A/N: Meowser wrote the letter and thank god because I was getting nowhere with it lol. This is basically a random chapter I came up with. It's one of the many restless nights Katie had when Ned was away at basic during Lookin' in a Mirror. Enjoy! xx Mariah

It was three o'clock in the morning and Katie knew she should be asleep, but she just couldn't. Every time she tried, it was like she had this itch to get up and clean. That was how she found herself clearing through her desk, just a couple of hours before she had to get up.

She was usually an organized person, she wasn't the cleanest person in the world, nor did absolutely everything have an exact place, but she prided herself on her organizational skills.

However, her husband had a secret and that secret was the second drawer on the right of his desk. It was where Ned put things he was sure he'd find a place for eventually. Or at least that's what she thought he did with the drawer.

She called it a black hole because no matter how much he kept saying he'd look through it, he never had the time or the willpower to, so here she was. Halfway through the drawer, she found a clearly worn folded piece of paper and it took her a minute before she realized what it was.

It was the first letter Katie had ever written to Ned. The first of many and he always loved them as much as she loved writing them. She still wrote to him sometimes now, but they were different. They were more intimate, special.

She could remember writing it so clearly and holding the paper in her hand took her back to that moment, her heart sped up, and she found herself reading it.

Ned,

I know I say I don't miss you that much and that the distance is bearable. And the distance is bearable. But I do miss you. I miss you so much, baby. You are my sunshine, and your texts mean so much to me.

I catch myself zoning out often, just thinking of you. Even in the middle of class the other day the teacher even called on me and I didn't hear. I was thinking about you. About all the nice things you tell me. About how you know about my gift.

I was remembering how you look naked… and all I could think about was the next time you make love to me. Babe. I completely lost myself. I was thinking about your hands, and how gently you start out. How your hands are whisper-soft on my arms and then you move to my breasts and become a little rougher, showing more passion.

I was thinking about how you lose control. About the look on your face as you lean in to kiss me, and the way you kiss my neck. I was thinking about how you slam into me, right before you're about to come. I love the way you hold onto me and pull me so close.

At that moment you're my entire world and all I want is to be your sun. Ned, I miss you so much. I'm always gonna miss you. I love you more than anything and I can't wait until we're finally living together.

Your Katie

Katie wiped away the tears from her eyes. She hadn't even realized she was crying until it was over.

She never truly gave herself time to miss Ned since he'd left, but now she was letting herself it all came back.

She missed more than just the man she loved. She missed her best friend, the person she will spend forever with. There were times when she could smell him just briefly in the haze of waking. Deep and rich, the smells invaded her senses making her head spin and her heart race.

Only it wasn't real.

He wasn't here. Even if she wanted him to be.

Katie wanted more than anything to just burrow in his embrace and never leave, and if she closed her eyes she could picture it so perfectly. She could hear him and the way his voice resonated through a crowd, or even its softness across the pillows at night to only her.

She could imagine the way his fingers brush along her neck, crossing over her shoulder and down her arm before he left for work. They'd been dating hardly long at all when he first did it, likely thinking she was still asleep.

If only he pressed a hand to her heart, then he would have felt it racing and her lungs heavy and shaking, trying to breathe inconspicuously.

She pressed a kiss to her wedding ring and its cool surface steamed against her breath. His lips on hers were so much warmer than this. Sometimes there was a hint of spice from his Altoids behind his kisses that only intensified the longer they continued.

She could still feel the way he'd kissed her when he left a few weeks ago. The passion and emotion behind it as they said goodbye, the air thick and oppressive. She couldn't wait to say hello again.

Finally, the tiredness hit her and the compulsion to tidy was gone, at least temporarily, so Katie climbed back into bed and felt the cat rub against her backside. She rubbed behind Stitches' ears and closed her eyes, trying her best to dream something happy about Ned.