7:55.

The analog clock ticks along at the front of this dimly lit classroom.

Everybody else in here is bleary eyed and drowsy.

Not me.

I should be. But I'm not.

Sort of a theme for the last 24 hours.

I don't like feeling all of this at once. It's overload, it's too much.

I knew that already though.

Another theme.

"I love you."

I said it too. We both said it, multiple times after finishing and collapsing onto my pillows.

I love you. Three words. Eight letters.

I think that's a part of sleeping with someone. Those three words, eight letters.

The exact same exchange occurred with Leah in Ibiza when I worked her out there. And she tried to devour me whole there.

And it's not like Sabine hasn't told me those exact words before. Hell, she's slept with other people both before and after.

Thanks to Ryan. And last night still happened.

I'm not sure what exactly I was thinking.

I don't think I was thinking at all. I just did it because of what happened.

Sabine bawled her eyes out once we came back to my place, telling me how terrified and scared and worried she was about me. Jaicey told me earlier how she was frantic the whole time before Cayle showed up and demanded answers from him.

I wasn't even surprised she kissed me. It was a nice departure from how clammy I felt. She…

She sort of kissed life back into me. I was a complete wreck, we kissed, it escalated, she drug me back to my room, threw me onto my mattress and…

Her clothes came off.

I never heard about the fact that I was the once who started it by deepening the kiss, then lifted her up to get a better angle on her.

Maybe it was pity sex.

But then if it was, why'd we do it four more times?

The other four times weren't pity. They were…exhilarating.

She wanted it just as much as I did. Maybe more.

…

We're still friends though.

If there's one thing I know about Sabine, it's the fact that she's still very much getting over Brett. You can't get over that in a week, or a month, or six months.

Or nine months—

Holy shit.

…

Sabine broke up with Brett the same month Mira was born. Last May.

Busy month.

…

Yeah. Sabine and I know each other as more than normal friends now. But that's what we are.

Friends.

I doubt that changed over the course of last night.

Despite the fact that…that is what I want.

I can't lose her. She's too special a person, too good a friend to me.

She said that early on in our initial make out session.

"I can't lose you."

It was just a great night.

…

One thing I do actually understand is the whole 'being on the pill thing'.

If soccer is so focused on it, then that needs to stay quiet. Her coach has it out for her anyway, I don't need to reveal three problems in one.

That I like Sabine as more than a friend, that there's more there than I said, and that she's on birth control.

I really don't like it though. It's so…controlling.

Soccer isn't everything in the world. Even if they are here because of it.

It's their lives, their bodies, their choice. Every player should be able to do whatever the hell they want in that aspect of their lives.

And I mean…what if they comply and things go wrong? Precautions don't work?

Or aren't taken at all, letting the chips fall where they may.

Any soccer player could be pregnant, which likely means they'll get kicked off the team and lose their scholarship.

And even if they don't get kicked off, and Coach Crazy decides to keep them, that's a minimum of being out 9 months. Plus post-partum recovery.

I would imagine there would be a fair bit of ostracizing that would come with it too. Those team aren't exactly a perfect social environment and there's cat fighting as it is.

You add a baby into that mix?

Plus…life would be different for whoever it is. Permanently. Irrevocably.

And I don't even think I'm even thinking of half of it.

"Alright class…" A female voice says quietly before I blink and I see our professor set her bag down.

When'd she get here?

"First question about our last reading…"

Oh I have no clue about this one.

"Thank you." I say to the gatekeeper to Hera and Kanan's neighborhood. Beside me, Sabine is again examining herself in the mirror.

Since it's the "offseason" she didn't have practice today. So she spent from three o' clock until just before we left at 5:30 getting ready.

No clue what she did during her extended stay in my bathroom, but she came out looking impeccable in dark blue jeans and a white blouse.

Then she spent even more time on her makeup. I didn't even KNOW she had so much makeup but now I do because it's all over my bathroom.

"You look great Sabine." I try to reassure her as I wind my way thru the neighborhood.

Sabine smiles slightly while still examining herself in the mirror before closing one eye and turning to the side.

She's overthinking it. It's not that big of a deal, it's a casual dinner.

And she looks incredible.

Pulling into the driveway behind the SUV finally gets Sabine to close up the mirror. "You ready over there?"

"Oh shut up." She swats over at me as I kill the ignition before clambering out. "Do I really look okay?"

Okay?!

"You look amazing Sabine. You're gonna do great."

Why is she so nervous?

Sabine gives me a toothy smile in return before we round the car and she wraps me up in a side hug. "Thank you. Any last minute tips?"

…

"Nah." I shake my head. "Just be you and you'll be fine."

With that final piece of advice, I turn and knock at the door, which immediately causes Ghost to bark in the background. "Well, maybe Ghost." I joke.

Sabine laughs just before I hear Kanan's voice say something towards the living room and the front door opens. "Oh hey. You didn't have to knock. Come on in."

"Eh." I shrug while gesturing for Sabine to go in first.

"Thank you." Sabine says quietly before sliding insi—

Ghost immediately begins barking again before Kanan turns back around. "Ghost!" He hollers. "Hush!"

That's one of his training words. He knows that means be quiet.

I slip inside and close the door behind me before giving the living room a glance to see—

Mira.

…

Mira.

"Go say hi." Kanan encourages me. "Follow me Sabine."

I don't catch what Sabine says in reply as I keep looking at Mira, who is sitting in her customary spot near the fireplace in the living room, Ghost sitting at attention next to her.

I…

Mira…

Sitting down next to her, Ghost eyes me for a moment then quickly sits right next to me. "Hey Ghost." I say quietly.

I…I didn't know Mira could get me all choked up like this.

It's so good to see her.

Mira doesn't seem to register all the movement around her as she bangs away at her block toy, giving off its customary smacking noise. Ghost insistently sticks his nose right next to my face, giving me little choice but to give him scratches. "Hey boy…good to see you."

Ghost lets out a breath thru his nose as Mira moves to the next shape with her rectangular shape.

That's the right one.

Mira however, turns it and slams it against the hole, which of course doesn't fit and causes Mira to frown before turning it slightly and trying again.

Nope…

Try turning it again silly.

Mira does just that, but still not enough and she breathes heavily.

I can see her little brain going. I think she knows this is the one. But she can't—

Giving the shape another turn, it partially finds the slot it goes into, only for Mira to adjust on the fly and shove it into the hole, where it disappears. Thrilled, Mira claps before turning for her next shape.

"Here ya go…" I hand over a new shape, this time a semi-circle looking thing.

Mira takes it and says something in her personal language before moving her focus right back to her toy.

It's like she doesn't know I'm here.

But she's concentrating. Which is good. It's just taking all of her focus.

I guess that makes sense. Babies can't multitask. They're still figuring everything out.

I continue scratching Ghost behind the ears as we watch Mira work thru the problem with two incorrect shapes before Ghost snorts heavily, getting Mira to turn and finally spot me.

"Hey there." I smile down at her, just before Mira lets out a very loud squeal and waves her arms and legs in glee and turns to reach out for me. "Hiiii."

It's so good to see you!

"BA-BA-BAA!" Mira says once again, clapping her hand against my chest.

"It's so good to see you…You having fun over here with your blocks?" Mira responds with a gleeful smile and a gurgle before curling closer to me. "Yeah I missed you too."

Oh boy.

Feeling a slight tear in my eye, I lean my head to the left and blink rapidly a few times before it goes away. Mira meanwhile continues talking while petting Ghost, who ducks his head to accept the love. "Yeah, Ghost is here too. We're here for dinner."

Once Mira's done petting Ghost, she turns and points to the kitchen. "Yeah, let's go to the kitchen…"

Oh no.

Oh boy.

Ahsoka's here?

Sabine and Ahsoka are sitting next to each other near the sink as Hera is working on something.

"—it was only a precaution. I hope we didn't spook you or worry you too badly." Ahsoka says gently to Sabine.

"It's okay." Sabine counters, fiddling with her wine glass. "I didn't know what's going on. Still don't really."

"Which is why I'm here—Hey!" Ahsoka lights up for Mira, who gurgles and waves an arm at Ahsoka. "There you are? You find Ezra?"

Mira babbles back as I glance to Sabine and see a soft smile appear on her face. "Yeah, we found me. Had to figure out an extra block though."

"She likes her blocks." Hera glances up and smiles at the sight of her daughter. "It's definitely her favorite Christmas gift."

I smile once again before pivoting Mira to face Sabine. "You remember Sabine? The mean lady from my apartment?"

"I was not mean…" Sabine defends herself as Ahsoka and Hera laugh.

"Yeah I know. Mira wasn't fan though."

"It usually takes her a minute to warm up to new people." Hera explains. "Sit down Ezra, grab a drink."

Ahsoka motions to take Mira, and I pass her over then move toward the fridge.

I guess if they're having wine, I'm having wine too.

"Where's Jacen?" I ask, head in the fridge.

"He's at his friend's house. They decided to have a pizza party and a sleepover tonight." Hera reports.

That sounds fun.

"Do we think he'll make it this time?"

"He hasn't been the problem. It's his other little buddies." Hera answers as I finally find the bottle and shut the fridge.

"He's got friends here in the neighborhood? It looks like a really good neighborhood." Sabine comments.

Hera smiles and nods. "Yeah, it's pretty safe. Bunch of kids his age and I think he's friends with all of 'em."

That's awesome.

"That's great." Sabine smiles warmly.

"It's so important to have friends at that age. Makes all the social anxieties and issues that much less likely." Ahsoka tell the room as I grab a glass.

Don't spill it Ezra.

Mira vocalizes something before I finish pouring the glass of wine and set the wine bottle back in the fridge. "You want a toy? Which one?" Ahsoka peers down and asks. "C'mon!"

I sit beside Sabine, two seats away from Ahsoka here at the kitchen counter while they adventure off to the living room. "Hey." Sabine turns and smiles.

"Hey."

Told you it won't be so bad.

"So what do you do…" Sabine asks Hera.

Hera smiles and glances up from chopping something green. "Hera dear. Call me Hera. I work for the FBI and the counter-intelligence field."

Oh, So we're giving her the truth?!

Sabine freezes up before shooting me a look of fright. "You're fine Sabine, this isn't a set-up or anything."

"But—and I know she's a Jedi because she's Cayle master or something—" Sabine sputters.

Ahsoka sits back down, toy for Mira in hand before turning back and smiling. "Yeah, he's my charge. Was he more bearable yesterday?"

Sabine immediately sputters and goes a little pale before Ahsoka reassures her. "It's fine. We usually keep a file on when we talk to people. I know you and he haven't exactly gotten along. He can be hard to take, I understand."

"I've wanted to strangle him too." Hera adds with a smile to Sabine.

"I…I don't want to cause any offense." She answers quietly.

Ahsoka quickly laughs. "Oh whatever you say can't be the worst thing I've heard."

Both Hera and Ahsoka fall silent and wait for Sabine to speak up. "He's just…pushy. And a bit of a prick."

She's really measuring herself.

"You can say that again." Ahsoka smiles then points to me. "Blame this one for linking up with him over summers."

"He's never told me how they met." Sabine turns to face me.

Oh now how am I now at fault for this?!

"Intense summer retreats. Some at Temples, some out in the world. They just work together well." Ahsoka explains before reading Sabine's face. "I know, I don't get it either."

Cayle's getting crushed right now.

"He means well though. Those two love each other and he probably doesn't like you just instantly butting yourself into that conversation." She finishes her point.

Sabine seems to want to say something before sipping her wine and eying me. I copy her then smile.

This is going…alright.

Already had a curveball but that's okay.

"What's taking him so long?" Hera asks, annoyed before rising to her tip-toes to peer out at Kanan.

"I think he's changing out the bed of the charcoal pit." Ahsoka infers, turning and glancing out at the back patio.

"Pop open the window." Hera tell her, just before Ahsoka snaps her wrist and the window pane rises.

OH—

"You okay out there?!" Hera calls out to him.

"Yeah, fine! Just scarring on the inside of the grill…" Kanan grumbles.

"Well I'd like to eat before too long!" Hera call back before Ahsoka helpfully closes the window. "Ezra said steaks were fine with you Sabine. Is that still okay?"

"yeah." Sabine nods raptly. "Love it, I'm starving. Baked potatoes too he said?"

"Of course." Hera nods before I feel Sabine loosen up a bit.

Girl loves her potatoes.

"By the way. before I forget how are you holding up Ezra?" Ahsoka peers back to me.

"I'm fine." I shrug.

I'm better.

Still a little shaken. Couldn't really focus in class at all today but hey…

Worse things have happened.

"Is he lying?" Hera immediately asks Sabine.

"I, uhh…" Sabine sputters. "He's okay I guess. Better than yesterday. He was all clammy and jumpy after…everything."

"Which is perfectly understandable." Ahsoka replies gently. "I'm sorry we had to put you in that spot Ezra."

I shrug and sip my wine before Sabine pipes up. "He, uhm, was he—"

"Yeah." Ahsoka confirms for her. "Cayle said you'd already kind of figured that out."

"Well yeah, with the sudden exit then the shelter in place order then…everything else." Sabine turns to look at me, concern evident in her voice.

"I'm fine." I sip my wine again.

I'm better. Not the first time.

"Cayle said your friend had some pretty spot on intel." Ahsoka asks Sabine.

Sabine turns back. "I don't know. He's always on some shady sites looking up theories and stuff like that. I don't know much about it."

She just listens.

"You think he's a problem?" Hera asks simply, pushing whatever she's chopping to the side.

"Nah." I set my empty glass down. "He just wants to know more about everything. He's harmless."

"Harmless?" Sabine repeats after me before turning back to me.

"Yeah, he's not gonna do anything with it." I say, getting to my feet to refill my wine.

I can have one more glass.

"That's awful dismissive out of you." Ahsoka comments as I pass by.

"He's usually paranoid." Hera tells Sabine.

I am not paranoid!

"Am not." I give Hera a quick frown before going back for the wine. "Anybody else want more?"

"Sure, here." Ahsoka nods while moving to grab Sabine's glass.

Okay…

"He's just curious." I explain as I pour myself another glass then hand the bottle over to Ahsoka, who goes to refill Sabine's glass. "Nothing more or less to it. He just wants answers to questions he has."

"Speaking of questions." Ahsoka turns her focus to her own glass. "I know you have questions."

Meaning Sabine.

"I…More than anything I just want to know that he's okay."

Hera smiles. "He's fine."

"He does missions for us from time to time, that's mostly it." Ahsoka explains while handing me the mostly empty bottle back. "Yesterday was a vast exception to the rule."

"What do you mean?" Sabine asks.

"Statistically, the first week back on campus is when events like that could arise the most. Scheduling a retreat with a bunch of other hostage rescue teams during that time is irresponsible." Hera says coldly.

Oh man.

"They should have known better." Ahsoka piles on. "Putting a lot of people into positions they were never meant to be in. Including you and your friends Sabine. You weren't supposed to know."

"I won't tell anyone." Sabine volunteers.

Ahsoka smirks then nods. "I know. Ezra told us you knew about his mission in December. And you never said a word about it."

"You did?" Sabine snaps to look at me as I move to sit back down.

Defensively I answer "I had to…it's part of it. Can't lie in reports."

"Bad things happen if you lie in a report." Hera says ominously.

I wouldn't know, never have lied in a report.

"I'm sorry you got put into that positon Sabine. That's partially why I'm here, on behalf of the Jedi Council."

ON BEHALF OF WHAT?!

"On beha—huh—what?!" Sabine stutters as he jaw falls onto the floor.

Hera turns to me. "You didn't tell her that?!"

"He doesn't tell me anything." Sabine buts in before I can speak.

"Because I know I'm not supposed to…" I turn and glare at Hera.

Come on!

"You can trust Sabine though." Ahsoka reasons.

Sabine quickly nods. "Of course."

"Good. Because now we have some stuff for you to sign." Ahsoka smiles before Hera smiles as well.

"Sign?"

Oh no.

"It's just a few non-disclosure agreements and such. Your father signed the exact same ones. We'll even get you a copy to send off if he'd like to look at them." Hera reassures Sabine as her tension spikes in the Force.

Mira meanwhile decided that now is the time to let out a squawk for attention. "Hey, I'm right here." Ahsoka looks down at her.

Mira meanwhile isn't looking to Ahsoka at all. She's holding onto her elephant chew and is gazing at Sabine.

Oh…

I think it's time to say hello.

"You wanna say hi to Sabine?" Hera asks Mira. "Do ya?!"

"Here." Ahsoka hands Mira right off to Sabine who scoops her up and bursts into an enormous smile.

"Hi."

Mira responds by cooing quietly and grabbing for Sabine' hair. "Yeah, it's a cool color. Isn't it." I peek over Sabine 'shoulder and smile at her.

"You've never seen hair like that before?" Have you?" Ahsoka smiles as Mira keeps grabbing for Sabine's multicolored hair.

"It's nothing." Sabine replies modestly, pulling Mira closer and smiling. "I dyed it."

"Ohhhhh!" Sabine groans in pleasure as I can't hold back a grunt and collapse off her, face down into my spare pillow.

—

—

Oh my god.

—

—

Sabine makes almost a purring sound beside me as my brain tries to click back into place.

—

—

Oh my god.

—

I…

I did it again.

We.

We did it again.

…

We didn't even make it to the living room. She just…attacked me.

Gasping for air, Sabine nevertheless grabs onto my chest and lays her head on me. "That…"

…

Yeah.

"God you're so good…" She gushes. "So…so good."

"Same." I mumble back.

I…

I got nothing.

"Don't…you ever let me go try to fuck some random frat dude. You're…so much better Ezra…you have no idea."

Okay.

"No idea. And I trust you, and I love you, and…"

…

"Ezra?" Sabine asks before peering up at me. "You there?"

"Sort of?"

Sabine giggles in reply, then moves to kiss my neck. "Good…"

She starts trailing kisses up and down as I continue to try and get my wits about me.

Oh…my god.

"Just come down from cloud nine when you can baby…" Sabine whispers in my ear before kissing it.

Baby.

"Trying." I gasp.

Sabine laughs once again before stopping to kiss me deeply while positioning herself to sit on top of me.

—

—

Sabine lets out a satisfied breath then curls up to me. "I should have done this…months ago."

I don't know about that.

"Could have saved me a lot of trouble."

Could have caused more too.

"But maybe we don't get to this point." I finally find my words.

Sabine stops to eye me. "Yeah…maybe. Since men are so focused on labelling everything…"

Labels are—

"Just…live." Sabine says before kissing my cheek. "Just…sleep with me for a night. A weekend. We can get up and worry about everything later."

…

"You did not just say weekend."

She did not.

This time Sabine laughs so loudly she cackles. "God you're so…horny…"

"Sorry…"

Can you blame me though?!

"Can you blame me though?" I ask before Sabine smirks.

"Nah. When you get into bed with me…I wouldn't blame you either."

Wow.

"You're beautiful." I blurt out.

Sabine smiles so big her dimples appear. "Thank you…you're gorgeous too."

"I am?"

Sabine makes an affirmative sound before planting another kiss on me. "Just don't tell anybody I said that though."

"Okay."

Okay…

Sabine laughs once more before moving to get up. "I'm…going to go grab the speaker off its charger. You lie there and recharge. Okay?"

I nod in response before Sabine gets up and…

GOD HER LEGS…

I allow myself to groan, then cover my head with my hands.

What…in the hell.

How did this happen.

How.

How on earth did I get this lucky.

I don't deserve this. At all.

But it's not about deserve. It's about getting it. And what you do from there.

Sabine's footsteps preclude her reappearance in my doorway.

And I got it.

"Got it." Sabine waves the speaker at me before moving to set it down on the cabinet. "Now where's my phone…"

Probably in her jeans.

I groan again before Sabine asks "What?"

"Bad thought. Sorry."

I really shouldn't—

Sabine's body just drops onto me, leaving me no choice but to notice just before I look up at her. "I wanna hear it."

"It's bad…" I turn away and groan.

I really shouldn't be seeing so much of this…

I'm getting…everything.

Unabashedly. God her confidence is so hot.

"I'm bad…" Sabine's voice turns seductive before I feel something stir up inside me.

Oh boy.

"You're looking for your jeans right?" I ask, and she nods. "My first thought was: I got in those jeans."

Sabine immediately giggles and leans onto me.

It's so bad…I know.

"I know it's bad."

"True though…" Sabine replies, then pecks my nose. "You did."

I did.

"And you can again…once I—hah!" Sabine cheers before holding her jeans up. "Found it."

Found it.