The Burden of Failure
Set after The Year Between;
x.x.x
It had been so long since Aqua could truly say that she'd failed. Over the past year, she'd taken strides to protect the worlds with her friends at her sides. Her journeys from Monstropolis to Manhattan sparked fires of friendship. Though many challenges arose, she'd still managed to triumph over fearsome foes, from Saïx to Demona. And for a while, it really felt like she'd made a difference. After a decade of absence and the spread of the darkness, she thought that, perhaps, she could turn the tide of the conflict and spare the worlds their suffering.
She was wrong.
Heavy was one way to describe her as she dragged herself across the now crowded First District and collapsed in one of the chairs beneath the nearby overhang. She stared listlessly at the flickering candle at the center of the table, the whispers and murmurs from those around her barely registering as more than background noise. Her eyes stung, faint droplets wetting her cheeks. Her heart throbbed with each beat.
Across the square, she saw King Mickey speaking to the crowd of several hundred gathered among the lampposts and mailboxes. The ocean of refugees completely concealed the cobblestones.
Who knew how many were left behind? How many had become prey to the Heartless?
Like the sounds of chatter around her, the soft plodding of footsteps barely caught her ear. It wasn't until she heard the screech of one of the chairs shifting that her gaze shot up from the tabletop to the young man seating himself before her. His fluffy, blonde pompadour gave him away in an instant.
"Ah, I'm sorry, Aqua. I hope I didn't startle you."
"Ringabel…" She tried to pull her lips into a smile, but they just wouldn't budge. Still, she scooted forward, folding her arms loosely over the table's edge. "No, it's all right. It's my fault for not paying attention."
"I hope I'm not being too intrusive, but is everything all right?" He gazed across the street, eying the crowd. "That's quite an alarming number of new arrivals..."
Her entire body stiffened, and she pulled her eyes away from him in an attempt to hide her grimace. "Something happened in Twilight Town."
"Twilight Town?" His eyes went wide, and he scooted closer. "Goodness, but that world always seemed so peaceful. Not a Heartless in sight."
"And it was, until today." Her fingers gripped at her sleeves, and she took in a short, sharp breath. "It's the Organization. They launched a large-scale attack. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of Heartless, and—"
"Those fiends!" He struck the table with one of his fists, tension etched into his face. "If I had known, I would have rushed to your side in an instant. Truly, I…"
She shook her head. "Please, don't blame yourself. You had no way of knowing."
"But…" His eyes narrowed, and his lips twisted into a tight frown. "My apologies. You're right. How could I have known? It's just… after what happened to Luxendarc, the last thing I want is for the Heartless to claim more worlds."
"And they didn't. Not completely." Aqua took another quick glimpse at the crowd, some of whom had begun wandering up the steps leading toward the Second District. "The world wasn't swallowed by darkness, but now the town is in ruins. Buildings collapsed before my eyes, Ringabel. So many people lost their hearts…"
"Aqua…" He shut his eyes, sighing through his nose. Mere seconds later, he slid out of his chair. "Mm… How about we take a little stroll together? Perhaps the fresh air would help clear your head."
Unlike his normally flippant tone, the words came out soft, sincere. The tension remained fixed to his face, and he avoided eye contact, gripping the back of the chair. What might have easily been misconstrued as flirting under normal circumstances registered as something else. But Aqua knew Ringabel well enough to pick up on the subtle signs of his distress. She'd long since heard what became of his world, swallowed by the Heartless before his very eyes.
The burden of failure weighed on his heart like an anchor strapped to his chest. It held him down just as it pinned her in its clutches. So maybe…
She slowly breathed in, then out, rising from her seat. At long last, her lips started to perk into a smile.
"I'd be happy to join you."
He blew another sigh, matching her expression with a small smile of his own. He even chuckled a little. "Well then, my dear, I'll see to it that you're whisked away from your sorrows! Why, I'll carry you to a world of dream-like bliss, and—"
At first, Aqua stared, but it didn't take long before a small laugh slipped out of her. "I see you're as shameless as ever."
Despite her words, Ringabel's smile only grew, and he set one hand on his hip. "Ah, but I made you laugh! Perhaps there's still hope for us yet."
Another laugh, and she shook her head. "Are you trying to make this into a date?"
"Only if milady wishes it so." He paused, his smile faltering. "Honestly, Aqua, I just want to help. It's clear that you're in a great deal of pain right now, and I can't sit idly by while this grief eats away at your heart."
"I know." She took a step forward, sweeping her arm toward the nearby stairs. "So, shouldn't we get going?"
"Of course! Far be it from me to keep a lady waiting."
After pushing in his chair, Ringabel led Aqua out of the restaurant, past the item shop, and up the stairs leading to the Accessory Shop. Brushing past the shop, the two rounded the corner, approaching a large set of double doors. And, true to form, Ringabel hurried to the doors, pushing them open and waving for Aqua to proceed. Once she slipped through, he zipped in beside her, and for a moment, the two glanced around the Second District, soaking in the sights and sounds.
The lanterns lining the nearby railway flickered, buzzed, and hummed. The windows of the surrounding shops had all gone dark, with crisscrossing bars forming a barricade for any would-be thieves. To her left, she saw a gathering of people crowding outside the hotel's front door. In particular, she spotted a teen in a black beanie and promptly averted her gaze. Ringabel, on the other hand, surveyed the crowd with one hand below his chin.
"More Twilight Town refugees, I presume…"
She managed a nod, albeit a stiff one. Down below, she spotted more citizens gathered along the benches and surrounding the flowing fountain. A young woman with short black hair gazed up at the sky with a tiny red dragon and a cricket perched on her shoulder. A small, wooden boy chased three Dalmatian puppies, while a lion, a meerkat, and a warthog all murmured something about fireflies stuck to the sky. As the crowd began to recede, Ringabel waved one of his hands, motioning to the snow white clock tower clear across the square. Though Aqua raised an eyebrow, she didn't question his sudden interest and followed him down the path and through the door.
Together, the two maneuvered past giant, spinning gears, metallic platforms, and through another door. When they finally emerged, Aqua froze in her tracks, gasping at the change in scenery. True, she could still see the red roofs of the now distant shops. Below, she still spotted scattered citizens both big and small, but where before she stood among the crowd, she now stood atop a wide, rectangular ledge, at the base of the Gizmo Shop's clock tower. The bells chimed, their song echoing across the Second District, and Ringabel made his way over to the ledge, motioning for Aqua to follow.
Once they'd seated themselves, Ringabel leaned back, setting his journal in his lap. "I had hoped that this district would be a bit quieter at this hour, but look on the bright side: we have the best view in town all to ourselves. I can't think of a better spot to gaze at the night sky."
"It's beautiful," Aqua said, though by now her smile had vanished. In a way, what she saw was bittersweet. Scattered across the pitch black sky, a mosaic of glittering lights continued to shine down over the town. But where before there were a million lanterns, now it seemed as though there were only a thousand.
And before she knew it, she'd pulled her eyes off of the stars, settling her gaze on the Wayfinder in her hand.
"You know, if you'd rather go somewhere else…"
"No, it's all right. I should be thankful that there are still worlds out there, even if the numbers have dwindled."
"It's a shame. I know I've said it before, but when I look at the stars, they seem so close, as if I could reach out and grasp them." He extended his arm, snapping his hand into a fist. "Alas, it just isn't possible. And… well, it's not as though I'm a Keyblade Master. And I couldn't even save my world. Who am I to pine for acts of heroism?"
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wasn't able to save my home, either." Though her heart stung, Aqua met his gaze, her Wayfinder still resting in her palm. "And... I know I mentioned Terra before, but my failures don't end there. My Master, Ven… Twilight Town wasn't the first time I failed, and I'm sure it won't be the last."
"Failure… It's such a heavy burden, isn't it? It leaves scars that never fade. Guilt that lingers months, maybe even years later, keeping you up at night, robbing you of sweet dreams… And in return, all you get are the painful memories that come with it." He flipped through his journal, stopping on a page splattered with blood. "Not that I have any memories from before I met Tiz and the others."
"Is that a number six?" She leaned closer, and Ringabel sighed.
"I'm not sure. Honestly, the writings in this journal perplex me to this day. Yet it seems that even the one who wrote these entries may have faced a great failure. Or perhaps…"
He trailed off, snapping the journal shut.
"My apologies, Aqua. I was supposed to be lifting your spirits, and instead—"
She reached for his shoulder, gripping it tight. "Don't apologize. Ringabel, you carry a big enough burden as it is. And while I'm grateful that you care enough to take me here, it looks like you could use a little support yourself."
"Mm… Perhaps."
She tucked her Wayfinder away, giving him a rather pointed look. "It's helped before, hasn't it?"
"Well, of course! And it goes without saying that I enjoy spending time with you, Aqua."
"Then I want you to be honest with me. Have you ever talked to anyone else about this?"
"No. Just you." He looked away, shoulders sinking. "I didn't want to worry them. The people on board Grandship already have enough concerns between losing their homes and losing those they cherish. The Proprietress is busy running the tavern, Zatz already has enough guilt over Datz's disappearance, and the last thing I'd want is to pour salt in old wounds…"
Aqua breathed out a soft little laugh, her gaze returning to the stars above. "It's funny. For the longest time, I felt the same way. Kairi, the King, Sora, and all of the others… They've had to face so many hardships. And just like you, I was afraid to trouble them with my own struggles. As Keyblade Master, I thought I was supposed to handle them on my own."
"So what made you change your mind?"
"It wasn't easy." She pressed her free hand over her heart. "But one thing I've learned is that if you don't reach out to the people who care about you, the pain will only grow. In all my years trapped in the Realm of Darkness, I can't even tell you how many times I almost lost my way. It's like I said before; there were times where I even forgot how to smile… And if it weren't for the memories of my friends, the darkness may have claimed me."
"…Of course." He let out a hoarse chuckle, once again leafing through his journal. "I know that internalizing won't help—goodness, no. I suppose it's just my pride. After everything that's transpired, I… well, it feels like what happened to Luxendarc was my responsibility. I can't even explain why. After all, it was the Heartless' doing. And yet, if I had just been faster, perhaps stronger… If I had known what awaited us…"
"If I had known what would happen to my friends, I would have never let them leave my side." Aqua's hand moved to the emblem on her chest. "There isn't a day that goes by where I don't wonder what could have changed. If I hadn't pushed Ven to go home, if I had followed Terra and tried to understand what he was going through…"
"If I had ceased my philandering and treated Edea with the respect she deserved…"
"If I could have stopped the Organization from setting foot in Twilight Town…" All those what-ifs, and there were still hundreds more she could list. So many regrets. So many woes. Ringabel was right about one thing; grief had eaten away at her heart more than once. "It's true. Failure is a burden, but it's one we have to face no matter the circumstances. And it's one I know you can overcome, but you shouldn't be afraid to let others help you."
"And that, my dear, is why I asked you on this outing." His expression brightened ever so slightly. "Because, honestly, and I know this is a bit selfish, but you're one of the few people I can truly trust with my woes. And in turn, I hope you can trust me with yours."
"You mean I haven't already?" She chuckled, withdrawing her hand. "Ringabel, we're friends. Of course I trust you."
"Ha. I suppose it's still a tad strange for a woman of your caliber to show so much patience. Why, there were moments where Edea and Agnès couldn't stand my company. Though, admittedly, I never have been this open with either of them." He stopped on a familiar page, one showing the three of his friends. "Losing Luxendarc put a lot into perspective. In a way, I suppose it made me stronger."
"Hmm… Then maybe I should look at what happened in Twilight Town as an opportunity to grow stronger myself." Taking in a deep breath, Aqua rose to her feet. "I doubt the Organization will hold back in the future. If anything, their attack was proof that they're willing to go to extremes to control and manipulate us."
"And I repeat, those fiends…" He blew a more agitated sigh this time, scowling down at the street. "But I suspect you're right. Those seeking power do have a nasty habit of using others as stepping stones. It's the same with the Duchy of Eternia. But all the same, I have full confidence that you and your friends will triumph sooner or later. And should you need my assistance…"
"Well, there is something you could do, if it's not too much trouble."
"Aqua, you've put up with far more than I could ever ask of you. Whatever it is you need, you need only say the word."
"Then… could you keep an eye on the people from Twilight Town? I'm not sure how long it'll take before the town is safe, and I think they could all use a friend. Someone who knows the loss they're experiencing."
"I'll do you one better." Tucking his journal away, he stood up beside her. "Why, I'll offer up space on Grandship and investigate the town myself."
Aqua stepped back, clenching her teeth. "Wait, are you sure that's a good idea? If the Organization finds you…"
He held up his hand. "Aqua, please. You and Sora have done so much for me, between your search for my friends and all our time spent together. If anything, this was long overdue."
"Even if it's dangerous?" A stupid question, Aqua knew. The answer was already clear as day.
"Ha! Whatever danger lurks, I'm more than willing to face it. And, as luck would have it…" He dug into his pocket, plucking out a peculiar glowing crystal. "I've a few tricks to even the odds, like this asterisk here."
Aqua squinted, her face scrunching up slightly. "Hm. And just what is an asterisk?"
"Ah, I suspect they're a Luxendarc exclusive. Just think of them as magic spheres that endow special powers. For example, the Dark Knight asterisk endows me with a striking suit of armor and some rather lethal abilities. And if you'd like, I'd be happy to give a demonstration." He winked, his tone taking on a more mischievous air and prompting another laugh out of her in the process.
She paused, considering this, but soon shook her head. "Maybe some other time. For now, I think I'm happy enough sitting under the stars."
"Very well, then. I suppose we should savor this moment while it lasts."
"Mm… And Ringabel?"
"Hm?"
"…Thanks."
x.x.x
A/N: There are other side scenes I need to write, but I got bitten by a plot bunny, and I just couldn't resist. Ringabel is just so much fun to write, and I find that he and Aqua have a lot in common. Especially in the Antipode 'verse. And, for those who may be wondering, I do have plans for him in Act 3.
As of 12/26/19, there is a new Side Stories scene that takes place chronologically between this and Love's Vagrant. It's A Heartfelt Holiday. Go check it out! :)