…

…

A buzzer lightly sounds out, followed by a mechanical male voice. The noise of a pan being moved on a countertop soon floats to my ears, followed by another buzzer.

"So close. Try again!"

"Look for the—Square!"

A bell chimes multiple times before I come to my senses enough to reach out and probe with the Force.

Oh. I must have overslept my nap with Mira.

She's playing with the Christmas present I got her.

The light here in the living room isn't on though. That's odd.

Multi-colored lights barely pierce my eyelids before I barely shift my position here on the couch.

The buzzer on Mira's toy goes off again, followed by her making a noise of irritation. Ghost lets out a breath before I hear plastic strike with plastic and the bell to ring a couple of more times.

She's learning.

"Grab the—Red circle!"

Chimes sound out a moment later, followed by a pleased noise coming from Mira along with clapping.

"Good job! That was the—Red circle!"

"Now can you—Play the piano?"

Right away, multiple keys get smashed down, making a truly awful noise before footsteps rush over and the volume decreases rapidly.

"Shhh…" Her Mom whispers. "You'll wake Ezra up. Keep playing though! Good job!"

Mira makes a content noise before I feel Hera show Mira her affection then return behind me.

To the kitchen. She must be starting Christmas dinner.

She was making a nice roast. Potatoes, vegetables, whatever Kanan found at the market yesterday, rolls and a pie she was starting on.

Before Mira got cranky and demanded that it was nap time.

Okay Ezra…

Time to open your eyes.

Taking more effort than I'd like, I force my eyes open, revealing the dimly lit living room, indeed lit only by the Christmas tree.

"Can you hit the—Blue Star?"

I turn over on my side in time to see Mira sitting beside Ghost, reach out and hit the blue star on top of her toy. Right away, the toy starts chiming, indicating that she got it right.

"Good job!"

"Now try the—Purple square?"

Mira stares at the toy for a moment, then taps a couple of keys on the piano, only for the toy's buzzer to go off.

"That's not correct."

"Can you find the—Purple square?"

Oh hey, my phone's on the coffee table.

I had it with me as I tried putting Mira down for her nap. Last thing I remember was doing some more reading on 'Mandalore the Binder'.

Believed to be born of non-Mandalorian heritage, to parents who were rug merchants. He rose to power and Mandalorian status. His ascent to the title of Mand'alor is viewed to the Jedi as an important cultural moment.

The first documented time a non-Mandalorian by birth was recorded to rise to become Mand'alor.

Mira's toy continues talking to her as I pull my phone off the coffee table to me. It promptly lights up once I roll back over onto my back.

Whoa.

"Instagram: DatBoyTrey and 104 others liked your recent photo"

"Instagram: jaiceyyy and 56 others commented on your most recent photo"

What recent photo?

I swipe up on my phone, only for it to ask me for my passcode.

0429. Even though it's really 0427.

But only I know that. And Cayle, Kanan, Hera, Elias and my father.

I haven't posted a photo on IG since the last Christmas party. A whole bunch of us stopped making s'mores by the fire for a moment and took the picture.

Tapping my screen a few times, my app pops up and I quickly navigate to my profile.

Let's see—Oh.

There is a new picture.

I tap one more time, loading up the picture, which turns out to be a slideshow from earlier this morning.

Opening presents.

Jacen opening the box for his new soccer goal and ball. Mira pulling on the paper for her new mobile. Cayle helping her pull off the paper. Jacen and I looking at the back of a Lego set Santa got for him. Jacen ripping open the box for his new RC car Cayle bought against Kanan's wishes. Ghost and Mira eying something on the Christmas tree.

Ahh.

The last picture is Jacen and Mira's gift to me, an electronic picture frame, with me hugging both of them.

It was a great gift. They also got me a card to use for lunch at the Underground too.

Underneath the picture it shows the number of likes the picture has gotten, along with selected comments.

"Liked by sabinewren5, mattsaracen and 103 others"

"sabinewren5: yeahhhh!"

Beside Sabine's comment is a soccer ball emoji and a Christmas present emoji.

"mattsaracen: HUGS!"

Below Matt's comment is another one.

"jaiceyyy: BIG HUGS!"

I smile at my phone, then impulsively tap on Sabine's profile.

Well. She's alive I guess.

Still hasn't texted me back after I told her that I was okay.

Probably enjoying her time with her family. Super busy, last minute Christmas shopping and the like.

Oh. She's posted a new photo.

I tap on it, revealing a slideshow of picture just like mine was.

Ahh. Pictures of her family.

"Merry Christmas from the Wren House!"

"Liked by mattsaracen,jaiceyyy and 492 others"

She's popular.

I tap twice on the first photo, a group shot of her, her Mom and Dad and who must be her brother.

Swipe.

Another one.

Swipe.

Sabine and Tristan.

Swipe.

—

Wait a sec…

…

I swipe a few more times, and notice the same detail before I swipe all the way back to the beginning.

Yeah…what the hell.

Swiping back to the photo of just Sabine, sitting on what looks like a porch. Wearing a sort of low cut red shirt, dark jeans, hair tucked back behind her ear. Beautiful smile, as always.

And the necklace that I bought her around her neck.

…

I don't get it.

Mira's toy makes more noise as I stare at Sabine's picture.

"Try again!"

I…I do not understand.

Maybe it's not me.

But it has to be something I did. I gave her the necklace as a present.

It looks great on her.

But she ran off the plane.

"Try again!"

Frustration flares up inside of me before I slip my phone into my pocket and move into a seated position, garnering the attention of Ghost, who gets to his feet and trots over.

"Hey Ghost." I smile before scratching him behind the ears. "You and Mira having fun with her new toys?"

"Good job! That was the—Green snake!"

Mira pleasantly babbles before Ghost peers over, then back at me.

"Go sit back down. I'm going to go help with dinner." I tell him, then push off the couch and stand before turning towards the kitchen.

Oh. Ahsoka's here.

Hera and Ahsoka continue their quiet conversation, wine glasses in front of them while Hera is preparing something.

"Well look who has risen from the dead." Hera smirks, prompting Ahsoka to turn and smile at my appearance.

"Hey Ezra. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Master." I return her smile before walking past the both of them and into the kitchen proper. "What'd I miss?"

Hera replies "Not much. How was your nap?"

"Too long."

"You must have needed the rest." Ahsoka reasons. "Hera said you were up before the kids this morning."

Did some training and some meditating in the backyard.

Until it got broken by Jacen crashing into me, saying 'it's Christmas!' over and over again.

In his defense he was excited.

"Eh." I shrug. "When'd Mira wake up?"

"She was up a couple of times." Hera answers. "Once she wriggled around a bit, then curled back up for another 45 minutes. Then about 30 minutes ago she was up for good. I grabbed her before she could smush your face again."

She did that a couple of days ago when we did naptime together. Woke me up by smushing my face.

Mom and Dad saw it and didn't like it.

Wasn't too bad. I woke up to my nose being crushed but a gooey, loving smile. She just wants to play and love and have fun. That's all. Doesn't mean anything by it.

Mira's toy goes off again, followed by her smashing the piano keys. Ahsoka laughs, then turns to her Mom. "Can we turn the volume back up?"

"A little bit. Not all the way. That thing's loud." Hera reasons before turning to me. "Feel free to grab some wine dear. Would you mind helping me?"

"Of course not, with what?" I smile.

"Shucking the corn, peeling potatoes, washing the salad."

I smile again before pulling open the fridge. "Yeah, now?"

"Maybe a minute or two."

So now.

I pull out the open wine bottle and set it on the kitchen island, followed by the husks of corn in the crisper.

"Corn first?" I ask.

"Yes please. We can soak that in water while you prepare the rest." Hera explains.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

As I'm moving for a wine glass, Ahsoka returns. "Oh, Ezra, can you refill mine?"

"Sure."

This is kind of odd. But okay!

Walking over with the bottle, I refill Ahsoka's glass a touch over halfway before returning to my own and beginning to fill it.

"Thank you Ezra."

"You're welcome." I smile, filling my own glass just under halfway before setting it to the side and moving to grab the corn.

Oh. Kanan grabbed the legit corn from the grocery store. I'll have to shuck it.

That's why Hera wanted that done first.

I need a cutting board, a bag for all the trash and a paper towel.

Hera and Ahsoka's conversation continues as I silently start my designated task, grabbing first the paper towels, then a bag for trash then finally a wooden cutting board.

Alright Ezra. You remember how to do this—

(Flashback)

"Okay honey." Mom says gently, making her way over to me as I stand on my stepstool here in the kitchen. "First step to husking corn is to separate the husk at the top.

"The husk?"

Mom gives me a smile before nodding. "Yes dear, the husk. Pull the peeling part all the way back. It's okay if all of it doesn't come off the first time. Just pull off what naturally comes off."

I do as Mom has asked me to do as she returns to her preparation of the lamb chops for dinner tonight.

"Oh." Mom laughs, a minute or two later. I didn't mean all of them dear."

Uh oh.

I look at the husks of corn in front of me, all of which I've pulled the tops off of, but nothing more.

As she told me to.

"I'm sorry." I apologize.

"It's fine." Mom replies warmly. "It'll work. Go ahead and pull off the rest of the husks. Then break them off at the bottom and throw the husks into the trash."

Mom returns to her seasoning before she says. "Your father will just have to have some extra corn tonight."

I did mess up.

"I can have some extra corn too." I volunteer. "I messed it up. I like corn."

I should have just done as she told me to, instead of doing too much.

My fault.

"How are we in here?" I hear Dad call out from the direction of his office.

Coming this way.

"Good." Mom replies without looking up. "Ezra's helping me with dinner. Will Elias be home soon?"

"Laufey's bringing him by. He had a lesson after school."

"What about?" Mom inquires, just as Dad walks into the room.

Bad question.

Dad's face flashes to me, and I hurriedly turn back to my corn and continued my husking. "Geopolitical futures and the vulnerability of information networks. Is that all the corn?"

Uh oh.

"I bought more at the store than we needed. I was thinking of making steaks this weekend." Dad says, stalking over to me and indeed seeing that I've started husking all the corn. "What the hell?"

"It was an accident dear."

"Sorry." I mumble, keeping my eyes on my corn.

I shouldn't have done that.

"Accident or not, he's wasted a full night's worth of vegetables. I worked damn hard to earn those Ezra. And there you go, off in spaceland doing whatever it is you want!" Dad rants as I feel the air around me constrict.

I'm sorry.

My fault. My fault. I'll focus more. I'm sorry.

Mom's voice vaguely floats to my ears as Dad glares down at me before he grabs me by the arm and spins me towards him.

"I hope you want corn for dinner, son. Because you won't be getting anything else unless you eat what we can't." Dad domineers over me. "No lamb, no potatoes, no dessert. No TV after dinner! You eat! You do your homework! You go to bed! Is that understood?"

"Yes Dad." I reply as my Dad glares right thru me.

Fury in his eyes.

"Yes what?" His jaw tenses.

I messed up again.

"Yes sir."

Dad's face barely loosens up before he crosses his arms again. "I don't know what's going on in that damn head of yours. Whatever it is needs to stop. Alright? Listen to your mother! FOCUS!"

Pain rockets thru my toes as Dad pointedly trods on my feet before exiting the kitchen, leaving a tense and anxious silence in his wake.

(End Flashback)

I set the first perfectly clean husk of corn aside then move onto the next one.

At least I was the one who got yelled at. Not Elias.

It didn't happen often, but when it did, he often got it even worse than I did.

Granted, my tongue lashing eventually turned into literal lashings.

Because I 'didn't listen'. 'Didn't want to'. 'Only cared about myself'.

Lies. All lies.

Dad just wanted to control me. To mold me into nothing other than a raging ball of anger and hate. And he used his own vitriol in order to do it.

Mistakes are okay. They're human. Everybody is allowed to make mistakes.

It isn't the end of the world if you husk five dollars extra of corn on accident just because that's what you thought you were supposed to do.

It's alright.

…

Breathe Ezra.

Sip your drink. Relax.

Reflexively, I roll my shoulders while setting down the next husk of corn and sip my wine before letting out a breath.

Think of something else. Where Jacen is.

I turn back towards Hera and Ahsoka, who are still talking before I see than Cayle and Jacen are outside, using lightsabers.

Hmm. That's…interesting. Jacen's got Cayle's shoto. On its training mode obviously.

Master Dooku's training droid hovers in the background as silently, beyond the glass Cayle is showing Jacen something about how to block a blaster bolt.

As I look on, Cayle makes the same movement with his feet three times, then turns back to Jacen and says something before Jacen nods in understanding.

You block bolts with your footwork. You can get to everything if you move your feet and square it up.

And it's a lot easier to square yourself up if your feet are in the correct position.

Alright Ezra. Back to work.

(Flashback)

I walk back into the game room only to find Elias sitting on the beanbag lazily, one leg draped on top of his knee while firing away at zombies.

I haven't gotten to play my Christmas present all day.

I really wanted the new NBA game. And despite the fact that Dad said I wouldn't be getting it, I found it underneath the Christmas tree.

Lucky me.

"How's it going?" I ask Elias.

Elias doesn't look away from the TV screen as he reloads his weapon and continues firing away. "Fine. I'm not done playing."

"You've been playing all day."

You started at eight this morning. It's four in the afternoon now. It's about to be dinner time.

I want to play my game at least a little before Dad makes me have to go help Mom with dinner!

He knows that Dad won't ask him to do it. Always me.

He thinks that if he waits me out long enough, I won't have any time. So I won't ask.

"Yeah.".

That's not fair.

"Yeah?" I repeat after him.

Elias doesn't turn back to me. "So?"

"So? I'd like to play my game at least a little before I have to go help Mom with dinner."

C'mon!

"Then go help Mom with dinner."

"Hey!" I protest.

Elias mockingly pitches his voice up. "Hey!"

"It's not fair!" I demand.

"It's not fair!"

"Elias! Let me play!"

"No! I'm playing!"

"You've been playing all day!"

"So? Go find something else girly to do. You girl." He taunts me.

"I'm not a girl!"

"Yeah you are! You help Mom cook. You help Mom clean. You help your girl friends at school. You're always so nice and polite. You're dumb! Go do something dumb!"

!

Before I realize it, I've tackled Elias out of hisbeanbag and am swinging on him.

"Take it back!"

"No! Stupid!"

"Moron!"

"Dummy!"

We roll around on the ground for a minute before I start trying to punch him before Elias nails me in the ribs with a kick.

"OWW!"

"Shut up!" He hisses, tossing me aside before getting to his feet. "You're going to get us into trouble!"

OH I'LL SHOW YOU TROUBLE!

Blindly I sprint right at Elias and move to hit him. But just before I reach there I—

WHOA!

—WHACK—

Something aggressively collides with the back of my head, instantly resulting in crippling pain before I start to curl up into a ball.

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!

"What'd you—?" I cry out just before all the air gets forcibly yanked out of my lungs. Next thing I know, I gasp for air before I'm lifted into the air.

OH NO.

I turn to my right, only to see Dad, both arms extended, looking livid while holding both Elias and I off the ground.

"What. In the HELL. Is going on in here?"

"Ezra hit me!" Elias whines.

With the acting job.

"I—" I start to defend myself before Dad pinches his fingers, closing off my windpipe.

I make a choking noise while trying to loosen up the collar of my t-shirt before Dad turns to Elias. "I was just up here. Everything was fine! I go to my office for five seconds. FIVE SECONDS and you two are swinging on each other! It's Christmas!"

Dad just drops me down next to the DVD case, which my head collided with before he turns to Elias. "I thought I told you to share the system with your brother here in a few minutes."

"You did! But Ezra came in and—" Elias starts before his face crumples, looking extremely upset while tears start forming in his eyes.

OH HERE WE GO…

I roll my eyes and try to catch my breath as Elias gives Dad his sob story. Two or three breaths in however, I get grabbed and lifted up again.

"So you just decided to come in here and start swinging on your brother. Huh? So you could get what you want? Is that it?"

"I—"

"SHUT UP!" Dad roars before pulling me close enough to—

My face snaps to the right as Dad slaps me with the back of his hand before he roughly drops me again and looms over me.

"You're disgraceful. Can't even behave yourself on Christmas." Dad spits out. "I can't believe that I let your mother talk me into getting that stupid little game for you. That's what you wanted to play, wasn't it?"

"No—" I sob out before Dad slaps me again.

"Don't lie to me!" He roars. "Don't even try! I can feel when you're lying!"

"I—"

"I'm returning that stupid game in the morning." Dad says before reaching next to the TV and scooping up the game case. "You don't deserve it. You deserved a stocking full of coal this year for all the shit you pulled."

I try to say something to defend myself, only for an unintelligible noise to come out of my mouth.

"You're grounded. Until I say you're not." Dad declares. "Now get your damn ass to your room and don't come out until I say so. Or I'll make this the worst Christmas of your life—c'mere!" Dad orders me before grabbing me by the sleeve of my shirt.

He pulls me all the way thru the house, to my lonely, isolated room and throws me bodily inside before slamming my door so hard it rattles the—

Huh?

Feeling a tugging sensation near my thigh, I look away from the corn and see that Mira's peering up at me, holding onto my leg.

"Hey…" I smile, then crouch down and scoop her up. "What are you doing in here?" Ghost, who was beside Mira, trots over to Hera.

Mira babbles out a happy sound, then bangs her hand lovingly on my collarbone.

"Did you have a good nap? You're not as cranky as you were before."

Mira makes another pleased sound before peering up at me. Quickly, her face falls and she makes a whining noise.

What's wrong?

"Hey." I frown at her. "What's wrong?"

Mira's expression continues to fall deeper into a frown before she reaches out and forcibly grabs me, followed by her making a sad sound.

"Mira…" I say quietly, feeling Ahsoka and Hera's eyes on me. "What's wrong?"

"We okay over there?" Ahsoka asks as Hera walks over.

Silently, Hera takes Mira from me. Mira meanwhile doesn't take her eyes off me and makes another whining noise.

Mira…Baby what's upsetting you?

"Yeah." I nod. "I don't know what upset her so much."

Ghost huffs out a heavy breath before Hera takes her eyes off Mira and turns to me.

"You okay dear?"

"Yeah." I smile. "Fine. Corn's almost ready."

Both Hera and Ahsoka's eyes linger on me for just a moment before Mira curls up in her Mom's arms and motions with her arm at the stove.

"That's dinner. I'm getting it ready." Hera tells Mira, before I turn back to my corn.

All perfectly ready.

I need to move on to whatever is next.

Potatoes.

I need to wash off and peel the potatoes for dinner tonight.