THC
House: Hufflepuff
Class: Transfiguration
Category: Drabble
Prompt: [Character] Sirius
Word Count: 832
Sirius sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, staring intently into the flames. With it being their last year before entering into what McGonagall kept calling 'polite society' – which he called dragon dung on, considering the Pureblood stranglehold on everything to do with the British magical realm – he needed to do something big. He needed to make his mark on this school in a way that would be felt for ages to come!
"You keep staring into the fireplace like that and people are going to think you're hot for it."
Sirius turned his head and looked at his best friend, James Potter, with the same intent stare, not blinking in the least. "I'm trying to figure out how to make the most out of this being our last year here, James. Something to say that we were here and we were the best pranksters that his castle has ever scene!" the wizard declared with a borderline manic expression as he jumped to his feet.
"Ok, first of all you two," Lily looked over the edge of her book with an arched eyebrow "stop it with the puns. We get it James, fire is hot. Don't try to sexualize something that could quite possibly liquidize your flesh if hot enough and make your man parts drip off of your waist."
James unconsciously flinched and dropped a hand to guard his groin. "That-that's cold, Lily-flower" he said with the slightest quiver of his voice.
"No, James, fire is hot the last time I checked. As for you Sirius, are you being serious right now? I mean really, are you trying to trigger the grammar police? I know we are currently in a castle fit for a vacation postcard but that does not make it very punny," Lily continued as she glanced between her boyfriend and friend. "Or even comical in any regard. I've honestly heard better delivery from bad stand-up comedians at open mic nights when I go home for break."
"That's not right Lily, you know the old dog has the attention span of a peanut."
Sirius whined at being compared to a consumable nut and turned his head to glare at Remus lightly. "I have a longer attention span than something that takes four to five months to grow," he said with a pout. "And why are you on Red's side, Moony? You were complaining about the stillness as much as me or James! We need to do something to send the year off with a bang!"
Remus looked to the side while he fiddled with the worn edge of his sweater. He hadn't been complaining about the stillness in the castle as a bad thing, only that the quiet made him a bit antsy. Ever since the guys had discovered his secret and became animagi to keep him company during the full moon, too much quiet made the inner beast nervous. A nervous inner wolf meant an antsy Remus, which was not good for anyone. An antsy Remus was a mother hen times ten, something that made even Lily's saintly patience strain when he constantly offered to help them with homework and to double check said homework after, even though they all knew it was perfect considering two of the smartest people in the castle had helped get it done.
Lily grabbed her wand before a flick of her wrist saw the nearest small object, a rolled up Daily Prophet, be sent flying at Sirius. "Don't make this about Remus, Sirius Orion Black. You want to make trouble for the sake of making trouble. Do I have to remind you why the school has now banned all female social groups?" she asked harshly.
Sirius had the sense to look as proud as he did rightfully shamed. "It wasn't my fault that Ravenclaw is full of a bunch of kinky broa–"
Lily raised her hand threateningly as a fireplace poker floated in the air, the metal red hot. "I dare you to finish that sentence," she hissed with a look of anger. "Or do I have to remind you that I was nearly a Ravenclaw myself?"
James saw Sirius freeze and debate it for a moment before the Black wizard ran to hide in the boys' dormitories. It was probably the safest place for him right now, given that the gender wards wouldn't let any girls up there to seek vengeance on any boy idiot enough to piss them off. "I'm not saying he's wrong for putting it that way, but you have to admit, Ravenclaw is full of quiet, kinky girls. I mean, would you ever think about using a broom like they have?" he asked seriously before ducking, a manly yelp escaping him as he made for the dormitories as Lily began to throw things physically at him.
Remus watched the display before noticing Peter hiding nearby shivering. "She scares me sometimes too Peter, she scares me too," he said with a consoling pat to the boy's head.