Chapter XV: I will not cry.
"I won't cry, I won't cry..." Temari repeated to herself. She stood as straight as she could, chin up and hands crossed over her stomach as she moved through the tournament spectators. Oh, she didn't have to elbow her way through; they moved aside as if she had some highly contagious disease. Her ladies-in-waiting had their heads down and didn't dare look up. Temari understood them, and the urge to bow her head sometimes twisted her gut violently, but she didn't give in. She was a princess of Suna. She would never look down.
Amongst her ladies-in-waiting, only Matsuri still held her head high, probably because she was the only person who was truly loyal to Temari, unlike her other companions. Matsuri was an orphan with no family name, the daughter of a merchant who had long since fallen into decadence and had committed every possible fraud to get out of poverty. Moreover, he had not hesitated to try to sell his own daughter, then aged ten. The story had caused quite the scandal in the capital, and rather than a mere judge, the Daimyō himself had intervened in the matter, and the merchant had promptly been sentenced to death for all his crimes.
Temari had immediately taken pity on the sobbing little girl in the courtroom. She probably hadn't understood understand what was happening and was without a doubt terrified by all the eyes on her like bows and crossbows. The princess had decided that it was her duty to save this child from the terrible fate that awaited her. Without the protection of a powerful person, she would have been thrown into an orphanage where she would have been mocked for her past. Temari knew personally how vicious children could be to each other.
She had made her a lady-in-waiting in order to protect her and avoid mockery. At the time, the princess was praised for her kindness. Today, people probably thought that Matsuri was her mistress. It didn't matter. She would ignore the mocking looks, as she had always done.
Nevertheless, it was no easy feat. The princess could feel the eyes of the nobles on her, like those of a vulture on a dying animal. Those damned snakes! Many of those who looked at her like that today were those who had supported her for years, thinking of her as the future Daimyō of the kingdom. Were they now crawling to her brother for a few favours? They were pathetic. May the One of the Air hurl tornadoes at their lands and ravage their homes. It was all they deserved for betraying her like that.
As for Kankurō... She wished him worse. That his reign would be short and tumultuous, that his wife would cheat on him, and his children would die. He had betrayed her trust, broken his word. She was not just anyone, she was his sister. And yet he had committed such a sin. Could there be a worse betrayal? Temari took a deep breath as she thought about the looks on her parents' faces when they told her that they knew her secret, that the Council knew her secret. Years of work, spent convincing her followers that she would be a good Daimyō despite her gender, had all been swept away by Kankurō's simple words.
She had had to promise them everything, prepare economic plans to prove her abilities. Had Kankurō had to do the same things to prove that he was a suitable candidate? She had no doubt that he hadn't. He was a man, and naturally trusted more. He would never again have her love, let alone her support – no matter how powerful she might be in the future.
When she reached the stage reserved for the royal family, Temari noticed that Gaara had already arrived, surprisingly enough. The youngest of the siblings wasn't very fond of tournaments and other idle activities. Perhaps it was a painful reminder of his skin that couldn't withstand the sun. She greeted him with a stiff shake of her head and took her place. He glanced at her and then turned his attention back to a shadow dancing in the palm of his hand. If this had taken place a few years earlier, Temari would have been frightened of her brother's magic, but she knew now that she had nothing to fear.
She wasn't important enough to Gaara to bother killing her. No one was, but she felt particularly targeted on this humiliating day. Could she really be blamed?
Moreover, in the face of the humiliation she now felt, death seemed almost more comfortable. She had lost her honour, prestige, and power, so what was left but a life of shame? Temari took another deep breath. She couldn't afford to think about these things in public. She couldn't risk crying. She had to remain dignified, even if many would find it futile. She was a princess, not an unimportant noble. The whole kingdom had its eyes on her, even as they celebrated Kankurō's upcoming coronation.
They wanted to know how the monstrous curiosity that was the princess would react to the tournament in honour of her brother and future Daimyō. There was absolutely no way she would give them what they wanted.
Temari closed her eyes for a moment before sweeping them over the crowd; none of the guests dared to meet her gaze. Her former allies turned their faces away; some even had flushed cheeks. She didn't care if the shame of having betrayed her consumed them. Her back was painful, her muscles aching from the pressure she felt and the shame eating away at her bones. She clenched her hands on her thighs, her nails digging into her skin through the rich fabric of her dress. She wanted nothing more than to burst into tears in her chambers. But she would not give in.
Suddenly, there was a movement beside her. Temari looked up and widened her eyes slightly. Gaara was sitting right next to her. He swept his gaze over the guests, and they all looked away, fear evident on their faces. Why was he there? What was his purpose? Was he coming to humiliate her?
"Now they look at me. Not you," he said calmly, as if he had read her mind.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Those of the court. They have always avoided me, and everyone knows it. Strangers won't wonder why everyone is running away from you, if you are with me."
Temari felt her eyes widen. Gaara was telling the truth; no guest, whether from Suna or elsewhere, wanted to be seen with the prince. If he sat next to her, the outsiders attending the tournament would not ask any questions. On the contrary, if she were left alone, questions would be asked. And the five kingdoms would soon all know about her secret. In a way, her brother was protecting her reputation and image.
"Why?" she asked.
"Kankurō broke his word. I am no liar, and I wanted you to know that. Besides..."
He winced, as if the words he wanted to say were painful.
"Hinata would be cross with me if I didn't show you support. Her clan is much more bonded than ours."
"Hinata? You mean the new Duchess of Yggalë?" Temari repeated, her heart pounding in her chest.
Yggalë was one of only two regions sharing a border with the Wind Kingdom, and the only feasible route for trade. The mountains of the Earth Kingdom were difficult to access and full of bandits who attacked caravans. Therefore, the Duke or Duchess of Yggalë was one of the most precious allies the Daimyō of the Wind Kingdom could dream of. This was the reason why the region had remained independent for so long. Yggalë's neutrality guaranteed a better flow of goods across the continent, and the duchy had never wished to join any kingdom.
However, three centuries earlier, the Wind and Fire Kingdoms had fought for control of the region, and it was the Fire Kingdoms – with their overwhelming military strength – that won the war. Nevertheless, Yggalë was still vital to the economy of the Wind Kingdom. A severe famine had claimed tens of thousands of people in the aftermath of the war, with the Fire Kingdom forcing Yggalë to close its borders for a decade to humiliate the Wind Kingdom.
Temari had seen Duke Hiashi die, almost a year ago. She hadn't thought about the implications that death had until now, too preoccupied with her own problems. Nevertheless, she should have. Hinata Hyūga, the girl her younger brother had fallen in love with was the new Duchess of Yggalë and in charge of the most important border in the Kingdom. If Gaara's interest in her was shared – something Temari had no doubt about – then her brother was probably one of the most powerful men in the Kingdom without having to fight. Temari squeezed her fists, envious.
"Yes. They should arrive in Suna after the joust."
"She's coming?" Temari exclaimed, cut off from her reverie.
Gaara turned his eyes towards her. He remained silent for a moment, as if studying her.
"She is one of the guests and wrote to me that she was coming. I'm sure she'd love to meet you. Maybe even support you. As long as you support her in return, I suppose."
Temari felt her heart miss a beat. If she had the support of the Duchess of Yggalë, everything would be different. The Council would be forced to reconsider Kankurō's appointment as heir. A good understanding with Yggalë was essential for the economy to function properly.
If she could convince Hinata Hyūga that she could be a worthy Daimyō and gain her support, she might be able to return to being the crown princess she had been. Perhaps the throne of Suna wasn't lost to her for good. Temari took a deep breath; she wouldn't mope anymore. She would fight, and defeat her brother!
Temari called out to Matsuri. The young girl approached, but not without giving Gaara a worried look.
"Prepare the room for Duchess Hinata. Be sure to put in a decorative white oak branch. Then have a snack ready for when she arrives. I want to have tea with her. Finally, make sure my harp is in tune."
Matsuri blinked, then smiled happily.
"As you wish, Princess."
Matsuri disappeared into the crowd, discreet and agile, and Temari glanced at her brother. His eyes shone with a strange amusement. Did he think she was pathetic? He must. Gaara didn't care about power, and probably didn't understand the race to the throne. If the mood took him, he could easily destroy the city, and not even Baki and Pakura would be able stop him. They may have been blessed by the gods, but Gaara had one locked up in his body. And not just anyone; the most dangerous of them all. The destroyer, the one charged with punishing criminals with weapons darkened by their sins.
"You did well to prepare a harp. Hinata often plays it, I think it's her favourite instrument," he commented absentmindedly.
"It's the only instrument I have any interest in."
Various teachers had tried to teach Temari how to play other instruments, but it had been in vain. She had no interest or talent for it. She loved to dance and listen to singers perform, but unfortunately that was the extent of her talent for music. Instead, she excelled in literature.
From an early age, she had locked herself away in the palace's huge library and devoured hundreds of books. Today, she could probably recite dozens of them by heart. She had also studied many scientific books and was often praised for her extensive knowledge. It was thanks to her passion for books that she had the courage to really push her claim to the throne. Usually, the princesses only participated in the Selection as a formality and only the brothers actually competed.
With Gaara being left out of the Selection because of the god in him, Kankurō had appeared to be the heir apparent for years. Temari, however, had refused to be ignored because of her gender, and had begun to gather support from then on. She and Kankurō had managed to remain close despite the competition and had promised each other to stay close once the Selection would be over. Nevertheless, she would never forgive him for this betrayal. She would never have revealed such a secret if she had been in his place.
"I have to stop thinking about him, he doesn't deserve it," she thought viciously.
As if the Nine had heard her thoughts, the trumpet announcing the start of the tournament sounded. Temari stopped herself just in time to startle. She glanced around and saw that her parents and Kankurō had arrived. The princess squinted her eyes; too lost in thought, she hadn't noticed their arrival and hadn't paid attention to whatever speech her father had said. It was better that way; she certainly could not have remained silent if she had listened to him. She would probably have left; she couldn't afford to look any more ashamed.
The jousting wasn't memorable, and Temari quickly found herself bored by the supposedly entertaining spectacle. The horsemen followed one another without being particularly remarkable. It was rather shameful for a kingdom that drew its military strength from its cavalry. Only one mercenary by the name of Ryn stood out, and being a man of great beauty, he had been favoured by more than one damsel. The princess sighed, hoping that a rider worthy of the mercenary would appear, but it seemed it was not to be. Nothing interesting seemed to happen until the last duel was announced.
"Ser Dal Rinzen versus ser Kō Hyūga of the Fire Kingdom!" cried the announcer.
Temari almost jumped to her feet. Had the Hyūga clan delegation arrived early? She glanced at Gaara, hoping to get an answer from him, but her brother's white eyebrows were slightly furrowed. The Hyūga had indeed arrived early. The princess swept her gaze over the audience, looking for the young duchess Hinata. She easily found her; the Hyūga was the only one not wearing a headdress to protect her head from the sun, opting instead for a parasol. Her long black hair was braided in the typical style of her country, and she wore a green and gold dress.
"Hinata..." she heard whispered.
Temari looked back at her younger brother and felt her heart make a strange jump in her chest. He looked absolutely amazed, as if the Mother of All herself had manifested before him. His eyes shone, and he seemed ready to leap from his seat and kneel before the duchess. He adored the Yggalën, worshipped her as if she were one of the Nine. It would be touching if it weren't so sad. Gaara had always been feared by everyone, and the fact that the duchess didn't fear him must have made her divine in his eyes. She could probably get him to turn against Suna, and Temari swallowed at the thought.
She wanted to address her brother when she noticed one of the two riders approaching her. Temari's eyes widened as ser Kō stopped in front of her and bowed.
"Your Highness, would you do me the honour of granting me your favour for this joust?"
Temari felt her heart miss a beat and immediately looked up at the duchess. She was smiling mischievously, her fingers laced across her crossed legs and her back straight. She knew exactly what she was doing. Temari felt tears prickle her eyes; she was not granting her favour to ser Kō. She was publicly receiving the support of the Hyūga clan. Around her, a silence as heavy as lead had fallen over the audience. Temari swallowed and then took a deep breath. She took her blue silk scarf, stood up and tied it around the knight's wrist.
"It will be an honour to win this duel for you, Your Highness."
Temari had never been so absorbed in a joust in her life; the match was no longer a mere joust. Facing Sire Kō, Sire Dal had been favoured by Sari Salèn, the daughter of Duke Salèn who supported Kankurō. Feeling eyes weighing on her, Temari turned her head and met her brother's gaze. Kankurō looked furious, and an urge to laugh euphorically filled the princess. Nevertheless, she restrained herself and merely smiled. For a moment he looked ready to pounce on her, but he turned away.
Temari did the same, now concentrating on the joust. Ser Kō and ser Dal both seemed to be aware of the implication of their joust, as they glared at each other for a few ten seconds before breaking into a gallop. Temari held her breath. The spears struck the shields, and ser Kō's shield shattered on impact. The princess bit her lower lip. Would the knight's arm be broken? The Hyūga had a lighter body and therefore were more fragile. Jousting did not really allow them to make use of their supernatural speed, and therefore they shone very little in this discipline.
Temari found herself to be wrong in the second exchange, however. Ser Kō moved at such a speed that he looked like a blur, and ser Dal quickly fell to the ground, sprawled on his back as his stallion reared. The victor immediately removed his helmet, releasing his long black braid. He had won. He turned first to his duchess, and Temari followed his gaze. The latter nodded imperceptibly and Sire Kō then approached Temari.
"Your Highness, no victory is as beautiful as you. Please accept this meagre gift," he said, presenting her with a flower.
It was a cactus flower, the symbol of the Hisuna clan. Temari grasped it gently. She owed a debt to Duchess Hyūga, and she would do her best to pay it. It would not be said of Temari Hisuna that she did not pay her debts.
"Ser, this flower will be a precious treasure that I shall keep."
To back up her words, the princess beckoned Matsuri – long since returned – to come over. Her lady-in-waiting then helped her hang the flower on her collar, just above her breast. Sire Kō nodded and trotted off to the victors' tent. Once the flower was hung, Temari looked up at the duchess. The duchess was still smiling, and even winked at her. Temari returned the smile. She didn't know what made Duchess Hinata support her, but she wouldn't forget.