A/N: This is not long after the ending of Lookin' in a Mirror, but includes something I've been thinking about for a long time before I even considered it. Meowser helped a lot. I hope you enjoy xx Mariah

Ages:

Katie - 22
Ned - 28
Melinda - 47
Jim - 51
Aaron - 18
Mackenzie - 12

Katie breathed in the scent of roses, smiling up at her husband. She was so thankful for him. Even more now, only a few months since the Mason situation had happened.

She'd never stop being grateful for being home again, for being safe, for having Ned around every corner, for having him just a phone call or text away.

"It's for the best four years," Ned said, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. "You deserve flowers."

"I love these," she told him, taking another smell of the flowers before she looked back at him. "You're too good to me. Most guys don't remember their wedding anniversaries, let alone the one from before."

"That's impossible to forget Katie," Ned replied, and slowly wrapped his arms her. "I can never be good enough to you to make up for all the crap I've put you through."

"Don't be silly, we've both done stupid and dumb things to each other," she said, leaning her head back to kiss his chin. "Now let me put these in water. Did you want to go out for dinner?"

"Actually, I got Chinese delivered, and it should be here any minute now," he said, checking his watch. "I just wanted to spend the night home alone with you. My girl."

She smiled. "Did you get cream cheese wontons?"

"Of course, I got a double order so you can have some for lunch tomorrow," he said, and she almost purred with delight. "And extra hot mustard."

"Thank you," she whispered. "God, I love you, Ned."

"I love you too," he replied, and she twisted in his arms, laying the flowers on the counter and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Their lips touched, and Katie sighed against his lips, opening her mouth to deepen the embrace. She'd never get over the moment when their lips first touched. Or the way Ned's hands would hold her face and work his tongue into her mouth.

She'd been afraid that intimacy would be harder since the Mason situation but, after she'd physically healed, everything had been fine. Peachy even.

It didn't matter that they weren't going at it like bunnies for probably the first time ever. Ned wasn't outwardly complaining, right? At least not to her.

She was kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but she also was hoping that it wouldn't. That may be, for once, life would just be easier for them instead of hard.

Her mother hadn't agreed.

"It's only been, what, four months? If you haven't had nightmares or problems yet, your brain is probably still blocking it out," her mother had warned her. "I want you to see a therapist. You're still on our health plan and your dad's insurance will cover it."

"That will just make it worse, mom," Katie had replied. "Because then I'll be talking about it again. I told Ned already, what else matters?"

"Katie, I'm telling you," Melinda said. "I've been through this before. It sucks, but you need to talk about it because later on, you might not be able to talk about it. And then the PTSD will come. Maybe soon, or maybe even years down the road."

"Not yet," Katie said. "I'm not ready for that."

Her mother had sighed, but nodded, tightly embracing her daughter. "I love you, Katherine Ann. Just let me know when."

The doorbell ringing pulled her out of her trance just as Ned's lips pulled back from hers. He straightened and went to get the food, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket.

God, yes, she couldn't wait to devour the cream cheese wontons and get all this bad energy out of her head.

She and Ned were fine. They would be fine. They always were.

She was lost in thought about it while arranging the flowers in a vase when Ned managed to sneak up on her.

"You know, Katie," he breathed hotly on her ear as he wrapped his arm around her middle, pulling her close to him. "I've been dying to have Chinese food all week. Are you as excited as I am?"

It was still kind hard for her to be snuck up on, and most of the time Ned made his presence known because of it.

When she pulled away from him, he turned to look at her face. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" He asked.

She shook her head, biting her lip uneasily. "No, it's not you." She felt her skin crawling as she was tumbled back into that moment. Mason pressing the barrel of a gun against her neck as she made the steaks, his arms around her and pressing himself against her. "It's not you, Ned." She held onto the counter with shaking hands and felt a few tears roll down her face.

He could her read the worry and scared look on her face. Only one person made her feel like that. "I spooked you, I'm sorry. I forget sometimes," his hand rested on her shoulder for a moment before she turned in to hug him, wrapping her arms around him.

"I know. I do too." She whispered softly, tucking her face into his chest. His arms relaxed and rubbed back and forth on her back. He could never fail to make her feel so warm and safe. "I think I should start seeing a therapist. My mom thinks it's a good idea."

"I'm on board with whatever makes you feel safer, Katie." He said, pulling back and reaching toward the brown paper bag with their food in it. He brought out a white to-go container and opened it for her. It was the cream cheese wontons. "And these. These make you feel good too."

She laughed and grabbed one, biting into it. Yes. These definitely made her feel good too.

After her first few sessions, Katie did feel better. She didn't feel as crazy when her therapist, Julie, told her that her reactions were perfectly normal. That they were the same reactions most people who had just gone through traumatic situations went through.

In her case, she had gone through a lot in the last two years. Julie had suggested Katie adopt up something new in her life, whether that be a sport, a diet, or even a haircut. She had also suggested keeping a separate journal for any bad experiences or days Katie had so that they could talk about them at their weekly session.

It was a good start. The journal helped and she'd gotten a haircut to change things up.

She ran her hands through her shoulder-length hair and messed around with the bangs that ran across her forehead before she was about to walk into her mother's shop. The last time she'd done something like this and hadn't run it by her mother, she was sixteen. Melinda had been so upset, mainly because she'd dyed her hair blonde, but you get the picture.

Katie pushed open the antique store's front door a moment later, expecting the usual what the hell reaction from her mother, but instead Melinda wasn't out front.

It was her sister Mackenzie, who was eyeballing her. "Bangs too, really?" The blonde shook her head slowly. "You've never looked good with bangs, Katie."

"I think it looks good," Katie shrugged. "Is mom in the back?"

"Yeah, she's arguing with Aaron in the back. Something about missing school and possibly losing his scholarship at Rockland." Mackenzie said.

"He what?" She immediately stormed into the back room to see her mother was definitely in the process of scolding her little brother. "What did you do?"

"He's skipping school to go on coffee dates with Lucy," her mother scoffed, turning around to look her over slowly. "You cut your hair."

"Do you not realize that colleges look at everything?" She whacked her brother over the head and then rolled her eyes. "Especially your attendance, and do you like it?"

"I like the bangs, I always liked mine." Melinda smiled and ran her hand through it. "It's really short for you. You usually keep your hair long."

"I know, but it's different," she shrugged. "I just needed something different."

"So can I go now?" Aaron groaned.

"Are you gonna stop skipping homeroom and first period?" Her mother turned back to her brother and held out her hands. "And I want your keys. You'll get them back when I see you haven't missed any classes for a week."

Aaron sighed and reluctantly gave her his car keys before their mother made his punishment worse. He knew better than to try and fight her on anything, their father usually backed her up. It was one in a million chances that he wouldn't.

"Love you too, son," Melinda called out after him and then wrapped Katie in a hug. "Now that he's gone you can tell me a little more about that haircut decision."

Katie rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yeah, yeah."

Her mother always knew her better than she knew herself.

When Ned got home from work, Katie had just sat down to look over some assignments she had to grade. It was a little after eight, a little late for him, but she wasn't worried. He usually told her why when he got home, especially if she prodded.

"Hi, honey. How was work?" She asked, circling a spelling error.

"It was long," he sighed and hung up his jacket. He came toward the couch and leaned against the back of it, turning to look down at her. "I screwed up a case today and was trying to fix it. I'll probably have to stay late all week."

She watched as he slowly reached out to touch the ends of her hair and chuckled. "Do you like it?" She asked.

"Yes. I thought you'd just got some bangs until I got closer." He smiled.

"Okay, but that majorly sucks to hear about work, I'm sorry." She said and set aside her assignments to sit up. "Are you hungry? I think there are a few leftover options that I can heat up for you."

"I can heat up some food. You don't have to," he shrugged.

"I want to, plus I missed you." She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "So c'mon we can go find you something to eat."

It wasn't long before she found Ned some leftover lasagna a warmed it up for him. She sat with him at the table, drinking a glass of wine and enjoying a bowl of ice cream while he ate.

He told her about his long day and the case he ruined. He hadn't known there had been an undercover sting in play when he took down some lower level drug dealers and blew up a three-month operation and scared off the big buyers. Katie had had an okay normal day at the high school, with the usual drama that came from teaching teenagers.

When Ned finished eating, he brought their dishes in and came back with the bottle of wine and another glass. They shared another glass by a fire that he mad, and even some soft music was put on.

Ned's hand was in hers as they sat on the floor in front of the couch, the wine long was gone and a flush of warmth on their cheeks.

"I miss being with you, alone, like this." He whispered. "Things have been so hectic all year."

"Life is always a mess," she said as the music ended, the playlist over.

Their pinkies tangled together as they waged war over who got to play the next one. Ned won and then got up to choose a new playlist. When she heard the first cord to one of her favorite Elton John songs, she knew what he was doing. He was testing the boundary waters and trying to get her in the mood.

She was suddenly shy, and couldn't look anywhere but at the floor, even he was Ned. She knew him better than anyone. He was her husband, she loved him, but it was like every insecurity and worry that had been in the back of her head since the Mason fiasco just brust free.

The song was a few bars in when Ned sat down beside her and put his hands on her face- they were gentle and warm, like always. Their eyes meet, just briefly, and there was a moment where they just looked at each other, and he knew.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his thumb spreading across her cheek.

"I'm nervous," she whispered, gazing back down at her hands. She picked at the clipped away manicure she'd gotten a few weeks earlier. "And I'm afraid that if I keep saying no, you'll stop asking and then eventually stop loving me."

"Hey," he rose her head a little, to meet her eyes. "Never, baby." He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. "I'm here, waiting, for whenever you're ready."

She nodded slowly and took in a breather. "Let's just take it slow," she said. "Baby steps."

"Baby steps," he smiled, his hand cupping her cheek as he leaned forward.

Then his lips are on hers. Her legs trembled a little like a baby deer- she pressed them together and pretended that this was just like any other time he's kissed her.

But it's not. It's not, and she doesn't care. She's trying not to care.

They kissed until the room goes dark from the dying fire, and that's when she pulled away. Ned carried her to their bedroom then and kneeled at the edge of the mattress. She tried to keep her legs from shaking as his fingers trailed up the length of ankles, calves, knees, thighs-

And then the blood drained from her head as he found the loops on her jeans and began to tug them down. His hands traced over the tops of her thighs like he's never seen legs before or something, and then he paused and their eyes locked.

"Is this okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," she whispered, more out of instinct and not wanting to disappoint him again then anything else.

"Are you sur-" he started, but she didn't let him finish.

She smushed her lips against his and slowly kicked her jeans off until he pressed directly against her.

What comes next was all a blur. The warmth of his breath spilling onto the taut canvas of her belly. His lips there next, brushing a light trail down her overheated skin until the air locked in her throat and her fingers tangled in the soft waves of his hair. The kiss he pressed against the tender muscles that connect her right leg and torso, and then he moved up to kiss her shoulders and up her neck, his hands running over her breasts. "Mmm, c'mon Katie, tell me how you like it."

Katie was transported right back to that moment, to Mason on top of her and those same words coming out of his mouth, and felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in her abdomen. Tension grew in her face and limbs, her mind replaying those moments over and over again in her head. Her breathing became more rapid and she squeezed her eyes closed.

He paused and moved off to the side of her as his eyes widen in concern. "Oh, Katie..." he whispered softly. "What's wrong?"

"I can't get him out of my head," she cried. "I'm sorry." She rose her chin, her eyebrows pressing together as her lips twist down and her chin trembles. "I'm so sorry."

She dared him to say something. And he did.

"Oh, Katie, don't apologize." He repeated, his voice trembling. "You never have to apologize to me."

The thoughts were accelerating inside her head. She wanted them to slow so she could breathe but they won't. Her breaths came in gasps and she felt like she would black out. Her heart was hammering inside her chest like it belonged to a rabbit running for its skin.

"Just breathe," he whispered, his hand rubbing up and down her back. "In and out."

She nodded and followed his words, breathing in and out slowly. She closed her eyes and willed happy thoughts into her head to bury the bad ones. She turned into her husband's chest, wrapping her arms around him.

His hand drifted up her neck and cradled her head, his fingers looping in her hair and his thumb brushing along her cheekbone, just under her eye. Her eyes flutter wetly shut and her aching heart battered itself against her ribs.

"You'll catch your breath soon. I'm here," he whispered, his lips pressing against her forehead.

That was enough. He was always enough.