I don't own httyd
All right, gang, we'll buzz past the Scauldron and draw its attention so Astrid, Ruff, and Tuff can net it from behind and drag it out to sea, got it? Said Hicca.
I still think we should blast it said Tuffnut.
Stoick just wants us to move the Scauldron out of Berk's fishing lanes, so don't get any crazy ideas said, Asher.
Uh, sorry. Crazy is what we do, Asher. Duh said Ruffnut.
You guys do realize that a Scauldron's hot water blast can rip the scales right off a Screaming Death said Fishlegs.
There it is. Let's focus, guys said Hicca.
As usual, nobody's listening to Fishlegs said Fishlegs.
One... Two... Three said Hicca.
Ah-choo! Aah said Fishlegs.
Aaah! Help me said Snotlout.
Abort, abort! Ah! Fishlegs said Hicca.
Uhh! I knew I hated this mission said Snotlout.
Plasma blast, bud said Hicca.
Oh, I see how it is. You're allowed to blast it said Tuffnut.
You and your Snot-rockets almost got me killed said Snotlout.
Calm down, Snotlout, you lived. Yay us said, Asher.
No thanks to Itch-legs over here said Snotlout.
It's so weird. I mean, I never... oh... ever... Ah-choo get sick Ohh said Fishlegs.
Oh, gods said Hicca.
Dig deeper, see if you can draw blood said Tuffnut.
Well, something's clearly not right with you said Hicca.
I don't see what the big deal is, okay? Everybody sneezes and scratches sometimes said Fishleg.
Not like a honey-covered yak on an anthill. What? You've never seen a honey-covered yak on an anthill? Well, those things scratch. It's terrifying. The horrors haunt my dreams said Tuffnut.
I really don't feel sick, okay? I promise I'm fine said Fishleg.
Ugh. Well, maybe you're just allergic to something said Hicca.
Uh, that's impossible. Allergies don't run in the Ingerman family. I'm clean, serene and said Fishlegs.
And an itchin' machine said Ruffnut.
Might I interject? We, at the Thorston house, have a very simple allergen detection system. It has never failed said Tuffnut.
That's a system? Asks Ruffnut.
It is now said Tuffnut.
Scene changes to the academy
Thousand-year-old egg Said Tuffnut.
Slam this down your gullet said Tuffut.
Hmm. Oh, it could use a little sea salt said Fishlegs.
Ahh said Tuffnut.
What about this? Asks Ruffnut.
Aah said Fishlegs.
Yak hair. Takes itchy to a whole new level said Ruffnut.
Not really. Feels kind of like my old Aunt Gerta. You know she used to said Fishleg.
No, I'd like to be able to sleep tonight said Hicca.
Spoiled, coagulated goat milk with just a pinch of hoof jam. I find it changes the whole experience said Tuffnut.
Hmm. Oh, that is... cheesy and delicious said Fishlegs.
Ugh said All.
I'm telling you, I've never been allergic to anything. Ah-choo said Fishlegs.
Huh said Hicca.
What? What is it? Asks Fishlegs.
Fishlegs? I think you might be allergic to... Meatlug said Hicca.
Why, all of a sudden, would he be allergic to Meatlug? Asks Asher.
Perhaps it's just a simple case of adult-onset allergies said Tuffnut.
Ah, I concur with your diagnosis, Dr. Nut said Ruffnut.
I concur with your concur-ation said Tuffnut.
Adult-onset allergies develop in your elder years when your immune system mistakenly identifies a dangerous substance said Ruffnut
Don't be silly. There's no way I'm allergic to Meat said Fishlegs.
Oh, yeah, diagnosis confirmed said Ruffnut.
Fishlegs, there's only one person that might actually be able to help said Hicca.
Scene changes to Gothi's hut.
Ohh, I gotta see this said Snotlout.
What's she saying? Asks Fishlegs.
Huh said Gobber,
What? What? Asks Fishleg.
She wants to paralyze you said Gobber.
Yes said Snotlout.
Aah! Check that. Hypnotize. Sorry, she wants to hypnotize you said Gobber.
Uhh, come on said Snotlout.
Unfortunately, guys, this is never gonna work on me because I'm way too... Okay said Fishlegs.
Unconscious? Ha! Quick, put his hands in warm water said Snotlout.
We're not going to do that said Hicca.
Okay, now that he's under, she wants us to tell him that he's not allergic to Meatlug said Gobber.
Does that really work? Asks Snotlout.
I guess we'll find out said Hicca.
Here goes. Fishlegs, you are not allergic to Meatlug said Hicca.
So, that's it? Asks Snotlout.
Hypnosis is very powerful. Okay, let's bring him out of it said Hicca.
Now, now, now, hang on a second. We've got an opportunity here. We can rebuild Fish-face. We can turn him into a worshiped Viking, a fearless godlike hero as strong as three yaks! A Viking who commands attention! In other words, a Viking worthy of my friendship said Snotlout.
Uh, yeah, sorry, Snotlout, we're not doing any of that. You can bring him out of it now said Hicca.
Fishlegs? Asks Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Fishlegs? There's no Fishlegs here. Who is this pudgy little reptile?
Well, that was a bit harsh said Gobber.
Fishlegs, are you all right? Asks Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Are you deaf, skinny, one-legged girl? The name's Bonecrusher. Aah! Thor Bonecrusher.
Snotlout, do you realize what you've done? You fool, you've created said Hicca.
My very own super-Viking... Thor Flipping Bonecrusher! I love it said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Oh, hello.
And Gothi can't just turn him back? Asks Asher.
Not without her staff, which Thor Bonecrusher crushed and threw off the cliff said Hicca.
So, TB, you're not afraid of anything, huh? Aha! Said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Mmm.
Oh said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Ha! Child's play.
How about fire? Asks Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: I scoff at fire!
Fire! My house is on fire! Someone threw a torch on my house said Woman 1.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Perfect, a call to action.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Please hold your applause until the end of the rescue. You may commence.
Fishlegs said Woman 1.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Fishlegs? Why does everybody keep calling me Fishlegs?
But you're Fishlegs... Fishlegs said Woman 1.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Nonsense, crone!
Oh said Woman 1.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Uhh! People of Berk... It is with great pleasure that I announce the arrival of me, Thor Bonecrusher. The most universally feared and loved Viking in all the land is here to enchant you with my presence.
Oh! Look out, the cart! Said man 1.
What? Said Hicca.
Ah! The baby! Said woman 2.
Viking: Huh? Yeah! Apple-boot!
Fishlegs [Thor]: All in a day's work.
Did you see that?! That was incredible! He ran, and then did a flip and then a toss and then a thing, and then flipped into the other thing. Ohh! He's amazing said Snotlout.
Is it me, or did Snotlout just fall in love with Fishlegs? Asks Asher.
Bonecrusher! Bonecrusher! Bonecrusher said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Shh, everyone! Thor hears the sound of a baby yak in trouble.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Hyah!
Fishlegs [Thor]: Sleep well, little yak. Sleep well.
Fishlegs [Thor]: [chuckles] I shall, citizen, I shall. But first, I must claim a weapon befitting a god!
Thor, you have got to teach me that Viking yak pinch. Aah! Ow! Said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: All in the wrist, Snot-man.
Scene changes to the smithy.
Fishlegs [Thor]: You, simple blacksmith.
Simple blacksmith? Said Gobber.
Uh, how about this one? Asks Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Oh, that's perfect... for removing splinters.
What about this one? You can use it to annihilate your enemies said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: That's a nice handle, I suppose... if I had wee lady hands/
Huh. I made that handle with my best leather said Gobber.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Ahh! Hmm.
Eh? Asks Gobber.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Now, this. This is an ax for a Viking.
Ahh said Snotlout.
That's Stoick's ax said Gobber.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Correction: This was Stoick's ax.
Uh, okay, uh, Fishlegs? I-I mean, Bonecrusher. Stoick isn't exactly the kind of chief who likes to share his things, especially his ax said Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Neither do I. If this Stoick fellow wants it, he can always try and take it back from me.
Oh, man! He just totally called out Stoick! How much do we love this guy? Said Snotlout.
Okay, this is getting out of hand. We need to get Thor Bonecrusher back to Gothi before we lose Fishlegs forever said Hicca.
I totally agree. Just one question. Where'd he go? Said Gobber.
So there I was, Thor Bonecrusher, perched on an inferior dragon as we approached the vicious Scauldron, faster than Odin on his eight-legged horse.
You could have Hookfang next time. He's a Monstrous Nightmare, scariest dragon of all said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Monstrous Nightmare? Sounds like my post-mutton trip to the outhouse.
Good one said Snotlout.
Poor Meatlug. Wouldn't even wear her saddle. Look at her. So lonely. We've got to do something with her said Gobber.
I'll take care of Meatlug said Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: My chances of survival were slim. I only had one option.
Fishlegs [Thor]: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Fishlegs [Thor]: No, I had something very special in store for that Scauldron.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Engage the beast, dragon! Aah! Aah!
Fishlegs [Thor]: He narrowly escaped. However, next time, victory shall be mine!
Put me in your next story! Just as the background. But please? Said Snotlout.
Fishlegs! Is that my ax? Asks Stoicks/
Uh, Daddy, that's not Fishlegs Fishlegs said Hicca.
Don't be daft. I'm looking right at him, holding my ax, by the way, said Stoick.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Ah, you must be Stoick the Vast... ly overrated.
What did you call me? What did he call me? Asks Stoick.
That's what I'm trying to tell you. He's not himself said Hicca.
Give me back my ax said, Stoick.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Don't you mean my ax?
He was just polishing it for you, Chief said Gobber/
Let me handle this. I will get your ax back to you, I promise said Hicca.
Fine, but make it quick, or I'll take it from him myself said, Stoick.
Chief, let's get out of here. How about a nice piece of mutton? Said Gobber.
Fishlegs: I hope this won't take long, sorceress. I like to nap after a feast of wild boar and mead.
Thanks, Gothi, we really need Fishlegs back said Hicca
Ugh! What was in that potion? Asks Asher.
It wasn't a potion. Just spiced yak bladder." She says that'll teach him to break her staff said Gobber.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Not the most delicate delicacy.
What about getting Fishlegs back? Asks Asher.
She can't re-hypnotize him without her staff said Gobber.
Great. Now what? Asks Asher.
Fear. Only a true feeling of terror will shock Fishlegs back to normal said Gobber.
But Mr. Thor Bonecrusher over here isn't afraid of anything.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Truer words were never spoken, my Viking comrade.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Now, where is that snotty fellow? We have business to discuss.
Hicca, you may want to swing by the old homestead. Your father is in a bit of a... state said Hicca.
Get this dragon off me said, Stoick.
Daddy, she's just lonely said Hicca.
If she doesn't get off me, we'll be having Gronckle for breakfast said, Stoick.
We need to get Fishlegs back before this gets any worse said Hicca.
Hicca said, Asher.
Let me guess. It's Thor said Hicca.
Yeah, and Snotlout. And you're not gonna believe where they're headed said, Asher.
Scene changes to the two boys on Hookfang.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Ohh! Can't this overgrown lizard fly any faster?
Come on, Hookfang, you're embarrassing me said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Onward, Snot-man. We must find a dragon worthy of my command. My destiny awaits!
Back on Berk.
Bonecrusher is going after the Scauldron! Bonecrusher is going after the Scauldron! Said Viking 1.
Oh, he's going to tame the Scauldron said Viking 2.
He's gonna get killed by the Scauldron said Hicca.
Scene to out at sea.
They have to be down there somewhere said Hicca.
What was Snotlout thinking? Asks Hicca.
He wasn't. He's in love. He'd do anything for his big hunk of bone-crushing love said, Asher.
Well, we better find them before they find the Scauldron said Hicca.
Scene changes to the two boys.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Just think, Snotlout, at any moment, the giant beast will emerge from the water and I will tame him. Or he'll kill you.
Ha! You're funny, TB said Snotlout.
Listen, let me throw something out there. What if we... I don't know... head back, call it a day, relax at the Great Hall, tell some more really cool stories said Snotlout.
You know, I've heard that a Scauldron's hot water blast can rip the scales off of a Screaming Death said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: What gutless fool told you that?
Ohh said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Nonsense. Thor Bonecrusher cannot return to Berk dragon-less. Negative, Snot-man. I am not leaving these waters without my prize.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Aha! Time to engage my quarry. Dive, dragon, dive!
Aah! My super-Viking's gone rogue said Snotlout.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Fire!
Okay, that ought to do it, right, TB said? Asks Snotlout.
[Fishlegs [Thor]: Uhh! Dance, big boy.
There they are! Come on said Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Uhh! Easy, now, big fella. Ohh!
Aah! Help... me said Snotlout.
Snotlout's in the water said, Asher.
You guys grab him. I'll go after Fishlegs said Hicca.
Okay. Stormfly, let's go said, Asher.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Ah! This is what I live for!
Whoa said Hicca.
Keep looking, he must be here somewhere said, Asher.
So, how hard do you think we really need to look? I'm thinking some passing glances might do the trick said Tuffnut.
Well, the sooner we rescue Snotlout, the sooner we can watch Fishlegs get eaten by the Scauldron said Ruffnut.
Well, if you put it that way, let's go said Tuffnut.
Fishlegs [Thor]: It would be so much easier if you'd just submit to your new master.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Got you where I want you.
Hookfang! Oh, can this possibly get any worse? Asks Snotlout.
Worse! Way worse! Aah! Whoa! Hey. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I will never try to give you away ever again said Snotlout
What the said Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Whoa!
Toothless, watch out! Come on, jump over said Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Retreat? In my moment of glory? Never! Whoa!
Yes, Meatlug! No, Meatlug said Hicca.
Fishlegs [Thor]: Stop, dragon. I, Thor Bonecrusher, command you to stop. Raaah!
Fishlegs [Thor]: No!
No! Not my Meatlug! You leave my dragon alone! No said Fishlegs.
That was a little too close said Hicca.
Speak for yourself. That was freakin' awesome said Tuffnut.
Oh, I'm so sorry, girl. I don't know what happened to me. I just... I wasn't myself said Fishlegs.
Oh, I missed you! Oh! How did I say Fishlegs?
Long story. I'll explain later said Hicca.
Scene changes to Berk
So, what happened to the Scauldron? Asks Stoick.
He's been relocated said Hicca.
And my ax? Asks Stoick.
Uh... Also relocated said Hicca.
You know, Fishlegs, you didn't sneeze once the whole ride home said, Asher.
Yeah. And my legs don't itch anymore said Fishlegs.
And Meatlug isn't wearing her saddle. Maybe you were never allergic to her, you were allergic to the saddle said Hicca.
But why, all of a sudden, would I become allergic to her saddle? Asks Fishlegs.
Well, uh, I've been using a different kind of wax on the saddles. Look at that said Gobber.
Ugh said All.
Oh, great said Tuffnut.
What? I never run out of the stuff. It's coming out of my ears said Gobber.
Well... ah-choo! I'm allergic to Gobber's earwax? Said Fishlegs.
Ohh. Ha said Gobber.
I am both relieved and disgusted. What? What is it? Said Fishlegs.
I'm just thinking of what might have been. You broke my heart, Thor. You broke it right in two said Snotlout.
Okay, that was creepy, right? Asks Fishlegs.
You don't know the half of it said Hicca.
Oh, I miss you, Thor said Snotlout.