"—And I'll be right back with those drinks." Our hostess informs us.
"Thank you." Sabine replies pleasantly as we're left to our table.
We're here.
"Where'd you hear about this place from?"
Sabine replies "Austyn." With a smile. "She came here last week at some point and said it was delicious."
I make a noncommittal noise in response before the graffiti stylized sign for the restaurant 'La Casita' catches my eye.
"How's your house coming along?"
Sabine's eyes pop back to me, having grabbed a straw for her ice water. "Still crazy. Did I tell you about the dog two streets over?"
"No." I shake my head.
Sabine busies herself with the straw for a moment before replying "He's woken me up…twice this week? Big, loud, piercing bark. Don't know what he was barking at."
"How do you know where the dog is if you don't know what he was barking at?"
"Because I wasn't the only one woken up." Sabine says, then sips her water. "Carrie said she was going to walk in that direction until she found the dog, and I joined her."
"Big dog?"
Sabine gesticulates its height before settling on—"About Ghost's size, but with the attitude of how Ghost stares at you. And not how he's secretly a teddy bear."
I can't restrain a laugh, which gets Sabine to smile across from me. "I can't believe they got a kitten too. A baby, a dog, and now a kitten."
"Mira didn't really give them a choice." I explain.
"Hera told me about that," Sabine replies before sipping her water again. "Said you all had no idea where Chop came from, the back fence doesn't have any holes and that he just showed up?"
"Yup," I confirm with a nod. "All I heard was 'Mira, No!' and Hera rushing past me."
"Mommy: Mira, no!" Sabine smiles before her dimple appears and she seems to hit another gear. "Mira: Mira YES!"
Sabine and I both laugh at her joke, allowing Sabine to lean back and relax a little more.
It's true though. Mira's getting more independent by the day. Which gets her in trouble with Hera more.
"So, uhm…" Sabine's tone alters itself before the Force rings out with apprehension. "Thanks for letting me come to the game today. I had fun."
"Yeah," I answer, then smile in an attempt to raise her spirits. "Jacen was really happy you came out."
He ended up playing three games today. The first two were really just kids running and swarming the ball.
Sabine's spirits perk up a bit before she smiles. "I'm glad I went too. He got really unlucky on the shot in his second game. Otherwise, he would have gotten two goals in two games."
He was thrilled enough with one goal as it was. He didn't care about hitting the crossbar.
"He played well and had fun."
"Which is all you want when you're at that age." Sabine adds before sipping her water again.
Casting my eyes around at the simple, yet cozy décor of the restaurant before I lock onto a TV screen that's showing the news.
'Firestorm over Vader Continues'
The audio is lowered too much for me to catch what the telecaster is saying before the video feed flips to security camera footage—
No, look away. Won't help you any.
I move to sip my own water before reaching out through the Force and detect Sabine's focus on me. Casually, I glance up as I sip my water as she looks my way.
A stare turns into a pleasant expression followed by me setting my water down and Sabine going for her phone.
…
She's stalling.
…
"Ezra?" Sabine asks, her voice coming out a touch shaky. "Can we, can we talk about this summer? Before our food gets here?"
No.
"I guess." I gesture aimlessly before glancing at her. "From where I sit, most of it's already taken care of."
That's a lie. But it's the best I could come up with.
Because I really don't want to talk to Sabine about—
"No." Sabine shakes her head vigorously. "No…it's not. Just because that red-skinned demon monster is captured doesn't mean it's over. I, uhm, I screwed up this summer Ezra. I really did."
This.
"From how I see it, it's mostly fixed. And what's not fixed, I kind of have to go through official channels for." I reply casually.
Sabine frowns at me for a moment. "I—I'm not talking about that right now. I'm talking about you, Ezra. You and me. Ezra and Sabine."
"You know I'm bad at that." I joke lightly.
"I know." Sabine flashes a weak smile at me. "Okay, uhm…I—This summer is all my fault. All my fault. We were fine that first couple of weeks, you went off to work for Organa, I was working at soccer, everything was great. We were great."
Then came the Vader drop and the mandatory silence to ensure that I stay hidden.
"Then Kanan called me and told me that you couldn't talk for a week. Nothing serious, just that with the Vader news, the Jedi High Council thought it was best for all Jedi agents to lay low. Stay silent. Which is fine, that's…I understand that. I want you to be safe Ezra."
If that doesn't happen, I can keep in touch with her and maybe—
"Now this is where it becomes my fault Ezra." Sabine continues. "I got busy, with work and life at home and friends. I…I never got back in touch with you, which is my fault. You're super busy as it is, and especially then. And you always keep up with me, so the one time you need me to pull my end of the rope, I was a horrible friend in return. That's my fault and—I'm, I'm sorry."
"Everybody's busy. Don't be so hard on yourself. Thank you though Sabine." I reply.
I didn't want to talk either. I'm the one who made no move to talk to Sabine, letting our texts go cold.
I'm the one who got sucked up into the Vader vortex and disappeared.
"Exactly, that's my point. Everyone's busy. But that's not it though Ezra." Sabine's tone vacillates again, to more unsteadiness. "I, I meant to ask after dinner last week but I forgot. Where's Cayle? I, I owe him maybe as big an apology as I owe you."
"You don't owe me anything." I swat away the concept. "And he's at an unspecified secure location. He's fine."
—
…
That was the wrong thing to say.
Sabine shifts across from me and exhales through her nose. "I'm not going to tell anybody, Ezra! So drop the bullshit."
"It's not bullshit!" I shut her down. "I don't know. He's on a mission."
I'm not telling you.
If the Council sent Cayle to Turkey and leaned on the traditions of the Trials to obscure that…
Something's in Turkey. And I know Cayle will find out what. So I just have to be patient.
"Doing what?"
"I don't know." I lie. "I—"
"Ezra—"
My temper ignites instantly as I look over at Sabine, as she's cut me off ONCE AGAIN before I force myself to lean back.
Breathe Ezra…Br—
No…Use it to focus. Focus and find the beskar. Use your anger—
Jerkily, I grab my water and pull it to me so I can sip it. The Force releases a tremor across from me—
Sabine.
Explain it, Ezra.
"I can't explain it if you keep cutting me off. Sorry, Sabine." I apologize for the expression that surely showed on my face.
Sabine smiles at me a little too quickly. "You're right. I…I did the same thing on Wednesday. I have to stop doing that. I'm sorry, it's rude and a bad habit. Go ahead with what you were saying."
And here we are again.
You are getting nowhere near her. I—
You usually have mastery of yourself enough to enslave me for weeks without issue. Look! You're weak! You are becoming WEAKER because of her.
And you're only here because of how I'm allowing her to get under my skin. So…
I make a conscious effort to close my eyes and feign a stretch while trying to release all my anger towards Sabine out into the Force, which thankfully accepts it without protest.
"Officially I don't know where Cayle is. The call on Thursday? That was only because of that party. I'm not supposed to know, nobody is."
"For his safety." Sabine nods to show she understands. "That's fine Ezra, all I want is for Cayle to be safe."
That's a lie, you hate his guts.
"I, I know that face. You call BS. I need to explain this too. I, uhm…I got the wrong impression of how badly you were hurt over the phone. By Cayle."
"Sabine, I'm fine now." I dismiss the topic. "I couldn't have been active last week if…all that still bothered me. I'm fine."
"But it still doesn't excuse me yelling at him though. I—I thought, I don't know how, that you were basically trapped against a wall and used the beskar to bargain for your life. Which I know sounds ridiculous to you but—"
That…
Is probably the most wrong thing I've ever heard. A Sith would never consider such an action. She doesn't even know who you ARE!
"—only way I could picture you not only losing, because like I said, you're great, but losing my beskar. Because I know you know how valuable it is, not just to me."
I know Mand'alor is probably on top of her Mom, pressuring her for answers. Her family is disgraced and shamed. Her House's standing has been lowered throughout all this.
"I—" Sabine swallows, looking a little choked up suddenly. "I never should have lashed out and yelled at you like I did. I know you won't say it, but Jaicey said you did."
Shit. I never should have let them get me relaxed and drunk off catered Mexican food. Matt said I finally vented on Sabine. I really don't remember it at all.
"The night they trapped me with food like this?" I motion around and try to loosen the ice surrounding our conversation. "I see what you're doing Sabine."
Sabine giggles for a moment, but quickly sobers up and moves to rub her bare arms. "Are you cold? I didn't feel the AC when we first sat down."
"No, I'm fine."
"I might duck out to your car and grab my hoodie if that's okay with you." Sabine says, shivering.
"Go," I say, already trying to fish out my keys. "Don't be cold. No reason."
Sabine beams at me. "Thanks. Be right back."
Taking my keys, she stands and saunters away towards the front of the restaurant, leaving me with my silence.
…
…
That was me.
No. That was ME.
(Flashback)
"Eyewitnesses claimed that the room's temperature dropped ten degrees before the attack came, but no damage to the facility's thermostat was discovered…" Dad reads from a newspaper before folding it and setting it aside to peer at Elias and I.
"They feel…you boys. When properly aligned with the Dark Side of the Force, your very essence becomes tangible. That is what they felt. They felt your power in the Dark Side. Very well done boys…very well done."
(End Flashback)
Let's say hi to Sabine again.
No. You…you are only strong because of Sabine.
So I have to weaken that. That's what I have to do.
You don't want to do that. Removing yourself from Sabine would hurt you more than me.
I don't have to remove myself from Sabine. I just have to find a different way of severing that Vader/Sabine tether.
The chime of a bell rings out, and my Probe confirms that Sabine's back, just before I see her appear thru the beam of sunlight through one of the windows.
I just don't understand why she chose that color for her hair. It really does suck, almost like a mistake with the purple streak.
And did she really even work out this summer or do anything athletically?
She looks small, tentative, and vulnerable.
I swear she was taller when I last saw her too.
Sabine smiles at me, a black USC Women's Soccer hoodie covering the tank-top she was wearing before. "Nice timing, drinks are here…" Our waitress announces herself before setting a tray down with my tea and Sabine's lemonade that she ordered. "Now do we know what we want to order?"
"I do." Sabine proclaims, buying me time to look at the menu and pick out the fajitas. Halfway through my order to the waitress, however, my phone vibrates and Sabine's simultaneously chimes.
"—and I'll be back with your food! Don't forget your texts!" She teases both of us.
I play along and smile as Sabine fiddles with the sides of her phone. "It's nothing, it's Jaicey."
"What'd she say?"
Sabine hesitates, then her eyes narrow at her phone. "…Do you remember the name of that girl on the Dark Web that JJ talks to?"
"Daisy, yeah. Why, did Jaicey mention her?"
If she did she could be coming here.
And she helps run one of the largest hacktivist organizations on the planet.
"Yeah, she says that she's in town and coming to actually meet JJ in person." Sabine reads before her head pops up. "They've never met?!"
No. She lives in Austin, Texas with her boyfriend, Miles.
"Guess not. She's here?"
She's hunting Vader.
"Apparently. They're buying food, Jaicey says JJ already volunteered you to grill out. I don't know, I might not go."
"Wait, why not?" I ask while unlocking my own phone to see the text.
The Force releases a tremor coming from Sabine before she replies "She's mad at me about Ryan."
"That's not her business." I blurt out.
She can butt right out.
It's Sabine's business.
Sabine meanwhile, makes an unsure noise then replies "She, uhm, the day we ate at Hera and Kanan's. She banged down the door at Phi Psi and dragged me out at like 7 AM and ran me."
WAIT WHAT?!
"You didn't know this?" Sabine reads my expression of disbelief.
"No!"
Sabine laughs darkly. "Yeah. Called that night 'conduct detrimental to the team', benched me for the tune-up scrimmage tomorrow and probably the opener. And then ran me until I think I puked up all the alcohol from that night. Which really wasn't much, I only had one or two drinks. I wasn't drunk."
"I know—"
"—so I don't want you to think I'm making excuses." Sabine plows right through my stop sign before I see her catch herself and get choked up.
Whoa.
The Force warns me just as I reach out and grab her under the table by the knee. "Hey…it's okay."
Sabine instantly shakes her head. "No….no it's not. I…" She stops talking, only to start blinking rapidly.
No, let's not cry, please.
I try and infuse some confidence to Sabine through the Force before smiling at her. "I shouldn't have said what I said either. You bumped me as I turned. I was running hot because I was freaking out about you and keeping you safe."
"I was freaking out about you. I've only seen you like that once before, and—"
Yeah.
"I told you." I smile, recalling a memory months ago over my pillows. "I kind of have to become a bit of a different guy when I have to do that part of my job. It's always been part of it."
And she understands that not everyone can do that.
I'm good at compartmentalization if nothing else.
"Thank you, again. I didn't, I wasn't trying to be difficult. But I meant what I said." Sabine says gently before her tone rises at the end.
"I know you do. But if it's a question of keeping you safe or not, that's not a choice. Sorry it was so rough. Everything happened really quick, I didn't really have time to think through it too much."
Sabine's expression brightens. "No, that was brilliant. I, I didn't hear about it until Jaicey was driving me to soccer and checked my phone the next morning. It worked, I, just…"
She slept with him.
"Ryan's just my friend. He wants more, I know he does. He's—" Sabine stops herself and laughs. "He's not nearly as tactful as you Ezra. But he's just my friend right now."
…
Sucks to be him.
"Jaicey yelled at me about that too. My Instagram post, saying the whole thing was a well-disguised shot at you, which—"
It was.
"—I, I didn't mean it as bad as it came off. I, uhh, I don't know if you've checked it recently. But I edited it."
"No, haven't checked." I shake my head, then sip my tea.
Why would I check that post?
Sabine seems to collect her words before speaking again. "You know that I was mad, I don't have to say that. I really wanted you to come out Ezra, because I want you to meet my family and show you the city and…spend time with you. At home. And…since you had to go be a hero and get hurt, the Jedi wouldn't allow you to come."
"I got hurt!" I defend myself. "And it's protocol. It wasn't anything personal towards you."
"That's the problem with the Jedi Ezra. They're not personal. They're cold, indifferent for the most part. Kanan's great, everybody I've met is great…but like with this Vader stuff? They're not answering anything to anybody!"
"I'm sure that's a very complicated situation." I vamp.
Sabine huffs out a breath. "Complicated…he's a maniac. Six years of quiet can't make up for who knows how many years of destruction and killing people."
I can't find the courage to speak as my stomach knots itself.
She hates you.
Well, there's a long line for that.
SHE HATES YOU!
Sabine begins citing some of the commonly known facts about me and building a case against me.
Yeah, I know. Theft, kidnapping, manslaughter, destruction of both private and federal property, trespassing, shoplifting, larceny, money laundering in multiple individuals' names.
To her they're…I don't know. Concepts. She…
I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell her.
I don't know if I can trust her enough to be honest and not keep living this…
Lie. Call it for what it is, Ezra. You're living a lie.
The Council dismissed my desire not to connect with people while I attended school. And looking back, that was probably a stupid thing to say.
But I never expected Sabine. And that's almost always a good thing.
"I think we've talked enough about all that." I gently start talking Sabine off her ledge. "It's all over the news anyway. And my work. Can we talk about your summer, what you did? I don't know, I never found out."
Sabine changes gears on a dime and smiles ta me. "Yeah, I can tell you about my summer highlights. The concerts at Lolla, oh Ezra. You should have been there. It was incredible, all three days. It made up for me skipping out on it last year…"
(Ten Hours Later)
"Hey." Jaicey hisses out to me just after Sabine exits the kitchen, plate full of grilled chicken, vegetables and potatoes.
That must be me.
I turn back, only for Jaicey to indeed be eying me. "Yeah?"
"Did uhh—" Jaicey starts, then glances at the curtain behind me. "Did Sabine tell you I ordered her to be there today?"
"Ordered?" I parrot her words.
No, she didn't.
Jaicey registers how the word sounds before clarifying. "I—the whole 'Jaicey is Captain' thing used to be a joke. It's not now. They elected me, Weber told me Monday."
"Congratulations." I smile. "Captain."
Jaicey laughs at the title before plowing ahead. "Anyway, yeah I can order her to be at that game. Everybody on the team has to do community service hours. Well, that party last week was conduct detrimental to the team, so among other things I told her she had to be at that group of youth soccer games. Be present, be active."
She wasn't the only one there. Even though all she did was hang out with us.
We saw Jaicey for a minute too. Sabine…
Didn't want to go say hi.
"So that's why you were there this morning." I presume, and Jaicey nods.
"Did she just hang out with you, or did she do what I asked her to?"
"I—" I hesitate. "She got invited. It's a long story."
The Force registers Jaicey's conflict before she follows up. "Do you think…was she a positive? Are you glad she was there?"
"Yeah." Immediately I reply. "Absolutely."
Mira was thrilled she was there. Hera and Sabine got to talk a little bit as I talked to Kanan.
The Council should be ready to speak with me by the beginning of next week. Whether it's Monday or Tuesday I don't know yet.
"Good. Then maybe I don't have to make her go in two weeks or figure out something else." Jaicey turns back to the stove and the food she's helped me cook.
Really all this was our doing. The others just talked, played games, and debated each other.
"Jaice, Sabine and I are fine. We talked."
Jaicey whips around, spoon in her hand. "And?!"
"We're fine."
We went and had lunch. That was great. Afterward, we went and hung out at my apartment for a minute as Sabine looked over all of what she stored at my place over the summer and what she's going to be toting out next week before classes start.
And now we're here.
"You talked things out. Ryan and everything." Jaicey follows up.
"Yeah, he—"
"Are you two gonna come in here and eat?!" JJ cuts both Jaicey and I off from the game room.
"Yeah!" Daisy calls out. "Quit making me feel fat with how much I've eaten already!"
"It's Grilled chicken," I reply while scooping up a plate. Jaicey hastily returns to her own. "You're not going to get fat."
"If I don't get fat I'm gonna have a food baby." She replies.
For whatever reason, this comment gets a giggle out of Jaicey before she vacates the stove so that I can get my food. "Daisy, you never told us why you came here. Other than coming to see JJ, which, I'm sorry—"
"Hey!" JJ complains before everyone else in that room laughs hysterically.
"Yeah…" Daisy calls back before Jaicey disappears behind the curtain and her tone drops. "I'm, uhh, I'm here about the whole Vader thing."