(A/N: Without spoiling anything...this is another tough chapter. Frequent coarse language, graphic depictions of...things, the whole shebang. If that sort of thing is difficult for you...I won't be offended in the least. All of that being said, I hope you all enjoy the chapter.)
"Hello class!" Dr. Followell decrees as he strides into the room before stopping and taking a look around at the mostly empty auditorium. Pausing at the sight, he then comments. "I see that most of our fellows have decided to start Spring Break early."
Yup. Last class before Spring Break and 80 percent of the class decided not to show up.
I was sort of expecting tomorrow to be like this, since Matt was telling me yesterday that there's going to be a ton of parties tomorrow night to kick off the festivities before everyone scatters to their vacation destinations of choice.
"Regardless of our friends choices…I'm glad you all are here. I've got a good lecture for you today, but before we get into that." Followell lets the room fall into silence. "When we conclude today, on your way out write your name on this—" He raises a piece of printer paper for all to see. "—piece of paper. You'll be glad you did."
Ahh. Probably a free quiz grade.
If he was really feeling generous he'd give the people who aren't here a failing grade on that same quiz but…
That's me being vindictive.
No, you're right.
Shut up Vader.
"—like I said, I've got a good one today. The topic is…as the projector warms up." He jokes, getting most of the room to chuckle at his joke. "The effects of manipulative parents on their children."
Wait, that can't be—
Glancing down at my printed slides, I see that indeed, that is our lecture for today.
Wonderful. That's what I get for just printing it out and sliding it into my folder.
"—there's generally three tactics of manipulative parents that they use to actively harm their child. And before I begin let me say that while some say that they are unaware of the damage they're doing, others are actually quite aware. They're using their position of authority as a parental figure to get a sort of vigilante justice on past crimes or injustices that were done to them."
The slide switches over. "The three tactics I mentioned earlier are: Personal Attacks, Invalidating their Child's Feelings and Love Withdrawal. I'll begin with the last and work backwards."
This ought to be interesting.
Shut up…!
The next slides appears on the screen. "Love Withdrawal. Research on attachment suggests that infants form a deep, emotional bond with their parents. Explanations for this include, but are not limited to, the warmth and tenderness of physical touch in infancy, the learned association between the parent and safety, and the release of reinforcing neurotransmitters when interacting with an attachment figure. Typically, the attached relationship between two people is conceptualized as love. For the manipulative parent, however, the attached, loving relationship can be leveraged as psychological control…"
Let me out.
My head continues pounding as I quickly change from my jeans and t-shirt into my Jedi robes.
Ibuprofen didn't help. Maybe meditating will.
God I hope it will.
I can help. Let me out.
Your help isn't help.
How do you know? I haven't said my piece. You're coming to a conclusion without looking at all of the facts.
Slamming my locker shut, I briskly stride to the door and pull my phone out of my pocket.
Cayle. Kanan. And I think Master Skywalker is free right now. That should be enough to get the message across…
"Bad lecture today. Not actually bad, just not what I needed to hear today. Going to meditate in one of the spires. Vader won't shut up. Might be good to engage one of the contingency plans, 99 maybe."
The rest of the Temple can go on with their day peacefully. I'm not going to engage with him and give him an opening to force his way out—
Yes you are. I can help. Let me out.
I stop dead in my tracks as I'm steps away from the lift up to the spire.
No.
No I'm not.
In…
…
Out…
"The parents can infuse their child with a sort of…poison. Turning them into the very thing they despise about themselves."
But he didn't hate that about himself. He was…is Lord Sidious.
I know that his primary personality trait was manipulation. No matter who he was interacting with, he was always looking for an edge, an opening that he could exploit to his own gain.
The only person he didn't see to do that all the time with was Mom, and I know how that ended up.
He killed her.
That's a lie. The cancer did. You've always blamed him for that.
Because he did. Shut up Vader.
…
He was selfish. Unfair. Delusional. Mentally assaulting me at every turn. Emotionally abusive. Verbally violent.
A lot of the Jedi's psychologists told me that I was never able to be comfortable in my own skin. In my own home.
I'm still very much figuring out who I am.
Sabine's helped a lot with that. And I know Kanan and Hera have tried, without saying it explicitly, to give me the sort of environment that Dad never did.
I remember back as I was preparing for the move from New York to California and USC and Mira was just a newborn and I hadn't met her yet, I was terrified.
I do everything I can to never get mad at them. Never visibly show my anger.
I can remember countless times that I'd say a word or phrase wrong. Laughing at the wrong joke on the TV. And Dad would flip on a dime.
"That joke's not funny! The hell's wrong with you?!"
Followell was right. It is poisonous. Here I am, all this time later and I'm fighting that.
I mean, the last time Jacen and Mira were over I ordered pizza for us. And Jacen didn't mean it, but he got excited and his plate flipped over and his slices of pizza fell onto the floor, making a mess.
He quickly apologized and did his best to help me clean it up. But I still felt that familiar spike of fury at him.
He didn't do anything wrong. He's a kid, kids make mistakes. You have to let kids make mistakes so that they learn and grow.
Otherwise you suppress them and they can't grow.
Dad did that deliberately. Told me I couldn't do this or that. Couldn't go play with my friends, I had to train. Couldn't go read my book because I accidentally spilled my milk at the dinner table the night before.
"But, this parent – perhaps unknowingly – exerted psychological influence on their child by blaming his or her own feelings on the child. The problem here isn't that the parent is fabricating these feelings (they are very real after all), it's that the parent is using the feelings in an attempt to regain psychological control over their child."
Followell's words float through my head before I exhale and let the tension out of my body.
I was better than he was though that day. Not initially, at first I snapped at him and told him to be more careful.
He said sorry as Ghost tried to scarf down the food. I stopped him and told Jacen to go get the paper towels. He did as I asked, saying sorry again.
I told him it was okay, despite the fact that I was mad at the mess that he made. Stopped what I was doing to hug him and asked him to be more careful next time.
He said he would be, that he didn't mean it. And I knew that, so when I'd cleaned up most of the mess and went back into the kitchen for some cleaner to get out the stain in the carpet, I got him two more slices of pizza, gave him a hug and that was that.
I tricked he and Mira into an early nap time, then meditated on my moment of anger. When I came out of it, Sabine was there and Jacen was already talking to Jaicey and Matt, who had come over at some point during my meditation.
That went great. Jaicey and Matt were super cool with both he and Mira, and Ghost seemed to already be okay with them being there.
…
…
Exhale.
…
…
It just goes to show that nobody is born evil. Born with hate in their heart. You get made, twisted into something vile and toxic.
He did this. Dad did this.
And I hate him for that.
You're not supposed to hate. It's not the 'Jedi Way'.
Oh shut up Vader. I know what you're doing.
I'm not trying to do anything. I'm trying to help you work through this lecture.
Isn't that why we're here?
Yeah, but this isn't a conversation between the two of us.
…
Exhaling again, I let my mind move on.
After this I'll go check the status of the investigation into JJ and this whole Rising Tide situation.
Find out some actual facts instead of listening to Jaicey bitch to Sabine about all of it.
She's been over more nights than not, bringing a bottle of wine with her as well as all of their problems. Unfortunately I have to listen to it as I lounge around on the couch, doing some reading for class or working on homework.
According to Jaicey, she and JJ are broken up until the day after Spring Break. She phrased it different, calling it 'a break' and saying that they need it.
Which is a little rich coming from her, since she keeps citing that party that she and Sabine and their Russian teammate (who I haven't heard about since) as the start of their issues.
Love's not perfect, and neither is theirs. Apparently they've been bickering back and forth about small stuff. Jaicey says they're both frustrated and stressed about life and classes since apparently things have only gotten harder in the classroom.
I think they're being too hard on themselves. They both have little free time, and the time they do have they spend with each other.
Sounds like us and Sabine.
There is no 'us'.
I spend time with Sabine. You have nothing to do with her Vader.
That's not true. You and I are one and the same.
…
…
Change topics. Move on Ezra.
Yeah. "Ezra."
Fuck off! I know you're being sarcastic as a way to try and work me up. It won't work.
Inhale…
…
Exhaling, I push all of that to the side.
Move on.
…
Last I checked they've deep dived into that Daisy girl that JJ was communicating with. I'm surprised that they're letting me monitor the investigation as it's developed.
I was expecting to be called before the Council again to be held accountable for the fact that JJ completely pulled the wool over my eyes and had me fooled.
I really did dismiss his curiosity as…I don't know.
Childish intrigue and wonder.
When he gets to talking about all of that, he gets so excited and worked up it honestly reminds me of Jacen when he gets hyped up about something.
We found his profile on that Truths of the Holonet website, as well as a few others. Hera subpoenaed his whole damn browsing history for the last ten years and has been using Twos to help whittle it down.
Right now it appears that most of his story checks out. When he created the profile, how he met that Daisy girl…
At least he told Ahsoka the truth about UCLA.
Cayle told me it was okay to be relieved about the whole thing. It was okay to be mad at him.
I was.
Not as mad as Jaicey. Ahsoka, Cayle and I were outside for about ninety seconds before we started to hear Jaicey go off on JJ. Sabine and Matt fled as quickly as they could onto the front porch, and I had to drive them home because they'd had a drink.
Can't say I blame her all that much.
Had to hear Sabine try to convince me to ditch whatever the Jedi are going to have me do over the Break and come down to Mexico with them.
She doesn't know who you are.
Be quiet.
They've apparently made a whole group out of it. Women's Soccer with Jaicey, Sabine and a few of their teammates. Football has their whole contingent with Matt, Trey, a few others I know and a bunch I don't. Baseball has a few coming after they bombed out of some tournament thing. Softball was going to but they 'won't stop winning' according to drunk Jaicey.
You know she's going to sleep with every man in Mexico.
That's not my prob—
Not her you idiot.
…
Sabine's not going to do that.
And besides…we're not a thing.
Because you're too afraid to take that next step. You consummated your relationship and she's at your mercy in your bed night after night and—
That's enough out of you.
…
You're a coward.
Yeah well you're a liar.
No that's our brother, as you and our friend Aubrey always had your lame little joke.
It's not lame. She came up with it.
Since Elias can be turned into 'Eliar' with a simple letter change.
What were you, elementary school? What kind of losers still use jokes from elementary school?
…
Exhal—
She's compensating every night by having sex with you. She does not trust you.
She—
I see it every time you look into her eyes. She has doubts. Questions that you cannot answer.
…
That is true.
I speak the truth.
No. You lie. Just as much as he does. You want control.
That's not happening.
The back half of my week is completely open ended. Suspiciously so. The Jedi never just 'give me off time'
I think they're trying to sneak me somewhere.
DC.
And our wonderful, potentially Caesarian President.
SHUT. UP! Vader!
NO! Asshole!
It'd make sense if they've got something cooking, trying to sneak me in with all the crowds going to DC.
I did some covert research while Jaicey and Sabine went back and forth a day or two ago. Apparently the week of Spring Break is one of the busiest flying days of the year.
I would imagine they see an opening in all of the crowds to sneak me in somewhere, maybe the White House and—
That'd be great. You hate crowds.
I don't hate crowds. They just make me…anxious.
All I have to do is breathe and focus and I'm alright.
Speaking of breathing…
…
No no. We're not done here. Back to our girl.
No.
You shut up about Sabine.
I will do no such thing! You cannot seriously believe that being surrounded by attractive men and under the influence of who knows what substances—
Yeah, Jaicey causally made a reference to Adderall, marijuana…all sorts of stuff.
She's already had problems with alcohol compromising her decision making.
Imagine her on more! Imagine her on some beach, scantily clad in a two piece bikini—
You don't get to imagine that—
I already saw it. When she modeled it for you after she ordered it online. And then you took it off her.
I did.
Who knows how many more she's ordered.
She's done some online shopping and had it sent to my door. Which I'm fine with, apparently some freshman have had some of their packages that were sent to the dorms stolen.
You don't know what she's ordered.
Not my business. I'm not you. I don't want to know every little thing, making me nearly omnipotent—
You're weak. I'm surprised you had the balls to fuck her. Oh wait.
She started it—
After we blew away that loser at UCLA.
He was not a loser! He—
Was a loner who turned a temporary problem into his permanent end. His own mental failings end up costing him his life. Because of YOU.
I did my job.
Because the State of California was incompetent! You enjoyed that part, bailing out the same people that berated you months before.
…
Yeah.
I wish I could have seen those smug fools' faces when they heard that the Jedi had to call in the horrific Lord Vader to save the day, riding in on a white horse and shining armor.
You can. All you have to do is ask Twos to access the footage.
No, I bet the Council already put a block on it.
No they didn't, they weren't even paying any mind to you. The fools. They don't care about you anymore!
…
You heard them yourself! You busted inside your girl, on your couch, in front of their camera. AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!
I can't believe I almost got away with that.
I can! They don't care about you! They will use you up and then discard you into a cell!
No they won't!
The question really is: How long are you going to let yourself have sex with the girl? Do you really think your worst tendencies cannot be passed on? You heard your professor today.
…
He said it's not totally genetic.
Nature versus nurture—
Her birth control will fail her. Or she will fail to take it, and you will not pull out. Then it will be too late.
I probe every time we—
Oh you probe her alright.
Fuck off!
Okay!
Sabine lets out an ecstatic moan of pleasure while squirming to get away from me.
But not really.
"Ohhhhh…yesyesyesyesyesyesyesYES!" She groans with every stroke of mine as—.
Yes Yes Yes
Easy now—don't—
"Mhmmm…Uhhh…" She reaches back to grab the edge of my mattress, her mind only on—"Yeah baby, yeah baby, right there—
STOP THAT!
You have no right to—
Yeah I do! They're my memories too! Except in a few days' time, it won't be you inside her it'll be—
"yesyesyesyesyesyesyes—MHHHMMM Right there baby—OHHH!" She yelps in ecstasy as I— "Don't stop, right there—Fuck—Yeahhhhh…mhmmmm!"
I exhale heavily as Sabine's entire torso is contorted due to her gripping both my mattress and pillow as—
"Ugh…godYES!" She exclaims as I feel something give inside her. "Theretherethere—OHHHH!"
Somebody else for that moment of ecstasy.
Sabine's eyes squeeze close as I feel her, inches away from pure bliss before she grabs the pillow to let out a muffled scream of—
…
…
…
Yes.
…
…
Now to come out of his meditative trance.
Forcibly exhaling, I start bringing us out of the supposed state of peace before reaching out and—
Oh. You.
…
…
Opening my eyes, they're met with the sight of his friend, Cayle sitting across from him mimicking my position.
"You're copying me."
A smirk pops onto his face before I see him open his eyes. "It's not copying if every youngling is taught the same meditative position like you were. It's universal."
He has my glasses.
"Still feels like copying."
Cayle laughs before moving to get to his feet.
…
"How are you feeling?"
Fantastic. The boy allows such raw, untamed power to flow through him without thought or remorse.
"Better." I report to him.
"Thanks for the text. We prepped for the worst, couple of guards in the hallway and half a tac team armed with dendrotoxin pistols to subdue you if we had to. But it sounds like you beat his ass."
No. I beat his ass.
Because he is weak.
All I had to do was wear his puny ass down, chipping away at him before I took over.
And you don't have a clue.
"It wasn't that easy."
Cayle stops in his tracks and glances over at me, where I'm still seated. "But you did. Which is great. You'll be able to report to Kamino and DC that—"
"DC?" I blurt out.
Cayle stills, then fully turns back to me. "Yeah. Haven't you checked your email?"
"I've been busy. I've checked them, but haven't read everything."
He huffs out a breath through his nose. "My Master's not going to like that…and you know them. They'll listen to all of this."
So you're measuring your words.
"Just for future reference, if you see an email from any of us, be sure to read it first. I don't care what else is going on. That's the priority."
Yes sir.
Don't order me around.
"I'll try."
Cayle laughs. "Do or do not." He mimics the Grand Master, Yoda. "There is no try."
"Thanks Yoda."
He laughs again. "But yeah. Anyway, what's it been since you last let Vader out? Couple of days before Thanksgiving? You haven't reported him talking or anything. Which is great. You'll be able to say you've kept a lid on him again."
No, right now. You're talking to him dipshit.
And you haven't even noticed.
Clown. I'll fell you before you can even face your trials. Where's your—
…
He doesn't have his lightsaber. Bridger purposefully left his in his locker downstairs.
"What's it been now? Fifteen weeks until Thanksgiving, then from now until Christmas another…" He does the math in his head. "Another fifteen?"
"Sounds about right."
I broke his streak.
Even though I cannot BELIEVE that he is strong enough to hold me back for—
"That's really amazing man. Seriously. I know I don't say it because you hate him so much. But you remember as much as I do. There was a time you couldn't keep him down for more than a day or two. And now look at you."
Now look at me.
"I am trying." I say evenly.
"It's working." Cayle reports glowingly. "You're winning."
Doing everything I can to restrain an eye roll, I opt instead for a probe out into the Force—
God that's so EASY…
"Who else is that in the hall?"
"Oh, another one of Palpatine's lackey's. The one following you today." He informs me casually, a note of disdain in his voice. "The same mousey one from when you tested your knee."
Oh. That wimp.
It'll be fun to deliver him back to his boss in a bag.
"I could break him like a twig."
I really could.
Cayle turns back to eye me again. "Yeah, and a part of me wants you to. I can't believe they're having you followed."
"I'll be sure to bring it up to the man himself when I meet him."
If I'm going to DC, there's only one real reason why.
"Please do." He requests of me. "And do your best to tactfully show your displeasure with the situation. My Master said that we attempted to do that but we rebuffed at—"
Like they're about it.
Nobody is above my power.
I'm insulted.
…
"You feeling okay?" He asks as I roll my shoulders. "You're covered in sweat."
"A little clammy." I weaken my voice deliberately. "He made a good run at me."
In front of my eyes, I see his friend's walls finally come down. "I'm sorry dude. I'm glad you beat him. You're better than him."
No he's not. I won.
"One day at a time…"
His friend laughs again, this time a full on belly laugh. "…yeah. One day at a time."
It was really a battle of wills. And the true power of a Sith, as my father always said resides not in the body, but in the will.
And that once I accepted that, I would fully unlock and awaken the power within me.
Yet the Jedi Order is blind enough, and Bridger vane enough to work out his body with such rigor and vigor that his girlfriend cannot see him without his shirt off without jumping his bones.
Abs and pecs and nothing but strong, toned muscle…
She's pretty damn hot too. Her offseason weight training is doing great things for her as well.
The little girl is starting to blossom into a woman.
"Take your time. You're in no rush. It's around five or so, so Sabine should be getting out of practice soon I think."
Since they won't be having practice tomorrow because of Spring Break.
Thursday is their regularly scheduled off day.
"Thanks." I close my eyes and smile before turning my focus inward to assess myself.
…
He just walks around, all this…power chained up inside him. It flows through his blood without a second's hesitation.
And he's too weak to even think about using that to his advantage.
Every single night he's with that girl he could wipe her mind and have his way with her, just as he has been doing. But instead he opts to give her autonomy.
She still chooses to find herself under him night after night to play a game or five of hide the lightsaber.
…
Fools.
It would be prudent, once I make it out of here to wipe her mind, then act as per usual tonight. She'll be too busy tomorrow packing to have sex. But tonight…
I can prime her pump and ruin both of their lives. It'll take time for the truth to come to light, giving me time to build up an escape plan.
Then his little house of cards will come cascading down.
I'm out, she's pregnant. The whole world knowing my power…
She'll hate him.
Leaving him nowhere to run to…but to me.
"Can I see my glasses?"
Casual.
Cayle stops his introspective glancing out the window. "…No. We need to go downstairs. Run the normal tests, you know the drill. No lightsaber or glasses or phone or anything."
He created the drill. The plan, really.
Damn you Bridger.
"I'm fine."
His friend's face scrunches as he moves to properly look at me. "No…you're not. Don't get pissed at me. You worked with the Council to create these checks and balances. To keep him from even having a chance of getting out unnoticed."
Damn him to hell.
"Cayle, really." I throw in a laugh to placate him. "I'm fine."
"I don't care." Cayle expression turns derisive. "I know you said you beat him, but you know the drill. We've done this many times before."
Stupid idiots.
"—you don't have to—" He continues blathering on before I reach out and grab the arm of my sunglasses.
He went into the Oakley store with Sabine. Got them retrofitted with his school's colors.
Cardinal and gold.
"Let it go." He orders me, daring to look at me in the—
Oh.
He knows.
Go time.
In one fluid motion, I raise my knee and catch him in the stomach flush before hearing the air come out of him.
Gimme my glasses.
With barely the flick of my wrist, my glasses fly right into my hand and—
I let out a grunt as Cayle moves to bodily tackle me before I dismiss the attempt and send him rolling off me. "Get back in the gym boy."
You're weak. Before me, you are nothing.
I don't understand why—
"HE'S OUT!"
YOU. LITTLE.
I snap turn on my heels to fully face his friend as he gets back onto his feet. "Hey Asshole."
"You're gonna regret that." I warn him.
Somehow, his stupid friend smiles before I hear the swish of the door opening—
Oh damn.
Quickly, I take a step back, grab the lone chair in the room and throw it thru the now open door to catch the initial rush of agents in the crossfire—
"WHOA!" I hear somebody yell before a cacophony breaks out and—
I grunt once again as Cayle rugby tackles me and starts trying to force me to the ground. "Get—OFF!" I yell before grabbing him with the Force and throwing him into the frame of the door.
This should be fun.
Striding towards the door, I step right over his friend as—
"FREEZE!" His friend named Zeb calls out to me before I eye the hallway, halfway full of men in tactical gear as well as two to three Temple Guards.
Armed with duel bladed lightsabers.
Mine.
"No." I declare before raising my hand to—
Where'd my glasses go?
"Here." I hear his stupid friend say before I glance down and—
You pickpocketed me.
Without a second thought, I kick him full on in the face before I hear— "Get him down!"
Yeah. No.
I raise my hand as all of the men pull their triggers and small projectiles start flying out before I wave them all aside, leaving them to splatter harmlessly on the walls.
Too easy.
The men move to reload as the one named Zeb yells "We need more backu—UHH!"
Finding his ribcage with my knee as well, I march forward as Zeb falls off me and—
"FIRE!" A panicked voice screams out before I peer up and—
Oh. You. Mousey boy.
You'll die first.
I smirk to myself before grabbing all the agents on the right side of the hall and throw them into all the ones on the left side of the room, bodies and limbs going everywhere before all of the Temple guards move as one to—
Too close!
Grabbing the decorative table just as the first one on the left side of the hall advances on me, I clobber him in the head and separate man from lightsaber as it clatters to the ground once, twice—
Oh…
"You…" I grip the duel bladed saber with glee in my heart before allowing myself to smile. "All have already failed. I have won. Step aside, and I won't have to kill you."
I want to though.
I want to kill all of you.
"Cease hostilities!" The remaining Temple Guards order me before I respond in kind by activating the other side of the lightsaber, then twirl it in my hand once, twice, three times and tuck it behind my—
NO!
His friend grabs my entire arm and splits me from the lightsaber before his other friend, the bodyguard roughly tries forcing me to the—
"NO!" I yell hoarsely, rolling my whole body over and discarding him off me before moving to grab—
Cayle grabs the lightsaber protectively and activates it away from his body. "Yeah…no."
"I'll kill you for that." I inform him.
I'll be nice and tell you how you will die.
"Said that before." His friend pops off before I feel somebody grab me by the—
"Charge!" Somebody else yells as the agent grabbing my ankle latches on tight to keep me in—
"AHH!" I yell as multiple people tackle me and finally force me to the ground before we engage in a rough, knockdown, drag out—
"Get—OFF!—ME!" I punctuate every word with a withering punch to the head of a person as—
Shots ring out before I feel something collide with me—
Oh you're gonna need more than—
"POP POP POP POP POP POP—"
You're out of…
Of…
Feeling my knees go weak, I—
Uh oh.
I fall heavily to the ground, feeling the dendrotoxin start to kick in as—
NO!
The elevator door opens to reveal yet more agents with chains as well as Skywalker, Tano and—
NoooOOOOOOOO!
I let out the loudest scream of pure fury that I can as the world starts to dim around me, people rushing in from all sides as I start—
—
(Postscript: These next two chapters (Spoiler Alert!) are obviously going to be Ezra's Spring Break. And given where he's going, they're very important chapters. That being said...there might be a delay in these two chapters. I don't rush any chapters until they're done, but especially not these. I don't like tipping my hand but...these are going to be important chapters, and I'm not putting them out until they're how I want them to be. I know deep down that you all (my readers) would want the same, so I thank you in advance for your paitience. I'm going to attempt to get them out on my regular schedule of Monday and Friday but we'll see how it goes. Thank you for reading and for your paitience.)