Chapter 11 - Packing
July 3rd, 1992 (Friday)
Location: Nigri Sanctuarium
Meissa grumbles to herself as she struggles to make her clothes fit into her bag without using magic.
How the bloody hell does Hermione do it?
As she mutters and curses under her breath, she tosses everything out of her bag to start once more. For the third time. In an hour.
She folds her clothes to the best of her ability, attempting to make them compact. She has seen Remmy do it a few times since she first got the clothes. Each time though, the end result looks like a child of a warthog's backside and the slime from a toad. At most she can figure that she has a long way to go before she can say that she's capable of taking care of herself. In any case her folding could use a lot of work, although it's safe to say that if she used magic it'd be a major step up in comparison.
But no, she's determined to do this, one way or another. Especially without magic.
Once she has folded the clothes to her low, low standards she stats to pack them into the bag. She lines the bottom of the bag with the jeans and cargo shorts. Once she has all her trousers and cargo shorts packed away she turns her attention to the shirts. Since she prefers the style of layering two shirts she has every intention of taking each of the twenty shirts she bought. The long sleeved shirts also serve the purpose of hiding the holster for her wand.
She had considered bringing along Morgen's wand but in the end decided it would be better off to leave it behind. She doesn't fancy explaining to Hermione or Daphne why she has a second wand - since it's frowned upon for any witch or wizard to own an extra wand. She wants to say that the oath would prevent her from removing the wand from Nigri Sanctuarium but ever since she was accepted as the new Lady Black she had not felt the weight of the oath. In the few times she felt like using her magic, she had not felt the weight of the oath reminding her to refrain from using the wand unsupervised. She suspects being accepted as the new Lady nullified the oath - maybe because she's now considered an adult?
She'll have to test this out eventually but for the time being she just needs to pack her clothes. With a determined huff she starts arranging the clothes into the bag, grumbling to herself that it would be so much easier to just enlarge the space within. One part of her is amazed that non-magicals can go through life without magic while the rest is appreciative of the fact she has magic to make life easier.
What does that say about her as a person?
"Meissa," she hears her godfather's voice before the door to her room opened. She looks up from her packing to find that he has another bag for her. "I don't think that one bag will be enough for you," he jests, handing over a bag that is roughly the same size as the one she's using.
"But -," Meissa starts to protest, looking up at her godfather.
"Muggles don't always pack everything in one bag," Severus reminds her, sitting down on the bed next to her. "Sometimes more than one bags are necessary," he comments, getting a pout from the twelve years old girl.
"I thought… well… I thought I could make everything fit with one bag," she mutters grumpily.
"With as many shirts you're bringing you won't be able to limit yourself with only one bag."
"Should I cut back on the clothes?"
"You've found a style that you like," Severus points out, reminding her that it had taken a bit to find something she'd like. Much longer than he personally liked in any case. Meissa takes one look at him and realizes the unspoken part of his comment. 'If you don't take the damn shirts I will find a way to make you repay for the lost time.'
It may not match up with what truly went on in her godfather's head but she reckons it was close enough.
Deciding that it was best to go along with her godfather's wisdom on the matter she takes the second bag and starts packing some of her clothes into it. For the most part, with two bags, everything was able to fit better and she had plenty of room left over for a few items.
"Uncle Sev? What else should I bring?" she asks once her clothes have been packed - some of the more shoddy folds were redone by her godfather in an effort to ensure everything fits.
"Let's see… you have your shirts," Severus starts drily with Meissa chiming in with a 'check', "trousers, shorts." He arches an eyebrow at her before he clears his throat. "Pants?" he asks with only the slightest of hesitation. She makes a herculean effort not to even make a sound remotely similar to mirth as she checks that one off.
"Holster?"
She makes a show of pulling back the sleeve of her shirt to reveal the ever-present holster with her wand. "Check."
"Portkey?"
She taps her chest, exactly where the pendent portkey hung from a simple yet sturdy chain. "Check." She gives her godfather a look. "I meant things for the bags."
"Your wand and emergency portkey are the most important items you need," Severus retorts before he relents and genuinely makes an effort to help her pack. One of the things he made sure she had was her potion regime. She is still at the point where she needs to be taking it twice daily but so far she's on the right track - something he's sure he has Meissa's friends and house-elf to thank for.
Of course, the real challenge will be when she reaches the seventh month. But he has roughly three months before she reaches that point so hopefully he'll find a solution to the problem beforehand. In any case, because of the amount of doses she will need he'll have to visit every week to hand her a fresh batch. It would also give him an opportunity to ensure everything is okay - magic wise.
Aside from the potions - both the regime and her migraine potions - Meissa packed a few trinkets and a book. The trinkets themselves were common wizarding toys but the book had him arching an eyebrow in curiosity. From the brief glimpse he got it seems like it's a book about warding but he's not entirely sure why she'd be interested in something like that.
He wonders if the reason for her interest is because of the visit to Ms. Granger's house. There are not many books that have reliable information about wards and some forms of wards are illegal due to the fact they are based in blood. If he remembers right, at least one of the wards is blood based and most if not all of the Black estates are protected by the same kind. He vaguely recalls Meissa mentioning plans to update the wards.
He hopes that's the reason for her interest.
He'll have to monitor her interests a bit more closely to prevent another incident. He still can't believe that Meissa has dabbled into blood magic. He knows it is only a slippery slope from there. According to the house elves she has been making attempts to use simple spells and getting sporadic results. With her sensitivity to magic he suspects that there will be some time before the last traces of the blood magic - it'd be worth observing this for future reference.
If it wasn't for the fact he feels that he has to prepare for the next time Meissa ventures into dark magic. There is no doubt in his mind that she would dabble into dark magic again if the situation suits her.
"I think I'm situated now," Meissa declares, snapping Severus from his thoughts. A glance into the bags reveals that she has packed the basic hygiene products and - to his surprise - the jewelry box that would normally contain her earrings.
"Do you plan on removing the glamours?" he questions in a light tone, keeping his tone neutral to keep from passing judgment.
"I think it's better to be safe rather than sorry," she confesses, plucking the box out to reveal to him that the old pair is currently nestled within. He cannot fault her this logic and simply nods his head in acceptance.
"Very well then," he stands and moves the bags from her bed as she draws back the blankets. "Sleep well," he mutters, brushing back her hair once she has settled under the covers. With the earrings removed her light brown eyes remind him strongly of Meissa's parents. It's not a sight he sees often anymore - not since Meissa's ninth birthday and Narcissa gifted the glamour earrings to their goddaughter.
'Reinforce the family resemblance' was Narcissa's take on the matter. He thought it would've been better to reduce the family resemblance if the goal was to protect Meissa.
But he had been overruled and Meissa never argued against wearing the earrings. He's still unsure if it was because she wanted to hide the scars from herself and anyone else.
"Good night," Meissa mutters as she snuggles into her pillow.
He takes a brief second to set up an alarm to alert him if Meissa was to suffer from a nightmare before he takes his leave. Instead of returning to his potion labs he decides to retire to his study room, heading straight to one of the bookshelves to retrieve an old photo album from the top.
There have never been a lot of photos he was willing to be in. So the rare few he has were cherished only because it reminds him of better days - of a time when things were not at their worse. Lily Evans was the best thing that has ever happened to him. Losing her friendship was the absolute worst and he knows, looking back to that time, he only has himself to blame.
There used to be a time when he would wish things had played out differently but it only hurts him more to think of that. Living with Meissa has taught him to stop excusing the things he has done. He lost Lily because he allowed himself to be suckered into Lucius' lies of a better world. He lost Lily because, in the end, he chose the purebloods over his muggleborn best friend.
Potter's involvement in the whole situation did not help matters but he knows that ultimately it is his own fault and no one else's.
Looking at the photo album, which contained the few photos he has of Lily, were precious to him. There were some pictures of other people who eventually became important to him for one reason or another. He has a limited few of Bellatrix with Meissa, the five months child smiling broadly at Bellatrix in one of the photos.
He pauses on a page that contains a large photo that he knows is supposed to contain three people within. He can see Bellatrix and the nearly one years old Meissa but it seems that Bellatrix's partner would not be seen tonight. He cannot remember when was the last time he saw the three of them together. He suspects it will be a long while before he sees them together again in the photo. It was a pity because he's fairly sure Meissa would enjoy seeing her parents together.
Severus continues through the album until he arrives at the pages containing photos with Meissa and Draco. There were a small few that had Meissa's babysitters with her. A Third Year Ravenclaw and a Second Year Hufflepuff - if he remembers right - were often the ones volunteering to babysit for his ward when she joined him a month into the year. He's not entirely sure of the names - it has been about six years if not more.
He is somewhat sure that the Hufflepuff is a girl that has given him issue the entire time she was there at Hogwarts. As he watches the three girls in the photo he sees the Hufflepuff girl's features change. In that instant he is reminded of a student who had this particular talent to aggravate the living hell out of him.
Nymphadora Tonks.
Now reminded of his charge's babysitters he can put a name to the Ravenclaw. Kiera Sheridan. He remembers that she has taken on the challenge of becoming an Auror. He recalls that Sheridan is one of the more successful students to have graduated Hogwarts in recent memories - despite her friendship with Tonks. The Ravenclaw had been a near prodigal in his potion classes and he can recall the praises she had received from the other professors as well. He has no doubt that she would do well in her chosen career.
Nymphadora Tonks, on the other hand, well he has no hope for her achieving her goals. Although her dedication and sheer stubbornness is something of note. Still, he'd both impressed and worried for the Wizarding World if the former Hufflepuff manages to become an Auror.