Refusal to Change

Act 1, pre Chapter 35;

x.x.x

It felt like he'd been trapped in a box.

Everything felt so stiff, rigid. Flat walls marked with circuitry surrounded him no matter where he looked, grey, lifeless. The surrounding air felt stagnant and cold, almost artificial. As he made his way around the walls, he found nothing but empty space, save for the bed pressed up against the wall. But, just like the room, it appeared stiff, rigid, and unwelcoming. A rectangular shape, it bore nothing but a thin, grey sheet and an equally rectangular pillow. That, and a folded black coat. He stopped at the edge of the bed, gazing down at the coat with his blue eyes narrowed. What was he supposed to do?

You feel nothing, the man had said. And maybe he was right. When 'Sora' closed his eyes, he found that he felt no resentment towards the man's words, even if he should've. Why wouldn't he? He accused him of being some kind of… Nobody. An empty shell. And he'd brought him here, seeking his help.

But he'd already fallen for that ploy in the past. Maleficent wrenched his heart by turning him against his best friend. Who was to say these black coat guys wouldn't do the same?

The longer he looked at the coat, the sicker he felt. Or at least, he thought that he should've felt sick. With a sigh, he turned away from the bed and crept up to the wide, open window, losing himself in the thick, grey clouds that rolled over an otherwise blackened sky. Yet even with the clouds, he made out a hint of his reflection, and he brushed one hand over the top of his now blonde hair. A frown cut across his face.

"Am I even me anymore?"

His voice sounded different, too. Older, no longer squeaky and shrill. All he could think about was Riku. He'd never tease him about sounding like a girl if he heard him now…

But would he recognize him? His eyes fell to his hands, now lacking his usual fingerless gloves. In their place, he found nothing but a checkered wristband on his right hand and two rings, one black and one white. All the color in his clothes had melted away, replaced with grey, baggy pants and a white, short-sleeved jacket. Sneakers replaced his yellow, strapped shoes. So maybe he didn't look as silly now, but the change of clothes only nailed in his dissonance. Here he stood, in a body unfamiliar, feeling hollow and cold. His memories told him he should've smiled, been grateful that he was still alive! Riku and Kairi could see him again, if he could only find a way out.

The sound of his door slamming shut jerked him out of his memories, and his back arched. He half expected to hear the deep, booming voice of that man from before. Instead, the speaker carried a soft, icy tone.

"Roxas," he said, and 'Sora' immediately forgot all about his so-called hollowness. He gripped at the window sill, casting a glance over his shoulder.

"I already told you; my name's Sora. I'm not changing it."

"Stubborn, aren't we?" The man shook his head, striding further into the room. He looked strangely inhuman, with shaggy, blue hair that hung past his shoulders, pointed ears, and a deep, X-shaped scar across the middle of his face. His tiny, yellow eyes remained fixed on Sora, and his rectangular face looked unreadable. Lifeless.

He stopped just a few feet behind Sora and folded his arms. "You should know that every member of this Organization receives a new name upon joining. Surely Xemnas informed you of this."

"He did." Sora looked the other way. "But who says I'm joining?"

"Where else would you go?" The man's lips quirked, forming what resembled a smirk. "Do not forget what you've become. Your heart is no more, leaving you empty. By working with the Organization, however, there's a chance you could reclaim your heart and—"

"And everything will be okay?" Sora finally turned around. His memories told him he should've felt rage, but… the man was right. Instead of a hot, bubbling sensation in his chest, he felt cold. Just like before. Nonetheless, Sora's expression tightened into a faint scowl.

"I don't believe you," he said. "How do I know you're not like Maleficent? She did the exact same thing you're trying to do, telling me what I wanted to hear. She made me feel like I was a hero." He looked down at his hands, rolling his fingers into his palm. "But I wasn't. All I did was hurt everybody. I didn't even trust my best friend, all because of a few nice words. So, if you're gonna use me, then count me out." He lowered his arms to his side and turned his back on the man. "I just wanna be with my friends again…"

"And do you really think they would accept you?" The man chuckled, though his laughter came out hollow. Mocking. "You no longer possess a heart to care with. You are but a castaway, a remnant who shouldn't exist to begin with. Here, you are among peers, all seeking the same goal. There…" He gestured at the window. "You would never be able to recapture the bond you left behind. Your friends would notice your lack of spirit, and they'd discard you the minute you returned."

"Shut up!" He slammed his fist into the wall, gritting his teeth. "You don't know that." But at the same time, what if he was right? Squeezing his eyes shut, Sora shook his head, trying to shove those thoughts away. Push 'em aside. When he spoke again, his words lacked the sharp edge from before. They came out soft, defeated.

"I've still gotta try. Riku and Kairi are probably worried sick! I don't want 'em to think that I'm… gone."

"But you already are," said the man. "The Sora they knew is no more, and no matter how hard you cling to your memories, that will never change until we obtain Kingdom Hearts. But, if you truly wish to defy us…" Sora heard a soft whoosh sound, and when he looked again, his head hit the wall and his eyes popped for a bright flash had shot out around the man's hand, stretching out into a long, thick, bladed weapon. Some kinda claymore.

He held this weapon level with Sora's neck, that tiny smirk broadening. "I would gladly eliminate you now, had Xemnas not ordered me to let you live." His arm dropped, and the weapon fizzled out of sight. Clasping his hands behind his back, the man turned away and trudged towards the door. "But I assure you, 'Sora,' that you will serve the Organization. I insist."

Before Sora could speak another word, the door slid shut, leaving him all alone in this box of a room. If he had a heart, he suspected it would've flown out of his chest with the speed of a race car. Instead, that emptiness overtook him again. He could only stare blankly at the door, the image of that man's weapon still painted in his mind.

Now he knew he couldn't trust them.

x.x.x

END NOTE: I've always wanted to write a scene of XIII before he became… well, XIII. After all, the XIII we see in Fragmented Truths is heavily influenced by his manipulated memories. Prior to that, he contained unaltered Sora memories and ghosts of the feelings that came with them. While Xemnas chose to let him cling to his identity as 'Sora,' those memories had to go if they wanted a compliant accessory to the Riku Replica. Hence, new memories took their place and, with them, a new purpose.