"How-" Maya walked towards Fang and I quickly retreated back a few feet. She analyzed his shoulder and stared at me wildly, "How did you do that?"
"I-" I stammered again. "I don't know, I just- I just can?" I scrambled to make up an explanation. "I don't even know how I got it… it- it started back in the cages and I saw Le- a kid badly hurt and- and as soon as I touched him he was fine and- I don't know why but then I felt drained and-"
"Amber," Speck squeezed my hand I spun to look at her, feeling myself jumping in reply.
I swallowed and closed my eyes, "I'm- I'm sorry-"
"No, don't be," Fang rolled his shoulder despite Maya's worried look. "It feels great." He gently smiled at me again and I blushed, again.
"Really?" Maya put her hand on the shoulder, tracing the pink line. "Even the blood is gone…"
"I told you," Speck pouted.
I couldn't help but smile at her determination to get me to help. Who would've thought I would be healing the renowned Fang like this? I tried to swallow away my nervousness again, but it still lingered like it wasn't ready to back down.
"N-Now," I looked between the two. "Where is my brother?"
Fang crossed his arms and briefly glanced at the ground, "I'm pretty positive he's with the flock. You know, you both look really alike, with the hair and the eyes."
My heart swelled at the confirmation. He was with the flock. James… he really was winged like me. And he looked like me. He was real. My brother. He was alive and well. But…
"Is it true that he's blind?" I stopped myself, not wanting to reveal how much I supposedly knew.
Fang subtly narrowed his eyes at me, "Yes. The whitecoats were trying to give him better night vision."
Of course, they did. A shiver ran through me. I bet they did that when they realized my fake parents weren't willing to hand me over, too. Once their contract was breached, both kids were affected. It was their fault he was blind, and the thought made my blood boil.
"Does he have a different name?" I stiffened, realizing I was prying too much. "Sorry, I- it's just that I chose my name. Well… kind of." It kind of felt weird that I managed to derive a name out of my numbers. I wondered if my brother did it too.
"Yeah, his name is Iggy," Fang admitted. "His birth name, or at least supposed birth name, was James."
My real parent's faces flashed in my mind and my heart swelled yet again. I was right. They were right. They were our real parents. James was real, and everything they said was true. Iggy. What a strange name. But knowing he didn't adopt his "real" name made me feel more comfortable with him already. And I haven't even met him yet.
"Thank you," I breathed. Speck leaned against me as if she was subtly giving me a hug. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
"I understand. Family means everything," he exchanged glances with Maya, who gave him a half smile in acknowledgement. She quickly dismissed it though, as if it wasn't genuine enough. The moment made me curious though. Did he see Iggy as family too? Did he see this "flock" as family? If so, why did he leave it? But I guess I didn't really need to know.
"So, where is he?" my expression filled with hope now that I knew more about him.
"Honestly? I'm not sure," Fang shrugged.
"What?" It felt like my heart stopped.
"Well, after Paris we-" Fang stopped. It looked like a cloud settled in his eyes.
"We split ways with them," Maya finished his sentence. She leaned just slightly towards him a caring gesture, and I tilted my head out of confusion. "Fang had a lead afterwards, in New York, and we followed it. The flock went off doing their own thing."
"And you didn't happen to ask where they were going?" my voice rose a bit.
"We didn't want to pry," Maya quickly explained. "Everybody was shaken up after what happened, even the gang, so it didn't seem important at the time."
"Important?" I clenched my fists. "I- You were supposed to be helping me!"
"You think we weren't?" Maya exclaimed. "We had to deal with the Doomsday Group first! They were going to kill everybody in that stadium. If we weren't there when we were, thousands of people would have died."
"What, and you just expect Speck and I to just let it be?" I growled. "We were affected by them too!"
"Really?" she frowned at us. "How bad? Did you fight against crazy brainwashing adults? Did you have to drag kids by their ankles before the entire place exploded? Did you have to dig through rubble to hopefully find survivors?"
I gaped, trying to formulate words and searching Speck's face for affirmation of what to say.
"Obviously you didn't. We faced a lot of stuff you wouldn't even dream of," she huffed. Fang stayed quiet, which I was no assuming to be usual, and didn't add anything.
I hung my head. Sure, we didn't go through all of that, but we went through something. Speck got brainwashed, nearly died, and is still recovering from the ordeal. I had to save her from those freaks, and I had to resuscitate her, and be there through all her trauma. Sure, we didn't have to face an impending doom like them, but we went through shit too.
I couldn't think of anything to say, so I remained quiet.
"Is the Doomsday Group really still out there?" Speck wondered out loud, worry clear in her voice. Her big eyes matched mine and my heart wrenched at the possibility.
"Yes," Fang finally stated. "But they have a new name now." He was clearly troubled by them, though his face didn't scream it. I wanted to know what they did, but even I didn't say what they did to Speck, so I didn't even try to ask.
"And they have weapons," Maya shot a glimpse at Fang's shoulder.
"So, what, you're still going after them?" I shook my head. "If they ran, let them. Let the police get them. Or the government."
"You think this doesn't reach up that high?" Maya scoffed at me.
I guess I never thought about it before. But it made sense. If ITex could get away with mutating kids under the radar, who knows what else is being overlooked.
"But why? Why face them? Why don't you let somebody else do it?" I knew I couldn't. The task was way too daunting. To take down an organization so big and ruthless, it was too much of a risk. Even if it was for the greater good.
"Nobody else will," Fang clarified.
"And nobody will listen unless it's from those directly affected," Maya added.
It did make sense. But still, to hear that Fang and others like us were fighting against those who made them like this made my head throb. How could they just bypass everything they've been through and fight? How could they fight and not shut down from the overwhelming fear they instilled in us? Maybe they were just built differently than Speck and I. Maybe it was the altered genetics that made them like this. Maybe I was fixed to not fight back.
As my heart sank lower and lower while recognizing the reality I was in, Speck jumped up and exclaimed, "I'll face them."
I whirled around, "No, you won't."
She set her jaw, her voice sounding more determined than coarse, "Yes I will. If I can't be a normal kid, then I'll fight until I'm treated like one."
I bore my eyes into her; her words settling on my ears. After everything she's faced, she wants to face the group that put her through the wringer. I would've thought that she would break down and submit to the life she had, but she wanted more. The facts were all in front of me. I softly smiled. Of course, she wanted more. She always did, and I couldn't blame her. She always wanted a family, go to school, and be like any average human. And now that she knows nothing was set in stone, she was going to set it herself. She wasn't that little kid in the cages anymore. She was more than that.
"You want to face a notorious group that is known for killing humans for the sake of their own messed up ideologies?" I squatted down to her level, so we were eye to eye. "You want to put yourself in the fray where you could possibly die for standing up against them? You want to risk everything to fight for a better world?"
She didn't even hesitate, "I do. I want to fight."
I searched her eyes again. They were full of determination and passion, the same look I saw when I first saw her when she pried open the van door in the canyon. The van that she crashed to save me. She was determined to help me, even though she was risking her life for it. There was no changing her mind on this.
"Okay," I sighed, standing and ruffling her hair. "Just, don't leave me hanging, alright?"
She batted my hand away, "I won't."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
I guess that was that then. I sighed, "We'll both help." I turned back to focus on Fang and Maya, knowing full well what I was going into wasn't going to be easy, especially for me. "But I'm still finding J- Iggy."
"Of course," Fang subtly nodded, and Maya let out a breath she was holding.
"If anything happens to her, we're gone," I declared much to Speck's disappointment.
Fang peered at me and nodded. Maya seemed to get antsier the more I watched her, but she agreed as well with a nod. Speck glimpsed up at me with hope full in her eyes. She smiled and I couldn't help but second guess my decision right then. Was this the right path? Was I setting her up to fail yet again? Would joining Fang's group really help me in my journey to find Iggy? Or was it all a waste? I had to go with it though, or Speck was going to hate me for the rest of my life.
"Let's fly," Fang opened his wings again, with more power behind them this time. His once bad wing stretched strong, and I couldn't help but gaze at it a little. I was able to fix that, with my own hands. The thought was kind of invigorating.
"You okay to fly?" Speck placed her backpack on her chest and began hooking our straps together.
"Oh- yeah," I flushed a little. I was still a little woozy, but I didn't want to admit it in front of Fang and Maya. Maya glimpsed our way as she rolled her shoulders. "Don't worry about it."
"I just don't want too much turbulence," she muttered to herself. I lightly scoffed and she flinched away before I could mess up her hair again.
"Down there," Fang pointed with his eyes.
I inwardly groaned and tried to follow his gaze but couldn't spot where he was talking about. Maya nodded and started angling down in big circles, Fang on her tail. Panting, I followed suit while Speck threw her arms out to copy my wings. I had to squint to see a small dot of a person standing behind the hotel we were headed towards.
"He looks peeved," Maya chuckled.
"He always is," Fang replied.
I frowned but didn't say anything.
Once we were in the air, I struggled to breathe. I had no idea they could fly that high of altitude, and when I began wheezing, we had to dip lower. Maya gritted her teeth a little, since it would take us longer to get there, but it was either this or me fainting mid-flight. I doubted they'd want to deal with that. Despite all that, I audibly huffed every so often.
On top of that, I felt even more like a freak than I ever did. Both kept pointing out things I couldn't see until we got closer to them. They were also not winded at all after our flight, and Speck mentioned that they flew much differently than I did. It had to be the mutations, what else could it be? They were more powerful and adept than I was; they were the super-bird-mutants and I was the third cousin once removed.
What made things weird though was Fang. He kept eyeing Speck and I and our makeshift carrier, but mostly at Speck. I assured him several times she was safe at the start of the flight, but he kept looking at her like she would fall any second. I had to slow down a little so he would stop staring.
As Fang and Maya touched down, I continued circling a little to get a better analysis of this new person. He had dark skin, a bulky jacket, and red shades. He seemed tense as he talked to Fang and Maya about being late, so I landed a couple feet away from him. My skin tingled as he shoved his hands into his pockets and spun to stare at me. I grabbed Speck's wrist and stared back, ready for him to pull out a gun to shoot.
"Whoa- hey he's with us," Maya quickly said. I didn't even realize my wings were still open and my other hand was in a fist. My heart was still going a million beats per minute. "This is Ratchet."
I tried to peer behind his sunglasses, but he tilted his head a little such that the nearby streetlamp reflected off them. Why the heck would he wear sunglasses at night? I frowned and pulled Speck closer to me. She didn't fight back, thankfully, but wrenched her wrist out of my grip. I tried to calm myself. I was doing this for her. And me, partially, mostly to find Iggy, but this was something I wasn't used to. Grouping up with complete strangers was not my cup of tea, and it didn't help that this guy looked sketchy as hell.
"This is Amber, and Speck," Fang introduced us. Ratchet looked us up and down.
"So, you're the killer," he huffed.
My heart skipped a beat as my eyes widened.
"Hey- you don't know that," Maya declared.
"Then what's with the blood stains?" he asked, mentioning my pants. "And I know a chokehold bruise when I see one." Speck put her hand to her neck, and I stepped in front of her.
"Lay off, Ratch," Fang nudged him. Ratchet leaned away as he did so, as if he didn't like to be touched. "They're cool."
"Sure, but you still didn't explain why you're late," he gruffly said. I noticed a pair of large headphones hanging around his neck and rose an eyebrow. Why would he need those?
"I already told you, Amber can't fly as high as us," Maya pursed her lips.
"So? Fly faster then," he scoffed as he opened the door.
Maya stepped in and Fang followed before pausing in the doorway. He turned around and looked at me still standing several feet away.
"You coming?" Fang queried. Ratchet moved to put his headphones on.
I eyed Ratchet again. He didn't seem that dangerous, but his attitude was making me want to punch him. Plus, how did he recognize the bruise on Speck's neck? Did he do that to other people? Where has he seen a bruise like that before? And calling me a killer – how did he know? Was it he jeans? Or did he know something I didn't? My skin shivered at the thought. What if he's one of them?
"Ratchet's cool, really," Fang defended him.
I still didn't dare to move. What if he was a spy? A mole? What if this is all set up?
"I like your headphones," Speck said, walking forward. I reached out to stop her, but she was out of reach. I skipped a little to catch up to her. "Are they noise-canceling?"
Ratchet turned towards her and eyed her up and down, "Is it obvious?" He placed one hand to them to adjust. How the heck could he hear us if they were noise canceling? I wildly stared at him, wondering what he was hiding underneath those things. Did he have ears like me? My heart fluttered a little at the possibility.
"I recognized the brand," Speck admitted, stopping in front of him. I quickly caught up and stood behind her, ready to grab her and take off. "How can you hear us with them on?"
"A certain scientist enhanced my ears," he looked down at her, causing his glasses to fall a little to show his green eyes. "You could whisper and I'd still hear you."
"Cool," Speck breathed, and I quickly ushered her into the building. Great, now we've got a Peeping Tom to deal with whenever we wanted some alone time. And what did he mean "enhanced his ears"? Did he have animal ears like me? Or were they just enhanced in the human way?
Fang waited at the base of the stairs and Maya was nowhere to be seen. Once Ratchet closed the door behind us, I jumped, as the sound reverberated throughout the empty stairwell. I quickly looked up and around, trying to survey for other exits but only saw the one we just entered from. I gulped and Speck moved to hold my hand.
"Maya's up in the room, and Kate said she'd order pizza," Fang said. He took a step and the sound echoed throughout the stairwell, making my hair stand on end. As we followed, the sounds of our feet were all I heard despite Fang asking Speck and I what kind of pizza we wanted. I stared at each concrete stair, my vision beginning to blur and narrow in at a single point. I occasionally saw Speck's hand swing in front of me and felt her hand grip my finger at one point. My heart was beating so hard I thought it would burst the more we climbed. It sat next to our booming footsteps, muffling anything else. I didn't hear Speck answer Fang's question, nor did I hear her offer of having an entire pizza to herself. I also didn't notice the fourth floor's door open until we stepped into the long, lush hallway.
I blinked and glanced around, trying to understand where we were. Fang continued walking to the room with Ratchet in tow, but their figures were blurry. Speck nearly followed until she noticed I had stopped. "Amber?" she asked, though she seemed far away. I felt her hand move to mine, but my skin tingled like static. I looked at her, but she was also fuzzy around the edges. I squeezed my eyes shut and blinked harder to focus.
"You alright?" I heard Fang say.
"I'm fine," I mustered out, though it sounded slurred.
"You sure?"
I peered towards him, seeing more distinct features now. I nodded, but instantly regretted it, as the fuzziness came rushing back in. I lost my balance quickly, and Speck moved to steady me. Fang started walking back towards us, but Speck held out her hand, telling him to wait though I couldn't hear well. Everything was dampened as they talked back and forth until I couldn't hear Fang's tone anymore.
"Amber, Ams, try sitting down," she spoke clearly. I blinked again, feeling her breath on my ear. My vision was still blurry, but I abided to her words and slid down the wall to a crouching position. My heart continued to thud loudly, and I began shaking. She said something again, but she was cutting out. Everything was a blur now, and my ears were beating hard like my heart, and my chest began hurting like I was having an asthma attack. But they weren't like this. They were never like this.
What's happening? What's going on? This never happened to me. There had to be an explanation to this. I just had to calm down. Just breathe, come on. But I couldn't. It was like something was in my system and eating away at everything. Oh god. Am I dying? But how? How could I? Is there something in the air? Did Ratchet do something? Did Fang do something? Is it the bullet? Has the bullet finally taken a toll on me? It had to, what other explanation was there?
"Amber. Amber, you're okay. Just breathe."
No, I can't! I can't!
"You're okay, breathe."
But I can't!
"Breathe, I'm here."
I can't!
"I'm here."
Speck?
I finally opened my eyes to see my stained socks and tattered shoes. The slight scent of dried blood reached my nose and I blinked, the fuzziness in my vision still eating away at the edges. I barely registered Speck's soothing touch against my hand, but I could clearly hear my haggard breathing. I blinked again and noticed the intricate carpet below me along with my hair hanging in front of me. I flexed my neck, feeling it pull and my muscles ache like I was crouching forward. I was crouching. My head was between my knees, my arms wrapped around my legs, and I was sitting in the middle of the hotel's fourth-floor hallway.
"You're okay, I'm here," Speck said more audibly this time.
"Spe- Speck?" I breathed, though it sounded more like a whisper to me.
"Amber," she sighed with relief. I felt her lean against me, and I flinched a little, causing her to lean away from me. My heartrate picked up again and I closed my eyes. "Sorry! Sorry, breathe, I'm sorry. You're okay. Breathe," she returned to brushing her fingers against my hand.
I did what she said and continued to breathe. My breaths were short at first, but the more I focused on them and kept my eyes closed, the longer they got and the more I could hear around me. I could hear Speck's breathing, a door closing, people talking, the lights buzzing, the distant elevator. Soon I could hear everything again.
I blinked once more and tried to lift my head, but it felt heavy. The movement made my skin tremble and I froze, fearing the feeling would come back again.
"You're okay, you're safe," Speck said again. I strained my eyes to look at her. She smiled a little and reached out her hand. "Can I?" I slowly nodded and she laced her fingers with mine. I gently brushed my thumb against her small calluses and ridges in her palm, tracing the lines and still breathing shakily.
"Hey," I familiar voice said.
I tilted my head up a little, fearing for the inevitable, but thankfully the fuzziness didn't return. Fang stood a couple feet away from me with concern in his eyes. That much emotion on his face seemed weird, so I had to blink a couple times to make sure I was still seeing clearly.
"How are you feeling?" Fang's tone was calm and rooted in worry. He didn't move towards me at all, thankfully, because if he did, I was sure I would be back in that hell-space.
I moved my other hand to my eye and rubbed, a dull pain starting to grow behind it. "I'm… okay," I muttered. I blinked again, seeing spots and rubbing my temple. "Just… a headache."
He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Speck, who shrugged a little.
"Well, if you're still hungry, we still have some pizza left," he jutted his thumb behind him. "Or at least I think so."
"Ams?" Speck's sweet voice reached me.
I gently squeezed her hand and looked at her. The worry in her eyes made me want to embrace her and tell her I was perfectly okay, but I knew I wasn't. What the hell was that? Will it happen again? When will it happen again?
"I'm… not that hungry anymore… actually, I think I should sleep," I admitted while my face reddened. God, it made me feel sick to show how weak I felt, but if I had to meet everybody else tonight, I don't think Speck would be able to bring me back. Whatever that was, I did not want to feel that again. By any means.
"You sure?" Speck's stomach rumbled a bit and I gently smiled. I carefully moved to ruffle her hair. She didn't move away.
"Yeah, you get some pizza, alright? I know you're starving," my stomach twisted at the thought of eating something. And that never happened. I was always hungry to some degree.
"Okay, I'll save you some," she moved to stand. "Do you want to stand?"
"Yeah," I grunted, trying to push away any lingering blurriness. My body shook as I moved my legs to stand, and Speck braced me as I pushed against the wall to help myself up. Once I was, I had to pause to get my bearings. The world swayed, and I stepped into Speck.
"Sorry," I muttered, trying to blink away the wobbliness.
"You're okay," Speck replied, though she clearly was having trouble against me.
"Let me help," Fang held out a hand and I froze, staring at him. He was still blurry, and to think I would trust him that quickly was impossible. He narrowed his brow when I didn't accept his help. "Do you really think she could catch you if you fell?"
Maybe not, but that doesn't mean I need your help.
He frowned and I closed my mouth. That wasn't in my head at all. My cheeks warmed.
"Just… just tell me where the room is," I mustered out.
"413," he said. "Everybody else is in 411, next door."
I hesitantly nodded and placed my hand on the wall, leaning on it as I started walking. But the more I tried, and the more Speck kept inches away from me, the more the hallway cantered. My leg gave way a little and an unfamiliar hand braced my shoulder.
"Don't touch me," I growled to Fang.
"Fine," he replied, backing off.
I slowly dragged my way down the hall, my shoulder and arm hugging the wall the entire time. The more I moved, the more the headache spread; I desperately needed to lay down. I closed my eyes, trying to push it away, but it kept swinging back around. Once 413's door opened, my pounding head muffled Fang's words regarding bed ownership so fanI flopped onto the nearest flat thing. It felt rough and I knocked my ankles against it, so it must have been a couch of some sort. I barely heard Speck saying something, but the achiness drowned it out. I covered my head with my arms and tried to ignore it. But the more I ignored it, the more my mind drifted and my hearing slowly returned. The last thing I heard before sleep enveloped was Speck chewing on her pizza.