Yeah. This chapter is a little bit weird. I guess this is what happens you write a fanfic about a largely unexplored world. You make up stupid shit.
Chapter 16
"Bit of world building"
And so Lucifugus continued his work, now with a Healer on his shoulder telling him about what's right and wrong in his laws. A rather interesting addition that was by all means
"Now, now I believe it should say "The ownership over the land MUST be respected by Devils of all classes and the head of the land or their family if the head is dead will choose who to pass it onto." Does it sound good?"
Terrible. Absolutely terrible.
"I still can't fathom how families are a thing here." Lucifugus grabbed his head with his free head "Besides, what is wrong with how I wrote it?"
Lucifugus has been struggling now with writing anything without hearing her complain and asking for changes. It started to REALLY get on his nerves.
"Because it says and I quote "Ownership over the land can be decided by a fight between two parties and the one to come out on top will take it over." end of quote." She then flew up to Lucifugus's face "My main problem with this is that you don't specify that there has to be respect given to the owner of the land. Giving respect means that it's up to Owner of the land to even agree for such a duel to happen, your law gives no such choice. That way there can be a choice for the owner and not respecting that will result in arrest of the Devil that wants to take it over."
So many words and so little interest. Lucifugus really didn't want to think too much over those damn laws, but this Devil was really making him feel worse and worse as he thought more about this. This job was more complicated than he ever wished it to be. Eventually Healer sat again at his shoulder, reading the book. But there was one word that stood out to Lucifugus more than any other.
Arrest?
"Arrest." Lucifugus said to himself, trying to wrap his head around existence of such concept here "Is something like this even happening here? Does anyone actually practice it?"
Healer looked back at him with a rather serious look on her face. It was strange given how similar she is to Megi. The lack of the smug aura on such a face really disturbed him.
"I personally witnessed several arrests... Some of them happened to Warmonger." Her voice slightly wavered as she mentioned Warmonger, but she quickly regianed her composure "From what I get to see on many levels there are groups of Devils that create a group that carries out the arrests, I believe creation of such things was part of one of your decrees my Lord."
"Huh...? (I don't even remember that. Seems pretty out of character for me...)" Is it really? "I wonder what makes them do that. From what I remember this place is one big chaotic pit where everything goes in absolute worst direction. So what makes them do that?"
"OO! OO! I KNOW MY LORD!"
Pen wiggled in Lucifugus's hand which made Lucifugus open it and bring Pen up to his face.
"I remember that one! One of the first you wrote with me. Good times!" Pen started looking into space for a moment, probably daydreaming about that day " It went like this "Creation of Law Enforcement, Devils of all classes are allowed to join and each one will be rewarded at least with 500 stone horns. The pay can be higher, depending on the group and level! But payment will be given if a Devil will make enough arrests which also depends on the group!" Did I do good my Lord?"
Pen's voice became strangely serious as he quoted that law and his return to his usual carefree self was off putting to say the least.
"Uhhh... Sure... " Lucifugus tried to ignore it "(Did I really wrote that? I really see little point with it)"
There is a point.
"500 Stone Horns... That's pretty good payment, but the part with paying only if enough arrests are made is quite terrible, it basically pushes towards unfair judgements and punishing of innocent Devils. Now it makes sense why I even saw them." Healer sounded very concerned and disappointed. Lucifugus couldn't fathom why he even cared about it.
Neither can I.
"(Ah yes, that's why I wrote it)" Memories came back, meaning became clear "Hmm, you are right. One of my better ideas."
"My Lord!" She sounded very offended by that choice of words. Good. "This law it's... you need to change it. Forcing such a thing brings nothing but misery."
"That's kind of the point." Lucifugus gave Healer a very carefree look "Besides, come on Healer. There is no such thing as innocent Devil. Every single one of us deserves a punishment, even you have to-"
Then he realized what he was saying as he looked at Healer and Pen. No... They-
They do.
"(Fuck off...)"
You know
"Wait, wait that's not-"
But Healer interrupted him by raising her hand. She didn't even seem shocked, just... tired.
"No my Lord. You are right. None of us are innocent. None of us are undeserving of some punishment. Not even me. But I believe that pushing something like this... it creates situations where punishments much worse than one Devil deserves are given." Healer's voice returned to being empathetic "I hear several things about them. Mutilation of bodies, skinning, organ selling, slavery, killing off family members... How many had to endure it without deserving something like this?"
Healer's words were not particularly striking to Lucifugus. He remembered such things happening to Devils all the time. But the way she was saying it... It made it feel wrong...
"...Does it at least work somehow?" Lucifugus asked with his voice bearing a slight hints of concern and shame "(Why do I even ask?)"
Healer just looked down again on the book. She was again playing a bit with her hair. Must have been a way for her to keep her focus.
"*sigh*...In some capacity. With each year the chaos is getting smaller, that's why Warmonger with his attitude was pretty special these days. But Law mostly works when it's about same class Devils clashing, Devils can still be free to do whatever they want with Devils of lower class which is what happens most of the time and often is the most infuriating to watch."
Lucifugus noticed this topic is clearly making her more and more angry. The more she talked about, the more venom appeared in her voice. More frustration. And she started playing with her hair a little more erratically.
"Okay... I get it..." Lucifugus ended this before she started getting really angry "Maybe I'll make some... adjustments later."
Excuse me?
Those words seemed to to cause a reaction from her. She let go of her hair and looked at Lucifugus with noticeable shock and... relief.
"For now though I have another question. What the hell are Stone Horns?" Lucifugus's ignorance showed itself to be deeper than once could imagine
"Wh... you don't even know that!?"
Especially for Healer was incredibly confused
"What?" Not like Lucifugus cared that much
"Don't you pay those Pens!?" Healer pointed at Pen in his hand
"I don't even know how many I have..." Lucifugus said as he put Pen on his black energy on his body again "Get to the point."
"Oh sweet Lucifero kill me..." She was very defeated at this point "Okay, Stone Horns are made of stone as you may guess and their creation involves Horns of beaten Devils in Honor duels."
"Honor Duels?" Yet another strange phrase
"Honor Duels!" Pen hearing this phrase jumped high and onto Lucfugus's shoulder "I love Honor Duels!"
Pen said with excitement and started mimicking some strange punch moves
"I watch them sometimes in the box! We all get in the circle and watch two fight." Pen took some sort of fighting position "One does this, other does that"
Pen said while he was punching and kicking the air in the most stylish way he could. It wasn't much, but he tried.
It was still pathetic
"(Can you shut up for a moment?!)"
"AND OTHER DOES THA-"
*PUNCH*
"That punch accidentally landed straight on Lucifugus's right cheek. It was a punch Pen for some reason put his all into which Lucifugus could clearly feel... No... Not just feel... It... fucking... HURT!
"OW! MOTHERFU..!"
And he grabbed his right cheek and moved very quickly which caused Pen to fall down on the desk, Healer was able to hold onto him. Pen managed to somehow land on his feet. But once he did his face became filled with terrible fear
"AH! I'M SORRY!" Pen was screaming as he covered his face and fell on his knees. "SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY!"
Pen kept on repeating it with his face buried in the ground as Lucifugus still spewed more curses into the air
"LOWSHIT! FUCK! CUNT! I SWEAR I WILL EAT THE REST OF YOUR BRAIN! FUUUCK!" His voice once again took on this strange tone
Healer quickly went up to his right side as Lucifugus was still throwing curses, but then Lucifugus raised his left hand to stop her. The screaming also seemed to stop.
"There is... no need." Lucifugus's voice while still clearly angry became far more calm "It's just a minor thing... It just... surprised me (Damn... it was a while since I actually felt pain... But... how?)"
At this sign Healer slowly returned to his left shoulder
"I... I see My Lord" She bowed her head a little, but inside of her head was now a raging storm "(What the hell was that? A low one from 1st level just hurt... him? Wait now that I think about it... Something similar happen to me when he...)"
Healer just looked at cowering Pen who was still apologizing to his lord with his face covered. The way he sounded reminded her of Warmonger in his final moments. She didn't want to think about it. Lucifugus on the other hand seemed to regain composure. It seems it was really nothing that bad, just overreaction.
"Right..." He was calm again and his gaze turned to Pen cowering on the desk "Pen stop apologizing. I wont hurt you for this..."
Lucifugus said... and it was strange for him to say those words. He did hurt Pens for far less. This one actually in some way caused him pain even if it was a minor one. Peculiar to say the least.
Unthinkable to say the least
"I...I didn't..." Pen's voice was shaking horribly "I really... I..."
Pen though didn't seem to even realize how strange it was. He was too fixated on the fact that he hit him. Such sorrow, such pain... it should bring Lucifugus some joy, but now.
"(I don't feel anything. I feel empty. But in a way this small pain, it's like for the first time I did feel something in a long, long time which made me realize this terrible emptiness)
So Lucifugus just picked Pen up. He was scared and still shaking.
"Stop making a fool out of yourself." Lucifugus said in a very stern tone, trying to reach Pen's ears "You didn't hurt me that much."
Lucifugus said, but Pen still was hiding his face in shame.
"Ugh... Okay." He turned his head to the Middle "Healer, maybe end your little storytime about Stone Horns. Maybe that will calm him down."
"Umm. Right, right... So... *cough*" She was preparing for most likely very long speech "The Horns are ripped out off the beaten foe in an honor duel that two Devils agree to. We as Devils can regrow them when we want to, but in honor duels like this there can be time agreed to as to when the horns can regrow. The winner takes the horns and goes to the levels Stonemason who uses his magic to carve Stone Horns, this process takes toll on real horns and after a set amount they break, the amount depends on how powerful the foe was. Obviously ones own horns cannot be used. Yours for instance my Lord (is it 4 or 2?) would most likely be worth a ton, at least 1000 Stone Horns for one made in their image and as Supreme Devil I believe amount would most likely fill an entire level."
That was a lot to take in. This... "currency" sounded very strange. Lucifugus still didn't know why he even made something like this.
"Thanks... I guess" Lucifugus said, trying to ignore what she said about his horns "(Pride is a Lucifero's thing... and I already learned to keep it down... Fucking Megi). So the Stone Horns give actual meaning to fights. Interesting. Now that I think about it... How did you survive? You don't strike me as a warrior type."
My Healing services were very important... On my level there are little to no other Healing Devils... I may have been the only one. For a while Warmonger was also protecting me, but once he was... gone... My services stopped being free, much less cheap for Devils of truly vile nature. Winners had to pay me. That way I would also avoid getting attached to any other Devil." That last part was said very quietly "And I'm not gonna lie... sometimes I demanded more for particular ones I didn't like. As I said I'm not innocent."
Lucifugus could see that. Seems like with time she grew more of a backbone. Lucifugus respected that... which for some reason made him more frustrated at how timid she acted around him... It felt wrong.
"And how expensive would healing be for me?" Lucifugus asked her. He was interested to hear what she has to say "(Show me some of the real you)"
That one in a way shooked Healer, but then quickly she smiled and said
"If I wasn't working for you now, you would have the most expensive service of any devil My Lord."
This made him smile. Her real self wasn't half bad.
"Cheeky..." Lucifugus became more relaxed now, but then a thought came to him "But given that... Does that mean Warmonger...?"
That question though made her lose this smile. Lucifugus felt slight regret for asking that.
"(Stupid... stupid...)"
You don't actually care
"No..." sorrow could be heard in her voice "He never took anyone's horns."
"..."
Lucifugus knew any answer here would be bad and he felt terrible because of it, but he did notice a sudden absence of scared shaking on his right hand. He looked at it and saw Pen sitting and listening with a smile on his face.
"(At least he is back to normal)" One positive thing "Okay. Let's get back to-"
"Before that My Lord..." Healer interrupted him "I gotta ask. Why is it taking so long for you to write this book?"
Healer asked him a question with uncertain answer
"What?" Especially to the governor himself
"You were writing it for a very long time. Longer than I was alive and yet you still work on it and it has... smaller amount of pages than I would think a book written for so long would have." She pointed at the book
"Hmm... (She is right it has at this point about 25.000 pages are covered in this humongous book, most of it may be even outdated with what I wrote recently, still in such a long time there should be far more, but then again, it's supposed to be a book of law... it shouldn't be this long I think)" He didn't have a good answer so he had to think of one for now "Often times I find myself thinking of what else I can write these days, talking with Pen, sometimes I take breaks. And... there are days when I need to write those laws for Underworld."
He used one of his worse experiences that was now slowly resurfacing in his mind.
"huh?" Healer seemed interested
"(Now I remember the WORST part of this job) There are days when I need to write the pages for Underworld. This right here is the original book, but with each new pages I write I have to copy them, so I can spread them around the Underworld." He said as he patted a small amount of paper that was lying in stock next to the book "It takes a LONG time, tedious work that forces me to write thousands of pages and then take them and spread them across every level."
"I... Wait... I didn't see you do that at any point here." She made a good point
"You are right. For good chunk of last few years I've been stuck here so there is no point in making copies, I can't go anywhere." His arm slowly stretched out, showing the walls of this Workshop "Creep put me here and now I cannot leave and he only brings out Pens that go to their level after work time is over and brings them in later. And sometimes carries a message from Lucifero."
"Why?"
"I asked him about his favorite Era of that Band of Middles that started to disappear." The best summary he could muster for now "Suggesting he liked one more than others..."
"That seems uncalled for My Lord." Even Healer knew that
"I know." Lucifugus put his hand on his forehead, this topic made his head ache "He got angry, knocked me out and locked me on this strange level with my equipment . (is this even a level?)"
"Uh uh... But wait my Lord. About that copying thing..." She raised one of her fingers "Couldn't you hire someone to help you?"
"Like anyone wants to do such a tedious job." Lucifugus knew how unreal that would be. No amount of pay would convince anyone
"No I mean you could hire a Devil with a magic that copies objects I met like two on my level." She pointed out
Lucifugus then stopped moving for a moment... Things like this existed? There are Devils like...
You are going to explode now aren't you?
"GHR...GHH! GAAAAAAAAAAAH-" He is about to- "NO... No! CALM! Down... *Sigh* No... I didn't think of that."
Lucifugus managed to keep his cool at the last minute. But at this moment Lucifugus was fuming and his sudden outburst made Healer hide behind Pen that Lucifugus in his short rage time dropped again. In this moment he almost blew up entire workshop...
"Now... Let's move on..." No more explosion inducing topics "There are also days when I check some letters. Sometimes there are complaints send to me and I sometimes read them."
"Sometimes?"
Healer asked as she stopped hiding behind Pen
"Yeah... With how many there are I don't bother to read them most of the time, but there come days when I do. But many of them are not that interesting or helpful." Lucifugus didn't sound particularly thrilled about mentioning them
"I like letters. Sometimes they are funny!"
Pen said to Lucifugus which made him think for a moment.
"Right..." He put his right hand on his chin "Sometimes they are amusing."
Healer then spoke up.
"Then maybe let's read some of them." She started smiling again "Maybe they can give us some insight into what we should fix."
"YAY! LETTERS!" Pen started clapping at this idea
Lucifugus thought about it some more... Ah fuck it...
"Why not." Lucifugus just shrugged with his arms "But be aware Healer. Most of them are not... very insightful."
Lucifugus said as he looked below his desk and pulled out another box, box full of stinking letters.
TBC in Chapter 17
"Stinking Letters"
Okay. That was that. Yeah, I bothered to make up a currency in this world... Why? Don't ask me. I just thought this would make some lick of sense. Next chapter will be a bit more comedic. Hope you all enjoyed this one.