Willow lay awake in Harriets bed, her lover asleep next to her. Her head clouded, spinning with a difficult decision to make. Stay in the UK, with Harry or move back home, close to Matt. Why is this decision so hard? My head is saying go home, be close to Matt for the girls, close to mom and the others. But then my heart says stay. I think of all the shit thats happened this last year, everything we went through with him and how much Harriet has been there for me and the girls. I cant just up and leave her. I love her. Shes been my rock throughout these seven months, just like Matt was for those last nine years. Willow thought as she turned to face her sleeping girlfriend. I do love you Harry, but ever since Matt came back i feel like we've been on this downward spiral. I dont want to lose you but i cant help but feel like my feelings for Matt are coming i really forgive him and give hime yet another chance? Willow sighed quietly as she got out of bed and headed to the living area, where she flicked on the tv and sat alone with the never ending circle of questions in her head.
Willow didnt know how long she had been sat staring blankly at the images on the tv infront of her. She thought she might have fallen asleep, she didnt even know what she was watching it was just a blur of images. She didnt even hear Harriet enter the room, calling her name. "Wills? Willow?" Harriet said quietly, not sure if Willow was awake or not. "Wills, did you not hear me calling you?" She asked as she sat next to her girlfriend. "Sorry Harry, i was miles away. What time is it?" Willow replied, as Harriet put her arms around her. "Its about 3am. Whats going on? You look like youve barely slept" Harriet asked "Its just this stupid decision about staying or going. My head says one thing, but my heart says another" Willow said as she leaned into Harriet before continuing, "I think my head may overrule my heart with this one. I just have to work things out on my own" "Are you leaning towards one more than the other?" Harriet asked as Willow shook her head. "Im totally torn" she said, finally yawning. "Come on Wills, lets go to bed" Harriet said as she turned the tv off, before kissing Willow and leading her into her bedroom where they collapsed once again, into bed together.
Harriet awoke a few hours later and saw the sleeping redhead in her bed and smiled. "I love having you here in my bed" she said quietly as she brushed Willows hair off her face, as she heard her cell ringing in the living area. She groaned as she left the bed to answer the call, moaning when she saw the time and number as she answered "Hello, Harriet Jones speaking" "Hello Miss Jones, this is Paul Rogers from Vogue Australia. We've seen your work and we are mighty impressed. We want to know if youve had a chance to think over our job offer" the guy said on the other end of the call. "Its a very generous offer but i still need some time to think it over. Ive got commitments and its a huge move for me" Harriet replied as Paul said "Well you would be photography director. I know its only temporary for a year, but it could be made permanent. I'll email you the details" "Thank you for the offer, can i take a few days to think it over?" Harriet asked as Paul agreed before hanging up. As she turned around, she saw Willow in the doorway, wearing one of her oversized shirts. "Who was that babe?" Willow asked as Harriet walked over to her. "No one important. Its still early, lets go chill in bed for a while, its not even 7am " she said taking Willows hand, "baby your're cold. We are going to go get back into bed, and chill until at least 10am" "That sounds good" Willow replied, "and you can tell me all about that phone call"
"I love having you here, in this bed with me" Harriet said as she and Willow lay in each others arms. "And i love being here with you" Willow replied as she kissed her "Now tell me about this phone call" "Theres nothing to tell Wills. It was just a job offer but im not sure i want to take it" Harriet said kissing Willow. "Its not like you to turn down a job. Where is it? Whats it doing?" Willow asked as Harriet replied "Ok, fine. It was my actual dream job. Photography director at Vogue" "You have to take it Harry. Its too good to pass up" Willow said as Harriet shook her head "Its not based in London, Wills. Its in Australia. Id be gone for a year, if not longer" "Australia? Harry thats insane. You have to take it" Willow replied, knowing, deep down, that she was the reason Harriet wasnt taking the job. "Wills, its not that simple. Ive got commitments here, ive got the studio plans. Ive got you to consider" Harriet said as Willow replied "Harry you have to take it. Would you take the job if i wasnt around?" "I dont know. I think i would but id still have to consider things." Harriet replied as she and Willow lay in silence, both of them slowly realising they were suddenly wanting very different things. "Are you holding back from this job because of me?" Willow asked quietly after what felt like an eternity of silence. "Its part of the reason. I love you Wills and i dont want to move half way round the world without you" Harriet replied as she turned to face her. "Wills, would you have come with me if you werent planning on going home?" Willow nodded as she turned her head. "Of course i would, but i havent actually decided if im going or staying yet" She replied, before adding "But I really think you should take the job Harry. Its your dream job, its a once in a lifetime opportunity and if you stay here because of me, you'll only grow to resent me for stopping you from taking it. And i dont want that" "I wouldnt Wills. I couldnt resent you" Harriet said as she faced Willow, "I love you Willow." "I love you too Harriet, but you will grow to hate me. Ive been down that road before. The person grew to resent me so much and it got someone killed. I dont want that for us" Willow replied, trying to hold back tears. "So what do you propose we do Wills?" Harriet asked, her heart breaking not wanting to say it herself. "I dont know Harry. Maybe we need a few days apart to clear our heads, work things out? Or do we just bite the bullet and admit that breaking up is the best thing for us?" Willow said as she got out of the bed and got dressed quickly and headed into the living area.
"Do you really mean that Willow? You want to break up?" Harriet called out as she followed Willow into the living area. "Of course i dont want to break up" Willow replied as Harriet cut her off, "Is this because of Matt? Do you still love him?" she asked as Willow replied "This has nothing to do with him" "You still didnt answer the other part of my question, do you still love him?" Harriet asked as Willow blurted it out, unable to keep it hidden any longer "Yes, i love him. I dont think i ever stopped deep down. There will always be a part of me that will" "Is that why you wanted me to take the job in Australia? So you can get back with him?" Harriet asked as Willow shook her head. "Its nothing like that. I have no intention of getting back with him" she said, wiping tears from her face. "You know what, im going to go. I really didnt want it to end this way, but its clear that you dont trust me" Willow said as she headed towards the door, Harriet blocking her way. "Of course i trust you Wills. Its Matt i dont. Its obvious he still loves you and now you saying you still love him? What am i supposed to think?" Harriet said as Willow sighed. "I want you to trust me. I want you to take that job in Australia because i know that you will be amazing, not because of Matt being here. And i think, right now youre stopping yourself from going because of me." she said, finally knowing what the right thing to do was. "Which is why im removing myself from the situation" What? What do you mean Wills?" Harriet asked as she knew what was coming. "Im more than likely going to go back to North Carolina. Its only fair on the girls. Plus i miss my family, my friends, my job. Everything and everyone i love is over there" "Everyone except me" Harriet interrupted. "Harry its not like that" Willow began to explain but Harriet cut her off again. "I think youre right. I think you should go, im done Wills. We're going round in circles here and i cant do it. Im done. We're done, its over"
"Wills, you ok? Youve been quiet for the last few days" Matt asked one night, after Jasmine and Ruby were asleep in bed. "Youve barely eaten. Whats going on?" "Im fine Matt. Ive just felt a bit off lately. I think its down to having my final treatment in a few days" Willow replied, lying to her ex not wanting to tell him what was really going on. "Im going to go to bed. Im really not feeling too good" She said as she stood up and headed upstairs. As soon as she got to her room, she locked the door and broke down on her bed crying silently until she fell asleep as she had done the last three nights. Awaking in the early hours, she grabbed her tablet and headed downstairs to call Amy. Willow sat on the sofa and dialled her moms number, hoping shed pick up her facetime call. Come on mom, please pick up. I need to talk to you Willow thought as just kept on ringing. Willow hung up and dialled Ellys number, followed by Brooke, Becky and eventually Trish, with the latter answering.
"Hey Wills, whats going on?" Trish asked as Willow replied "Harriet and i broke up a few days ago. Ive barely slept, i cant eat. Im a mess and i dont know what to do" "Wills im so sorry about you and Harriet. I know you loved her and cared for her alot." Trish said as Willow nodded and said, "I did. I still do but it was really for the best. Harry was refusing to take her dream job because of me and i dont want to be responsible for holding her back. I didnt want her to grow to resent me" "But do you want her to stay?" Trish asked as Willow shook her head. "I dont know. Part of me does, but then the other part of me is thinking im probably going to be coming home sooner rather than later we'd be breaking up anyways" "Youre coming home? Matt will love having you and the girls back" "Im not moving back with Matt. Im getting my own place" Willow replied feeling the tears building up. "What is going on with you two? Do you still love him?" Trish asked as Willow sighed. "Its messy and complicated with him. I dont even know whats going on in my head. I guess just having him here, its stirred old feelings up. Nothings happened before you ask. I just need to focus on me and my recovery for a while" "Number one. You need closure with Harriet. It sounds like you have regrets with it ending" Trish said before adding "Number two. You should really tell Matt whats going on. He can be there for you when we cant. When is your final treatment anyways?" "Two days. Then if i go into remission it'll quartley check ups for a while and at least a year before i can even consider getting back into a ring" Willow replied as Trish asked "You want to get back in the ring?" "I do. I think ive still got a match or two in me. Plus i want Jas and Rubes to see their mom kick ass before retiring for good" "You want to retire? Wills youre still young and can still go in the ring" Trish said, shocked by Willows revelation. "I know but my priorities have changed. Jas and Rubes are my number one priorities, followed by my health. Im just being prepared incase i have another long battle" Willow replied, tears starting to flow down her face. "Thanks for this Trish, i needed to get this out of my head" "No need to thank me Wills. Im always here if you need me, we are family" Trish replied as the two women hung up. As Willow put her tablet on the table, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
Willow had barely put her tablet down when she heard Matt behind her. "I heard voices Wills. You ok?" he asked as Willow faced him, the tears still on her face as she shook her head. "Ive just been talking to Trish. You know ive not been myself for the last few days and i just needed someone to help clear my head" Willow replied as Matt sat next to her, wiping away her tears. "So whats with the tears? And dont lie Wills, i know you" he asked as she sighed and replied "Harriet and i broke up. A few days back" "Im sorry Wills. I know you really cared for her" Matt began to say as Willow shook her head. "Save it Matt. I dont need pity, i need someone who is going to be there for me and the girls when things go to hell. When im still undergoing cancer treatment for the forseeable future" she said as Matt put his arms around her as she broke down. "I'm not going anywhere Wills. Im here for you and the girls. No matter what, i will always be here for you" he said as she looked at him, a sadness and longing in her eyes. "Wills, i know this year has been tough and not what we planned but i do plan on making things right. Even though i know you dont want to be with me, im always with you. I love you Wills, i never stopped. I know you dont want to hear it, but i mean it. I love you" Matt continued as he wiped away her tears. "Matt, youre right i didnt want to hear it. I needed to" Willow whispered as she felt his breath on her face and then before she knew it, her lips were on his. Locked together for the first time in over a year.
As they pulled apart, Willow had instant regret. "I cant. Im sorry Matt but that should not have happened" she said quietly, her head and heart full of confusion over what she'd just done. "Wills, dont apologise. I should have stopped it too" Matt said as he tried to touch Willows hand, but she pulled away. "Im serious Matt. I cant. Its just too messed up. Im too messed up" she said as she stood up and ran upstairs, Matt remaining on the sofa. Both of them confused as to where they stood with each other.