(A/N: A rare trigger warning off the top of the chapter. Mental health is an issue that's stigmatized and ridiculed in every day society when in reality it's vital to true health. If any of you reading this are feeling down, I urge you to talk to somebody. Family, a friend, or even a professional whose job it is to help you through the tough times. Violence isn't then answer, only a solution to a temporary problem. If depictions of intense violence, or suicide are too difficult for you to read I would stop here. I did my best to approach the subject delicately and with care. Won't hurt my feelings one bit if you skip this one. I'll throw hints to the events in later chapters because well...it's unavoidable.

Now…after that lengthy preamble…I hope you enjoy the chapter.)

"My feet hurt." Sabine complains once we're down the steps and walking onto the sidewalk in front of us.

"Mine too."

Makes sense. New dance shoes, couldn't break them in. Two and a half hours in and—

"It's the sides this time. Usually with soccer it's the bottom of my feet. Just the pounding…" Sabine winces as she walks. "Is it the same for you?"

I nod. "Wish I'd thought to break them in a little bit."

"Well they should be broken in now." Sabine's tone darkens.

Lighten the mood.

"Looked good though. I thought it went okay." I turn and give Sabine a smile.

"Me too!" Sabine lights up. "I think you looked good too. Guys always look good in plain white t-shirts."

The Underground is just this way.

"Jump, turn, travel, gesture and stillness." Sabine adds in a monotone which gets me to break out into a smile.

"She's strict."

Sabine nods. "I wouldn't mind it so much if she didn't bark at us all the time."

"Every point. Has to be STRONG!" I mockingly raise my voice, eliciting instant giggles from Sabine before she leans into my arm. Reflexively I loop my arm around her.

"She liked your stillness though."

"Came right up into my face."

Got about three inches away from my face, looked me up and down only to smile and compliment me in front of the entire class.

Sabine gives off a smile that comes off almost as a wince. "She likes you."

"Likes looking at me maybe." I shrug. "She barked at me like everyone else."

"Ezra…gross." Sabine looks disgusted.

"What? You saw how she looked at me."

"Yeah that was…cougar-y." She concedes.

Turning back to her I ask "Was it as awkward for you as it was for me?"

"More to me. I—oh!" Sabine suddenly straightens up, looking down the lawn we're walking down.

A few of the buildings cross paths on this lawn.

"That's Matt…who is the girl?"

"I don't know." I shrug.

Sabine keeps filling in the gaps. "She's cute."

Petite. Thin frame.

"Probably a girl from his last class."

"You helped him build his schedule. What class was it?"

"I don't know." I partially lie.

Looks like they're coming out of Taper Hall, so probably a Humanities lecture. It's one of the bigger auditoriums.

"He likes her…" Sabine continues gushing.

"How would you know?" I turn back to her.

Talk about an assumption!

"Look at them!" Sabine gestures at the pair, walking about fifty feet in front of us, completely oblivious. "I'm happy for Matt, his last girlfriend was apparently a piece of work."

"Really?"

Sabine nods. "Heard about it during Bridge Camp. He only dated her for prom season really, but broke up with her because she was crazy. And liked biting him during sex."

Biting?

"Oh. And you just happen to know this."

Sabine turns and gives me a wide smile. "One of his friends snuck in a bottle of vodka. We all got drunk off it. He got to talking. Called her 'The Hyena'."

"Anything happen?" I throw out casually.

In a flash, Sabine's glaring up at me. "No. That…hurts."

"Gotta ask." I defend myself.

Hurt flashes onto Sabine's face. "Hey. I've been honest with you about all that. I'm…not proud of it. And they all came up short in all categories."

"Do you know all of them?"

"I…yes. I wasn't that drunk for all of them."

But you were drunk.

"—just horny really. And trying to move on from Brett. I'm sure you've heard the best way to get over someone?"

"No." I shake my head.

"Best way is to get under somebody else." Sabine answers while taking a turn into the back end of the Underground. "Even though usually I was on top for—"

No. NO. No.

"I…we're good." I raise my hand as we start descending the stairs.

"What? I'm comfortable with you knowing that."

I counter. "I'm not. I don't need to know what you do behind closed doors."

Can't be anything worse than what I've imagined.

Pulling open the door, I spot Sabine giving me a brief look from the side before leading the way into the Underground. "Are…your bosses usually this prude about that sort of thing?"

"They're practical, not prude. Things happen, they know." I say, then smile at her. "Like I told you."

"So it's just you that's prude."

I don't respond to Sabine' comment, instead continuing to walk through the corridor before we take the bend and watch it open up into the back of the seating area for the dining portion of the Underground.

"You'll feel better after you get laid. I won't judge you."

I don't believe you. Women are women.

"I'm not buying that." I smirk as I continue scanning.

"Which part?"

"Judging." I answer, then spot a booth with a table in the middle and two chairs on the other side.

Perfect. You can seat five there.

"I won't judge! I promise I won't judge. It just can't be one of my teammates." She stipulates. "Or softball."

"Anybody else?" I jokingly smile at her.

Didn't know I had a permission structure.

"Go get a sorority girl. There's tons of hot sorority girls."

"I—" I begin hotly. Then drop my backpack heavily and turn back to her. "Maybe I'm not looking for hot."

Sabine makes a face at me in response. "Then what are you looking for? A welcome sign? When's the last time you got laid?"

"Right after the whole Christmas plane thing." I roll my eyes and turn—

Oh shit.

My phone lands on the table after my nonchalant toss. "I—I didn't say that." I quickly inform her as Sabine looks shocked. "Sabine. You didn't hear that."

"After I ran away from you?" She puts the pieces together. "I—you never said, OH! The mission…"

"I never said that." I say, more to myself than anything.

Damn you Sabine.

"What happened?"

"I can't tell you that." I reply.

"Ezra." Sabine protests.

I frown and try to avoid her eye. "I really can't. I had a job to do. And I did it."

"I'll say you did." Sabine says, her tone pointed. "Did it have a name?"

Leah.

"I can't tell you mission details." I remind her. "It's classified intel."

"So she was the mission!" Sabine deduces. "Was that the whole mission?"

"No!" I counter hotly. "I was hoping I didn't have to resort to that. But I did in order to do my job. Which I did."

"Did you do it well? What'd she think?"

"She had no complaints."

They never do.

Sabine suddenly gives me a devious smirk, raised eyebrows and all. "Okay Ezra…"

"What's with you today? We're just riding the third rail."

Usually with friends sex is pretty off limits.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Same as always. Riding huh?"

She's…in the mood.

"Do I have to call it out?"

Sabine crosses her arms and gives me another smirk. "You won't."

"You're horny today."

"Always." Sabine replies like it's obvious. "I'm an athlete, I'm Mandalorian, I'm always ready for a tumble."

"Mando—I, I don't want to know." I sputter out.

NOPE!

I don't want to know.

"I'll enlighten you if your class doesn't cover it." She quips. "Are you getting embarrassed?"

Yes.

"No."

Sabine giggles while poking me in the chest. "Ezra's embarrassed about—"

Oh thank god there's Matt.

With Jaicey and JJ.

Ignoring Sabine, I wave in their direction, only for JJ to spot me and say something, redirecting them all my way.

"Saved by the bell." Sabine tries to get in the final word.

"I heard no bell."

"Why are you matching?" Matt asks as their group approaches.

Sabine shrugs when I look to her, and I go along with it by looking back to Matt. "Dance class." Jaicey rats us out.

"Dance—" JJ makes a face before Matt busts out laughing.

"Not funny." Sabine frowns in his direction while crossing her arms is displeasure.

That's not a good look he's getting.

"—a—a dance class?" Matt breathes out again before losing himself to laughter.

"It's for the Core." Sabine's look morphs into a scowl. "Jackass."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Matt breathes while getting progressively redder in the face. "You're taking this—together?"

He continues to laugh but tries his best to stop before I feel Sabine's irritation spike beside me.

Mine too. It's not that funny.

"You'll watch the table while the rest of us get food." I unilaterally make the decision then look to JJ and Jaicey.

I dare you to argue the point.

"Fine with me." JJ answers, under duress visually from Jaicey.

Jaicey also adds. "It's not that funny. Girls love a guy that can dance. It's sexy."

"I'm—I'm sorry." Matt apologizes while gathering his composure. "I'm sorry."

My arm gently gets grabbed near the elbow, causing me to turn to my left and see Sabine already looking at me. "What are you thinking?"

"One of those burrito bowls." I answer. "Just kind of want one."

Thought about it early this morning for some reason. Been craving one ever since.

"That's what I was thinking too—"

Suddenly, my phone begins going berserk on the table, vibrating so hard it's moving as well as lighting up and wailing.

"My ba—" I start before I see the message as the violent vibrating continues.

CODE 517. CODE 517. CODE 517.

Code 517?!

As fast as I can I snatch up my phone and bark out "Go."

Code 517 is a push notification directly from the Council signaling life threatening event that I'm being called to.

"Transferring." Twos reports to me.

I know they tapped into the same alert as the Amber Alert system for kidnapped children.

"What's going—" Sabine starts before I hear the line connected.

"Bridger." I hear Windu's voice. "Get to your car. ASAP. There's a situation you're qualified for that needs resolving."

"On it. Send the directions my way. What's the situation?"

"Active shooter at the University of California, Los Angeles—"

UCLA. That's right down the road.

"—active shooter situation with at least one shooter and estimated thirty hostages."

I dig into my pocket for my wallet as fast as I can before asking "And?"

Why are you calling me? There are people for this!

"Los Angeles HRT Team is on a retreat in San Francisco. The push notification for a shelter in place order will be going out in three minutes to all phones within a ten mile area. Get going." Windu directs me.

"On my way." I nod before ending the call and pulling out my credit card.

"Sorry—" I slap the card down on the table and apologize to everyone. "Gotta go."

"What's going on?" Matt asks as Sabine grabs onto me by the arm.

I gently remove Sabine's hand as I yank my backpack over my shoulder. "Work. Sorry. If anybody asks? I'm here with you."

GO.

"Work?" Sabine parrots me before I see realization hit her face and she moves to grab me again. "No."

"Sabine." I say as she moves to forcibly grab me again.

"—tell them no, you're in the middle of something, you—"

"Sabine." I cut her off while moving to leave. "I can't. It's my job. I've got to go do it."

"Ezra!" Sabine makes another grab for me, this time catching my backpack. "Wait!"

She's got tears in her eyes.

"I can't." I answer, then give her the best smile I can. "I'll text you. I'll be fine."

"Ez—!" She starts one final time before JJ grabs her and I feel Sabine's façade crack.

Nope.

I can't do this.

I have to go.

Whipping my car around the corner at about 45 MPH, I continue ignoring the red and blue flashing lights pushing me thru this traffic by brute force.

No sirens. Can't spook 'em.

Here.

I pull in roughly and throw the car into park before pulling my sunglasses and phone into my hand. My phone briefly lights up as I open my door.

"ACTIVE SHOOTER SITUATION AT—"

Push notification went out five minutes ago.

Rifle's already on the roof.

Leaping out of the car, I lock it up as I see officers parking right behind me and exiting their vehicles.

Nobody around. But it's in the air.

Ignoring the tension, I jog up to the building Twos indicated for me and duck inside.

Glasses.

I throw my sunglasses on as I locate the stairs and tap the side of the glasses twice, activating the mask.

"Gushh…Shhhh…"

The mechanized breathing kicks right in, supplying me with pure oxygen for focus while the lenses light up with pertinent information the Council's beaming my way.

Kid's name is Dallas. Smiling in his ID photo—

US Marshals, LAPD, FBI already here.

Taking the stairs as fast as I can, I arrive at the seventh floor and take a quick glance around before spotting a man in a blue jacket who immediately points the way for me.

Thanks.

I nod once to the man, find the ladder up to the roof, bend my knees and—

Here.

The entire scene opens up in front of me while the men closest to me do a flinch, spasm thing.

Good visual.

He's holed up in the bottom of this administration building. But there aren't offices, it's a coffee shop with a sandwich place adjacent to it.

Everyone is sitting in the middle, right out in the open—

And he's got a poor girl right next to him.

Damn.

An older looking man in an FBI jacket turns back, spots me and quickly makes for me. "Sir."

"Please tell me we've got any progress?" I ask, voice disguised by the mask.

The man shakes his head tersely. "No. Hostage mediator is trying to talk him down but—"

Yeah.

The mask lets out an intimidating breath, garnering looks from everyone as I continue surveying the scene.

It's a shot.

"—here's your earpiece…" Another agent extends a clip with a clear wire connected to an earpiece. I accept it with a nod and start to stick it into my ear while clipping it to my belt.

"—and here's the rifle. .338 Lapua Magnum. They say you're familiar with the weapon?"

"—Shh…I am." I nod once before taking the weapon from him.

Safety check.

Discarding the blank, black cover, I double check that the chamber is empty—

Nope. Clear. Kickstand.

With a flick of the wrist the collapsible stand is erect and— "Gsshhh…"

Connect audio? – Twos

"Yes." I instruct her while giving the rifle a quick once over with my eyes.

Looks perfect.

"—please take a step back. Remember. Breathe." The mediator's voice pops into my ear.

Turning back to the agents beside me, and the older one is silently extending a lone clip of ammunition.

Only need one shot.

Hope I don't have to use it.

"I don't want to do that!" A male voice counters.

"What do you want?"

He's scared.

You can hear it in his voice.

And desperate.

I let out one final breath, and the mask makes it audible before I return my eyes to the scene. "Get everything out of the way Twos."

I need tactical information and that's it.

The Council's information vanishes, leaving just the lenses of my rifle along with meteorological information.

61 degrees. Air quality is good. 58% humidity. Pressure is at 29.84 inHg.

"I want this to stop. I want somebody to listen to me!"

"I'm listening to you." The mediator replies calmly as I crouch down on the rooftop. "Right now, I am listening to you Dallas.

I tap my glasses one more time, muting my words to everyone around me. "Twos, can I get patched in to that call?"

I can talk him down.

I just have to be able to talk to him.

"If there were people that listened to me out there, then I wouldn't be in here!" His rage comes through just before Twos' answer flashes up.

Yes. Connected now.

Breathe.

I let out a breath as the mediator keeps talking.

We're coming to a head. I can feel it.

"Thermal."

My visual goes to thermal and my suspicions are confirmed with the shooter's heat signature visibly hotter than everyone else around him.

Everybody's temperature is up.

"Gushh…Shhhh…"

382 yards, 18 inches from my west. He's facing north.

"Eyes on the target." I say for the record before setting the sights.

"—you're in a lot of pain, but isn't the way you want this to go down. Please set the gun down. We can talk all this out. It's going to be okay."

"It's not going to be okay!" He shouts back. "There's no point! There's no reason, no grand plan or—

Now.

"Dallas?" I say quietly.

"Who's that? Who is this?"

Ignoring all the eyes behind me that just fell on me I let out a breath. "My name's not important right now man. Okay? What's important is you, and everybody else in there."

"NO!" He roars. "I'm not important! I'm useless and pathetic and—"

That's not true.

"That's not true. I know that, Miss Labeck over there knows that—" I flash my eyes to the mediator, who is staring over at me. "And most importantly you know that Dallas. Okay?"

"You're wrong!"

"You're in a lot of pain right now Dallas. I can hear it in your voice. You're scared and you feel like this is the only way to make the pain go away."

Talk him down Ezra.

"How would you know?" He demands of me.

"Because I've been in your spot. Been that scared, that terrified. I've pulled that trigger. It doesn't help you man. I didn't feel any better."

"I don't believe you!" He replies, voice cracking. "Who are you, sent here to kill me?"

"No." I answer evenly. "I'm here to help save you. We're all here to save you."

That's a lie.

"I can't be saved! I'm too far gone, too wasted to be of any use!"

I breathe through my nose and blink. "I need you to breathe for me Dallas." The mediator jumps in.

5 MPH wind. S-SW intermittent.

"No! I don't want to breathe! Or listen to you, or him, or anyone!"

Flexing my index finger over to the trigger— "Dallas." I remind him. "You don't want to do this."

"I know you don't." The mediator adds.

NOW!

The Force screams a warning just before I hear "I do."

—

My shot rings in my ears, just before screams erupt from seemingly all directions and—

…

And…

I take my finger off the trigger, having found my mark and allow myself to hang my head. The screams continue, maybe even pitching up in hysteria as I close my eyes for an instant.

I know the policy after discharging a weapon in public.

Pushing off my knees, I rise to my feet and tap my glasses twice to reveal my face to everyone up on the roof. The wind noticeably buffets me right away and I resist the urge to pull away.

No.

Robotically, I grab the rifle by the stock and extend it to the older man, who is looking at me. Once he's taken it, I put my right hand up in the air to indicate that I'm unarmed and start digging for my wallet.

Jedi ID. State ID. Badge to get into the Temple to show who I am.

…

573.

Handing all three pieces of identification over to another agent, the rifle is set away and somebody motions for me to sit down.

573

…

I failed.

573.

…

574.

Rounding the bend in the neighborhood, JJ's house looms large up on its little mound before I pull into the driveway.

I really don't want to do this. But I have to.

Sabine's going to know right away how off I am. The others might be able to.

I'm usually never affected this much. This might be my second worst reaction to a situation like that.

Sweaty palms, dehydrated, I can feel my anxiety ticking up. And I know just by looking in the mirror that I'm pale.

This used to never happen. I used to be unshakeable.

After I turned I had a tough time, even though I spoke to the Jedi's mental health team on a daily basis. Just trying to get a mental handle on everything I've done and come to peace with it.

In some form or fashion. I don't know if I'll be able to.

574.

…

Focus Ezra.

I shake my head before moving to exit my car, stopping only to grab my sports drink and starting up towards the house.

Four cars.

Practice for everyone is over. And it doesn't take a genius to know where everyone is.

Focus. Repetition. Discipline. Control.

Marshalling my wits, I probe out just as I reach the front door—

Cayle's here.

…

Why's he here?

Think it through Ezra.

The Council probably went back and tracked my movements from the moment I got the Code 517. They probably saw the whole scene and sent him to deescalate the situation.

A familiar face. Well…kind of.

I lighten my footsteps as I step into the house and probe again—

They're deep in the house. Probably the entertainment room in the back,

Maintaining my attempts at stealth, I—

OW!

Stupid knee.

…

I don't think I should have done that jump. Didn't think of that though. Oh well. Too late now.

"—shooters like this always have a profile." JJ's voice reads out. "For the shooter, the summary is well known. But for the sniper, they also have recognizable traits."

"And this is a Doctor?" Cayle asks him as JJ stops reading.

I slide over to the island in the kitchen and lean up against in before JJ responds.

"Yeah, doesn't say here who it is exactly but—"

Cayle's voice buts in. "Kyle, get that site and that doctor."

"—snipers are methodical. Controlled, clean, disciplined, patient and willing to kill another under morally acceptable circumstances." JJ continues reading.

"Hang on." Cayle cuts him off. "Stop right there. No no. Snipers don't get to make the morality call. They're just the hand that pulls the trigger."

"Like that would make it any easier." Sabine says reasonably.

"There's a system. Protocols for all of this." Cayle points out forcibly. "Chain of command, a way things must be done in order for them to be done right."

JJ asks "Then where does Ezra fit into that chain of command?"

"That's not for you to know." Cayle counters.

"Why not?"

"Yeah, where is he?" Matt asks.

Yeah, everybody's here.

"I would imagine he's on his way."

"You said that twenty minutes ago!" Jaicey hotly replies.

Cayle audibly steps. "Hey, I don't know. And I'm not going to push him and demand to know where he is. He'll get here when he gets here."

"I'll finish here." JJ proclaims. "—morally acceptable circumstances and accepting on faith that the target is a threat to innocent lives."

"We know that." Cayle points out. "It's all over the news."

Thirty plus lives in one hand, one in the other.

"What I don't get is how a hostage rescue team can be halfway across the state on a retreat and not even have a skeleton crew—"

"Whoa whoa." Cayle cuts him off. "How do you know that?"

"Read it." JJ answers. "Before you got here."

The room goes silent. "You know what." Cayle laughs. "Ezra undersold you. Probably because he was being nice and trying to help. But you really need to be careful on where you get your information from."

"It's good information! Accurate!" JJ replies.

"It shouldn't be out there in the first place!" Cayle points out. "You have no idea how dangerous that information is. Or accurate. You don't know!"

JJ defends himself. "I'm editing it! The post really makes the point of saying that they're not publicizing the sniper. Which probably means that they had to reach out to a unsavory source and—"

"Easy there cowboy."

Amen Cayle.

"—that job can't be easy. Today's shooter, although he was successful, probably had his process damaged or destroyed somehow."

Sabine's voice pipes up. "Yeah but that's not Ezra."

"We don't know anything." JJ asks.

Cayle adds. "Exactly. You can make anybody fit into any box if it's broad enough. Damaged process? How about parents not exactly being parental? Or that they text or call whenever it's convenient for them and don't consider raising their kid. Sound like anybody?"

Sounds like me.

"Ezra kind of shrugged that off—" Jaicey admits.

"And that's my point!" Cayle overrules her. "Ezra's perfectly fine. Everybody's got their issues. I do, you do, we all do, Ezra does too. You're trying to diagnose something you have no need to, and using extremely vague intelligence."

JJ counters. "I just want to know that he's okay."

"We all do." Matt agrees.

"And that's why I'm here." Cayle's tone lightens up. "The…The Jedi know about how Ezra's semester time here at USC has gone. We know that he thinks a lot of all of you, and trusts you—"

Jaicey cuts Cayle off this time. "Then why doesn't he talk to us?"

"Because his job is dangerous. He's trying to protect you." Cayle drives the point home. "I'm sure if you dig deep enough on the internet you can find what information on a Jedi would go for. News flash: it's a lot of money."

"We're not going to sell him out!" Matt says indignantly.

"Yeah!" JJ adds. "I'm just trying—"

"To do the same thing he is trying to do for you." Cayle shuts JJ down. "Protect you. The less you know the better. He's not trying to lie, or deflect, or even that he doesn't want to tell you. But he doesn't because he cares and wants you to be safe. That's it."

Out of nowhere, my phone buzzes, causing me to jump out of my skin before I glance down at—

Call incoming in one minute – Twos

Great.

I don't want to do this…but since the Council isn't going to stand in the way of this one…

Quickly, I duck back towards the front of the house and the front door before my phone starts vibrating.

No way that way sixty seconds…

Easy Ezra.

My phone vibrates again before—

Relax.

Releasing my tension out into the Force, I tap on my hone screen and raise it up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Ezra?" A familiar voice asks on the other end.

This is him.

"Yes sir, this is Ezra."

"This is President Palpatine son. How are you?"

I laugh out of habit, then smile to nobody. "I'm hanging in there sir. Nice to speak with you."

"The honor is all mine, my boy. I know you've had a very long day, so thank you for taking the call."

"No problem sir."

"I was hoping that our first conversation would be under better circumstances." Palpatine reveals, sounding like he's smiling on the other end. "But we both know life rarely accommodates us like that."

I laugh again and nod. "Very true."

He's…actually kind of charismatic on the phone.

"I want to thank you Ezra. Not only personally, but on behalf of a weary nation and every single parent whose child got to go home today because of your actions today."

"Thank you sir."

"You were placed in a high stakes, zero-sum situation with many lives on the line, and on top of that with little to no warning. And despite all of that, you managed to respond in such a manner that prevented a catastrophe."

It was a catastrophe anyway.

"Thank you sir."

"You're very welcome Ezra. How are you holding up?"

"I…" I start, then unconsciously sigh. "I assume you know who I am sir."

I'm Vader.

"I am aware of your history, both past and present." He concedes, then pauses.

To wait for me to answer.

"It's…affecting me more than it usually would. I don't know why." I confess.

On the other end, Palpatine gives off a light laugh. "From my angle that sounds like a positive."

I suppose so.

"We're all only human Ezra. I…I know you were raised to believe otherwise. But it's true. It's perfectly alright to have a reaction and not be completely alright after a day like today. If anything, it tells me that it makes you human."

I'm not supposed to be human.

I'm supposed to be better.

"That's an interesting way to think about it Mr. President. Thank you."

"You're very welcome Ezra. I'll let you go, I'm sure you have places to be and would like some time to yourself. But seriously…thank you. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me or my office if there's anything we can do for you."

"Thank you sir. I appreciate it."

"Alright then son. Have a good night."

"You too sir."

The line on the other end goes dead, and I lower my phone to look at it.

That…just happened.

With a heavy breath, I slip my phone back into my pocket and—

Cayle.

Just standing right by the door, leaning against the railing to the stairs.

"Hey."

"Hey." He smiles back. "Well played."

"It was awkward."

Cayle waves away my concern. "I think all of those calls are awkward. I think you played it quite well."

"Thanks." I smile, only to find myself looking at the ground.

Look up.

"They're waiting for you in there. Asked about a billion questions."

This time I can't help but laugh while I look up, then smile. "Shocker."

"I know right?"

"What'd they say?"

Cayle shrugs in response. "Today's not the day for that. Go sit down, relax. I told them to keep things light. Order in food. Not play Call of Duty today."

Yeah I don't want to do that today.

When I blink, Cayle's smiling at me. "What?" I ask.

Cayle gives me another look, then moves to give me a hug. "Love you man."

"That bad huh." I comment, moving to hug him back.

"It's not a bad thing. I know you're not used to feeling so much. But it's a good thing."

"Doesn't feel good." I counter.

It feels awful.

Cayle gives me a helpful smirk. "Doesn't look good either. But it is. I promise. The Council'll be happy to hear it."

"Sure they will."

They love my misery.

"I assume you heard from Kanan and Hera?"

I nod in response.

Dinner tomorrow. And I'm supposed to bring Sabine.

"Good. I'll let you get in there. They're anxious to see you. Sabine especially."

"Cayle—" I start before he cuts me off.

"I'm just making an observation." He says while passing me and moving past me. I turn with him, only to see that a black car has pulled up to the curb.

He called an Uber. That tricky bastard.

"Call if you need me."

I nod, getting a smile in reply before he turns to his car and I turn to the house.

Well then…

Here we go I guess.

I let out a breath, then take the stairs again and open the front door.

They're—

Before I've reached the hallway to reach the kitchen, I hear footsteps thunder towards me before Sabine rushes into—

Oh.

Sabine's whole face buckles just before she tackles me and wraps herself around me and starts sobbing into my shoulder, all while Matt, then JJ and Jaicey all follow Sabine's lead.

"I'm fine." I tell her, then glance at the others as they look on. "Sabine. I'm fine."

Sabine doesn't respond, only a muffled cry before burying her head closer to me before Matt pulls me into a hug.

Hey.

Jaicey instantly moves to my right and hugs me as well, then JJ loops around to complete the circle.

Group hug.

…

It's okay now.

It's okay.

The song on Sabine's speaker switches over, while the air vents audibly kick back on.

Guess it got hot again.

Blinking needlessly, I stare up at the ceiling and listen to the music.

I shouldn't have done that.

The song, which apparently is an older hip hop song continues on while my room is bathed in complete darkness.

I think she set the speaker up on the decorative cabinet across the room before—

…

Breathe.

She told me the truth.

It's completely normal to be overly emotional after something like this. Confessions of love, more copulation and physical—

Sabine silently shifts her body but remains curled up against me, head on my chest.

Still completely at ease with the situation.

…

I should not have done that.

And I definitely should have pulled out.

But she told me not to, and I could tell she was telling the truth and—

…

I don't know.

Maybe it's the loss of life. The suddenly shift and circumstances that make people react to a loss of life with the instinct to perform the action that creates more life.

Doesn't mean it was a good decision.

It was great, but what if…

No Ezra.

Sleeping with her could mess everything up. We were friends, now we're…I don't know. For all I know I'm a notch in her bedpost.

I kind of doubt that, given how it went and how quickly we did it again, but still…

This is Sabine we're talking about.

My Sabine.

…

She's really my Sabine n—

"Stop thinking so much…"

I let out a laugh as Sabine shifts again on my chest before I look down and see her open her eyes and peer up at me.

"I can hear your brain going a thousand miles an hour."

"Sorry." I smile at her.

Sabine changes her position curled up next to me before I feel her move her thigh against my leg. "Just…try to live in the moment."

"I think I'm doing an okay job of that right now."

Sabine giggles before fully shifting to sit on my legs, fully exposed before smiling at me thru the darkness. "Okay job is an understatement."

Okay then…

"You did…" Sabine whispers as she settles down on top of me. "Amazing. Incredible. Superior in all areas. As I'm sure you heard."

"I heard." I joke, getting her to laugh which only gets me to start laughing.

Yeah…good thing she set up the music.

"You were serious?" I ask again.

Sabine nods, then kisses my jawbone tenderly. "You want details."

"I'm detail oriented."

Sabine silently seems to accept that. "You…this needs to be a secret."

"Okay."

Why?

"Soccer doesn't like their players being on birth control. There's this…stigma, I guess for lack of a better way to put it. Cause it affects your chemistry, you know?"

I make an affirmative noise, getting a smile out of Sabine.

"I basically get it for free. Since Daddy is an exec. Limits where I can go to pick it up, but it's way cheaper than anywhere else. I'll bring you with me next time I go to pick it up. It's in a couple of weeks."

That makes more sense.

"It's all bullshit. I play just as good now as I did before I got on it. It's all hype and hysteria and a desire to control and keep the girls in control."

"That doesn't surprise me." I smile.

Her coach is an asshole.

"…I really don't have to worry about that meeting you had?"

I shake my head slightly and pull her close to me. "Wasn't bad at all. I've faced way worse. If they hire me, they hire me. If they don't…I don't know."

I might get assigned to work at the Temple daily after classes. I know they want me doing something.

"We'll see."

"Mhmm." Sabine shifts after finishing my point. "How are you feeling?"

"Great." I blurt out.

Really great. I feel amazing.

Sabine giggles then repositions herself, letting the comforter drop, revealing her naked body once more to me. "You ready for round four?"

"I…" I stall, then glance over at the clock.

11:47.

"We can go again…then order in food and still get a little bit of sleep before class tomorrow. Even though maybe we should just stay in tomorrow."

What? And do more of this?

That'd be great but…

"I'll go to class." I reply. "Stare at the professor and pretend to listen."

"That's all I do." Sabine pushes her hair back. "Stare…and listen. You should try it sometime."

Yeah I don't think—

"It's fun." Sabine whispers to me, reaching around my neck before pulling me under her sway once more.