'Return Visit' Chapter the Third aka 'Here We Go Again!' or 'Templar Trivia'
DISCLAIMER: Please see Chapter the First. We are dispensing w/ separate chapter disclaimers to save time and tediums.
"Please don't shoot, ma'am." begged Ritsuke. "Mi-Ke hasn't done anything to hurt you, has he?" piped up Ari. "You an Elf, girlie? Aw Hell, let's strip her anyway, Ari!" grumbled Junpei who was rubbing his aching shoulder. For answer, Neko lowered her weapon but made no move to re-holster the disruptor pistol.
"OK. Tell Johnny Berringer and his cronies to get outta the tank so I can arrest 'em." replied the nekomata catgirl demon.
"There ain't nobody inside our tank except Lady Celsia who's our little koala and she's harmless. She just craps out rolls of toilet paper! By the way, why ain't none of you yay-hoos wearin' masks? Yhe president of Elfworld decreed that everybody has to wear masks outside and keep 2 metres away from each other and we gotta wash our hands every hour and use hand sanitizers afore we get to take off any lady elves' clothes to look for them spell fragment tattoos." yawned Ritsuke who, likewise, had lowered her Thompson gun but had made no move to put it aside.
"Yo! Have you fools forgotten who's in charge here? Get off that danged tank and everybody drop yer weapons! Sheesh! Don't they know I'm the bad guy here?" yelled the Time Shuffler guy who was stomping his feet repeatedly. The Boss Lady laughed and refilled her glass w/ Irish whiskey and ticked ashes from her cheroot on the floor.
"You bozo bird-brain. You are outnumbered and outgunned. I am hereby ordering you to drop your weapons, sit down and shut up and I mean now, mister." she ordered quietly (Hoist the storm warnings folks whenever Kei gets quietly!) "What exactly do you want from us, pal?" demanded Rebecca angrily. She was waving a tiny peepperbox derringer around. The last time she had that piece out she had accidently shot herself in the foot w/ it!
"Did I not already explain re the Templars' treasure trove? Where did the Templars first make their appearance? Anyone?: inquired the Time Shuffler. Fujiko took a draw on her cigarette in its green jade holder before blwoing a smoke ring and replying. "Somewhere on our world of Terra (Earth) in the 9th Century before the Crusades started. Every school child knows that, sir." said the brunette beauty. "Yup. Even I knew that one, man." said Rebecca. "Yeah and she's pretty darned dumb." added Jigen. Rebecca looked daggers at the Druidy guy. "Nope. Ye're both wrong. The Templars originated on Gallifrey. One of their own Order of Time Lords was a charter member of the bunch." corrected Lupin III. "Give that thief a cigar. Well said, Monsieur Lupin." agreed Inspector Zenigata. Like Lupin, 'Pops' had remembered their earlier 'Galactic Treasure Hunt' for the Templars' fortune.
"That is why I am of the opinion that they hid their loot not only on their homeworld of Gallifrey but also in a different time era 'BR'- before Lord Rathelon founded the Time Lords. So we are all going to go to the Citadel of Gallifrey just as soon as that dog and his boy get here w/ the 'Wayback Machine'. Mr Peabody insisted that his boy Sherman finish his school year before they would come here to 'BR 0173' on this icy world. He threatened to destroy his time machine unless I agreed. I'd no other choice and-" explained the TS when the back wall of the cavern collapsed and the most ridiculous looking contraption ever conceived in a sick mind trundled into the cavern. The top popped open and a schoolboy of some 9 summers hopped out onto the gadget and promptly fell on the floor! "Ouch! Damned if that didn't hurt like Hell, Mr Peabody!" whimpered Sherman.
"Language, boy! language! We are amongst genteel people, not the riff raff we usually hang out ith, Shermie. Beg pardon, Peabody here and this is my boy, Sherman. If a boy can have a dog, I see no reason why a dog cannot have a boy. Have Sherlock and the professors arrived yet? Aha! It's old TS himself, laddie. Sorry we're a tad late, good sir but I took a wrong turn and we ran into the 'Andromeda Strain' and-" explained the small grey spaniel canine who was impeccably attired in a dark dinner suit and spats.
"Did we ask you for your life history, you dumb mutt?" growled Junpei, quickly yanking down Neko's uniform slacks while Ari and Ritsuke ripped off her tunic. "Nope. Not an Elf maiden after all, guys. Sorry, miss." apologized Ari. An astounded and angry Neko Olson was standing in her stocking feet wearing only her undergarments. "My dear child! Have you no decency? Cover yourself! Don't look, Shermie! Exposing a lady in public! Clearly this is a genus nekomata demonius- a female catgirl demon." said Mr P, puffing on his calabash pipe which Sherman had swiped from Dr Watson's surgery back in Victorian London.
Rebecca and Fujiko quickly hustled the embarrassed Major Olson into the tank (Mi-Ke) which began purring loudly. A few moments later, ared-faced angry but now fully clothed Neko Olson emerged from the tank and sat down beside her rescuers beside the hot rocks 'fire' while everyone else hid their smirks or looked away from the catgirl.
Junpei apologized and bowed deeply. POW! Neko's fist crashed into the big guy's jaw! "Now we are just about even, you big dumb ox. OK pal, how the Dickens are we gonna get to Gallifrey? All we got is that piece of junk and an old WW II Terran tank." asked Neko, lighting up a cheroot and accepting a mug o' java from the Boss Lady. "I took the liberty of borrowing a TARDIS the last time I visited the Time Lords' world. Unlike the Doctors' TARDIS, mine has a working camouflage circuit. It's sitting beside the tank- cloaked of course. (He pointed a remote at the wall and presto! A small garden shed materialized beside Mi-Ke!) I call her 'Red Cap' after Stevenson's kiddie nursery rhyme riddle. Mr Goemon, Mr Junpei and the ladies will use one of the replicators to make us some provisions and cold suits and load them aboard the TARDIS.
"In the meantime, I believe an explanation is in order for you. The Templar treasure is immense so there will be plenty for all of us and you will each receive your fair share while I take the 'Angels' Share' as the leader of this expedition in time and space. Give me your solemn Galactic Oath that you will not use your weapons unwisely and I will permit you to retain possession of them. Raise your hands or paws if you agree. That includes you Elf hunting kooks. (What choice did they have? They raised their hands and paws and swore) Excellent!
"Back in the first year of Lord Rathelon on Gallifrey, this esteemed personage decided that both time and space needed to be governed to prevent the misuse of time travel and the Order of Time Lords began. Some two millennia (A millenium is a thousand years like the German Reichs) later which corresponded to the 9th Century AD on your Terra (Earth), three of these Time Lords decided to found the Order of the Knights of the Rosy Cross to guard the temples of the Catholics. Why? This I do not know nor does it matter a whit to me nor to my plans.
The three Time Lords traveled via TARDIS to Terra and recruited six other knights from all across the globe- nine in all counting the TLs and they formally founded the Order of the Knights of the Temple aka the Knights Templar. BION, this Order still exisys across the galaxies and all the Universes as well. Most of their loot they got hnestly by robbing the rich to help the poor but almost always the 'poor' meant their own selves. Then came that fateful day when the six Terran knights made an unwise decision to lend money to a French king named Philip the Fair, fair because of the colour of his hair, not because he was fair or just in his dealings!
In time, payment was due and greedy Philip went to Constantinople where he hatched a plot w/ the Pope (Gregory I believe was the blighter's name) t accuse the Templars of heresy and to make a long story short, he hanged or burned evry Templar or Templar sympathizer he could find on Friday the 13th which is why Terrans deem this day as being unlucky- very unlucky for those Templars! Philip now need not repay his debts. The three TLs had of course scooted off back to Gallifrey to make more mischief especially the one who called himself the 'Master'.
The remaining Templar Knights of the Order had meanwhile colelcted all their loot including religious junk like the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail cup, the Spear of Longnines and the Shroud of Turin (The one in Italy is a fake), etc. and hid it deep underground beneath the Tower of Rathelon on gallifrey but they also used their knowledge of time learned from their three original founders to hide the loot in time as well! At the Warriors' gate to be precise.
"Using my TARDIS which will also hold the cat tak there and that monstrosity of Peabody's and all of us, we shall travel to Gallirey and reach the Tower of Rathelon. Once there, Mr P will whisk all of us back to 'BR 0173' where we shall liberate the treasure trove, divvy it up and then I will return each of you back to your own time eras and your own locations in space. Any questions?" finished the Time Shuffler. There was silence before the Marshall began to clap her gloved hands over and over again while the pompous idiot TS bowed to them all. Of course, Ms O'Halloran was being sarcastic!
"One problem, sonny. And it's a doozy. You are gonna be meddling w/ time itself and the Space/Time Continuum is a thin membrane which was only patched recently- in AD 2265. Put any more strain on it and the results will be disastrous. Look how many of us that you did not want nor need were brought through and away from their own times and places in the cosmoses.
"That Tower on Gallifrey is booby-trapped to the extremes. The doggie's gadget there is calibrated for Terran Earth timelines and who knows besides Kami (God) if it will work on Rathelon timelines on Gallifrey. Oh and don't forget that the 'Master' and his two fellow Time Lords who first founded the Templars are still around and the 'Master' wants power- and he'll get it once he has the Templar riches and he does not like to share w/ anyone. I, for one, will accompany you on this fools' errand but only because I am sworn to uphold the Law in my jurisdictions and Gallifrey's galaxy is one of those places.
"Know this, buddy. If this plan of yours backfires and it will, you will face trial before the High Council of the Time Lords of Gallifrey. Once convicted, you could be unmade and unborn never to have existed at all ever- in any timeline(s). Are you prepared to risk tour own life and lives of reincarnated Time Shufflers just to satisfy your greed and quest for divine power? Think re it, my friend." said the Boss lady aka She Who WILL Be Obeyed.
Suddenly the TS looked quite worried indeed!
END of Chapter the Third. Chapter the Fourth aka 'The Hunt Begins' or 'Lost In Time' will be posted soon. R/R/S and we appreciate your loyalty.- K&K and Story Teller Guy.