just to double her efforts to make him not only smile but laugh. Putting all of her energy into cheering him up. Without knowing the reason why he needed cheering up.

She was one of the most amazing people he knew.

He was so grateful she showed up when she did and that she didn't press the issue. This was one of the things he appreciated most about the youngest Lance.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and drew her close, until she was nestled into his side, he then kissed her temple in a show of appreciation and focused back on the movie. Enjoying her company and the comfort her body next to his provided.

Forgetting his troubles for the time being, agreeing that his mom was right.

It was better this way.

And he was sure in time he would even start to believe it himself.

Notes:

The scene where Oliver learns that Samantha "lost" the baby was so emotional and showed in how much pain he was because of it. And Moira sort of tried to comfort him but given Oliver's reaction went about it completely wrong, not really understanding why he might not be relieved, or not only be relieved by the "fixed" problem.

I also feel like it wasn't shown enough in Arrow Season 4 that part of why Oliver was agreeing to Samantha's conditions was because, she had shown him in the past that she was willing to keep him from their child with whatever means necessary. She had gone so far to make him believe the baby had died, because she didn't think he was fit to be in their son's life. Oliver had every reason to believe that she would do something like this again if she felt he didn't hold up his end of the agreement.

Oliver hadn't just found out that he had a child he didn't know about, which would've been a huge shock in itself.

He learnt that the child he had been told was never even born, a child he had obviously mourned for in some shape or form given that scene in 2.20, was actually alive. Had been alive the whole time. He had thought he had lost his baby, wanted or not, it had a huge emotional impact on him. And then to find out 10 years later that it had all been a lie, the pain he had gone through had essentially been for nothing because it had been based on a lie... there was so much more potential for this storyline but that's just like pretty much any storyline in Arrow goes...

Let me know what you think.

Chapter title is from the song 'River' by Eminem.