I quickly realized that we were biting off more than we could chew. First off, since Speck never went to school before, she had to take a lot of entrance exams to find her grade placement. Back before the Erasers attacked us on the school bus, Speck and I both took the required state tests, but not all of them fit the online equivalents. She would have to start all over again. There was an official online-learning school where those tests were, but man they were expensive! It didn't help that it was the only online school out there. Together, we had barely enough to afford one of the exams, which put Speck in a permanent pout for the day.
"I'm sorry Speck, we'll just have to find a way to get more money," I tried to sway her. It didn't help that they required a debit or savings account to pay with, because all we had were credit cards.
All she did was grunt and cross her arms at me.
Secondly, we had to prove that we were financially stable (like, of course not?) and had constant access to wifi. Our "proof of residence" was our parent's house, but I felt uneasy in choosing that. We already put them at risk before; I didn't want to do that again. They did suggest scholarships to help us with payments, but even that was another step and a half. We needed social security numbers, some form of ID for me since I am technically her guardian, and other personal things I knew we did not have. We weren't supposed to exist in the government's eyes, but here we were defying the odds.
The kicker was realizing that home-schooling wouldn't work either. It also depended on the state, where each one required the guardian to have at least a high school diploma or at least some idea of what to teach their child. Being cooped up in a cage for two years along with mental and physical abuse made me forget everything regarding school. I didn't even finish freshman year due to a certain Eraser kidnapping me. The last thing I remember was something to do with equations and shapes, and maybe a little bit about U.S. history, but that was it. I couldn't teach her, and as much as I wanted to, I didn't know exactly what to teach her.
Speck couldn't believe it.
"Why? Why can't they teach me?" she sobbed while we ate our somewhat soggy food.
"Because they're buttheads," I grumbled, also peeved that the system was that airtight. You would think that the country that thrives on education would provide more for those that need it, right? Nope. You must go through so many steps to ensure you're "qualified" enough otherwise you're out of luck.
"But they have to teach me!" she whined. "I'm supposed to be in school!"
"I know, I know, the system is messed up," I rubbed my left temple. If we were caught during the day, right now, we would be questioned why we weren't in classes. What were we supposed to tell them? "Oh, we can't afford school"? Then we would be arrested, charged with truancy, and possibly end up in jail. No, we wouldn't even end up there since we have no social security number. We'd end up in federal prison and questioned even more on our existence.
"Wait, how the heck did mom and dad get us into school?" I queried, realizing neither of us had this info on us in the first place.
"I don't know," she cried, wiping tears off her cheeks. "Mom told me they still had your baby stuff, and they got me registered by filling out forms but-" She choked and started tearing up again.
"The Erasers," I breathed. They must have stolen and/or destroyed that information when they got to our home. No wonder it was decimated; they were making sure there was no proof of us being alive. It made sense. If the government couldn't find us, that made it easier for them to kill us.
"This sucks!" Speck bawled, causing her sandwich to fall onto the dirt. I quickly picked it up and wiped off the grime as she cried into her hands. I set it on my backpack and pulled her into a hug.
"Shh, I know it sucks, but we'll make it work," I reassured her.
She sniffed, "How?"
"We'll… research what you should be learning- yeah!" I pulled back so we were looking at each other. "We'll find out what a second grader should be learning, and I'll teach you from there. The internet is huge, so we should be able to find something. Then you could learn at your own pace and learn what you want."
She hung her head, contemplating over my suggestion. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was all I could think of. Speck deserved more than anything in this world, and if I had to change my plans for her, I had to do it in a heartbeat. I had to.
"I guess…" Speck mumbled, pulling up her knees to her chest. "But I wanted to meet other kids too. And sit in a cafeteria. And swing on a swing set. And skip a class. And…" Her voice trailed off as her mind continued to wander. She wanted the full experience of school, which was something I couldn't provide.
"I'm sorry Speck, I wish things were different," I apologized. I heard her sigh. "But we'll make this work, I promise. How about we finish up here, find a good place for wifi, and set up a day-to-day planner for learning?"
She gently nodded against her knees, her body still tense and unsure of the situation.
"You just have to remember that if something comes up, we have to deal with that first. Your life comes first, no matter what, okay?" She needed to realize this, despite her wants.
"Okay," her voice muffled by her knees.
"Then let's go," I stood up from the ground and held out my hand for hers. It took her a second, but she eventually grabbed mine and I pulled her up. "Let's hit that coffee shop I saw on the map. It looked like they served smoothies too."
Her eyes widened slightly, and I chuckled.
We reached Chicago a little after dark, so we took refuge in a park not too far from the city's center while Speck muttered math equations to herself. Our search for education turned up to be a slight success because of a website catered towards learning. There were informative videos on there that spanned from first grade math to college level courses, but there were key subjects that weren't included. The first session we had was to determine how versed Speck was in all the subjects and, come to find out, she was the most proficient in math and science. She understood high-school level mathematics, biology, and excelled in computers so much that she could major with it in college. The other subjects? Not so much. Her Social Studies, Writing, and Reading skills were at the same level with second graders, though her Geography was about the same as a fourth grader. She was bugged that she would place third grade at best in an actual school.
Thankfully, she took a liking towards reading, but I had to help her with difficult words. We had finished a math worksheet before we took flight, so she was trying to memorize the algebraic formulas she used. I made sure to keep hidden before climbing a tree and hoisting her up onto a sturdy branch. Once settled, she quickly pulled out the laptop and looked up the formula.
"Dang it!" she cried.
"What's wrong?" I whipped my head around to look at her.
"It was 'y' equals 'm' 'x' plus 'b'! Not minus," she huffed, clearly miffed.
"Oh, you scared me for a second," I lightly chuckled, but she was too focused on continuing her learning that I didn't get a response. I yawned and shifted my body to where I was comfortable on my branch. Propping my arms under my head, I looked up through the leaves while listening to her type away at the computer. After a couple of minutes, I rose my voice a little, "Hey, you should get some sleep."
"I'm almost done," she replied quickly. I turned my head towards her and noticed she pulled out another worksheet.
"Speck, no, you need to sleep. Don't you want to see the giant bean?" I kept my voice stern, as she already stayed up the night prior to work on her social studies.
She paused before glancing over at me, "One more problem? Please?"
I sighed, "Fine, but I'm watching you until you finish."
"Fine," she huffed before writing down the problem on her glittering green notebook. Our shopping for supplies the other day fueled her desire to learn so much that both of our bags ended up two pounds heavier. She insisted on textbooks, but I swiftly denied that since we could find copies of them online.
After five minutes, she closed-up the notebook and stashed it away in her bag. I watched as she put away everything except the laptop, and I raised an eyebrow at her. She shyly looked at me, "I'm putting it away!"
"Oh really?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Mhm!" she quickly shut it and shoved it into her pack. I nodded and leaned back into a comfortable position, wondering how the hell she'd be excited to stay up to do homework. I yawned when she asked, "Hey Amber?"
"Yeah?" I replied with my eyes closed.
"Do you think the Doomsday Group is going to do something bad?"
Not this again. "I think they're already doing bad things."
"I know, it's just… do you think they might do something worse?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe? They're not a good group, so I wouldn't be surprised if they did," I shrugged.
"So… what if they did something good?"
I opened my eyes, "What are you getting at, Speck?"
"Well, when I was searching for that formula, I saw that they managed to stop a company from dumping chemicals into a river with a huge protest. Isn't that a good thing?" she peered at me; her big eyes full of hope.
I slightly frowned, "Huh, yeah I guess that is good… but don't forget what happened at the zoo. That wasn't a good thing, remember?"
She pouted, "Yeah, but- they are helping the world, like Fang is, so why is one small thing like that bad?"
I sighed, "Think about it like this Speck. If a group of people do a lot of good things and one bad thing, that doesn't make the group 'good.' If they're capable of doing that bad thing, then they could do even more bad things with that 'good' face in front of them."
She turned her face from me, and I realized I wasn't getting through to her. "Speck, listen. We can't believe in a group like this. Sure, they seem nice and pleasant on the surface, but they could be doing some really bad things we don't know about. We shouldn't get caught up in this, let Fang and his gang do that." I waved off the last few words.
"But-"
"Speck, come on, we have our own goals to accomplish. Like sleeping, so let's get some shut eye before we see the bean tomorrow, okay? There's also an aquarium if you want to go," I said in my best convincing voice.
"Fine," she mumbled before turning on her side, her back facing me.
I sighed and leaned back down, though my once comfortable position was lost. Grunting, it took me a bit before finding a new position where I could let my wings relax. I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep, but my mind was racing.
What has gotten into her?
The next day was tense, mostly because of last night's discussion on the Doomsday Group. Speck acted like I was in the wrong, and I was getting pretty peeved off about it. I wanted this day to be at least somewhat relaxing since it was Chicago. The wind from the lake was so strong that I had trouble keeping my wings tight against me, and I had to put my hair back in a very messy ponytail. Speck's hair was everywhere, and she whined and wished she could put her hair back too, but it was too short. I gave her my old school headband to keep her hair out of her face, but she refused.
"Why won't you use it?" I frowned as we approached the shiny, bean-shaped sculpture. We had already visited the aquarium, but to my dismay, Speck wasn't interested. Even when I tried to incorporate what she was learning, like reading the signs for each type of fish, she would stare off into the distance. So as a last-ditch effort, we turned to visiting the bean where a large crowd was forming. We kept our distance, but I could tell Speck wasn't interested either.
"I don't want to," she huffed, crossing her arms and looking out at the lake. I wondered if we just needed another dose of swimming to make her feel better, but she also shot that idea down.
I let out an exasperated sigh, "Why are you being so stubborn? Is it because of last night? I thought you wanted to see the bean; you were so excited about it the other day."
"Well, I don't want to anymore!" she exclaimed, catching the eyes of passerby. I quickly shushed her.
"Speck, please, I want for you to have fun while we're here," I squatted down a bit so we were eye-to-eye. "If you don't want to see the bean, then what do you want to do?"
"Anything but this," she bit back, kicking a pebble.
I frowned, "Speck, come on. You're being childish."
"Well- that's what I am!" she pitched her voice, causing me to shush her again.
"Stop it Speck, I know you're upset, but that doesn't mean you should make a scene," I looked around at the people watching us. A few eyed our faces and whispered towards each other, but I could hear that they identified our faces from the news. "Especially here. We should go, people are recognizing us."
"I don't care," she muttered under her breath, but I could hear her easily.
I blinked, bewildered at her choice of words, "What? You don't care? Are you serious? You'd rather throw a tantrum like a toddler in the middle of a public space than worry about your own life? Are you kidding me Speck?"
Her eyes went wide but before she could open her mouth I butted in, "No! You are going to stop being a pain in the ass, act like we have our lives on the line, which we do, and have a good time with me. God, I'm so tired of you acting so immature all the time! We can't keep going at your pace, because there is more than one person here. You have to face the facts, Speck! You need to- You need to grow up!" I growled the last few words and urgently grabbed her hand.
"Now. Let's. Go," I spat and dragged her away from the crowd. A couple glanced our way, and one of them pulled out their phone which made me walk even faster. Speck struggled to keep up with me. My face heated up as we marched out of there.
I continued clenching her little fist until we got to a semi-barren alley. I released my grip just slightly and she wrenched her arm away from me. She stopped in the middle of the narrow path and held her hand close to her chest, silent as the wind, and kept two steps behind me. I didn't dare to look at her, as I was still steaming and wanting to punch a hole in a tree. I didn't dare to talk to her, as I knew she would lash out at me in the same way she did earlier. I didn't dare to think about the numerous people taking pictures with a reflective bean in the background where you could easily see an light-orange-haired teen and young girl with green flecks on their skin.
A deep, sinking feeling finally rose in my stomach. God, I was so stupid for thinking we could get away with going to a renowned sculpture. Now we had to hide for good. No more easy walking into a store for food. We had to go back to dumpster diving and illegally getting cash online. We had to, otherwise we were dead meat, again. Not to mention the fact that we would most likely be outed as quick as a bullet soon – ITex probably sent out their hitman already.
I pinched myself in anger.
I finally glanced at her. She spun her body away from me and said nothing. I huffed and continued walking back towards the park. If she was going to be like this, then fine. I wasn't going to talk until she got some sense back in her.
The silence between us rose and blended in with the wind, and I was struggling to keep my stray hair tucked back. I kept my focus forward as we headed back towards our tree and climbing back up it. She didn't even let me help her get up, even as she struggled in gripping the knots on the trunk. Once we were both up high, she claimed a branch far from me and pulled out the laptop. I didn't see what she was doing, but I didn't care. If she wasn't getting caught up in that stupid group nonsense, or frothing over Fang's blog, then I was fine with that. But then I had nothing to do, so I slipped down from the tree, landed perfectly on my feet, and stuffed my hands into my windbreaker's pockets.
"I'm going for a walk," I stated, not looking up at her but waiting for a response. When I didn't hear anything, I rolled my eyes and maneuvered my way to the park's main path, hoping that a stroll would help clear my mind.
The sun sat below the horizon when I got back, and I was still in a sour mood. The walk didn't help at all, especially since I ended up using alleyways where homeless people begged for change so I could avoid cameras and crowds. A man handed out an empty mug and all I could muster up was, "Me too." The reality settled in even more while I weaved my way back to our makeshift nest. I couldn't make things better for us, even when I bent over backwards. It was hopeless, and her reacting in a non-mature way wasn't helping. I ran my hand through my wind-swept hair, sighing.
Of course, she would act that way, she's a kid, but she's been a trooper all this time. I honestly thought we were on the same page. She's said some heart wrenching things to me and other stuff that aided in our numerous predicaments. She even consoled me when I was breaking down from all the stress I was feeling. Hell, she rescued me, saved me way too many times, all while being... seven? Eight? I couldn't remember, but she's young enough to not take on the responsibility. God, I'm an idiot. I'm not supposed to depend on her, but what else was I supposed to do? Keep it bottled up and never say a word? That didn't go well earlier, where it all just exploded in our faces. This walk was supposed to be that cheesy, soul-determining kind to find that perfect solution, but once I approached the oak, I felt more lost at what to do.
A guy on a bike sped past me before I jumped up high to reach the nearest branch. Grabbing it, I propped myself up into a somewhat-comfortable position, and bit back my tongue from saying I'd be taking first watch. She snored away in her far-off nook; her breaths short but loud enough for me to hear. My heart fell just slightly, but the pang of pride reminded me I was still mad at her. Whatever, I guess we'll have to solve this in the morning.
But in the morning, a new problem arose as I peeled my eyes open.
Speck was gone.