Another Night on Grandship

Set during All That's Left, Prior to Chapter 63;

x.x.x

Once upon a time, in a humble, provincial town, a proud, heroic man stood above all the rest. A hunter by trade, he'd stride through his home, carrying his latest kill over his shoulders. Men would cheer! Women would swoon! All but the one, far more beautiful than the rest. Clad in blue with her nose always buried in a book, she strode through the town without giving this hero a second look.

But it didn't matter, for deep within his heart, Gaston knew the day would come where he would capture that maiden's heart! Yes, it was all just a matter of time before she closed that book and saw what was right in front of her…

Or so he thought.

It all happened so fast. One night, the very night that crazy, old Maurice threw himself into the pub, the air crackled with lightning. Thunder bellowed. At the time, Gaston had chalked it up to nothing more than odd weather…

Then came the Heartless.

Dozens of shadowy, glowing-eyed fiends flooded the town, and though Gaston fought valiantly, blasting holes into their wretched hides with his shotgun, it wasn't enough.

Soon, he ran out of bullets, all while men, women, and children alike, wailed, screamed, and struggled! Perhaps that old fool wasn't so crazy after all. To think that such beasts really existed…

Gaston expected to die a hero's death.

Perhaps that would have been more dignified than his current circumstances.

For while he sat at the bar in a tavern filled with the familiar scents of beer and sweat, the atmosphere certainly… differed. One look over his shoulder, and Gaston found the usual, nonsensical subjects.

A rabbit woman dressed in some weird officer's uniform spoke to a pale, sharp-toothed woman with wild white hair.

To think there were worlds out there where animals walked on their hind legs and could hold a job in law enforcement… let alone women… Gaston scowled and gulped down his beer.

The so-called officer paid him no mind. "So. Care to explain why you were raiding our trash cans?"

The woman shrugged and smirked. "Look, cotton tail. You call it stealing. I call it recycling. If you're just gonna toss it in space, does it really matter?"

"Of course it matters! It's theft."

The sharp-toothed woman snorted and gulped down some… odd concoction. Apple's blood? Why did Gaston even remember that?

"Really? That's the hill you wanna die on?"

The rabbit stepped back, then huffed. "Is that a threat?"

"Pffft. Maybe instead of worrying about some missing garbage, you should watch out for that idiot raiding your storeroom."

"He what?!" The rabbit turned on a heel, but, ha…

Gaston set his mug down and cracked his knuckles. "Never fear! That bottom-dwelling pirate is no match for—"

THUD.

What the…?

A burst of wind shoved the storeroom door wide open. Before Gaston could move an inch, the alleged 'Captain' Jack Sparrow sailed through the air and crashed right into him, knocking both of them onto the ground.

The Proprietress stormed out, clutching a rolling pin, while that pretty boy captain with his stupid, swishy hair stood by her side.

...How humiliating.

To make matters worse, that scoundrel of a pirate patted Gaston on the head before stumbling back on his feet. "Tough luck, mate. But you'll get your chance one of these days, savvy?" His speech was slurred and his breath reeked of rum.

All eyes fell upon them. Wonderful.

And then came the laughter. Oh, the howls of laughter. Even that rabbit, as she dragged that pirate toward the door, muffled some giggles at his expense.

Worse, that white-haired woman snorted and cackled. "Wow. Dinner and a show? I knew I made the right choice sneaking in here."

As Gaston tried climbing back on his feet, some strange, white… thing looked down at him. "On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate your pain?"

But Gaston swatted its hand away and scoffed. "You call this pain? I've seen my share of tavern brawls and always come out on top. One little fall is nothing for a man like me!"

"Oh, puh-lease!" came another voice, this time from a blonde… pig woman he'd seen several times prior. "A real man has charm and sophistication. You're just a brainless brute."

Did she just…

Gaston's eyes popped wide open. His cheeks warmed. How dare that livestock—

Before he could speak, Lefou darted in front of him. "Hey! Don't you know who you're talking to?"

"Ugh. Of course I know," said the pig. "He only whines about it five times a week. Trophies, this. Glory, that."

...How dare she brush aside his accomplishments? Gaston's face twisted into a glare, and he raised his voice to assert his dominance.

"You wouldn't understand! You're just livestock in a dress!"

The chatter and laughter abruptly stopped.

That pig woman gasped. Footsteps from behind drew Gaston's focus to the prissy captain, who reached for the hilt of his sword.

"That's no way to speak to a woman, Gaston! Show some resp—"

But the pig shook her head. "It's all right, Ringy. He can think whatever he likes about moi." There was something about her tone of voice that was a bit… too sweet.

She pushed away from her chair. "So. Livestock, huh?"

If this was some ploy to lower his guard, it wouldn't work. No. Gaston would stand his ground. Enough was enough! He moved closer despite Lefou tugging on his pant leg and shooting him worried looks.

"Yes. Livestock. Bred by humans for food." What did he have to hide? He puffed out his chest and lifted his chin. "Really. I'm surprised this establishment even allows people like you! Cats on the stage. Rabbits in law enforcement. I'm amazed I haven't gotten fleas!"

"Oh, that's it!"

Back at her table, a strange frog man whimpered, "Piggy, we're in public…"

"I don't care, Kermie! This brute's had it coming for a long time…"

Before Gaston could speak, let alone blink, the pig woman lunged at him and struck him with her hand.

He skidded backwards, crashing into one of the tables.

Then everything went black.

x.x.x

Ringabel pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily. "I'm terribly sorry for the commotion, Hiro. Rest assured, Grandship isn't always this… chaotic." Well, perhaps that was a bit of a lie. By its very nature, Grandship attracted all manner of oddball patrons, but this…

He cast a glance across the tavern, where a certain golden robot and his pink-haired companion were fast at work cleaning up severed planks from Gaston's crash landing. Already, the mice Bernard and Bianca were hard at work putting out caution tape. An impressive feat for two small rodents, though Giselle joined in all while sweeping the surrounding area.

Hiro watched it all in stunned silence, rubbing the back of his neck. "Nah, it's fine. Doesn't make any sense, but hey. I'm just glad I wasn't the idiot she sent through that table."

The Proprietress sat a glass of steaming cocoa in front of him. "Bah. It's high time we put that bonehead on probation, anyway."

"So you're putting him on probation and not the pirate?"

"Bah. Jack's a nuisance, but we got him covered. 'Least he doesn't pick on our other patrons."

"Still seems kinda shady to let a pirate board in the first place." Still, Hiro blew on his mug and took a small sip.

Meanwhile, a bell chimed at the tavern's entrance, and Tiz entered the building, clad in red and white robes and a flat-topped hat. "Well, the good news is, nothing's broken. The bad news is… he's still complaining."

Miss Hopps trotted up to the bar. "Maybe I should write him up for being a public disturbance."

"Feel free!" Ringabel flashed her a smile. "And for what it's worth, my dear, I certainly don't consider you or any of our other furred residents flea-ridden."

"And we appreciate it, Captain." She turned, no doubt to return to her duties, before her ears folded back and she spun back around. "Aw, shoot! I almost forgot about that trash bandit."

"Aw, don't sweat it," said the Proprietress. "We appreciate the diligence, but sometimes ya just gotta let the small crimes slide."

"...Still doesn't explain the pirate, though." Hiro took another sip. "Actually, how does law enforcement even work on a ship like this? If everyone here's from another world, they've gotta have different laws, right?"

Tiz cupped his chin in hand, brows furrowed. "Actually, I've been wondering the same thing for a while…"

...Ah. They just had to ask the tough questions, didn't they? Ringabel heaved a heavy sigh and flopped over the bar. "Proprietress, could I get another cup of coffee? Something tells me this is going to take a while…"

A/N: Cameos include Robo from Chrono Trigger, Eda from The Owl House, Judy Hopps from Zootopia, Captain Jack Sparrow, Kermit and Miss Piggy, Baymax and Hiro, Bernard and Bianca from the Rescuers, Giselle from Enchanted... and well, Ringabel is a given given that it's Grandship.

This side story was a request from a friend and fan, JoelASalt. It was a silly one to write.