Chapter 4
Tris POV
The first day of initiation went by fast, we learned how to shoot a gun, and I can't say I was bad at it. I actually liked the feeling the gun gave me, for a first time in years I felt as if I was protected. Christina and I also made acquaintances with two other initiates, Al, a guy from candor and Will from erudite. Christina is the one whose more open with them, I usually just listen to them talk but I really just try to keep to myself. I haven't decided to trust anyone who isn't family and the only family I trust for that matter is gone in another faction but I still miss Caleb. I try to keep in mind the biggest motto in our world "Faction before blood," butCaleb will always be first, however the same doesn't go to Marcus. I shudder at the thought of him so I rather keep him buried in my mind, he is dead to me. I came here to be brave, to find strength and to make a new life for me, alone.
Today we are probably fighting and I still don't know what to make of it. I never responded to any of Marcus' beatings but if I could I would have probably never stopped.
As we headed to the training room, I noticed Four walking with another Dauntless, I don't think we caught his name but they seem to be friends. I peek at Four and see he looks so relaxed, carefree happy even. And then I wonder what kind of life he had before being an instructor. I recall the conversation we had on our first day here at lunch and wonder if he was a transfer. No, I doubt it; he looks as if he has been here all his life, with loving parents and happy friends living life the way it's supposed to be.
My thoughts are then drifted back as I see the room we have just walked into, it's huge with center wood flooring in the middle, punching bags hanging from one side of the room and a big chalkboard on the other side of it. This must be where we will probably fight. The thought undergoes me.
"Today you will learn how to fight," Four says "if you can fight that is, this will prepare you to act under pressure, and to defend your body of challenges. This is what we, Dauntless are. We are strong, we are brave! Consider this a requirement if you want to remain here".
I noticed he seems pleased with fighting. He must not know what fighting means especially when the other side gets torn into pieces. Then I remember the part of the manifesto Will recited earlier:
"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage's that drives one person to stand up for another"
That thought to me sounds beautiful, to stand up for another. I realized that no one should have to go through what I went through with Marcus and I suddenly feel the urge to start fighting, to fight back and defend. To learn, so I nor anyone else will have to put up with that. I am ready.
"We will start off with technique and after lunch some of you will fight each other," Four explains "since we have an odd number those who won't fight today will fight tomorrow".
He starts demonstrating different punches and kicks and how to make certain parts of our body shields for us. Then he starts off with the punching bag, he begins calm but as he keeps hitting the bag he becomes fiercer. I can tell he trains well and is probably a great fighter.
We then try it ourselves in our own space. We practice and I can see some of us are good with skills and other not so much. I try to copy the movements he showed us but it is much harder than it looks. I try to catch on, and then I realize that perhaps it's the punching bag. I don't feel that urge to hurt the punching bag, nor the need to win over it, so I just keep trying to perfect my moves.
Four wanders through the group watching us, analyzing our movements, how we are doing one by one. I then feel someone's eyes over me; I tense up at the feeling that gives me. I look to my side and he is standing right beside me, focusing on my movements. My heart pounds but not of excitement but of alertness. I have never like being stared at, I feel ready to snap, aware of anything happening. Usually this feeling came from always knowing where Marcus was. But right now I tell myself it should be natural, try to lighten up and believe there is no reason this person should want to hurt me.
"You don't have much muscle," he says as he approaches me, "You need to use key points that will serve you as leverage, like your elbows and knees that are strong from nature."
I turn to look at him, and see him staring right into my eyes, he leans in and I stiffen up at the thought of him touching me. I try to avoid physical contact with anyone at all cost; to me touch only brings instant pain, which is something I rather be free of. But I immediately freeze as I feel his hand presses into my stomach. His touch is stern and firm, his fingers covering my abdomen and his palm making pressure in my belly button. I hold my breath in, trying to relax but I can't.
"Never forget to keep tension here." he says quietly at my ear.
It is only when he lifts his hand that I realize that this is the first time anyone has touched me that wasn't Marcus. As he walks away I can feel the ghost of his hand still pressing in my stomach, it takes me a while before I can catch my breath again. When I turn to look at him, he glances back at me with a confused expression on his face, concerned even. He must have noticed my reaction as he touched me, my guess is that he probably thinks it was of embarrassment as opposed to pain. But now that I think about it, his touch didn't bring me flashes of pain of when Marcus hit me, yet I still don't know what to make of it.
I try to concentrate back on my task when we are dismissed for lunch. Everyone's seems to be very anxious about the fights that we'll have afterwards, but instead I try and focus on the key points Four taught us, especially the ones he hinted me. Right after our introduction to the compound Eric mentioned to us that there would be some initiates to get cut and become factionless. To me that is not an option, especially since I know Marcus limits go beyond the factionless, but if I stay here know won't have to see him, and he won't hurt me again. Besides my divergence could be well hidden here if I can manage properly.
I look towards the clock and see that I still have more than enough time to go to the restroom and prepare mentally. I have a gut feeling I will be one of the few fighting today. I walk towards the nearest restroom but it's closed so I have to go to the one by the end of the hall near the chasm. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I feel different, I seem different but yet still the same. Once I'm inside the stall I think about initiation and what staying will mean, to me staying isn't my goal, but to be able to finish in the top 5 so I get to choose a job that will assure me I'll never see Marcus again, a job that forgets my old self. I'm startled by voices in the restroom, I thought I was alone. I open the door and see the least 3 favorite initiates, Molly, Drew, and Peter. Of course they are here.
"Hey Stiff," he say with that arrogant voice I hate so much. "Everything come out well?".
I know no good can come from this. They're in front of the doorway so I figure the best thing since I'm out numbered is to not confront them. I walk towards the sink trying deeply to ignore their presence by starting to wash my hands.
"I wonder is the water hot enough," say Peter walking towards me. He is right behind me now.
"What?!" is all I can manage out, seeing him stand too close. Uh-oh
"Is it? Is the water hot enough Stiff?" he continues while glaring at me through the mirror and eyeing me from head to toe. I can see he isn't referring to the water. Drew and Molly seem to enjoy watching Peter bother me though they don't say anything. I then feel his hand right below my thigh, and turn to push him further away though he instantly grabs my hands while turning me so he is now behind me forcing my hands in a lock so I can't move much. Anger is boiling inside me just by thinking what he is trying to do.
"Let go of me!" I retaliate not able to accomplish much.
I see Drew and Molly start to back away smiling, headed to the door, "we'll just leave you two to it, have fun." Says Molly and they are gone.
He lifts me up while I attempt to free myself from his grip, but I fail miserably. "Wow there stiff, hold on we'll get to that eventually," Says Peter just as I try to bite his hand off my mouth. "But first let's see what you have under here," he slide his hand in my shirt through the neck hole. His hand grabs me and I now scream to the top of my lungs though I feel no one can hear me.
"Well you don't have much to work with but I can manage," he says and at that I'm able to free one of my hands and I immediately go for the obvious and elbow him in the gut not hard enough to make him fall but it's enough too distract him making him let go of my other hand. It takes all my will power not to let all my anger out on him at the thought of what he was trying to do and decide to be smart on this one and just run away from him now that I have the chance. I run towards the hall way fast enough, I turn my head back to see if he is coming out he isn't and I run into Christina, Al and Will.
"Whoa there Tris!" Scowls Christina just as she is about to say more, she notices my face "hey, hey what's the matter? Are you okay?" she asks concerned as he eyes my face. "What happened?"
I try to answer but I'm out of breath. "Why are you crying?" says Al. I touch my eyes and feel the tears in them falling out; I hadn't even noticed I was crying.
"I'm fine," trying to sound as believable as possible, "Really I'm ok, I just had a argument with Peter, it's nothing really."
Christina gives me a look, damn her candor self., I know she wont let this go. "Ok, fine if you say so." She answers.
Al and Will start heading to the training room, "I'll be okay, I'll explain it later though," I say to Christina to reassure her "Come on lets, go."
We head to the training room catching up to Will and Al.
We enter the room and I can't help myself to look around to see Peter, I don't. He must not have arrived yet. Molly and Drew curiously look my way several times probably commenting what just happened minutes ago, they seem confused.
"Ok, the names of the people who will fight are on the board next to the person you will be fighting today." Four says "The order they are on is the order you will fight in."
I scan the board to find my name at the very last next to Peter's. Of course it is.
"Oh no Tris," whispers Christina "Maybe he'll go easy on you."
Though the only thing I think to myself is this is it, this is where I can let go. However I do wonder why I was paired off with him, I turn to see Four but he is already looking my way, he seems unsteady. Maybe he wasn't the one who choose the parings. Either way I tell myself I can't lose this fight. Thankfully we are last and I have time to study the moves of everyone else, I have time to plan what Four told me earlier.
Actually I find myself anxious for the fight to begin. All I have in my head are thoughts of Marcus' word to me every time he lashed out on me, "this is for your own good," he would say "You will learn to listen and obey me this way" but I know I am not fighting Marcus, I am well aware though that I am fighting someone exactly like him, Peter.
"Peter and Tris," Erick says, and it is now that I barely notice he is here too. "You're up!" he says with a hint of thrill in his voice.
We stand both on the center of the platform and I try to study him, study his moves and I know if I can keep myself on my feet I can maybe win this. "Hey stiff if you cry I might just take it easy on you, make it fast," he says as he smiles at me "You know, like in the restroom!" and with that I remember his hands touching me and I begin to boil again. But this time I dont have to swallow my anger I can just take it out on here. He circles me while we move along the platform.
"Any day now," snaps Erick. "Stop playing and get to it!"
His arm move too fast towards me and pain stabs my jaw and spreads across my head. I look up to see him, but when I do Peter is not the guy I'm fighting, Marcus is the in his place. I realize this just as his fist is aiming at my ribs so I quickly move out the way dogging the punch and then the words I hate most pop into my head. "This is for your own good Beatrice." At that I register that Marcus is not here it just my mind, Peter is the one I'm fighting and with that I recall the events in the restroom earlier. Marcus and Peter may not be the same person but they are just as bad, they are both scrapped from the bottom of the same barrel of scum. He darts to me again and this time I have time to react making my fist connects with his mouth. I don't stop there and immediately elbow him in the face before he can recover. Don't give him time to recover I say to myself
I now have the urge to hit him again, and never stop. He is off balanced and I don't care, I aim my foot at his stomach and he falls to the ground. I kick again and this time my foot hits his face, I still don't care, "he is just like Marcus" I keep telling myself, I have a new feeling of fury and it needs to come out. I look at him and notice blood from his nose is smeared all over and then another kick in the chest, "he touched me!" and I recall what happened in the restroom and I kick him again harder. I think he has blacked out.
This feels good, I like it and I don't want it to end!
I bend down to punch him but my hands are grasped by Four. He pulls me away while I watch Peter still in the floor and I can't help but feel relieved. Four follows me out of the training room and analyzes me while I catch my breath. He stares into my eyes looking worried, alarmed. But I don't care, it felt good taking my anger out, to finally be able to defend myself for once and I don't regret any of it. I feel as if I'm on fire.
"Take a walk," he says his voice low and careful "Cool down, it's over."
I stare into his deep blue eyes and for one moment I think they can see right through me, I feel exposed, bare as heat flushes my face. I need to get away, now. I quickly walk away without saying anything desperately trying to get away, feeling his stare burn deep through my skull, right into me. I realize he makes me unsteady; something about him pulls me in. And all I know is I'm still not safe.
Hey guys! I hope you guys liked it, Pls R&R! I am trying to make Tris take everything out she's had inside this way Four can help guide her! Though I don't know if I should include the war or simply make new situations for them! Any suggestions are more than welcome!