Chapter 15

Tobias POV

I shouldn't be excited to meet up with Tris. I told her o meet up with me in the tattoo parlor, I intended to stay at distance from her, at least until initiation is over. But what am I supposed to do now? She needs to know what not to do and who to trust.

I pace back and forth, trying to calm my nerves. Its five past eight and shes not here. Yet. She'll come, she's has to come, at least I'm hoping and praying she shows up. I try to analyze the situation about what I'll do, I could offer her to run, I was going to do it anyways, before she came, I could tell her we could go run off and become factionless, that's one option. I could also stay, for her and keep her safe. Whatever was tormenting her has followed her here and I know, I just know I can protect her, be her savior. Her protector. That and anything she wants me to be.

I shake my head at my silly fantasy. Like that could ever happen. Sometimes when I look at her she sees me with fear. Doubt. How can I even let her not be near me when all I want is to be there, for her. Always only for her. How is it that I want that and she wants me away, her words echoing in my mind. Stay away from me.

"I'm sorry Tris, but I can't." I sigh out loud, for my own reassurance.

"Sorry about what, Four?" Tris voice startles me from behind. I didn't even hear her come up, her way of appearing out of the blue. Sneaky girl. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, its fine. I just didn't hear you come up." I say trying to sound normal. Not anxious or, nervous, which is how I'm feeling? Gee I'm nervous around Tris, what else is new.

"So what are you sorry for?" she asks again leaning into the wall.

I was hoping she could let it go, but I know she wont. I sigh looking around for anyone though we are completely alone, I want to avoid her question but a part of me feels, needs for me to let it all out for her. I want her to trust me and for that to happen I need her pour out my feelings , my intentions. Shoot.

"Not here." I say looking around. "There's a place I want to show you."

Ever since we had that moment in the Ferris wheel I wanted to revisit that same spot, even if it is up high in the sky. I figure Tris is worth it.

"Ok, where's that?" she asks as we start to head out. Her tone of voice tells me she's excited. I'm trusting my better judgment on this. Our trip is short, the train ride is filled with a comfortable silence that I find soothing by her presence. Tris mainly spends the ride staring out into the changing view we pass, which gives me time to study her, see her without anyone noticing. Her time here has changed her, she is getting stronger each day, her physique is now more define, more athletic than when she first arrived. But I also see a fire in her eyes, in her words when she speaks. She's tougher not only in the physical sense but also mentally. As we pass the abnegation sector she looks away back inside. Her expression has changed from thoughtful to sadness.

I know that feeling all too well it was the same feeling I had after I left home, I missed my parents. And I'm guessing she does too. Her father at least.

When we arrived we wasted no time getting on to the Ferris wheel, sucking in a breath I start to climb. I, of course, take my time and get there slow but Tris is like the wind, getting there before I do, ascending more the faster she climbs. Another thing I love about her.

Getting to the top, I reminiscence about our first time being here, not too long ago. She wasn't even scared or nervous, which is more than I can say for this moment about myself. And its not just about the heights.

"How did you know I was…." She whispers. "You know, divergent." She whispers the last part barely audible. Too the point I see. Well ok then, here we go.

"I saw how you manipulated the simulation, only divergents can do that." I look away for a moment. "I, being one myself, am familiar with the works."

"Takes one to know one?" she asks hopeful. I search her face and call me crazy but I think I see a hint of relief there. She smiles at me shyly. Her smile usually melts any worries I have. She does that sometimes.

"Yeah," I answer, "Something like that."

"But then why is it so dangerous for us to be that?" her expression is clouded, worried. "I mean, why is dauntless so dangerous, for us I mean?"

Not knowing where to start I close my eyes for a moment. Gathering my thoughts I start at the beginning -the same place where my trainer began when he told me. "Divergents are not normal but not rare, we know what's real from what isn't, we know when we are in a simulation, we can act on our own senses, we can choose, we're aware. And Dauntless is a faction of warriors, of soldiers if you must. We are trained to face our fears, to protect and fight. With the simulations we are trained to be fearless, to rise and fight and do what necessary for the greater good. Normal people, normal dauntless fellows can be controlled under a sim." Tris' eyes are on me, listening intently, aware of every word coming out of my mouth. A crease forms between her eyes, piecing everything together. I can almost see her brain forming the conclusion.

"Divergents cant." She finishes. I'm almost surprised at her figuring it out so quickly with what I said. Almost.

"Exactly." I say getting up walking to her, I stand right in front of her. "We are taught to be strong, to fear nothing, we are given guns by the same people who control our simulations, how does a divergent fit into their plan. We can't be controlled, and the more there are of us the more they can have an equal or tougher adversary."

Silence fills the rooms as we both consider just how really dangerous it is for us here. "But wouldn't they trust us to follow the right path, I mean we did choose this faction and we wont turn against them and even so who says the dauntless want to control everyone just so they can have an army of hollow soldiers?" I know where she is going with this. "What you are saying is in case of a war, in case dauntless wanted to seize control, but they don't. They wouldn't make us do whatever they wanted just so they could have total control… Could they?"

She has to believe me when I say this is what they would do, what they are doing. "Tris, they aren't going to trust an oath of someone who has the advantage over them, to them a couple of independent soldiers are expandable. They aren't going to wait for us to show them allegiance. They cant afford to take that risk." Even if I wanted to believe their better judgment, they've showed me enough they don't care. "Do you think Eric would risk it? Look, I know you want to believe they will, and that's the abnegation in you, but do you think Peter would do the right thing if he was a leader? How many people do you think would do the right thing?"

I see her seriously contemplating this, I see her deflate under the truth of my words. She exhales heavily a breath I didn't know she'd been holding. She knows this place isn't a heaven anymore. But I could still keep her safe, if she'd let me.

"Wait," she says formulating something bigger, "Dauntless isn't looking for power though, they would have done it already, right?"

This is the part where I tell her over what I found. She's not going to like this. "There's something I haven't told you." I start, "A few weeks back before choosing day, I found some plans, some war plans from the Erudite." She's stunned, but I continue. "Those plans involved the Dauntless, I wasn't able to study them well but from what I saw the simulation they want to use is the longest one yet. When I went back again to really understand it, it was gone. Someone took it or moved it."

"No, it can't be." She whispers. "We have to look for more, we have to do something."

"I'm looking, but I've found nothing. They have either changed those plans or are doing a hell of a job at hiding them." This is where I get to the part about me and her. I don't want to over power her mind with too many things but she needs to know, for her safety. "Tris, there's something I need to tell—"

"Who else do you know is a divergent?" her questions seems out of the moment. "Do you know anyone else who is a divergent?"

"You shouldn't know this but yeah, theres is others. Right now you and Uriah are the only ones in the training class who are."

"Uriah?" she asks clearly perplexed.

The last thing I want to do is talk about him with her. I sigh "Yes, him. Why the question?"

"But he knows how to act, he's been here in Dauntless all his life, is he in any danger?"

I groan mentally hating that she's asking so much about him. Why is she so interested in his well- being? Just calm down Tobias, she's abnegation, its what she does. "He is Zeke's brother, they know what to do in case of anything. They are aware of what's going on." Can we just please change the subject. Uriah was not part of the itinerary.

"But then why are they still here? Shouldn't he have gone somewhere safer, why did he choose Dauntless?" she asks.

That's it, I'm changing the subject. "Look I'm not here to talk about him or any other divergent, Tris." My voice is stern and all too hopeful. And her big, unyielding eyes are focused on me. Yes, this is much better than talking about Zeke's brother. "I don't care about what their plan is, I only care about you."

I'm closer to her now, closer than what anyone who doesn't want their personal space invaded should be. And that's the thing, I want to invade her personal space as much as I can, as much as she lets me. Oh, how I hope she lets me.

"Why?"she asks. Hell that's a question I have an answer to all too easy. I lean in closer, inches apart from her face. A face I've come to recognize all too easy, a face I fall asleep imagining next to me. A face I would love waking up to. Every. Single. Day.

"Because…" I whisper. I'm almost sure she can hear my heart hammering in my chest with how close we are. And I want more. "Because I…. " Because you are the only thing I think about. Or because I want to protect you more than anything in this world. Because your eyes bring new meaning to my life, or because the thought of not seeing you everyday sends a cold shiver through my bones, or how about because I've fallen madly in love with you. Fallen in love with you and your beautiful eyes, and your lovely, lovely hair, and those lips… Those lips get me every time. And basically just every aspect of you I can think of has me in too deep. Way too deep.

But no, I can't say all of that. So instead I just say "Because I like you."

She's silent for a moment, then her eyes drop to the floor. When they come back to mine they're surprised. ReallyTris? That much of a shock? She smiles lightly, "You… Like me?"

I cup her face with one hand, trace my thumb over her cheek and she blushes. Beautiful. I see her eyes, those dazzling beautiful eyes and think seriously about her question. Do I like Tris? I suddenly feel the need to laugh, like? What do I Like? I like dauntless cake, I like muffins, I like training, I like many things, but there's only few things I love. And Tris is definitely one of them. The biggest and most important one of them. She is the beginning of the chain of things that I've come to love, all of which involve her. Her bravery, her intelligence, her selflessness. Her unfailing strength. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this girl is good through and through.

I grab a piece of her hair that has fallen to her face and put it back behind her ear. Her breath catches, and I'm on cloud nine. "Yeah, I really, really like you." I finally say, unable to stop the grin that forms on me.

"But why?" she asks, "I mean, you're older, you're…." she blushes scarlet now. "Better looking that I am, you can have anyone, why me?"

Her answer brings laughter o my heart, is she really playing the 'you're older' card. "Yes, that whooping two year gap really is insurmountable, isn't it?" Her expression is amusing, did she really not expect this? From me?

"You never did tell me what you were sorry for?" she questions.

I contemplate telling her the truth; there is no point in lying now that she knows how I feel about her. "I was apologizing to you for not being able to stay away from you." I begin. "You warned me I should stay away for whatever reason and well, no offense but I'm done being away from you, whether you like it or not, you have someone who cares about you here, someone who is willing to do anything to protect you from anything and everything. From anyone and everyone, because…" I hold her gaze with playful smile of my own, "Well, that's how much I like you."

She smiles, this time she doesn't look away and neither do I, why would anyone ever want to look away from her. She's the sun. My sun. And before I can read my body language, I'm leaning in pressing my mouth to hers. But she doesn't pull away. Instead she moves her soft lips to mine in a hypnotizing manner. Its then I realize cloud nine has nothing on this. When I pull away, she meets my gaze, her eyes are the brightest color I've ever seen. Silver almost. They have never seemed more alive. I suddenly know that this won't be the only kiss between us.

So when she cups my face in her hands and presses her mouth to mine once more, I don't pull away. Instead, I thread my arms around her waist and pull her closer, savoring the feel of her in my arms, her gentleness. Her hand comes up and sliding from my neck into my hair and I swear a shiver passed through both of us. Its then I realize that my feelings do not go unanswered, she feels the same way. She's mine just like I'm hers for the taking. And this feeling, this inner emotion inside of me tells me this is right; that even if we hadn't met in Dauntless, if we'd both stayed in abnegation, this would have happened anyways.