(A/N: Just as a warning, this chapter has a little more harsh language than normal. If that bothers you, I apologize. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks for reading.)
Shifting in my seat, laptop open, I disguise another Probe into the Force and get the same reaction.
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. And it's like…35% filled? 40% maybe?
On my screen, my study guide stares back at me, lines and lines and lines of text.
Question, answer. Double-space, next question, next answer.
The first sixty or so questions are scantron, followed by twenty open-ended questions.
You have to write out the correct answer. With the first sixty questions you have five options possibly: A-E.
The open-ended questions going to be the really hard part.
Something heavily drops to my left, and I glance that way and see Matt's backpack as well as the man himself gently lowering himself into his seat.
"You good?"
Matt nods. "That D-Tackle I told you that fell on my thigh that bruised it? It's getting worse before it gets better."
"You moved around okay on Monday." I reply.
He told me the story then, some 390 pound behemoth crushed him on a QB sneak. Said it hurt like a bitch, which yeah…
390 pounds.
"Moving around's okay. It's up and down out of chairs like this that hurts…and still I think I might take Taungvaloa's huge ass hitting me again over taking this test."
I laugh at Matt's attempt at humor. "That's not true. You got this. We all got this."
"Thanks for making up those flashcards for us last night. That really helped."
I shrug off the compliment. "Moment of inspiration."
I had the idea in Bio Lab seeing somebody take flashcards out of their backpack. From there I texted Cayle, who talked to A who had a set ready when I walked into the lab a couple of hours later.
After that, making them up for Sabine and Matt was as easy as asking A if I could.
"Seriously dude, you did all the work on this. I helped with like three questions. I—I didn't think it'd be as big as it is."
"How could you?" I reply. "Don't worry about it. Just…let's get good grades and not have to worry about it."
We have four, he drops the lowest one, not including the final.
"Hi." Sabine announces her presence before moving to slip past Matt and sit beside me.
"Pardon my mess…" Matt takes his bag out of the seat between us that Sabine usually sits in.
"You're fine. Hi Ezra."
"Morning." I return Sabine's smile as she settles in beside me.
"We're so dead."
"That's what I was saying." Matt quips.
With that attitude, yeah you are.
"You're not dead. You studied hard, you got good prep—"
"Because of you." Sabine cuts me off. "Thank you, by the way. So much. Did you, did you uhh do what Paulisson asked and ask for time off from Calc?"
Yeah, the test is so big that he advised us to talk to our next class, if we're taking them consecutively, and to ask for an excused late arrival. Because apparently it's hard to get through the test in an hour.
Not surprising with all the questions.
"Yeah, he told me just to take the day off. He would email me the lecture on an audio file."
Sabine suddenly lights up. "Wait, so…do you have time to eat after this?"
Actually, yeah. It wouldn't kill me to skip Film Appreciation today. It's just a discussion about this week's movie.
"Yeah. Don't you have class though?"
"Not now, no." Sabine says so quickly Matt laughs.
"Sabine—"
Sabine's expression becomes weary before she reaches out and grabs my arm. "I wanna talk to you though. Do lunch. I…" She trails off before swallowing something in her throat. "You did all the work for this." She concludes, gesturing to the laptop I'm not looking at.
"Don't worry about it." I shake my head, then peer past her to Matt. "Both of you. We're gonna get through this, the world won't end and you'll feel better."
"I blame JJ and his prophecies of doom." Matt replies. "Did you guys get his text too?"
"Yeah." Sabine nods before double-checking with me. "I think he thinks he scared us."
He did.
"And he's compensating by offering to buy dinner."
I'm not so sure about this documentary that was at some film festival and got rave reviews that he got a copy of, but…
A night off wouldn't kill me.
From what I hear.
"Anyway, y'all…" I gesture to my laptop.
I do wanna look this all over before Paulisson comes in. I have a good memory but I don't want to waste the last few minutes talking.
"Yeah, yeah…" Sabine agrees, diving for something in her backpack.
(Fifteen Minutes Later)
The Force leaps at the sound of the door at the head of the room. "Good morning class…"
Much more of a grumble goes through the room, and Paulisson loudly laughs. "You guys are going to be fine. As long as you studied…you're going to be fine. Now!" He sets his bag down finally as the TA's he alluded to on Monday start trickling in. "Bags underneath your seats. I lied on Monday about not bringing Scantrons, to everyone who forgot, YOU'RE WELCOME! And…good luck."
Oh boy.
I move to set my laptop inside of my carry bag and tuck bot that, and my backpack underneath my chair before impulsively reaching out and grabbing Sabine's knee.
She's freaking out. She doesn't think she's ready.
She is ready though.
I send positive thoughts to her through the Force as I squeeze her knee—
Sabine, without hesitating stops gathering up her things and grabs my hand, holding onto it for a split second before squeezing it.
"You're gonna be fine…" I lean over and whisper into the hair by her ear.
Don't psych yourself out.
As soon as I lean away from Sabine, Paulisson himself, with his weird muttonchop style beard appears and passes three tests to Matt. "Good luck."
"Thank you…" I reply as Sabine takes the test from Matt and moves to hand mine to me. Giving her knee one last squeeze, I accept the test from her and send more encouragement to her through the Force.
Which is rapidly deteriorating around me.
Okay…Question #1:
What cells make new bones?
Easy. Osteoclasts. C.
(Fifty Plus Minutes Later)
Popping my foot behind me, the door collides with my shoe before shutting as quietly as possible.
That…was not great.
I made it. I survived. I'll do fine.
But Paulisson must be looking to curve that test by twenty points.
I don't think you can fail half of your class in college. At some point, people do need to progress.
And there's no way the other Bio classes are like this.
I adjust my laptop bag again on my shoulder to make it more comfortable while walking towards the stairs and the parking lot—
I…did not put my phone on vibrate.
I had it on silent.
Keeping pace, I pull my phone out of my pocket, only for it to light up at the movement.
Cayle – 1 New iMessage
Tapping the notification, I push open the door and walk outside into the sun.
Still kind of feels like morning. There's a little chill in the air.
"Hey. Text me back when you're out of that test. Hope it went well."
Okay.
I type out a reply to Cayle and navigate the parking lot, walking out to my car to drop off my backpack and—
Cayle's calling me. This is weird.
"Hello." I answer.
"Hey boss. So the test went well?" He replies.
"Alright. I don't think I aced it. He worded some questions in such a way that made multiple answers possible."
"Eh." Cayle verbally shrugs it off. "I don't think anyone was expecting you to ace that class after what you've said about it."
"Don't let the Council hear you saying that…" I mutter while digging in my left pocket for my car keys.
"Anyway, are you in a good mood?"
What?
"Yeah, good enough. Why?"
"Uhm, well you have a visitor on campus today." Cayle reveals.
"Visitor? Do I know them?"
Why do I have a visitor…
I hope it's not one of Organa's people.
There's no way they'd keep my cover.
"Yeah, you do. Ahsoka and Master Dooku think it's one of your friends from the White House that were following you."
"Wait—why?"
"No clue." Is Cayle's response. "But if you're up for it, they would like you to approach her, find out what she wants."
Her.
"Yeah. I can do that. The Council wants me to do this?" I double-check.
This is far too fluid and spontaneous—
"Not the Council, it's my Master and Master Dooku and Master Skywalker mostly. Kanan too. Skywalker got approached this morning about somebody meeting with you."
"By Palpatine."
"I don't know details."
Okay.
"Okay," I reply, then drop my backpack into my passenger's seat and double-check that my laptop bag is hidden from view. "I'll go see what's what and report back. Where am I going?"
"Right back where you came from. Zum—Zoom—" Cayle begins before I cut him off.
"Zumberge. That's right where I came from."
"Yeah." Cayle agrees with me. "She's right now…second floor. There's a little waiting area right near the elevators—"
"I know where it is."
There's chairs and some tables. It's meant to be a social area. But nobody uses it.
"Oh, okay." Cayle sounds slightly embarrassed. "Text me once you're done, they want to hear what she has to say."
"It might be a little bit. I agreed to lunch with Sabine too after our test." I counter while shutting my door and locking up.
"That's fine. Lunch huh? With Sabine? That sounds nice."
"Bye." I counter, then end the call and start walking back up towards the brick lecture hall in front of me.
Why…would Palpatine send one of his people to come talk to me. And if it's who I think it is, why didn't she just text me?
You followed me for weeks last semester, you've got my number and you've texted me about non-work business before.
Why not just say 'Hey, do you have a minute? My boss wants me to talk to you.'?
Rounding the side of the building, I take the main stairs two at a time then push open the glass door and immediately glance up towards the balcony looking over the open-air lobby.
Yeah, that's Alyssa.
Casually, I drift towards the stairs then do the same thing, taking them two at a time before arriving at the second floor in a blink and popping open the door.
The lone woman seated at the faux-leather chairs glances up at the sound of the door opening, then straightens right up.
You can't jump right into asking why she didn't text. Nor—
SAY HI YOU IDIOT.
"Hi." I blurt out, then throw a wave on top of it.
Oh, that was awkward.
"Hi." Alyssa repeats back to me. "I thought…they said you had a test."
She quickly begins scrambling to gather her things before I reply. "I did. You…could have just texted me."
"I'm here…" She peers around before lowering her voice. "Officially off the record. I didn't, uhh, think you'd just show up."
"Oh, my bad. Sorry. Can I get you a coffee or something?"
Talk about it on the way maybe?
"Yeah." Alyssa agrees while piling things into her purse. "And it's just coffee. Yeah, we can do coffee."
"Great." I smile reflexively. "It's a bit of a walk, is that a problem?"
"No, that's great. That's actually perfect." She replies while getting to her feet, revealing that she's got heels on in addition to her business getup that she's got on. "Lead the way."
Okay.
Silently I motion towards the elevators and hit the button to go down. "So how was the test?"
"Alright." I shrug. "The professor is going to have to curve it. I was warned about the class before I took it. But I think I did alright."
"Why'd you take it if you knew it was bad?" Alyssa asks.
"Tried not to." I counter as the elevator arrives. "Got it anyway."
"Did you enroll late or something?"
No.
"I wasn't late, I just wasn't first on the signup sheet. Things just kind of fell that way."
"Well that stinks." She proclaims. "But you did okay on the test?"
"Yeah, I'll pass no problem." I answer dismissively as the elevator drops down.
"That's good." She replies with a smile while peering up at me. "How about your other classes?"
"Not bad. Calculus takes some work, but nothing like that Bio class. Everything else is easy." I answer as the elevator doors open.
Leading us out of the doors I just entered in, we descend the stairs with nobody around us. "So…what's going on?"
Why'd Palpatine send you across the country to come talk to me?
"Uhm, well the President wanted me to come talk to you about something Ezra. It's cool that I call you Ezra right?"
"Yeah." I laugh. "What are we talking about?"
"Well…" She immediately lets out a heavy sigh. "There's this documentary coming out in a week or so. It's…not going to be good."
"Documentary?" I repeat her.
Alyssa nods as I begin leading us to the Underground. "Some well-known guys did it, they've done some other stuff that's good. But this is another level. And it involves you."
"Okay, how?"
"Well, it's mostly about your father's human trafficking schemes and all that comes with that. There's old footage they found of you—"
WHAT?
"—masked, of course with your father and brother. There are some dramatizations to help get the point across. And tons of interviews in it. It's…"
Alyssa just sighs and I find myself biting my lip.
That is going to be bad.
"That is going to be bad."
Beside me, she somehow laughs. "Yeah. I saw it Monday after they sent an advanced copy to the White House out of courtesy."
Courtesy.
"Why'd they do that?"
"Because they've been hitting us, Congress, all sorts of levels of government, state, local—Lothal—"
Oh NO.
"—FOIA requests, asking for interviews with anyone and everyone…They know what they're doing and did their homework. And they found…"
Oh no.
"What'd they find?" I ask.
Alyssa sighs again then continues. "They found out about your father and his plan for…kids. He was training them to be like secret agent assassins—"
"I know about that." I cut her off. "Is that what most of the documentary is about?"
That's going to scare the hell out of people. They're already scared.
"Mostly, yes. They paint this picture from the moment they're 'chosen'" Alyssa air quotes herself. "And intersperses it with you and your brother and your father. The training, the brainwashing, the…experiments—"
Ahh jeez.
This is going to be really bad.
Without meaning to, I let out a sigh myself and keep walking. "This is going to be bad."
Just when things have kind of quieted down again.
"Yeah," Alyssa says, a frown firmly on her face. "They've got a deal with Netflix and everything. It's going to be everywhere in two weeks."
"Is that when it's coming out?"
She shakes her head. "It's releasing in the middle of next week. They're doing some interviews for it, marketing. It's gonna blow up."
"Yeah…it is." I agree. "And there's nothing we can do about it?"
"No. We've been trying to argue with them that now's not the time. They can of course release it. But not right now. Not when you just got off the front page and even Organa is making other arguments on the campaign trail."
Yup.
"Took the words right out of my mouth."
Alyssa lets out a dark laugh then continues. "They're not listening, of course, and are releasing it anyway. They did it with almost no interviews from our side of things. Mostly ex-officials, some state people that cooperated with them, et cetera."
"Painting just a great picture." I monotone out.
"Yeah." She nods beside me just before an idea hits me.
I need to text Sabine. Say I'm already at the Underground.
"One sec…sorry." I apologize while pulling my phone back out.
"No problem. Can I know who you're texting?"
"Sabine." I reply casually. "We're meeting for lunch. I'm telling her where to meet me."
Typing out the message as quickly as I can, I feel Alyssa's curiosity pique. "Not to get off track, but what's this about her getting a boyfriend?"
"No comment." I shake my head.
Nope. Not getting into that.
"No comment?" Alyssa echoes me, sounding almost hurt.
"Nope. No comment."
"You know that saying no comment is actually a comment right. Which—oh that reminds me."
There. Sent.
"Reminds you of…?" I distract her while tucking my phone back into my jeans pocket.
"The President also wants me to ask you something. More of a concept than anything."
"Okay…" I lead Alyssa into whatever is coming next.
"Have you ever considered doing an interview? Letting people see…" She gestures to me. "You. Who you actually are a little bit instead of the masked monster?"
"No." I reply instantly.
No no no no no no no.
"The Jedi Order would never, ever let me do an interview." I say before Alyssa can counter. "They control every word about me that is distributed publicly, and for good reason. As you know."
"They don't really distribute much but okay." Alyssa replies, sounding annoyed at the fact.
Whatever.
"Anyway, they'd never say yes to that idea. And besides, I don't want to do an interview."
I don't want to talk! To anyone!
"Ezra, they're going to tell your story anyway. This, this doc that's coming out? From everything I've heard, from my bosses to what I saw to you, it all sounds real. Like it happened. They're telling this story and making you sound like an irredeemable monster. You come out looking…awful."
"I don't think there's a way to make me exactly look good." I counter before nervously laughing.
I did a million terrible things as Vader. You can't sugarcoat that.
You shouldn't sugarcoat that.
"You're…" She sighs, then brushes her hair back as we approach the oval and where we cross for the Underground. "You don't understand. It's been six years now. More than that, since you turned yourself in. People don't know that Ezra, they don't know anything!"
"I have no control over what the Order says about me. I don't want it, and it's been made very clear to me that I don't have that power." I reply.
And probably never will either.
"But you're a good person now. People change, everyone changes over the course of six years. You…The President knows how important optics and information is. I'm sure the Jedi do too. He's just asking, the Administration is asking you, and the Jedi to please consider the idea of you doing an interview. We can find you a friendly setting, reporters that will just ask questions and let you talk—"
No.
"—and let people see beyond that mask, and everything you did, and show them that you've changed. You're different. You're past that now."
"I am, but they're never going to let me go in front of a camera. And like I told Palpatine when I met him in the Oval Office, I don't like to talk."
Alyssa sighs dramatically and gives me a look. "He said almost exactly that to me before I came to talk to you, Ezra. But…I really wish you'd consider it. Take control of the narrative instead of letting everyone else do it for you."
"I'm…not doing anything."
I don't want to talk.
"That's my point!" Alyssa says emphatically, just before I spot the railing and stairs that lead to the Underground.
"I don't suppose it'll just be you asking nicely." I assume.
If Palpatine's thought this much about it, there has to be more coming.
"No." She nods. "The President is going to ask them formally, very nicely here very soon."
"Just a heads up, they're going to say no…this is us by the way." I gesture to the stairs.
"Great." She agrees again. "Is this like your University Center? Where I went to school there's a Starbucks there too."
"No, the University Center's halfway across campus. This is the dining spot."
The good dining spot. The actual dining halls are aways away from here too.
"Anyway—" Alyssa begins just as I grab the glass door for her. "Please think about it."
I open my mouth to reply then opt not to and let Alyssa lead me right towards the barista stand.
There's no point. And I don't want to do it anyway.
We only have to wait for a lone girl, looking mildly frantic before we can place our order.
I'm getting my normal milky Frappuccino thing, she's getting a huge coffee.
"That'll be $15.76." The barista warmly informs us. At the same time, both Alyssa and I move to pay with card, only for me to fend her off and stick my card in the card reader.
Thankfully the barista laughs at the exchange and I save my joke before she asks us for our names and I keep the receipt.
"I could have paid." She says obstinately as I lead us back to a table at random.
"That would have left a paper trail that this meeting ever happened. Which, officially, I imagine it didn't." I reply, then sit down and peer over at her.
Checkmate.
With a heavy sigh, she drops her bag beside me and moves to sit down. "Fair point."
"So…what else do I need to know about this documentary."
"Well." She brushes at the table aimlessly. "You actually might not be the worst person they show on there. Do you know who Garnac Wasskah is?"
"Yeah." I quickly confirm. "I do."
He used to be a warlord in Africa. Trandoshan.
I met him.
Well, Dad met with him. I was there.
"Well these guys, the documentarians, they got access to him in his South African SuperMax and he talked."
"About?"
He was more interested in soldiers than me personally. He was intrigued by me, but Dad didn't think he valued me as much as I was worth.
"He described a meeting with your father, he mostly talked about the brainwashing and the infiltration agents I mentioned earlier. Which, with his history of child soldiers is…horrible. But he does mention you."
"I was there." I admit on a whim.
I've never really put much thought into him.
Looking back at it, I don't think Dad saw him as more than a butcher. I remember Dad's tone was derisive for parts of it.
I remember Dad telling Elias and I that he was a man who only saw his view of the world. And that made him blind.
Alyssa is giving me a nervous look before saying "Ezra—" She reaches out and grabs my arm just before I hear the barista shout.
"EZRA!"
Jumping out of my skin, I play it off and get to my feet to collect the drinks.
Easy Ezra…
I'm jumpy.
…
I didn't use to have nerves. I never used to be jumpy.
The Jedi didn't mention that part when they began considering the idea of me working to become a Jedi.
I thank the baristas behind the counter and work my way back to the table on autopilot, mind racing.
Maybe Maul was right a little bit. The Jedi have installed some weakness in me.
Emotional weakness.
I'm responsible for it though. It's my head. I have to control it.
Sliding Alyssa's drink to her casually, I sit across from her, causing her to peer up from her phone before saying "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
My straw proves uncooperative, unwilling to be freed from its paper wrapping before Alyssa says "You look lost in thought over there. You remember that guy?"
"Yeah." I nod, then sip my drink. "He's a lot more of what people think about me. He's…"
"An absolute monster. A heartless, soulless, cruel person?" Alyssa tees me up.
I—
"Yeah." I say lamely.
People think I'm an evil, terrible brute without a heart or soul or hope for redemption.
…
"I need a copy of this documentary." I tell Alyssa.
We need to get ahead of this.
"We can do that. I'll get on the horn with some of my bosses and—"
"Excuse me? Hi." I hear a familiar voice say off to my right before I turn and look—
SABINE.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Alyssa says seamlessly, as I gape at Sabine. "Are you his friend? He mentioned you guys were meeting for lunch."
"Yeah!" Sabine smiles pleasantly before extending her hand. "I'm Sabine, nice to meet you."
"It's so nice to meet you, Sabine. Let me get out of your way here…" Alyssa shakes Sabine's hand.
"You don't have to." Sabine volunteers with another smile. "I was just introducing myself."
"No, it's okay. We were just wrapping up here." Alyssa replies, gathering up all her things and her coffee in one swoop. "It was so nice to meet you, Ezra. I hope we can do this again."
She's not a bad actress.
"Me too. Nice meeting you Alyssa." I shake her hand.
Alyssa shakes my hand in return then turns to Sabine. "It's nice meeting you too. Hopefully we can chat again sometime."
"Yeah." Sabine replies just before, with a final wave Alyssa walks towards the entrance to the Underground.
Sabine was way bigger than she was. Taller by multiple inches, and Alyssa had those heels on.
"Hey." Sabine brings me back to reality just as she sits down in Alyssa's spot. "What was that all about?"
"Work thing. No big deal." I say dismissively, then sip my drink.
Sabine's eyebrows instantly snap down as she sets her backpack down beside her. "What work thing? She didn't look…like a work thing."
Shit—uhh—
"You remember that thing I told you about. Down here, in the hall? About those meetings?"
C'mon. Buy it.
BUY IT.
Sabine looks at me, blank-faced before she lights up. "Oh, yeah! Was…that part of that?"
"Yeah. She just wanted to meet for coffee. Talk about some things, internships, and stuff. Apparently they start early."
"That's what I heard right at the end there. I didn't mean to break it up. Sorry." Sabine gives me a small smile.
"Nah." I give her a wave. "We were just about done anyway. Speaking of…what do you think? How'd you do?" I change subjects on Sabine.
C'mon…
The Force around Sabine immediately vibrates with uncertainty before she makes an uncertain face. "I wish you'd stayed longer. I felt like the moment you left, I lost half my brain. It…was a lot."
"Yeah." I agree with a nod. "It was. I'm sure he'll curve it though. You'll be fine."
Sabine's face stays the same before she nervously picks at a defect in the table. "I don't know…that…I don't think I passed Ezra."
"It'll be fine." I reassure her.
This is her nerves talking. And her stomach.
"Let's get some food then talk more about this. Okay?" I suggest. "What are you hungry for?"
(Hours Later)
Sabine's SUV isn't here.
That's weird. She said she'd be here.
Jaicey will probably want to kill her if she bails after they ordered in all this food.
Opening the front door to Jaicey and JJ's house, I walk in and catch idle conversation floating through the halls.
That sounds like they're coming from the kitchen.
Walking through the windy hall that leads to the back of the house, the voices only get louder before I hear Sabine's voice.
Okay. She is here. Must have gotten a ride with Jaicey.
"—I'll mention it to him tomorrow. You told me about it right away, I know firsthand how tough that class is since JJ had to fight through it. Plus, you've got Ezra to help you. Maybe spend some more time with—"
Apparently having heard my footsteps, Sabine turns just as I move to walk into the kitchen. "Ezra!"
"Hi," I reply with a smile, just before Sabine hustles over and hugs me. "I heard my name."
"I was telling Jaicey about how bad that Bio test was." Sabine replies as I return the hug and free Sabine up to sit back down on the chair she's got set up in the kitchen.
"It was bad." Matt appears from behind the curtain. "Brutal."
"But—" Jaicey brightens the mood in the room. "—I know for a fact he always curves his tests. I remember JJ saying how weird his grading system is, probably to help more people pass. And he drops the lowest one. So even if you did bomb, okay. Study harder for the next three."
Sabine doesn't look too encouraged before Matt turns to Jaicey. "By the way, JJ says that the delivery is apparently 'imminent' according to that app."
"Great." Jaicey beams.
Make yourself useful Ezra.
Knowing where the plates are, I move to grab them out of the cabinets and pass them to Jaicey before moving for the silverware. "What did you guys order?"
"Fajitas, soft tacos, hard shell tacos, a full order of chips and queso…" Jaicey lists off.
"Sounds amazing." I comment, then turn right into Sabine just as she's coming to help me. "Sorry."
"No, my fault. Sorry." Sabine, says before taking the forks out of my hands stiffly and turning back towards the island.
The awkwardness is broken up by three knocks on the door, followed by a shout of "I GOT IT!" from JJ just before he bursts through the curtains towards the door. "Oh, hi Ezra."
"Hi—"
"Easy!" Jaicey yells after her boyfriend as he nearly runs face-first into a corner before pivoting towards the hall and the front door.
Without a word, Sabine takes the spoons from me and asks "Do you think we need anything else…?"
"No." Jaicey shakes her head. "Just tongs and maybe a large spoon to dish things out of. But I got those."
Drinks are in the garage probably.
"I'll grab a drink. Drink?" I turn to Sabine.
Sabine turns to me and smiles before replying "Sure, I'll come with you. See what they have."
"Not much more than normal. I haven't gone to the store all week."
Probably been too busy.
Sabine and I retreat down the hall JJ just hustled through, only to bump into him with two large paper bags full of food. "Excuse me…" he says before slipping past us.
"That smelled really good." Sabine comments when we reach the door to the garage.
"Yeah. Are you hungry?" I ask, flipping on the light and revealing the messy garage, with enough room for JJ and Jaicey's cars to be squeezed in.
"Yeah. Glad we had those sandwiches for lunch instead of those Mexican bowls."
True.
"Thanks again for letting me come over and do my art stuff at your place. I, uhh, didn't get to make it over today."
"That's cool." I reply, having grabbed a soda before stepping aside so Sabine can peruse the fridge. "Busy practice?"
I heard a lot of whistles coming from their practice fields.
"Sort of. The defensive players had a tough time. Couldn't contain me or anyone. So it was stop and start and stop and start."
"Sounds like you played well."
Sabine's head pops back out of the fridge, smile on her face. "Yeah. I'm in a really good groove right now. Oh, that reminds me. Thanks for coming on Friday by the way."
"Sure. No big deal." I wave away the compliment.
She noticed.
I can't hide a smile as I turn back towards the house at large before Sabine continues. "It kind of is. You were there and Ryan wasn't. Even though he tried to say he was."
"I never saw him, but I wouldn't say he wasn't there." I reply diplomatically.
The Force spontaneously surges with irritation from Sabine before she says "I can look in the crowd. I saw you, I saw some other people. I didn't see him. And I knew he was at the House getting drunk like normal."
That sounds like shots fired.
"I thought you played great." I grab the door again for Sabine. "The offense works better with you out there."
"I just try to keep the ball moving, keep the energy going. Friday I got lucky."
Ball found her twice basically.
"Are you talking about Friday against Utah?" Jaicey assumes as we are walking back into the kitchen to find it much more crowded.
Daisy's here.
"Yeah. Hi." I wave in her direction.
Daisy reciprocates the wave as I feel Sabine slide right next to me as JJ and Jaicey are building out their plates. "Ball don't lie. I thought Sabine played great. Not as good as Sunday but still great."
"What happened Sunday?" Matt asks innocently. "I saw you won 3-1 but nothing else."
"She scored all three goals. Mostly on her own." Jaicey says proudly before turning and smiling at Sabine.
Oh wow.
"Hell yeah girl." Daisy comes over and high-fives Sabine before I reflexively move to hug her from the side.
Sabine settles right into my hug and wraps her arms around me for an instant before Matt asks "How many goals is that on the year now?"
"Ten in…five games?" Jaicey answers, sounding unsure.
"Yeah," Sabine confirms as Jaicey moves aside and allows Daisy to gain access to the food. "I came on in reserve in the fifth. Sat out three."
"That sounds dumb that you got sat out in three then." Daisy proclaims, scooping out a massive amount of rice out of an aluminum container.
Sabine makes a non-committal noise and a shrug before Matt asks Jaicey something. "Sounds like Sunday was better than Friday to me. Sorry I wasn't there."
It was down in Berkeley. Not too far.
I could have made it if I wanted to.
"One was a good pass from Jaice, one I was trying to just get it in the box in a good spot and flushed it. The last one—"
"The poor girl needs ankle braces. Sabine broke her." JJ reveals before ushering us forward. "Go get food."
"Go superstar." I prod Sabine in the back, propelling her forward and getting Sabine to giggle and squirm to get away from me.
Haven't heard that laugh in a minute.
I knew Sabine was playing well, but damn.
Ten goals in only four full games is crazy.
Daisy finishes loading up her plate, allowing me to sidle up behind Sabine and start filling a plate up with a couple of tortillas, fajitas, and peppers, some cheese, guac, and sour cream along with a little bit of all of the sides before following the flow of people into the entertainment room.
"So what's this documentary that we're…"
MY LUCK CANNOT BE THIS BAD.
On the left half of the screen, my mask, Elias' featureless and blank mask with the exception of the completely black, blank eyes have been blended together. Looming over both of us is Dad's mugshot, sinister and sneering, a look of absolute conviction in his eyes. And in the background of that lies the backdrop of the ancient Sith Empire's battle insignia, a simple white circle with jagged red, almost triangles protruding around it in four separate directions.
'Undetectable Influence': Sidious, Vader, Tyranus and the Secret That Threatens Today
"See?" Jaicey turns to JJ. "Told you. You're a parody of yourself."
"Babe." JJ placates his girlfriend before turning and smiling at me. "It's supposed to be great."
"Yeah." Daisy backs JJ up. "My boyfriend knows one of the producers that helped these guys show in Toronto at their big Indie film festival It ran away with the 'Best Documentary' category."
"Just give it a chance." JJ asks Jaicey as I keep looking at the screen.
Looks like I'll be able to report on the doc in person tomorrow.
This is going to be bad.
"Sit down." Daisy instructs me, and I come to, realizing that I'm starting right by the curtain, plate in hand, staring at the screen like a weirdo.
Habitually, I turn to the couch and see Sabine as she's scooting over to make room for me to sit by her.
This is going to be really bad.
"—know you'll watch it like ten times. So I guess I'll watch it now." Jaicey says to JJ. "You're lucky I like you."
"I'm the lucky one. And it's supposed to be really good."
Doing my best, I make my way over to Sabine and sit beside her, getting a content smile out of Sabine, whose mouth is full of food before Daisy asks where the controller is to start the documentary.
I can do this.
I walked through a frothing crowd screaming for my arrest.
I faced Palpatine. I faced Organa. I've had the High Council dress me down for what I did.
The Force registers more irritation from Jaicey as she mixes up her food.
Eat Ezra.
The sound of a large metal door groaning and creaking open, followed by indistinct, muffled sobbing—
In an instant, high-pitched and terrified screams pierce the air and I can't help but turn and look to my TV as a chilling scene is unfolding.
No…
(Flashback)
Dad steps out of the dark car, leading the way for Elias and I. Dutifully, I follow him out of the car as screams echo all around us.
Masks on, don't leave his side.
(End Flashback)
The security footage of Dad leading Elias and I out as armed soldiers are swarming the darkened dock before it cuts back to the dramatic recreation.
"NO NO NOOOO!" A clearly older sibling is screaming desperately before his younger sister is torn out of his hands. In the process—
(Flashback)
A teddy bear is face down in a smelly puddle as the screaming continues and Dad continues walking. Past the screaming and yelling and all the desperation—
(End Flashback)
"The best girls may begin learning their lives newest profession." A gruff voice orders a soldier.
You're not him. You're not even close. You're not even one iota of—
"—rest can best be utilized in the normal variety of ways in the factories. For the boys, sort through the most physically fit. We can use them for their physical labor. The weakest I'll take for my own purposes."
That's not what he said.
Spontaneously, one of the youths of all ages being lined up breaks away from Dad's soldiers and—
The footage cuts from the recreation to the security footage, just as the girl breaks for freedom. But before she can get five steps, she's grabbed by an invisible force while Dad turns to his right and says something.
To me.
I grabbed her. And—
Hand still raised, I march over to the runner, call my lightsaber right into my hand before raising it, igniting it and—
The video cuts back to the recreation long enough to show my red blade, raised before it cuts back and I follow through, cutting right through the girl right around her neck—
Horrified screams pierce the speakers as her body hits the ground, her head and neck a half-second after just before the musical score kicks back in, a somber piano piece before it cuts back to the recreation—
I pace back and forth, lightsaber blade pointed up towards the sky as I stalk the terrified crowd, taming them by fear—
They've got somebody older playing me. They're screwing up my age.
Blinking, I realize that I'm just sitting here, fork hovering before I jolt into action in time to see Matt glance back at me—
Yeah…that happened.
On the TV, the recreation gets a close-up shot of me, mask almost a sneer as I'm gazing at the separation of brothers and sisters, breaking families already broken even further apart while the screams continue and the music plays on.
It cuts back to the security footage for a moment as the separation continues, long enough to verify, once again that this did happen before it goes back to the recreation and soldiers and pushing people to their final destinations.
I don't know what happened after this to most of them…
Just the ones that came back to Lothal with us.
They died.
The scene continues before being interspersed with the name of the director, producer before the names of several actors I don't know pop up—
I don't know who is playing Dad.
Or me.
Dad begins leading Elias away, arm around his shoulder as children are being shepherded into trucks. Another name flashes onto the screen, followed by a jump cut—
Police sirens override the musical score, and are bumped by the visual of a local news station—
Oh no way…
(Flashback)
Opening up the front door as fast as I can, I rush inside and close the door behind me. "Mom?!"
"In here sweetie!" Mom calls back to me, clearly in the living room.
Rushing in, I see that she's watching the local news as a woman monotones about something before Mom turns around on the couch and smiles at me. "Hi! How was school today?"
(End Flashback)
"A massive raid occurred today, here in the heart of Lothal, Texas—" The familiar female voice says in the clip, clearly pulled from some archives. "—a Sith Lord, undercover in our community. A three and a half-mile perimeter around the home of suspected Sith Lord Darth Sidious, living amongst us—"
Where in the hell did they get that…
I haven't heard that voice…
Well, since I left. Before, even…
The sirens continue as the local news footage continues, showing my old house surrounded on all sides by Black SUV's. The footage cuts to a clip of Master Skywalker standing next to an SUV door, blocking something from view.
Him.
"—living under false identities, raising a family right under the nose of law enforcement—"
"—and he isn't the only ones. Unconfirmed reports claim that Sidious' family isn't the only family there under his command—"
"—could be just this street, could be the neighborhood, for all we know he could have controlled half the city." A man in a police uniform says, clearly being interviewed. "We don't know how long they're going to hold everyone here. We've never seen anything like this before."
More names flash up on the screen as behind them, the sights of Lothal citizens, some afraid, others confused, even more still being led out in handcuffs into police cars as the musical score transitions into a drumbeat.
"—still getting a handle on the situation. We will be having no further comment at this time." A member of the Order says, a bank of microphones in front of his face before the assembled press begins yelling questions, almost as one in such a fervor before the scene cuts to—
Yup.
Barren rooms, clearly underground and harshly lit follow the press conference setting.
This is a recreation—
A bald girl, whose hair has been shaved off gets a white sheet draped over her, to hide the corpse before the camera zooms out and shows a room full of tables draped in white sheets.
But…that's also real.
Dad's mugshot flashes up on the screen, followed by—
"But there were those who would set us against one another, and we took up arms to defend our way of life." Palpatine says, standing at a podium bearing the Presidential seal. "In so doing, we never suspected that the greatest threat came from within. And today, once again we have come to find that the greatest threats…can come from within our own house."
The screen harshly cuts from Palpatine's speech to a still photo of a group of men led by former President Valorum, all in suits walking up towards an unknown destination. Helpfully, two circles pop up, circling—
Laufey and my father, both with longer hair. Both in the back of the delegation.
Being the puppet masters pulling strings.
"They had hoped to grind our great Republic into ruin. But the hatred in their hearts could not be hidden forever." Palpatine's speech continues. "Today, I am pleased to announce the successful capture—"
Another cut to me.
"—of suspected Sith Lord Darth Vader—"
Dad.
"—as well as his Master, Darth Sidious."
Footage of an older explosion, presumably from Vietnam fills the screen as Palpatine continues. "—Sidious, is confirmed to have had a hand in tens of thousands of deaths—"
Mutilated, desecrated bodies dumped on a battlefield, some robed replaces the bombing images. "—of the US and her allies, as well as the deaths of over twenty thousand Jedi, in the military operation…known as Order 66…"
The footage jumps back to pictures, of my father and President Clinton walking off of a helicopter together, looking very friendly towards each other before my father's face gets circled. Lingering long enough, it jumps to a group of diplomats seated around a table.
Red mark, red mark, red mark, he's dead too…
Another still photo, this time of Dad with what clearly are late-stage Soviet officials. His face gets circled again before the photo zooms out to reveal Laufey, who gets circled—
You missed Gideon.
The next photo is a still of Reagan's attempted assassination, followed by a clip of soldiers from the waist down, snapping to attention.
"The remaining Sith and their allies will be hunted down and defeated!" Palpatine says, in a tone I've never heard from him before, which is accompanied by a shot of another Soviet official.
Another circle for Dad. That's Brezhnev.
A black screen with a red map of the world flashes onto the screen, followed by X's on some locations and circles on others.
They—that's accurate. Some of it at least.
I've been to some of the spots on that map.
The music becomes clear enough to catch a lyric about gifts and being blessed, before the scene cuts again to banks of computer screens, each playing the same video, in near synchronicity as in front of the screens sit kids with juice boxes beside each of them.
(Flashback)
Stopping in front of Aubrey, I watch through the one-way glass as she, like everyone else around her continues watching the videos.
OW!
Pain shoots through my left ear, and I turn and see Elias walking past me, smirking.
Shut up.
(End Flashback)
"—evidence of brainwashing."
"Kids aged anywhere from seven to sixteen, being indoctrinated with Sith teachings and ideologies."
"—no paperwork, some don't even know where their parents are or who they could possibly be." A man in a suit and tie says, looking like one of the old Sunday political talk shows.
Pictures start popping up, of Lothal schools, of kids around Christmas trees before the visual harshly cuts to a map of the world and the man who is supposed to be playing my father looking over it—
Another cut, to more officials. Another red circle appears, of my father in the back of the group. The shot zooms in on them, revealing a younger associate, no older than their early twenties before an effect of a security camera locking in on the younger face pops up.
Soldiers snap to attention, followed by shots of a war in a desert-like setting before the transitions start coming fast and furious.
A group of children playing, followed by an oil refinery on fire, followed by Elias, then me, then Sidious then—
A green road sign.
Lothal, Texas.
(Over an hour later)
"One of the few individuals to see the fruits of Sidious' project is a man known almost by all. If not his name, you know his deeds as the leader of child soldiers, instructing them to murder, rape, enslave and terrorize the peoples of mid-Africa for over twenty-five years."
Garnac.
Beside me, Sabine shifts closer to me and I adjust my arm, which has become draped over her shoulder to be more comfortable.
"—but in order to do so, we had to enter South Africa's most dangerous SuperMax prison, Pretoria Central Prison."
The documentary cuts to the two documentarians dramatically walking down cell blocks before shifting to a shot of Garnac Wasskah, clearly chained to a table.
"We appreciate you willing to speak with us Mr. Wasskah. They said you've spent some of your time in here learning English?"
"Yes, I have." The Trandoshan says back, the trademark hiss of his people still audible.
"Well that will make this a lot easier."
"I imagine you have a great many questions for me." Wasskah pops off.
Shut it.
"Tell us about your meeting with Darth Sidious."
"Ahh yesssss…what do you want to know?"
"What happened?" One of the documentarians asks.
"We've got security camera footage of the meeting, but we're curious what you noticed." The other adds.
"How much did you pay for thattt…?"
He's asking the right question.
"Answer the question." The documentarian returns fire.
"I noticed his vast experience in the market of young soldiers. He wanted to know more about how I led mine, how to help him I would imagine with his."
"Did you see his soldiers?"
Wasskah hesitates for a few moments. "Depends, are you classifying his son as such?"
"As a child soldier?" The documentarian asks, just before a still appears of the screen of Sidious talking to Wasskah, with me a few steps behind my father.
"Sure."
"His father refused to let me get too close to him…said that I wouldn't value him as much as he was worth."
Yeah. You would have just seen me as another weapon in an arsenal. Not as a Sith.
"He protected him."
"I would not say protected." Garnac counters quickly. "His other son, the one that is not capturedddd…he wasn't there."
"What's your point?"
"Even at that point in my life, parents knew not to bring their children within sight of me. Sidious was attempting to tempt me."
"Tempt you?"
"By showing me something he was not willing to part with, but showing Vader that men like me existeddd…it widened his world."
"So you think he played you." One of the documentarians states plainly.
"No. A deal was made…He needed more young men and women for the research he was doing. He had…specificsss that he required. And few people were in that market."
"Do you recall some of the specifics?"
"Children…he said to me 'If there is anything the world has a surplus of…it is children.' He wanted children who would not be missed, children who had endured trauma and emerged stronger. Children who maybe performed magnificent, spectacular things…"
(Flashback)
Following Dad's footsteps, he leads me into a well-lit room, at the center of it is an unknown individual with a burlap sack over their head.
"You know what you need to do…Do it, and the failure of your last mission will be forgotten."
Without a moment of hesitation, I call my lightsaber into my hand, raise it, and—
(End Flashback)
It wasn't even a mission failure.
I didn't complete it perfectly, up to his expectation. And that poor person…
I executed them. Right then and there.
"Did Sidious and Vader interact in front of you?"
"No." Wasskah shakes his head. "Sidious told him to 'Take a look around', which he didn't take advantage of. He stuck close, that mask never looking away from me."
"He kept his mask on?"
Wasskah deadpan stares at the documentarians sitting across from him. "Nobody's ever seen Vader without his mask…Not me, not you, not anyone. He is a complete and total mystery."
…
"I did notice something though." Wasskah volunteers.
"And what's that?" One of the documentarians chums the waters.
"I've seen children of every age…boy, girl, gay, straight, non-binary or whatever distinction they've come up with now…the boy, Vader? He is not as old as everybody believes…"
"What makes you say that?" The other peppers him.
"All anybody's seen is security footage. Very few survivors can describe him, right? Tall, yes. Not physically strong, especially the boy's legs—"
Stop describing me like that you slaver scum.
Not developed enough for you?
Disgusting ass.
"We interviewed more people than anyone in the Lothal school system. Everyone from elementary schools to the high schools—"
"Oh have you?" Wasskah interrupts them. "Then I'm sure you found him."
"No." The dark-haired, more business-like of the two replies. "Sidious hid him better than you hid your army of soldiers. No disciplinary records…no trace. Of any kind. We couldn't find him."
You haven't been able to positively ID any of them. And the ones you did, they were minors and the government didn't consent to the doc.
These guys are just scaring people.
Granted, it's all true…but they're just telling what they could find of the story.
And scaring people.
(Less than an hour later)
"—thanks for having us." I smile at Jaicey as I grab the door for Matt, Daisy, and Sabine.
"You're welcome. You sure you don't mind dropping her off?" Jaicey asks Matt as he descends the front steps.
Matt waves away Jaicey's concerns. "Nah. I got it."
And I'm taking Sabine home.
"Night." Sabine waves to Jaicey, who returns in kind before closing the exterior door and moving to close the main wooden door.
Turning back, I see Daisy and Matt in what looks like a casual conversation and start digging into my pockets to unlock my car.
With a wave of my own, I say farewell to Matt who does the same before Sabine and I pile into my car without a word.
She did not enjoy that documentary.
Her anxiety levels rose during that whole credits scene and stayed that way.
Whatever I took from her and released into the Force, the documentary gave her more to worry about within a minute.
Turning the key, I move it into reverse and start backing out of the driveway—
Shit, my podcast is playing.
As quickly as I tapped the accelerator, I hit the brakes and quickly turn the radio down to its lowest setting. "Sorry about the brake check." I joke lightly.
I know Sabine doesn't want to hear about the election and current events right now.
"It's okay. You can turn that back on if you want." Sabine replies.
That came out too neutral.
I quickly glance at her before completing my maneuver and begin navigating my way through JJ's neighborhood.
"Nah, I know you don't want to listen to that. You can throw on some music or something if you want."
Sabine's signature through the Force pulses before she makes an uncertain sound. "My music's not hitting me right right now."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Oh, nothing is catching me. The stuff I like isn't bringing me the same joy. It's weird. I'm just not in a music mood right now." Sabine replies, sounding down about it.
"I'm sorry."
Sabine quickly replies "It's okay. I imagine it'll be temporary. It's happened before."
"When? Music's always been important to you I thought." I ask while coming to a complete stop at a stop sign.
"It has been. But sometimes I just hit a block with it. And some of the stuff I like Ryan isn't a fan of. But that's okay because some of the music he likes is trash too. It even out." Sabine explains, not looking up from her phone.
Who cares what he thinks.
If you like it, Sabine, then that's all that matters.
The two of us fall into silence, the hum and purr of my engine pretty much the only noise around us as I escape the quiet neighborhood.
…
Coming to the last stop where I make a right to get onto a bigger road, I disguise my Force Probe by strumming my fingers on the wheel and pretending to check for oncoming traffic.
She…feels like she's conflicted.
I feel a lot of inner turmoil right now.
…
…
"You okay over there? You seem quiet. That doc didn't get to you, didn't it?"
"No…" Sabine quickly shakes her head. "I mean, yes." She then quickly corrects herself. "The idea of Darth Sidious training hundreds, maybe even thousands of kids to be black ops assassins and killers is pretty awful."
"That documentary seemed to exaggerate some things. They didn't mention that President Palpatine, the Jedi and I'm sure others have been working to catch a lot of those people."
The doc didn't make any strong conclusions about how many are out there right now.
"I'm sure it's fine." I conclude my point, then reach over and squeeze Sabine's knee in an effort to reassure her.
There's nothing you can do about it, so don't worry about it.
Yeah, but you can do something about it.
My grip on the wheel tightens before I play it off by double-checking the intersection we're approaching.
Little bit further until I hit Exposition and Jefferson Boulevard. Then it's a straight shot.
"I, uhh—" Sabine begins before the Force around her positively quakes. Without meaning to, I glance over to her.
"Yeah? What's up?" I smile over at her.
C'mon. You can talk to me.
"Uhm…I've never asked you. You're…not involved in any of that, are you?"
Oh.
"What do you mean?" I follow up.
The Force around Sabine trembles again before she replies "I—You never mentioned what the Jedi have you do, exactly. Or why they picked you to join them."
"Oh." I try to reply nonchalantly. "I just took some tests when I was approaching middle school and apparently did well enough that it caught the eye of the Jedi. Pretty soon they contacted my Mom and Dad and had me do more tests. And more tests until one day, Count Dooku and a couple of Jedi showed up at my house. Said that they thought I could help them rebuild the Order."
"What sort of tests? I don't think I did anything like that."
Because you're Mandalorian. You're the daughter of a Countess, leader of your House.
"Spatial recognition tests, reflexes, memory, all sorts of stuff. I forget all of them now to be honest."
Sabine quickly has a follow-up. "Is that why they let you use a lightsaber?"
"Anybody can use a lightsaber. It's a sword really. Its weight is different and feels different than other swords and weapons like that. But you don't have to be a Jedi to use a lightsaber."
Surprise flows to me through the Force. "Really?"
"Yeah." I laugh. "Really."
"I thought you had to use the Force or whatever it is. It's like a superpower I thought."
"To use a lightsaber?" I glance at Sabine. "Nah."
"Then, what is the Force?"
I smile at my windshield before we come to a halt at a red light. "What?" Sabine asks.
"One of the younglings asked me that a couple of weeks ago." I reveal to her. "I think you and JJ and everyone—" I gesture out the front of my car to the wider world. "—think it's like a power from a movie or comic book. It's not. It's energy. Created by all living things in the entire world."
"Just energy?" Sabine repeats.
I nod. "Just energy. That's all it is. Always has been there, and always will be. I don't think we know where it comes from exactly, but honestly I don't care. I just know it exists and that I trust it."
"Can you use the Force?" Sabine asks. "Is that part of those tests you took?"
"Nah." I lie with a wave. "I wish. But being a Jedi isn't all about the Force. It's about discipline, it's about the ideal. Anybody, everybody can make a difference and be great if they commit themselves and focus and train."
That's actually pretty good.
"But you believe in the Force."
YEAH!
"I do." I try not to laugh and instead smile at Sabine. "When you've seen some of the things guys like Cayle can do…it's incredible."
I remember when I first was allowed to watch a pair of Masters spar, months after I surrendered, I couldn't stop watching.
It wasn't about the killing or hurting people.
Dooku said I loved the art of it. Which I still don't know what that means.
"Then…why don't they leave you alone? You're stretched too thin, you never have any time it seems like."
"I like to stay busy, you know that." I reply before the light goes green and I tap on the accelerator. "And I like training and helping around the Temple. I—"
If I don't lose this summer, you wouldn't notice…
"What?" Sabine instantly asks. "Why'd you stop?"
Because you'll look into it too much.
Tell her to stop being so demanding.
"If I didn't lose this summer, I would have been able to take that class, lighten my load and none of this would be an issue."
Sabine lets out a breath I pick up before she replies "I'm not sure about that. If it's not one thing, it's another. They're always demanding more of you it seems like."
"I don't think so." I shake my head. "Like I said, I just like to keep busy."
It's the world that keeps demanding more and more from me.
Last year was the easy year it seems like.
Sabine doesn't seem to have a reply to that for a moment or two, and out of curiosity I let loose another probe. "Now you've gone quiet." I point out.
She's holding back something.
"I…I like Kanan. And Cayle and the Jedi. But—"
You don't like Cayle.
I know you don't.
"—it just seems like they keep squeezing you Ezra. Are you sure they have your best interests at heart? I mean…look at the Vader thing!"
"What do you mean look at the Vader thing?" I parrot her.
Why is she bringing this up?
"He's a monster!" Sabine explains. "And the Jedi just…shelter and shield him and don't let anybody talk to him after he and his dad have done so many horrible things. Are…are you sure they're good?"
"Am I sure who is good?"
What are you talking about?
"The Jedi! They, another example. That Maul guy from the news. You bumped into his men and got hurt. Really, really hurt. I'm sure Vader doesn't give a damn that that happened!"
"Vader's not a Jedi." I reply plainly.
"Then what is he?"
"I don't know what he is." I lie.
He's a Sith. And a monster.
No. I Am You!
SHUT UP!
"Have you ever seen him before?"
"I—"
How the hell do I answer this?
Helpfully, the traffic finds another red light before I notice Sabine lean forward in her seat. "You have seen him before…I thought—"
"What'd you think?" I blurt out.
"JJ did some research over the summer. He thinks that you and Vader were in DC at the same time last semester."
SHIT.
JJ…
"Well I'm glad I'm hearing about this now instead of being told about it." I pop off.
Thanks JJ.
Conspiracy asshole strikes again!
SHUT UP!
"He's just…worried about you Ezra. We all are. I…I hope you do know that I really do care a lot about you. You've got all the potential in the world and can do a ton of great things and…I just don't want the Jedi to drag you into some mess like that and ruin it all."
"What the Jedi have in store for me can't be all that bad." I counter. "They need people like me, since they're still kind of short-handed."
After Order 66.
"Yeah." Sabine somehow laughs. "I, I didn't know that he killed so many people."
Sidious killed over 28,000 Jedi, counting the ones who were never accounted for.
"And I don't want you getting killed either. I…I still can't believe you threw yourself into that Riverside situation."
"Everyone that trains with the Jedi can do what I did Sabine. It wasn't anything special, it never has been."
For all you know…I'm not special Sabine.
That's all she'll ever know.
"Oh come on…" I growl at the light, which rotates extremely quickly before going red again.
"I wish you wouldn't diminish what you do Ezra. It really is amazing. It's incredible." Sabine reaches out and grabs my arm gently.
You don't believe that…
"I—"
She's gonna interject again!
"Stop." I order her. "You…you didn't believe that at Riverside. You didn't believe that with the UCLA thing. Just stop, okay?"
She's trying to make amends for how she's been acting.
Well I don't buy it.
I agree.
The Force rattles all around Sabine before I can't help but continue. "I know deep down, at some level you're still pissed I lost your beskar. Which I completely understand. You're right. You have every right to be."
I know you don't believe in me.
That's why she's banging Ryan now instead of you!
SHUT…
I exhale heavily and lean back in my seat before glancing in Sabine's direction.
She's—
"I do believe in you Ezra. So—"
NO YOU DON'T!
"No, you don't." I cut her monologue off. "You don't want me putting myself in danger, which I'm trained to do. You don't want me following my orders from the Jedi Council to protect you until we figure out wherever the hell you beskar is and what somebody wants with it, you don't want me doing any of it!"
You want me sitting in my apartment, studying and being a complete and total dork.
That's what you want.
Well I can't do that.
"I'm sorry for snapping." I quickly apologize. "But it's my mistakes that put me in this position. It's my fault. You should be mad at me—"
Sabine cuts me off with a loud groan. "My mistakes… Can you stop saying that?! The Jedi never should have let you be in that position! It's THEIR fault!"
"You don't know what you're talking about." I dismiss the idea with a wave of my hand.
I lost. I failed.
It's my fucking fault.
"Then tell me! Tell me Ezra! Let's get on the Five and just keep driving! Explain it to me!" Sabine demands of me.
NO!
"No. I can't."
"Why not?!" Sabine almost howls.
"Because! There's a lot of confidential information that I can't tell you!"
"Yes you can! I won't tell anyone! I've never told anyone about Kanan, or Hera, or Jacen and Mira, or those younglings, or—"
"No I can't! It's my job to protect you from all of that! Ideally, you're not supposed to know! But I failed to do that, and these are the consequences of that." I tell her.
Sabine loudly sighs and collapses in her seat. "Can you stop, for FIVE MINUTES just blindly protecting me and trust me?!"
NO!
"NO!"
"Ezra!" Sabine nearly leaps out of her seat.
"I would, if you'd proven that I could trust you with that information. But no. I can't." I state plainly.
Now stop freaking yelling at me.
Again.
Yeah! Again!
"What's made you think that I can't be trusted?!"
"You keep yelling at me!" I point out. "Right now, over the summer when I lost the beskar, when we fought about Brett's pathetic display—"
"Don't say that!" Sabine snaps at me.
Why?
"Why? It was pathetic. You pretty clearly broke up with him and he lied to himself for months until I had to be the one to break it to him that you moved on."
I thought with me, but…
My thought gets interrupted with Sabine's fury before I glance over and see her seething. "You got something to say? Say it."
It's not like I've been yelled at before.
Way worse than she can ever, ever imagine.
Instead, Sabine takes a calming breath and closes her eyes. "I…This is about Ryan. Isn't it. I knew you were mad, I knew you were mad about him—"
"This isn't about him." I shut Sabine up. "It's about how, at every turn when I do something you don't like, you yell at me! And when you don't yell, you ghost me for days and weeks!"
"Oh, this summer?" Sabine fires back. "I'm pretty sure I got a text from Kanan saying that you had to go quiet after Vader got revealed in DC and that you had to go underground. You had to leave the summer job Padmé got you Ezra! Remember that?!"
"Of course I remember that." I roll my eyes.
Don't patronize me.
"Well I'm sorry I didn't text you the moment it was okay Ezra. I'm sorry that I decided to have a little bit of a life. I'm sorry. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Excuse me?!
"That's not what I meant—"
"No." Sabine once again cuts me off. "You—"
SABINE!
"You wanted to be mean Ezra. You wanted to hurt me, make me feel guilty. That's not very nice. That's not very becoming of a Jedi."
"You don't like the Jedi!"
That's the truth!
"I just told you that I don't mind the Jedi! I just don't like how they're so secretive and sensitive and protect a mass murderer so damn much."
Oh whatever.
She's lying to you. She's Mandalorian. She's been raised to hate the Jedi.
"Sabine, you're Mandalorian. Mandalorians for millennia fought against the Jedi. I learned about it in that class. The history between the two is bad."
By and large, the Mandalorians hate the Jedi.
That's why there's such a large peacekeeping force, disguised as a Temple in Chicago!
Because there are so damn many Mandalorians!
"Don't you bring up my family and heritage against me Ezra! That's not what this is about!"
"Then what the hell is this about?!"
"About you not trusting me!" Sabine hollers at me.
"I do trust you! Just not about things that will get you hurt Sabine! I have to protect you!"
"STOP PROTECTING ME!" Sabine snaps at me. "That's not your job anymore!"
"Yes, it is!" I remind her before I take the turn into her neighborhood at top speed. "And anymore?!"
What's that supposed to mean!?
You know what it's supposed to mean. She's replaced you, with Ryan.
"I have a boyfriend Ezra! He can protect me! He's just as big and bad, and strong as you are. If anything comes and tries to happen to me, then he'll protect me. Not you."
"No." I say firmly. "I will protect you. That's my job. Until I get your beskar back, then fine. I'll cede the floor to Ryan."
"You're not gonna GET my beskar back Ezra!" Sabine bites out at me. "It's been months! And you haven't! it'll be my people, the Mandalorians who find it. Or your precious Jedi. Not. You."
"I'll have you know that I have been working on it, tirelessly for months!" I point out. "I'm part of the team trying to find it!"
There's Sabine's house.
Finally.
"Then why haven't I heard anything about it?"
"I don't know, go ask your Mom! I just do what I'm told!"
"Fine! I will!" Sabine declares brashly before I quickly come to a stop in front of her house.
"Fine!"
"FINE!" Sabine yells back at me before reaching back and tearing her backpack out of my backseat, the backpack colliding forcefully with both the driver's and passenger's seat before—
—"SLAM!"—
Sabine takes a full step, then pivots and kicks my passenger's door shut. Immediately, the whole car rattles before I turn away and move to pull away from stupid Sabine's house—
Why's my door ajar sensor going off…?
Did…
YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE THE FINAL WORD, DIDN'T YOU?!
You broke the door on my car!
How in the hell am I going to explain this?