Chapter 11
Tris POV
Since I woke up this morning I knew this was going to be a hard day. I am usually okay with being alone, or even hiding from people but doing this today doesn't feel as right as it did before. Marcus will most likely come and he is the last person I want to ever see. I couldn't risk anyone seeing me so I made my way out before anyone woke up, I'm sure it been far more than I couple of hours since I've been here. This spot is nice and serene and for some odd reason it makes me think of Four.
The more I think about it the more I'm confused by my feelings for him. I know he should stay away but I want him not to want to be away, I want him to want me, to fight to stay close, I want him period. Though it'll never happen.
The water splashing at the bottom of the rocks makes just the right soothing sounds for me not to grow bored. Ive debated whether I should maybe move from here but I cant risk it, I just wish I wasn't so hungry.
My thoughts are then interrupted by a hand in my shoulder. I take a moment to gather myself and shut my eyes tightly before turning around. I take a deep breath before opening them but before I get to do so a deep sweet voice I know so well says my name. My full name.
"Beatrice." He says.
I open my eyes to see a familiar face, I face I didn't think I would ever see here. Before I can speak he is smiling at me taking me into a hug.
"Caleb." I choke out. My sweet older brother is here, he came to visit me. He is here, but how? How is he here at the bottom of the chasm, how could he know how to get here. Over come with emotion and glee I squeeze him tight, he is the only person Id want to see today.
"It good to see you too," he chuckles. It only now hits me how much I truly missed and needed my brother.
"You're here. How did you know I would be here? How did you find me? How to find this place?" I questioned, all too eagerly for my taste.
"Beatrice give me some credit, I know my ways and besides I am an Erudite you know." He says. Of course he is. I laugh at the thought. "Come, i don't think we should be here. I feel like sitting ducks."
His comment takes me off guard. "We're fine here, no one knows about this place. Well not many people I think."
"That may be, but I think we should go somewhere more private." He takes a deep breath and looks around. "Marcus is here, I saw him before I got to you, and I we should keep on the move just incase."
"he is looking for me, isn't he?" I begin to panic. Caleb notices my expression and gives me a reassuring smile.
"Beatrice, I wont let him hurt you," he pauses before adding "I wont let him hurt us, he cant. Not anymore."
We walk up to the surface, careful enough not to be seen by anyone. I take the way that is the most deserted and walk us to a room I didn't know, I am guessing its the room that the dauntless born train in. Caleb looks around taking everything in, he seems amused by our surrounding, this is the Erudite in him.
"Im guessing this is where you train?" he asks.
"No, not really." I look around as well. "This is probably the dauntless born training room. We are separated from them."
He shrugs, "Makes sense." he takes a moment and clears his throat, "Listen Beatrice, I came here not only to visit you, but to make sure you are okay. How is training going?"
His question startles me, "Its going fine, really well actually. Rankings aren't up until a couple of days but I think I'm doing really well." I say, "Why Caleb?"
"Look Beatrice, I tapped into the file system they did for the aptitude test I wanted to see how you did, and your file was uploaded manually, which in Erudite raises questions." He is hesitant for a moment, what is he getting to with all of this? Does he know? How could he? "What was your aptitude test result?"
There's that question again, but this is Caleb. My older brother, who has always looked out for me, who took beatings for me on many occasions, this is a person I love and trust. "They were inconclusive."
His green eyes filled with concern and love search mine. That's what I thought." he looks around us, and lowers his voice to just a whisper. "Beatrice they are watching you, you have to be careful, this wasn't the safest faction you should've chosen. Divergents aren't safe here."
"Caleb, how do you know this?" is the only thing I manage to ask.
"I never stopped watching over you Beatrice, when I transferred to Erudite I kept up with everything , including your aptitude test result. After the choosing ceremony the files were in the system and I looked you up, I was hoping you would choose Erudite, but I had a feeling you were going for Dauntless," he smirks and looks away yet again, his expression becoming serious again.
"I didn't know there were cameras here."
"There is, many. They're all over the compound, anyone who is good with computers and has access can hack in. Anyways afterwards I began monitoring Dauntless even more, people go missing here Beatrice. They disappear, or are found dead and do you know what they all have in common?"
I shake my head awaiting his response though I have a feeling I know what it is.
"They are all divergent. They are all killed by their own faction." He looks me in the eyes while approaching me, "Do you understand why you aren't safe here anymore? The following stage of initiation is an even harder one, it's all simulations and they are all monitored by the Erudite."
"Why the Erudite?"
"That I don't know, but that's why you have to be even more careful from now, okay? No can't trust anyone here, especially your leaders or trainers. You have to keep it a secret and don't draw any attention to yourself."
One thing he said drew my attention more, the trainers. That means I cant trust Four, by any means he cant know m secret. "Attention? What type of attention?" I ask, I must understand everything if I am to remain here.
"Divergents do really well in simulations, since they are aware they do exceptionally well, too good. And it raises questions. They begin to monitor them closely, their every move and they figure it out. I can handle the monitors in Erudite but before any of them get to us, they are viewed by the dauntless first. That's you."
"But why are they killing them, it makes no sense." I say, something doesn't add up. If divergents are good in simulations and all why are they considered a threat?
"I don't know, this isn't something I can just ask around. For some reason this is the subject everyone knows, but its never spoken of."
"Thank you Caleb." I say, he has risked himself by doing this, I know it. He approaches the mat and the tools that are used to train. His curiosity taking over, he's clearly an erudite.
"You're my sister Beatrice, there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for you," he smiles his best crooked smile, and I am then taken back in time where pain was an unknown thing for us. "So tell me how do you feel? Tell me about initiation, have you made friends?"
I nod, "Yes, a few here and there." He arches his eyebrows as if he knows something, he looks at me hesitant for a moment.
"I saw a guy, in the footage I look over. Im guessing he is a trainer?"
Is he talking about Four? I hope Caleb isn't thinking of talking to me about boys. God I hope not. I decide to play it dumb.
"Who?"
"Beatrice. I know you know who I am talking about. He is a trainer, your trainer and you do need to be careful around him, he isn't trustworthy."
"You don't have to worry about Four, he knows to stay away." I hate how there's a hint of disappointment in my voice.
"Good. I hope he does, he's too old for you anyway." He adds.
I look at him dumbfounded, my mouth drops open. I cant believe my brother just said that. "Caleb!" I scowl at him. He shrugs at my expression and we both laugh it off.
We then spend the rest of the time catching up and remembering old times. At times I just stop and stare at him, my dear brother is here. I still can't get my head around it. It never dawned on me how much I needed him before now. By the time I've noticed how late it is Caleb and I start making our way back. Surely Marcus has left by now, and there is no need to be as careful. We are almost at the entrance when we stop to say our goodbyes.
"Please, please be careful Beatrice. Promise me you will be." He pleads.
"Yes Caleb, I promise. I will be careful." I reassure him. I had never seen him so worried before, he seems indecisive to leave.
"I know you can't leave the compound but I'll try and visit again soon. Before initiation is over." He says taking me into a bear hug, funny how I never pictured Caleb as affectionate as this, must be the distance and time we've been apart. He is my brother after all.
"Okay." A sudden whip of sadness washes over me, I don't to see him go. We hug again a final time before he's gone. He pulls away looking over my shoulder. Hi expression has gone from thoughtful to hard ice cold. He narrows his eyes and looks away, I follow his gaze and see him. Marcus.
So close to avoiding him all day and he finally shows up, just when I was okay. I stare his way and I am even more astounded to see who is at his side. Four and m father, what is he doing with Four? Or better yet, what is Four doing with my father. I look over to Caleb and is giving them both a death glare. This is not what we need right now.
Before they get any closer, I close in on Caleb, though I'm not sure if it's for protection or for warning. "Caleb, go. Please go, before this gets worse."
Without looking away from them Caleb answers coldly, "No, Im not leaving until he is gone."
"Caleb, please." I try to convince him, Marcus has immense hatred towards Caleb after he left, I am simply trying to avoid a disaster.
"Beatrice I left you once, I am not doing it again. I will not leave you to this monster ever."
I finally dawns on me, Caleb feels guiltly for leaving me with him, he is still battling with the guilt. I have never blamed him, and to be honest I would have done the same. Before I know it Marcus and Four are right next to us. Marcus at my side, he lays his hand over my shoulder I tense up at the feeling.
This is the Marcus the world knows, the one who is a kind father, the one who wears a mask when in public. Caleb see this, we are both too familiar with this act. Its an act that has cost us many things if we don't keep it up.
"Don't you dare touch her." Caleb hisses through his teeth. His jaw is clenched and tight. He feels just like I do about this, disgusted. His grip on my shoulder tightens, though it doesn't hurt, not as it did before. This is a pain I can endure, its barely pain.
"Caleb, I think its time for you to head back to your faction now." his tone is calm and quiet, out of all the tones he has, this is the one I hate the most. it's the deathliest one.
He slowly takes off his hand from me, releasing me from his grip. I turn to look at Four and he seems lost, confused. He doesn't know who Caleb is, not yet.
Caleb moves me to his side, I unknowingly glare at Marcus. He is the one who should be leaving, he shouldn't even be here. Four clears his throat, before I turn to face him again. Maybe he wants an introduction.
I begin to speak, "Four—" before Caleb cuts me off.
"Marcus I think you are the one who should go. Im sure there are factionless you need to attend to." The mood has past beyond awkward, it is now cutting into small fragments of ice burning air.
"Four, why don't you escort this young man out of the compound while I speak to my daughter for a moment. Apparently this young man has already had his time with her." Marcus says, I can see him wanting to form incoherent conclusion in Fours head.
Four looks over at me and then to Caleb and then back to me. Any pleasant emotion on his face has fallen and now looks distraught. He finally looks t me and steps towards the door holding it open.
"I'm sorry Tris, but he's right. Visiting hours have passed, and your father needs to speak to you urgently, he's been waiting for you all day." He turns his attention to Caleb and glares at him.
"Tris?" Caleb questions looking at me. He shakes his head, "I am not leaving her with him, if I go he has to go too. I will not leave her with him" He points to Marcus and turns to Four before adding "faction before blood , right."
Fours jaw is now hard a rock, he looks very much annoyed at this situation. "You have already spoken with her, you really don't want to step outside your place here. Remember this is my faction, and you really don't want to piss us off." He steps closer to Caleb, and Caleb doesn't back off either.
"I am not leaving her alone with him!" he growls, I am begging to grow more annoyed at all the three men before me. I can hadle myself, at least I like to think I can. Even when it comes to Marcus.
"What is that supposed to mean? I am her father, I would never do anything—" Marcus says before Caleb cuts him off.
"You know very well what it means."
"Stop it! All of you." I yell. Hoping to end this for once, I step into the middle of them three. I turn to Caleb, "Caleb I will be fine, I promise." I say sharply referring to not only this moment but to the promise I made him earlier.
He looks at me once again and turn to Four, he eyes him carefully and Four in return gives him a death glare.
"Fine, okay." Caleb answers me, giving me a quick hug before turning, at the corner of my eye i think I saw Four narrow his eyes at this. Caleb heads to the door before bumping shoulders with Four.
I never thought I would witness Caleb being this way cold and tough, to me he was always a polite selfless person. But then again so was I. I guess every initiation changes you in a way, no matter which faction it is it makes you tougher, all except for Abnegation and maybe Amity. And just like that Caleb is once again out of my life in a split second.
I look over to Marcus and see his evil grin. Caleb's words cloud my mind, "He cant hurt us, not anymore." He won't. Not in front of Four.
"How did you two meet?" I ask looking back and forth from one another.
"He saw me and knew I was here to see you, he offered to look for you but we weren't able to find you. I now see you were busy with the Erudite." he scowls. He turns to Four before saying "Four, could I have a moment with my daughter before I leave?"
"Sure." he looks over at me with an unreadable emotion on his face. He has no idea of what's about to happen.
I can't be scared, I wont be a coward. I am dauntless and I have to face this. I take a deep breath while I watch Four leave us.
Marcus walks me to an intersecting hallway that is deserted at this time. He pulls me by the arm, his grip getting tighter and I yank myself out of his reach. Anger rushes through me.
"Let me go, Marcus!" I hiss, " You cant control me, not anymore."
"Beatrice please," he laughs and turns serious again all in one second, "You will always be my daughter and you will obey me above all, I taught you better than to talk back."
"What do you want?" I ask.
"I need for you to return to abnegation. I have arranged for you to be brought back, but you must leave with me at once."
I cant believe he even thinks I'll follow him out of here. "No. And if this is what you came for then leave and don't ever come back, because you'll be wasting your time." He begin to object but I walk around him to leave ignoring what he has to say.
I feel a hand pull me back by my wrist and as I turn to warn him to let me go, his palm connects with my cheek slapping into my flesh with a burning sensation.
"You know better than to walk away from me. You may think you rule yourself but I can still see you are the scared little girl who would hide in the closet." he retorts while I sooth the burning I my cheek with m hand. Apparently he can still hurt me.
"Listen to me, I know what is best for you, Caleb is a bad influence and he will only drag you down with him. You don't know what's a head for the dauntless, but I assure you that you won't want to be a part of it. You shouldn't trust the Erudite either even if it is Caleb Beatrice. He is my son and your brother but he left us to go with them, and now he will be a part of what the Erudite is planning."
"What are you talking about? What are the Erudite planning?"
"I don't know yet, but I will soon. We just know they are and no good can from it. Beatrice you can't be selfish, come with me." He pleads, I have never seen Marcus this tormented, part of me wants to believe what he is saying but the other part reminds me that my cheek is burning with pain due to him, he will never change.
"No," I say sternly. "And I am not being selfish, and if I were it is that same reason why I left Abnegation, I am selfish and I don't belong there Marcus, what ever they are planning I'm sure its not what you think. They are smart and I know Caleb would never betray me, in spite of what you think."
I start to walk away again, but turn to him letting out one last piece of my mind. "I know he is my brother and that you are my father but some bonds go beyond blood, Caleb and you will always be my family and I won't be able to ever change that. But dauntless is my faction and I don't plan on ever changing that either."
I walk away, still with a burning sensation on my face. I turn to a corner and rest on the floor, my head and back leaning against the wall. I have never felt this small before. I know I can be strong, I have been strong all these years putting up with his abuse and I know I can get through initiation; I am not this fragile, petty girl everyone thinks I am. Maybe I was before, I am not any longer, I may be broken but I am not weak. I wont be weak.
I lean m head on my knees and contemplate todays event. Can't I have one day without any drama or chaos involving me? I sit there for a few moments before I hear footsteps approaching by. I look up and see most of the dauntless born initiatives heading out. Uriah catches my eye and approaches me.
"Hey there Tris, you okay?" he asks. I stare into his warm brown eyes and he seems to really want my answer. I answer with another question.
"Um, I thought we weren't supposed to leave the compound?" I ask, watching everyone else stop by the doors while others make their way out.
"Oh that, yeah. But we are going with my brother. Its fine whenever we are with a dauntless member, although that rule doesn't really apply to us." He says shrugging his shoulders, "So are you okay? You seem… preoccupied?"
"Preoccupied?" I ask amused, a slight smile forming in my face. "Yeah, you could say that. I'll be fine though."
"You sure?" he asks, I just nod. He smiles in return and starts turning to the other few waiting by him at the door. He turns swiftly and adds, "You know a bunch of us are going zip lining, you should join us. It will take your mind off things for a while."
I consider his invitation, and realize I could use something to take my mind away from everything. I stand up and nod, his smile widens.
"Good, only true dauntless do it." He adds. A rush of excitement fills me as we head out to the rest of the people outside.