Hey again readers! Before I start the chapter something I forgot to mention in my previous notes for this story. eventually, I plan to go a bit into Scar's backstory, why he is the way he is. when I get to that part it will NOT be in line with The Lion Guard. Don't get me wrong, the show had its moments, but a lot of it was just too ridiculous to take seriously. I mean, magic roars? Snake bites that turn you evil? Mufasa popping out of the clouds every five minutes like it's no big deal? No. I know there are people out there who would disagree with me, and I respect your opinion, just know that those sorts of things will not be in this story (I may make an occasional reference to some of the less silly aspects). For anyone wondering this will also not be in line with The Lion King: Six New Adventures. That's basically just someone else's fanfiction that got published in book form, I'll probably use some character names from those stories to save the trouble of coming up with my own, but that's it.
"We're buggered?" Repeated Simba "That's all the information you have? Always bragging about how smart you are, and now that we really need a clever idea all you can say is we're buggered? Why do you even talk like that? You're from Africa, you've never even been to England!" Simba was clearly losing his cool.
"Calm yourself, nephew!" Scar said. "We're In a bad situation, with no discernable way out, but panicking won't help anything! What's that's asinine saying you picked up while you were away? Something about not worrying?"
"Hakuna Matata, No worries. How do you know about that?"
"Simba you're all anyone's been talking about for months, even in the outlands. It's not every day the rightful heir to the Pride Lands comes back from the dead to vanquish the wicked usurper. Even in hiding, I managed to overhear enough gossip to piece together the story." Scar replied. "As I understand it after giving my hyena associates the slip, you found some remote oasis. There you were adopted by two smelly goofballs who, depending on who you listen to, may or may not be in an interspecies, same-sex partnership. Together you frolicked around avoiding any sort of responsibility and eating bugs. Eventually, Nala happened upon you, there was a brief romantic liaison, followed by a fight over whether or not you'd return to face me. Then Rafiki showed up with his wacky wise man routine, did some hocus pocus with your reflection and your father's ghost in the clouds, then a pearl of wisdom and a whack on the head later you were on your way to take back the kingdom. Is that more or less correct?"
"More or less." Replied Simba, not particularly happy with how Scar had worded certain details.
"Anyway, as inane as that motto is, I'd say it applies here." Scar went on. "For the moment it seems there's nothing we can do get out of this mess, but getting all worked up over won't change that. Cooler heads will prevail. Be like the fools who raised you, don't worry."
Meanwhile back at Pride Rock.
"I'm so worried!" Wailed a certain supposedly carefree warthog, as he and a certain supposedly carefree meerkat wept hysterically.
"Our poor baby, captured by those barbarians!" Sobbed Timon. "He's probably being made into a throw rug as we speak!"
"Why? Why? Why?" Cried Pumbaa.
"Do you two mind? Some of us are trying to come up with a plan to get Simba back, rather than just assuming it's too late! If you're not going to help, at least be quiet!" Nala was having a very bad day. Her mate had been abducted, the entire Pride Lands was in a state of panic, baby Kiara had been crying for her father nonstop, and the last thing she needed was her adoptive in-laws having a meltdown while she was trying to think of a solution.
Nala turned to some more helpful animals she'd gathered to help with the crisis, namely Zazu, Sarabi, and Rafiki. "Someone tell me they have good news to report."
"Afraid not your majesty," Replied Zazu. "We have every available bird searching far and wide for Simba, so far nothing."
"Every lioness that can be spared from the hunting party is out patrolling in case those monsters return, with orders to kill on sight!" Sarabi was also having a bad day. The day before she couldn't have imagined anything worse than the day she'd lost Mufasa and Simba, now she'd lost Simba a second time. Most people would have gone off the deep end, but Sarabi was exceptionally strong, she was only close to going off the deep end.
Nala turned to Rafiki who'd been sitting very quietly in the lotus position with his eyes closed "Rafiki, is there anything you can do? Some magic that would help? Maybe get some advice from the great kings of the past?"
Rafiki gave no response.
"Are you… communicating with the great kings now, or…?" Nala didn't know how to finish that question. It could be very difficult to tell whether the mandrill was doing something mystical, or if he was just being weird.
Still, Rafiki said nothing
"It's hopeless!" Wailed Timon, who despite Nala's scolding had not stopped crying. "We don't even know If Simba's alive or dead, and all we can do is ask a crazy monkey who talks to dead guys!"
This got a response from Rafiki, specifically, it got Timon hit on the head with his stick. "Simba is alive." The mandrill said finally "But how long he will stay that way, and whether he will find a way back to us, even the great kings of the past cannot say."
"At least we know he's not dead, thank goodness." Sarabi sighed in relief. "Still it pains me to think of him, trapped all alone with those horrible humans."
"He is not alone," Rafiki said. "Another is being held prisoner with him."
"But there are no other lions missing." Said Nala.
"Who says they only wanted lions?" Asked Timon, rubbing the bump on his head "Humans take all sorts of animals."
"No one at all from the Pride Lands has been reported missing." Said Zazu "If the humans took another prisoner it must have been from the Outlands."
"The Outlands…" Nala repeated. "It could be a hyena, or worse one of Zira's pride! Rafiki, do the great kings say who is with Simba."
It was another moment before Rafiki answered. "They say better we don't know"
"What? Why?"
"Who knows?" Rafiki shrugged. "Kings of the past often say strange things. Sometimes I think being up there does something to their heads. But, who are we to argue with the great kings?"
"We're two queens, a Mjuzi, and various allies of a king who could be in grave danger!" Nala replied. "I say let's argue!"
"Go ahead, they can hear you," Rafiki told her. "Rafiki is going to his tree, where he can hear himself think. Asante Sana, squash banana…" He chanted as he left.
"Meeting adjourned, I guess. " Nala sighed. "Zazu get back out there and see if you can turn up any new information. Sarabi, one of us should be managing the hunting party, and it looks like I'll have my paws full keeping the kingdom running."
"Yes, your majesty" Replied Zazu.
"Good luck." Said Sarabi.
They both left to resume their duties.
Meanwhile, Timon and Pumbaa were still crying. Soon they were joined by Kiara, as Sarafina, who'd been watching her, carried the crying cub out of the den.
"It's no use," Sarafina said putting Kiara down. "I've tried everything, she just won't stop."
"She wants her father," Nala sighed. "We'll just have to let her cry herself out."
"I'm getting too old for this," said Sarafina.
"We can take care of her for a little while, just like we used to take care of Simbaaaaahaaaahaa." Sobbed Pumbaa.
"Fine," said Nala. "Maybe you can calm her down, just be careful, and don't try to feed her any bugs."
"Come on Princess, let's go for a nice warthog ride." Said Timon lifting Kiara onto Pumbaa's back, and they all left still crying.
"Those two are worse than the baby," Sarafina said as she watched them leave. "How are you holding up?"
"I just realized this kingdom is full of crazy people," Nala replied. "And if things go on like this much longer, I'm going to be one of them."
Back in the cage, Simba had taken Scar's advice to keep calm. He was trying to keep himself occupied until an opportunity to escape presented itself, but the way he'd found to keep occupied was making Scar wish he'd kept his mouth shut.
"It's our problem-free philosophy, Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata! Hakuna matata! Hakuna matata! Hakuna-"
"Does this song have an end?" Scar snapped.
"Not really," Simba replied. "It's one of those songs that just sort of fades out."
"Then 'just sort of fade out' already, you overgrown hairball!" The older lion growled. "I'd almost forgotten how annoying you are."
"Well excuse me for trying to pass the time!" Simba retorted. "I'd almost forgotten how grouchy you are."
"Forgive if I don't seem happy to be trapped in this cage with you, awaiting who knows what horrible fate! But I can promise my mood will greatly improve if you shut up!"
Simba let out a "hmmph!" and moved as far away from Scar as the cage would allow, which is to say he scooted about an inch to the side and turned his head away. Watching the unfamiliar territory go by, knowing he was being carried farther and farther away from his home, he let out a sigh. He looked to the sky and softly whispered "Father, please help me."
Of course, being so close by, and lions having exceptional hearing, Scar was bound to hear Simba no matter how quiet he was. "I very much doubt that a dead oaf will be of much help."
"My father was not an oaf!" Simba was having a very difficult time resisting the urge to strangle his uncle. "And he came once before when I needed him!"
"I've heard the story, remember? Though I have my doubts about that bit. And even if it is true, I doubt this problem can be fixed by a pep talk from some cumulonimbus. Besides I'd say those were special circumstances. Even in legends the kings of the past rarely interfered so directly in the world of the living. Usually, you only hear about little things like a big gust of wind or something, again not particularly helpful here. And even if the "great kings" could do something to help us, Mufasa would not be the one to think of it, after all-"
"I know, I know, you got all the brains, he got all the muscle, blah blah blah." Simba interrupted, having heard Scar say this more than once when he was a cub. "Do you ever get tired of telling people that?"
"Well, it's true!" Scar snapped back. "Whether you want to believe it or not, he wasn't all that bright. Oh, he was very good at coming up with wise-sounding things about the circle of life and whatnot, knew all the old stories by heart, great with all sorts of metaphysical mumbo jumbo. But when it came to practical knowledge, logic, strategy, anything concrete, he was hopeless! He could ramble on for hours about how all the animals were important and we must respect them, but I always had to remind him of the difference between a monkey and an ape so he wouldn't accidentally offend the entire simian population of the Pride Lands. He could babble about grass and make it sound profound, but who had to tell him the flowers he was picking for Sarabi were poisonous and would give him a terrible rash? Me! He could look at the stars and rattle off a story about some dead king for each one, but if the stars were out now, I could use them to determine our approximate location and figure out which way it was to the Pride Lands. Which sounds more useful, hmm? I am smarter than he was, by a lot. He'd even admit it himself, provided no one else was around to hear him admit it."
Simba could barely process that barrage of examples of how his father wasn't that smart, let alone come up with a good comeback, eventually settling on "Well if you're so smart how come you made such a lousy king?"
"Don't you tell me what kind of king I was!" Scar growled. "You weren't there! You were off in the jungle, having snail-eating contests, and otherwise embarrassing our entire species! All you saw was the end result of the worst drought the Pride Lands had ever seen, and a brief glimpse of me having cracked from the pressure of a problem no king could solve! Or could you or my brother have made the rain come sooner? Is there some kingly secret to controlling the whether only those destined to rule were let in on?"
"Well… no," Simba admitted, knowing he was very lucky the rain had come when it did. "But it wasn't just the drought, there were the hyenas."
"Oh please, the effect of allowing the hyenas into the Pride Lands was minimal. I know they were a bit hyper-focused on food, but that's just because they'd been denied it for so long. They really didn't eat any more than anyone else, and a good chunk of their diet was scavenging the leftover bits other predators couldn't or wouldn't eat. The lionesses only blamed them for what happened out of sheer prejudice."
"Oh really?" Simba replied, not believing a word of Scar's story "And why are the lionesses so prejudiced against the hyenas?"
"There's always been tension between lions and hyenas. Two apex predators, living in the same territory, going after the same prey, it's natural that a rivalry developed. But somewhere along the way, the rivalry twisted into a feud, then into a full-fledged cold war. The animosity has gone on for so long there doesn't need to be a reason anymore, lions and hyenas hate each other because lions and hyenas hate each other, and that's enough."
Simba scoffed "Right, a few months ago they were the 'real enemy' and now they're, what? Victims of intolerance?"
"As you informed me a the time, I was lying then. We both know perfectly well I'd have said anything to save myself. I didn't mean a word of it, it was just a cheap distraction so I could get you while your back was turned. Unfortunately, the hyenas didn't realize that. Idiotic ingrates."
"Are you defending them or are you mad at them?" Simba asked. "Pick a side."
"My relationship with the hyenas was complicated, alright?" Scar snapped.
Before the discussion could go any farther, they were interrupted by a bird landing on top of the cage and asking "King Simba, is that you?"
Looks like help has arrived, but will it be enough? Find out next time!