It was 5:15 and Nikki was picking her up at 6 and taking her to dinner. They'd exchanged a lot of texts about what kinds of food Addison liked, if she had any allergies and if there was anything she absolutely would not eat.

"Look she doesn't want to kill you, that's always a good sign for a first date," Mark said as he shuffled some papers around on his desk. It was after eight in New York, but he was still at work clearing up the backlog of responsibilities that had been neglected while he was in LA. "Just try not to be so available Addie, you two hit it off the other night and I have to say I'm jealous she's taking you for Korean barbecue, and I didn't even get my churros because your were so busy swooning all weekend."

"I haven't gone on a first date in forever Mark, I don't think I know how to play hard to get, I am literally so available right now it hurts," she groaned. "And I don't even know if it's going to go anywhere, hell I don't even know if I'm ready for romance."

"You don't have to be, it's just a date. You're trying new food," she heard his computer shut down, and he was throwing something in his briefcase. "This is a new adventure for you, try not to overthink it is all I'm saying," he hit the lights and stepped out of his office intending to head home for the night. "Let me know how it goes."

"I will," she began.

"Oh look who it is," Derek shouted. "Don't think I don't know you were in LA fucking my wife this weekend." Addison threw her hand over her eyes, even 3,000 miles away she knew he was drunk and yelling at Mark. Derek must have realized then that Mark was on the phone, "You're talking to her now too?" He shouted. "Fucking attention seeking whore, fucking around with my best friend!"

"I've gotta go, let me know how things turn out," Mark said softly and before he hung up Addison heard him rough Derek up and tell him he was drunk and offer to drive him home. Addison felt her stomach sink. She was sitting on the couch staring out into space after they disconnected. Naomi had disappeared with Maya over an hour ago to give Addison some space before her date, and now Addie would give anything for her friend's presence. She tried to put on a brave face when Nikki knocked on the door, but it was obvious that something was wrong.

"Oh god what's wrong Addison?" Nichole asked when she saw Addie's face. The redhead shook her head. "Do you not want to go out?" She asked and Addie shook her head, because she did want to go out, she also wanted to punch her husband in the face.

"No I do, just drama back in New York," Nikki nodded and took Addison's hand and the redhead locked the door before following Nichole to her jeep. "You have a jeep?" Addison said, but it came out as more of a question.

"I didn't think you'd want to ride on the back of my bike, besides it is windy this evening and I think we're supposed to get thunderstorms." Addison nodded and as she sat down next to Nikki she put everything else out of her mind. As it turned out Korean barbecue was delicious and also messy, and Addison was glad she'd taken Nikki's advise to dress on the casual side. Not only did the blonde enjoy water sports, she also rode a dirt bike and went four-wheeling. At the end of the night the blonde walked her to the door and she knew Nai was home waiting for her, and possibly spying.

"I had fun tonight Nichole," Addie whispered.

"I was a little nervous when I came to pick you up," she confessed and Addison smiled. "I haven't been on a date in a while."

"Oh god me neither, and Mark was telling me I needed to play hard to get and," they both started laughing.

"I'm glad it wasn't just me Addison."

"We should do this again," Addie quickly suggested, and Nikki nodded.

"We should," she agreed and they stood there awkwardly and Addie definitely saw a shift in the curtains. "Your friend is watching us isn't she?" Nikki asked and Addison nodded. Addie wasn't sure who leaned in first but Nichole's hands were on her waist and her hands were buried in short blonde hair as they kissed. Naomi let out a cheer and the couple just laughed. "You have nosy friends."

"I know," Addison supplied. "I'll call you?" And Nikki nodded and they said goodnight.

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of dates and new food experiences. The new couple went to a food truck festival where they both overindulged and later got sick. They visited the California Surf Museum in Oceanside together and Addison found herself intrigued by the different board types and styles and she listened as Nikki gushed about an exhibit of Bethany Hamilton. Addison expressed an interest in learning to surf and Nikki was excited at the prospect of surfing together. Dating again was interesting for Addison and she found herself blushing every time she she thought about her girlfriend. She also found that she was learning a lot, not only about her new girlfriend, but about herself.

Mark was coming out for another visit and Addie was excited to see him again. It just so happened that his visit coincided with the week that Addison had officially filed for divorce. Her therapy sessions were less frequent and Dr. Kline believed that Addison was of sound mind to file for divorce and that was all her lawyer really needed to hear. Well the good doctor had written a letter to that effect and when the paperwork was filed she felt so relieved.

Her life in New York wasn't something she wanted to discuss with Nikki. She had told the blonde that she was taking a sabbatical and didn't want to talk about it and the other woman had been very understanding. Addison was becoming a new person and she really didn't want to be held down by the sordid details of her old life. The blonde understood, she knew that Addison was coming to terms with her sexuality and so she didn't push for all the details, and such a simple consideration made Addison beyond happy.

On Thursday afternoon she and Mark were walking along the beach. She was telling him about the sushi place she'd gone to with Nikki when her phone began buzzing. She took it out of her pocket, saw it was a New York number and declined the call. They kept walking, her phone buzzed again, it was the same number. Again Addison ignored it and Mark gave her a look, but then she told him about how exhilarating it felt to ride on the back of Nikki's motorcycle as they drove up the coast. The phone buzzed again and Addison rolled her eyes, he didn't leave a voicemail he simply called again and again and the eighth time she finally caved and answered.

"So that's how it's gonna be, you just file for divorce." His voice was dangerously calm and despite the distance Addison felt frightened. She and Mark had stopped walking and he was looking at her with a confused expression. She was silent and Derek was silent and she knew that he knew that Mark was there because he wasn't in his office and Addison knew he'd cleared his schedule from Thursday until Monday for her. The silence fueled his anger and his voice was much louder the next time he spoke.

"He's there isn't he?" He hissed. Derek was talking loud enough that Mark could hear. "That little stunt you pulled is ruining my reputation and now you're trying to get a divorce so you can FUCK HIM!" He shouted. "You know he's been screwing around since you left? Is it really worth it to throw away 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE FOR THAT? He won't change for you, all you're going to get is VD!" He continued yelling. She didn't even know what she wanted to say to him and he just kept yelling. "Is that why you tried to kill yourself? So he'd stop cheating!"

Addison felt herself start to shake and Mark looked worried. She didn't feel right, she couldn't breathe, hell she couldn't just yell back into the phone at him that she was a lesbian and that he was a terrible husband. Her silence made him angrier it was as if he just wanted her to fight back, but Derek had taken all of her fight away, she didn't have the energy to fight with him anymore. She tried to take a deep breath, so she could yell back anything, but her lungs didn't want to cooperate and Mark was staring at her all concerned and he had a bag. He started ruffling through it, and Derek was yelling again and her phone slipped out of her hand as he shouted, "You're a terrible doctor, a terrible wife, you can't even be a mother or even kill yourself right!"

Mark heard every word even as he pulled something out of the bag and her phone fell to the sand and he thrust something into her hand. She knew how to use it because she was a doctor and she knew things or so she thought. She was confused, this had never happened before. Mark picked up her phone and shouted words at Derek, but they didn't make sense they were only sounds and she didn't hear them right and the world was spinning and then Mark was helping her sit down and telling her it was going to be okay. She tried taking deep breaths and the steroids kicked in or something and Mark was rushing her home because she'd had an asthma attack, but she didn't have asthma, and she was just tired. Filing for divorce was supposed to be a relief, but it had just increased her anxiety and Derek was yelling hurtful words and she felt so lost. She was supposed to be making progress and now she wanted to cry, but she was exhausted and everything hurt and she just let Mark lead her away. He took her back to Naomi's and laid her down on the couch. He left the inhaler on the side table in case she needed it.

Mark was on the phone. He called Naomi first, she knew that much. His tone was filled with worry and Naomi came home, but Addison wasn't aware of anything more than her existence in the space. Mark was making phone calls lots of them, he raised his voice several times, but it wasn't at her and she wasn't afraid. He was demanding someone do something, make an appointment maybe, she couldn't wrap her mind around it. She didn't sleep. She was tired and anxious and she felt weird and wrong and her nails dug against the scarred skin on her arm, and Mark looked at her and told her to stop scratching, but she felt itchy and wrong. Then he was pacing he was on hold or so he said to Naomi, but Addison didn't see Naomi. Time moved along and then Nikki was there. They were supposed to go to dinner together, the four of them tonight, but things were so wrong, and she didn't want Nikki to know that she was wrong.

"Hey sweetheart," she moved Addison's head into her lap and sat down on the sofa. Nikki ran her fingers through short red locks and Addie sighed it felt nice and comfortable and real. "Mark said you had a rough day," her voice was so soft and it was a relief that Addison understood what she was saying because she'd been overwhelmed for so long. "Do you want me to order takeout from the Thai place you like?" She asked and Addison shook her head.

"I'm not hungry." Addison replied. Nikki was smiling at her and Addison liked that.

"That's okay." The fingers continued playing through Addison's hair and they were together in comfortable silence. "I was kinda hoping for that cute little smile you get when you're excited about food, you're so cute." It was so sweet and honest and then, "do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm getting a divorce." She raised her eyebrows in response. "My husband is an asshole and I'd like to feed him to a shark right now," and they both laughed and then Mark laughed.

"I'll see if I can get a shark," Mark supplied.

"I still have connections from the Baltimore aquarium, I might be able to help," Nikki said with a grin and Addison smiled at her. The blonde marine biologist was pretty freaking great. Even as the mood lightened though, Addison had a feeling that the moment would die and the world would crash in on her again. Maybe everything had to get worse, before it all could get better