Unlocking my apartment door, my eyes fall onto the sheet-thin, papery key ring holding my house key, mail key, car key, and key to Hera and Kanan's house.

Forward. Keep moving.

I push open the door, then close it quickly behind me and turn around and survey the scene I left.

The water bottle on the kitchen counter is really my only clutt—

…

…

Sabine's eclectic collection of art supplies, canvases, and paints dominate her corner of my apartment. The visual difference between her…pile of things and the rest of the apartment is jarring.

I don't think I'll have to clean up before Matt and JJ come by for lunch tomorrow.

It'll be nice to see friendly faces. Haven't seen them since school ended, and I've only texted Matt a couple of times.

He took a vacation I think.

My footsteps get completely absorbed by the carpet as I slip past my recliner and set down my crappy keys, new black snakeskin wallet, and the key fob for the Jedi Temple garage on the coffee table.

Phone.

…

…

Rotating it a couple of times in my hand, the lock screen comes to life. The visual of a half-submerged camera, water line below, and picturesque island up top greet me before I type in my new passcode.

051739

Need to remember to change it to something I'll remember.

…

'A' ran a complete diagnostic on my phone to double-check that Maul didn't slip something onto it without me knowing, and forensics gave all my social media a look with fresh eyes.

I should be clear.

The default home screen shines past my apps while out of habit, my fingers navigate their way to my text messages.

Her wording was so…I know I'm right.

"So now my damn parents are fighting in their room downstairs Ezra. ABOUT YOU! I don't know why but I don't care! First, you lose my beskar then you damage my family's honor, and now they're fighting about you?! WHAT THE HELL!?"

"He got sent outside to sleep in our guest house Ezra. Mom refused to have him in the house. If they divorce and somehow you're involved I… I don't know what I'll do!"

…

I didn't reply because I don't know what they're fighting about, but it can't be good.

Master Kenobi spoke with the Duchess this morning. Technically yesterday Chicago time. She agreed that I was the best option and after Master Kenobi took his leave got in touch with Clan Wren.

I'm such a liability right now.

It could be any number of things. Sabine's mother could just not want me to be Sabine's protection. Or it could be worse.

My identity as Vader is hanging over my head there too. Maybe that finally came to light.

…

If they get divorced…I don't know.

I'm not worth that. I'm not worth any of this really.

Forget this. Anything I need to do, I can do in the morning.

I force myself to my feet, put my phone on the charger next to the lamp in between my recliner and couch then start back to my bedroom.

I'm going to bed.

(The following day)

They're here.

The knock on the door comes right as I'm expecting it, and I don't break my motion of seasoning the steaks while calling out "It's open!"

"There he is!" JJ satirically calls out as he and Matt enter my apartment.

"You made it." I finally look up from the three steaks in front of me.

Matt lets out a chuckle before JJ corrects me. "Of course we made it. How are you man?"

Ehh.

"I'm doing alright. How about you guys? Help yourself to what's in the fridge, just ran to the store."

JJ lights up and moves to check out what I bought before Matt approaches and claps me on the shoulder.

He's been worried about me.

"Just got back a couple of days ago." Matt informs me before he catches a sports drink that's been tossed to him by JJ.

"He filmed another episode of that QB showcase show."

"I thought that was a one-time thing?" I ask Matt before returning my focus to the steaks.

Got the olive oil, salt, and pepper. Now onto the grill.

"It was, as a participant. But because I'm good on camera I got invited back to be a counselor." Matt says with a frown.

"You don't look happy."

JJ helpfully chimes in behind him. "Matt got to talk to the kids about dealing with adversity."

"Oh geez." I groan, then start to drift out of the kitchen.

"Yeah…where are you going?" Matt asks, suddenly looking anxious

I motion with my head towards the porch. "Haven't started the grill yet." Simultaneously, both of them move to follow me.

"But yeah. Adversity. It wasn't too bad. I bet most of it, if not all of it will get cut from the show." Matt picks up on his point.

"And they can't pay you, could they?" I ask before opening the sliding glass door.

Matt shakes his head. "Nah. They did what they could, bought food, took care of my hotel, arranged for travel. But I had to pay for the flight which was more than all of that."

"Oh don't listen to him, he used his Mom's frequent flyer miles."

"That they earned!" Matt turns to frown at JJ. "I don't like mooching."

"You're not mooching, they're your parents! They didn't object."

"My dad did. It's his account." Matt jokes as I double-check the connections on the gas part of the grill.

I don't want to mess around with charcoal today.

"How about you?" I ask JJ.

"Jaice and I went up to Crater Lake up in Oregon for a week." He replies. "Camped for a few days, hiked the crater, and took a tour. Thing is crazy big."

"Was it actually hit by an asteroid?"

Pilot light.

JJ shakes his head. "Nah. It used to be a volcano before the shafts that pushed the lava up collapsed. It was so sudden the whole thing exploded, blowing out the whole volcano. Now it's said crater with a tiny island in the middle."

"Should I go get the steaks?" Matt chimes in.

I nod. "Potatoes are in the fridge, you guys are hungry right?"

"Starving," JJ confirms as Matt wordlessly slips inside. "We've already worked out today, so this is exactly what we needed. Thanks for inviting us, man."

"No problem. It's good seeing you guys, sorry I've been quiet."

JJ waves away my concern. "Nah, we know things have been nuts for you. And I would imagine you don't wanna talk about it—"

"I don't mind." I give him a white lie. "I'd just rather finish what we were talking about. Anything else fun since I last saw you?"

A month ago.

Crazy that school ended a month ago.

"Not really. The fam, Jaicey, and I finished our Oregon trip at Timberline Lodge and did some skiing. That was fun. Other than that came back here, training for the new year." JJ informs me, then moves to grab the door.

"My bad." I blurt out, just before the gas catches and my grill comes to life.

"You're good, you're playing with fire, literally—"

I can't help but laugh as Matt comes out, both hands full of food. "I didn't know you'd already prepped everything man."

I needed something to do. Keep me busy.

And off my phone or looking at the news.

"No big." I dismiss Matt's concern. "Did you do anything else big? JJ just said he went skiing."

Matt deposits the steaks off. "Not really. Just training. Did I grab the right thing?"

"Yeah." I glance back and see that Matt's eying the foil packets of cubed potatoes that I've already seasoned and prepared. "I switched it up, I hope you don't mind."

"I trust your judgment. I doubt you'll kill us." He jokes before the three of us fall into laughter.

JJ adds. "I've heard enough of your cooking skills from Jaicey thru Sabine, so I bet however you did it is going to be fire."

"How are you such a good cook man? He's right, she's raved about your cooking."

"There was an intro to cooking class when I started in Georgia. I picked it up quick and took it all four years I was there, so I learned a few things."

The Force rings with both of their surprise. "Makes sense." JJ says reasonably.

"You mind me posting this on the IG once we're done?" Matt turns to me for permission.

No. It could be seen.

"Nah, I don't mind."

Matt fakes a fist pump with JJ smirks. "So…can you tell us anything about your summer? Other than that it's been crazy?"

Matt freezes at JJ's question before he anxiously peers at me. My Probe that follows confirms both of their nerves before I answer.

Even they're nervous around me.

"Some, it's just been crazy. I was on the road with Organa for a week, then that whole Vader news broke. I got recalled here but couldn't say much of anything. Then that stupid attack."

"They recalled you?" Matt queries as JJ leans up against the railing.

I nod while turning my attention to begin loading up the grill. "Yeah. You're never gonna believe it but it wasn't supposed to get out, so when it did and the Jedi didn't know the leak they moved to ensure everyone's safety."

JJ muses. "Makes sense. I bet they had people in a lot of crazy places. Places they didn't want people getting caught in."

Yeah, it would have been bad if anyone had been caught embedded in Organa's campaign.

"Crazy that you couldn't say anything though. Makes sense though." Matt chimes in.

I nod while setting a foil wrap of potatoes off to the side on the secondary burner.

Actually, I want that turned down…

I switch the burner from four to three then return to the conversation. "Operational security is important. Which also means…" I silently raise my fingers to my lips to indicate silence.

JJ copies my move, while Matt makes a show out of zipping his lips, then tossing them over his shoulder which gets a laugh out of JJ.

The sizzle of steak meeting hot grill drowns out any potential haymakers they could send my way, buying me enough time to Probe into the Force again.

They're settling in a little bit.

"I do have a question for you guys though. This attack. What'd the news say? What's the world think? I legit don't know."

I need intel. I need to know what the world knows, from sources I can trust.

I have the Jedi's intelligence reports, but JJ and Matt are normal.

I need a normal perspective.

"All you." Matt turns to JJ, who is caught mid-sip.

"Basically that it came out of nowhere. Jedi got caught completely off guard, and that an old Sith Lord made out with some priceless artifacts. There's a massive reward out for him."

"I saw that they put out a reward." I stall for time.

Won't work, but it's worth the attempt.

"Were you there?" Matt asks falsely.

I chuckle, then turn back to the grill. "You know I was."

The Force immediately spikes before Matt backtracks. "I—didn't want to accuse you or anything."

"Can…you say what happened?" JJ probes me for intel.

"Not if Truths of the Holonet will find out."

JJ instantly blurts out, "Oh shit, I need to show you that by the way, thanks for reminding me. But no, no. I'm on your side here."

"We both are." Matt states strongly.

They are.

"Thanks." I smile, then poke at one of the steaks with the fork Matt brought out with everything. "I got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Could have been a lot worse."

Immediately I feel JJ and Matt turn to each other before JJ speaks. "Not to correct you, but you apparently got hurt. Not that I can tell, but—"

"I did," I confirm for him, then bend down and roll down my socks that I got from my job with Matt to reveal the ice wrap around where Maul's lightsaber cut me. "There and I got sliced on my ribs. Nothing too bad, just…needed time to heal."

"What happened?"

…

"I lost. Beat one guy but got caught from behind then basically trampled as they chased after him. Took them a minute to get me medical. Otherwise, all this isn't nearly so dramatic."

I might have been able to go see them a few days ago.

"Doesn't sound like a loss. Sounds like a tie to me." Matt reasons.

"If anybody lost, it's Vader. Apparently, he was there?"

This is what they want to know.

In an effort to lighten the sudden tension, I laugh. "Yeah, he's everywhere."

"So you've seen him. Like in person?"

"Off the record…maybe." I poke at the steaks before probing with the Force.

The downstairs apartment is empty for the summer. And Matt and JJ are still with me.

"Do you know how Vader lost him? Getting back to what you asked it sounded like Vader just lost his fight and this Maul guy got away."

I shake my head. "Nah, I was bleeding at that point. I don't exactly know what happened, other than that he got away."

"I was afraid you were one of the injuries they alluded to on the news." Matt says grimly.

"Why?"

"Oh, just knowing you. You don't back down from challenges." Matt emphasizes, then gives me a supportive look.

"I don't even know how they reported on it. How many injuries did they say?"

"A handful and the Jedi never clarified."

JJ adds. "They don't like to talk, do they."

"No, they don't." I chuckle. "They pick and choose when they talk."

"I guess I can understand that." JJ thinks aloud. "Ancient enemies, who knows how many else are out there. You can't just be out here doing major interviews or casually chatting. They stick to their humanitarian and relief works and keep quiet."

"And it works. Except for when the President sticks his nose into things."

JJ loudly laughs, then ducks his head. "Is that what they think? It looks like they're being difficult."

Initially, I don't reply, opting instead to open up my small storage area and grabbing the tongs that I keep inside. "Or they treat Palpatine like they do everyone else and he doesn't like it. They're under no obligation to talk."

"Okay, but just for argument's sake." JJ straightens up before I feel Matt start to get nervous again. "The US spends billions helping to fund the Jedi's presence both here and around the world. I feel like that entitles us to some answers."

"Which, maybe, is why they had that meeting in March." I throw out the truth dressed as a hypothetical. "But somebody leaked it."

"Bet they won't do that again." Matt says before I shift some of the potatoes around.

Cheese or something drips into the fire, causing it to lick up and sear the potatoes. "Nope."

That's not true. Palpatine's already set up a function in Napa Valley that he wants me to covertly sneak into so that he can 'lay eyes on me' and make sure I'm okay.

The Council's fighting it, but Palpatine's fighting back.

Using my need for increased surveillance to find Elias as his leverage.

"And plus, Palpatine's old enough to remember what happened in Vietnam with Saigon, especially after Order 66." I turn to JJ and Matt, both of whom immediately squirm.

Everything that happened afterward, happened mostly because the Jedi immediately withdrew.

And won't return for another 950+ years.

"He knows that, so he's trying to color within the lines that he can. But he knows he needs them."

"You." Matt corrects me, then shoots me a smile.

I shrug. "I guess. Remember I did lose."

"Yeah, uhm by the way we gotta get Sabine the news that you're actually hurt. I don't think she knows." JJ straightens up off the porch railing.

No, we don't.

I shake my head before starting to flip the steaks. The sizzle and flames silence our conversation while I maneuver our food.

"She's too mad at me to listen." I try to nip the idea in the bud after I have turned and rotated everything.

Matt hotly interjects. "You got hurt! Bad!"

"Yeah, dude." JJ adds on. "I'm sure you know she's been on the warpath—"

"I lost." I say simply, before both Matt and JJ stop and look at me.

"Yeah but—" Matt begins before I cut him off.

"There is no 'yeah, but.' I lost. That's the whole story. Beginning, middle, end."

Matt looks to JJ, who looks to me. "Jaicey said that it was something about a Mandalorian heirloom she gave you."

"She gave you a Mandalorian heirloom?" Matt follows up.

"I lost Sabine's Mandalorian heirloom. That's why she's so mad."

I lost her beskar.

"And not about you getting hurt?" Matt pokes a hole in my story.

JJ chuckles. "She's overcompensating. She wouldn't be so pissed if she didn't care about him so much."

"Are we sure about that?" I finally unleash the question that's been pinging around my head.

Hit me in the shower yesterday after I got out of the bacta.

"Think about it. Does half your 'adversity' happen if that party last fall doesn't happen?" I ask Matt before turning back to my grill.

Christmas.

Christmas sucked because I stepped onto the Brett landmine I didn't know about.

And you know she connected with Ryan.

SHUT UP!

…

You know I'm right. Even worse, she's learned how to lie to you about it.

Bullshit.

The silence between Matt, JJ, and I starts to drag on before I attempt to break the ice. "I'm…I'm just tired of her yelling at me. I haven't even known her a year."

And she's yelled at me how many times?

She's starting to remind me of our father—

I spin on my heels angrily in response to Vader's taunt, which I attempt to turn into a move towards the door.

I'll find something I need somewhere inside.

My feet lead me to the kitchen, where my eyes give the kitchen a quick once over—

Plates. Perfect.

Grabbing two plates, one for the steaks and one for the potatoes, I start back and probe—

…

Shit.

Matt texted her.

He's just going to make it worse.

"Shut…up." I mutter to Vader as I'm midstride before JJ grabs the sliding door for me. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." JJ strongly replies. "You've been nothing but the best to her and she's done nothing to repay it."

That's not entirely true.

"I'm texting her." Matt announces.

I wince before setting the plates on the small countertop the grill has. "I wish you wouldn't. I'd rather her not yell at another friend in my place."

"Another?!" Both Matt and JJ ask, then look at me.

And now you stuck your foot in your mouth. Good job!

I sigh, then move to check on the potatoes.

They should be close to done.

"Cayle tried calling Sabine before news really broke. Figures he'd tell her before the news did."

"That's nice of him." Matt observes.

JJ counters. "Don't they hate each other?"

"She isn't a fan of him. He doesn't mind her."

Now he's annoyed, but won't tell you because of how you feel.

I feel fine.

"Anyway—" I poke at the foil packet of potatoes. "That's when all this started. He mentioned how they took my beskar and she lost it."

Matt immediately lets out an annoyed breath before the Force rings with both of their irritation.

"You get hurt, Cayle tries to break the news to her gently, and you're the bad guy?"

"If I don't get beaten, none of this happens." I remind him.

I lost. I deserve all of this.

Yes. Yes, you do.

Biting my lip, I move my focus to the steaks. "Medium rare right?"

"yeah." Matt nods while his attention turns—

Uh oh.

"—prefer it a little more well done. But I can take over if you don't want to do it."

Oh, that's right…

I give JJ a nod while looking to Matt. "What?"

"She texted back."

"What'd she say?" JJ sidles over to the grill.

Matt hesitates before the Force gives off a massive tremor.

This ought to be good.

I make a point of grabbing a fork and stabbing the steak to feel if it's cooked through yet as Matt doesn't initially reply.

"Well, what'd she say?" JJ repeats himself to Matt, who is still glancing down at his phone.

"Quote." Matt begins. "Oh? So now he was really hurt was he? His buddy said that it wasn't that bad and he'd be back to normal in a week! The story is always changing with him! Wasn't he supposed to be doing political stuff with Organa right now until all this Vader stuff broke out?"

—

Matt continues. "I really don't know what to believe, other than the fact that my Mandalorian heirloom YOU—" Matt breaks the fourth wall. "Me." Then returns to reading the text. "Will never understand the meaning of, is gone, possibly forever! My family is getting torn to shreds over his failure! For all I know he traded it for his life! It's never just one thing with him, the story always changes!"

…

…

"She followed up with—" Matt adds. "Since you're with him and he's grounded by the Jedi, tell him I found another date for Lollapalooza. And that he would have been a robot during the whole thing anyway due to the crowds."

JJ immediately protests "OH COME ON!"

No, she's right about that.

I would have been paranoid about the crowd the whole time.

She found a date. To replace you.

"—that's crossing a line right there!" JJ says angrily. "Gimme the phone."

"No." I move to stop JJ.

JJ blinks, then moves to his own pocket. "Then I'll text her."

NO!

"Please don't. Just…let me handle this." I ask him, weaker than I mean to before looking from JJ to Matt. "She's my problem."

"It sounds like she's about to become somebody else's problem." Matt reads into the text.

He's right.

"I can't do anything about that." I counter. "All I can do is recover, and get her beskar back to her."

"Yeah, but at what cost?" JJ counters. "You're just a dude man. Just one guy. Vader or some other Jedi will actually go retrieve the beskar, and she'll just thank them instead of you! This whole thing's ridiculous!"

"I have to wear this JJ." I remind him. "If I do my job, none of this happens."

I lost it. I failed.

Maul beat me.

Because you're distracted. All for somebody who doesn't give a damn about you.

That's a lie.

Is it?

I heavily sigh then sidle past JJ and move to turn the steaks over one more time.

"I've noticed that her anger burns itself out. She's still super mad at me." I tell the two of them, then stab my steak clean through.

Dammit.

"Unless you guys have a better idea, I just have to be patient, recover, let her burn herself out, get the beskar back, then the chips will fall wherever. Like you said, I'm just one guy." I lie.

One guy who can't stop lying to the woman he loves because the truth would drive her away!

"And besides, I'm not going to lie to you." I continue, catching both of them off guard. "I'm getting tired of her bullshit. It's always something."

She says that she can't trust me. How can I know that I can trust her?

Silence envelops the three of us, allowing the ambient noise of my neighborhood to fill in the gaps as I place Matt and I's steaks, plus all three sets of potatoes on their respective plates then pass the fork to JJ. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." Matt immediately corrects me.

JJ takes the fork then adds "Totally agree. And you've held in your frustrations with her as she treats you like shit—she has!" JJ points his finger at me to drive the point home so I can't interrupt. "—up until now. You deserve better. And everybody's allowed to explode."

Not me.

I am though! Let me out.

Pivoting, I place both my arms onto the door of my storage area, above my head and gently slam my head into my forearms.

GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD!

No. Let me out.

"I'm supposed to be better." I mumble into my arm, muffling the noise.

"Has anybody ever told you you're too hard on yourself?" Matt asks gently.

Yeah. Mom did.

JJ chuckles. "Ain't that the truth."

Oh, that's not the truth. The truth is way scarier.

Neither JJ nor Matt reply to my statement before I raise my head and turn back to face them. "I'm gonna just try and block her out. Focus on me and what I can do. She's going to be mad and yell regardless."

"Amen!" JJ cheers.

Matt smiles at me. "Come with us after we leave here. We're getting another workout in. You'll feel better afterward."

"Work that frustration out." JJ turns and smirks at me. "I'm telling you, it works dude."

"I can't, I have to go to work. Last day of physical therapy before I can be tested and see if I can start training again." I frown.

I actually want to go.

"Can I get a rain check?" I add hopefully.

"Hell yeah you can!" JJ informs me.

Matt's face breaks out into a smile. "Dude I've been missing you at all these summer workouts. You're great to have around."

"Seriously, he's said that. It's gotten kind of annoying."

Despite myself, I laugh along with Matt and JJ before Matt defends himself. "Don't knock it. He picks up stuff so fast, and he's good as a partner in a pinch. I told you the story of spring ball when we were short on wideouts for a day."

I volunteered to step in and just be a body. I didn't know anything, but Trey offered to walk me through what I needed to do.

Accidentally ended up causing a stir I did so well. I had to purposefully drop a few just to get them off my scent.

It was easy.

"Yeah." JJ flips over his steak, causing the sizzle to speak for all of us. "Is part of helping the Jedi being an athlete? Because he says you're a real athlete."

…

"Believe it or not, yeah." I laugh.