Chapter 12

Tobias POV

I find myself pacing back and forth recalling everything I just witness. I need to know who that erudite boy was. He couldn't have been Tris' brother or else her father wouldn't have reacted the way he did. For one, they don't even look anything alike. This is too confusing, I would have thought that seeing Tris with her family, or at least just her father in this case would have made things clearer, not the opposite.

I look around to the site of my apartment, realizing that being here wont do me any good. I walk to the training room to take my mind off things. I would love clearing y head this way, even when I was just an initiate, Amar would tell me to not keep anything in but not let my actions absorb me either.

I'm walking back to the training room and I see the pit empty. Normally after visiting day everyone is around but I guess not today. I get to the training room and set up. While I'm preparing myself I keep drifting off to when Tris and I were both here, I remember that night perfectly. Even then I knew that night would be engraved in my memories forever, it was the first time she opened up to me and I got to see Tris' true side. That was the night I fell in love with her, even if I didn't know it at that time. It was also then when I realized she was perfect in so many ways and that I would pretty much do anything for her.

I let myself go and give in into my instincts. I focus all my energy into the punching bag in front of me, every time striking it with so much force I think it'll fall off. It doesn't because I'm being sloppy. My head is, as always, thinking of my abnegation initiative. As much as I try to focus and just let the movements flow they don't because my head isn't here, and for the first time I realize that neither is my heart. This girl has forever marked me, and if I am ever to be myself again I must tell her how I feel. But I cant, not without causing any problems with Eric.

I decide I've been here long enough and gather my belongings to start heading out. I need to talk to somebody, Zeke, I think. He has more experience at this than I have, he should tell me what to do. As I pas the pit once again I pass the bathroom Tris was in a few days ago when she has hurt. Again my mind is flooded with the images of her hurt that day. I stop and stare at the spot she was sanding when she told me to stay away from her. I realize that I don't need Zeke, today I need someone closer, I need my own fathers advice.

I hurry to my apartment; I look at the time and see I have just enough to catch the following train before I take a quick shower. Im out of the compund within 10 minutes. The night is cool and windy but this is the weather I like, something about the cold seems welcoming. While I wait for the train I contemplate the stars in the sky and I see how each one of them is shining individually but how without the rest the sky wouldn't be the same. The light each one of them holds can illuminate just enough of a person's life, each one burning bright like the sun in their own way. Tris might be a star in the sea of the sky but she is my sun.

The train approaches and I start to sprint and effortlessly jump in. I begin to see the compound shrink in the distance; I sit at the edge of the train staring into the view passing by. My thoughts take me to the Ferris wheel as I see it pass by. I often wonder what would have happened if I had reached in for the kiss. Would she have returned it? Would she have enjoyed it? I wonder if she thinks about that moment as much as I do. I look down and see my hands sweating just by the thought of it. I rest my head back enjoying the pleasant memories my mind thinks of.

I jump out once passing by the abnegation sector. I know I shouldn't be so open about my presence here, but I know I can still visit. Besides Dauntless and Abnegation get along enough to maintain peace with each other.

Being in this place takes me back to when I was younger, though I don't miss this place exactly I do miss the people in it, my family. I stop at the bottom of the street, look around swiftly and see not many people; you could even say this place is deserted at this hour. I slowly make my way towards my parents place, taking in everything I see. As a boy I would always walk from school, I would observe even the smallest of the details around me and now is no exception.

I get there and see that light is still inside, I prefer to go through the back instead, though I don't know if its because of my instinct of protection or because this is no longer my home but I do it anyway. I knock swiftly and wait for them to come to the door. I knock again and this time the door opens. My father is at the other side looking confused probably as to why I'm here.

"Tobias?" he asks, scrunching his eye brows together before a small smile starts forming on his face. He takes me in a quick embrace. "What a pleasant surprise. Come on in." he says stepping aside to let me in. I step inside and the familiar smell of my previous home settles in me.

"Andrew? Who was at the—" my mother begins to say coming out of the kitchen, she stops once she sees its me. "oh Tobias." She says as she makes her way to me and wraps me in another embrace. Usually the Abnegation aren't so open in showing affection but I guess once you haven't see each other in a long time, you bend those kind of rules.

"We're so sorry we weren't able to make it today, we were wrapped up in somethings with the leaders." My mother explains as she cups my face with her hands, a grin in her face as she takes the sight of me in.

"Its fine mom, I understand." I say as she pulls me into the living room to sit, "I just wanted to talk to dad for a moment. I could use some advice." I say shyly. My mom gives me a look of concern.

"It's nothing bad I promise." I reassure her.

"Very well then I'll put some water up for tea." She says making her way into the kitchen.

"So whats this about you needing advice?" he asks, there's a hint of curiosity in his voice. "You were never the one to seek help, even when you were younger, you always wanted independence. Is everything okay?"

I hesitate before answering, "Yes dad, I just… lately ive been feeling… my mind has been elsewhere and I don't know what to do about..."

"About what?" he asks. His eyes are now searching mine. I have to remember that in front of me is my dad who happens to be the person I trust most in this world, I should be able to tell him anything, even if it is about a girl.

I cant bring myself to do it, I turn to look at him once again and he is waiting on my response. Maybe I need to take this from the start, to the root of what it is, he might know something after all.

"Dad? What do you know about Marcus Eaton?" I say, hoping this wont take him by surprise.

"Marcus Eaton?" he asks, "he is one of the leaders, he's a good man, why this about Tobias."

"Well you see, his daughter transferred to Dauntless." His eyes narrow at me, "She's one of my initiates."

"Oh?" he questions, "I did know she choose to transfer from abnegation, what of it?"

"She's different. Something about her…" I start to say but I just trail off.

My dad is now eyeing me carefully, deep in thought. "And you like her? Otherwise you wouldn't be here looking more out of place than I've ever seen you while you talk about her. Is that right?"

I knew he would make the connection. "I'm her instructor, it wouldn't be right. I try to get close to her but she… I don't know what it is. Ive tried to stay away but I cant, some how we whine up together again and it's wearing all my strength out." I finish.

He stays quiet for a moment and adds "Does she feel the same? About you, I mean."

I nod before adding "I know it, I just know she does but for some reason she wants to keep everyone out. She was hurt once, in the compound by someone we couldn't see who but she was hurt. She'd had cuts coming from her shoulders and back and was crying, I tried to help her but she pushed me away."

My dad is listening intently and taking everything I just said in. "But she wouldn't speak of it?"

"No, Zeke and I traced to see what might have happened, we thought maybe it had been someone from dauntless but when we checked the cameras al we saw was an abnegation man coming out from where she had been."

"An abnegation man? Tobias this is serious, are you sure."

"Yes, but we couldn't see his face. Dad, Tris? She had a brother where is he?"

"That's right Marcus had two kids. Her brother was a year older and transferred too, but I can't recall to which faction it was." He said.

"Earlier today she was with a boy, he was from Erudite, but I don't think he was her brother, Marcus addressed him as if he were a stranger but they did know each other from before I could tell, they didn't seem to get along though."

"Then probably not then, Marcus had always been a role model parent. What's why it was such a surprise when both his kids transferred out from abnegation, actually it's why the Erudite started questioning if the abnegation life style was worth, of course the erudite haven't always seen eye to eye with us but I'm afraid things have begun o escalate."

I wasn't expecting this, "What do you mean?" I ask concerned all over in my voice.

"Well, we think they are planning something against us, but we have no idea what, or even when for that matter. Maybe over throw us, we really don't know." He says, but I can tell he is worried over it much more than what he is leading on.

"Anyway, you really should tell her how you feel, she should know." He starts to say, "And who knows maybe she might even want to get to know you more. She has to know you before she can make her mind about anything. And even if she just wants a friendship she has to trust you first, see you as a friend before she may want to see you as anything else."

I nod in reponse.

My mom has called for us to go to the kitchen and drink our tea there. I've never been a fan of tea but they drink it, coffee here is unnecessary. The night follows casually and before I know it I am yawning as a result of my restless nights.

"I'd better go, you guys need to rest and I'm keeping you up." I say as I stand up and make my way to the sink, and start washing the cups. Some habits are tough to get rid of.

"Tobias there's no need for you to do that anymore." My mother states, "You are from Dauntless and we have come to terms with that so please, leave that stuff alone. It's okay."

"I know mom, but just because I choose dauntless doesn't mean I can make use of everything I learned while I was here, besides it brings back memories and I like it." I say and I can feel my mother smile as she nods in agreement.

"You know most people that transfer rarely think that way." my dad says. "But I'm glad you still do."

I turn wiping off my hands in a towel, "Dad, I didn't leave because I didn't want to be selfless, I just wanted to be more."

"And we couldn't be prouder, right Andrew?" moms says interjecting, "just remember to be discreet about it." I know she means my being divergent.

"Yes mom," I sigh, "I really should go, its really late."

Walking towards the door my dad pulls me a side. "Tobias, I was meaning to ask this of you, I don't want to compromise your position but I really must insist on something like this." The tone on his voice tell me he is troubled maybe even desperate

"Anything for you dad, what is it?"

"I know your job is in their control room, perhaps you could take a look into the database system of the Erudite, make sure they aren't planning anything that might endanger us all. Another leader said they might be involving dauntless but that just may a rumor."

"It isn't any problem, I can do that. But just for curiosity where did you hear that from? About involving dauntless."

"From Marcus Eaton." He finishes before I make my leave.

In the train ride back to the compound I decide to tell Tris everything. I no longer care about Eric, or how I'm her instructor or even the erudite boy from earlier today, I have to tell her how I feel. She needs to know about me, and I intend to show her exactly how.