Hello, hello, hello! Just reminding you that Joule is mine, but nothing else belongs to me. So feel free to holler, mutter, whisper, scream, shout, comment, or roar at me about anything, anything at all. The freedom of speech is highly enforced here.

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Nom, nom, nom. That's the sound my mouth was making right now.

I really liked breakfast, no, scratch that, I really adored breakfast. Breakfast, after all, is one of the most important meals of the day. It starts your metabolism, makes you feel better in general, and bombards your senses with delicious, mouthwatering foods, etc. etc.

This is why I was currently stuffing my mouth with pancakes by the dozen.

Okay, so I was only on my third, but I was on my way to a dozen. Maybe.

Now a dozen pancakes just sounds like too much.

Thanks for that.

Okay, and so maybe I had an ulterior motive too, you got me. I was eating to distract myself from the disgusting image of my best friend sucking face with a well-known sleazy Hufflepuff by the name of Patricia Wayne.

Yes, they do exist. Sleazy Hufflepuffs, I mean. They're not all innocent, hard-working puffballs if you know what I mean. I'm thinking some of them should have gone into Slytherin at this rate…

And yeah, her last name was also Wayne, which really had me comparing her to Bruce Wayne and John Wayne, both of which were very manly men. Which she was not.

It was a little awkward.

Anyways, so…Sirius sucking face with Trisha. That's what you could call her if you two were on 'friendly' terms.

Ick.

I didn't have any problem with Sirius dating; I just didn't like the people he chose. And how they acted in public.

It was all so touchy-feely, kiss-kiss, take-me-now attitude which frankly made everyone in the twenty foot vicinity want to barf their heads off. Sirius really needed to work on the concept of subtly.

Seriously. Or dare I say siriusly.

Kill me now, these puns are going to eat me alive.

"Sirius…" I groaned, banging my head against the Gryffindor table in despair. "Could you possibly take your hedonistic tendencies behind closed doors and not scald everyone's eyes for once?"

Remus and Peter nodded with me in agreement, both wincing from the blatant show of exuberant affection at the table. Remus, the poor wolf, was doing his classic hand-over-eyes position, occasionally sipping pumpkin juice to block his view. Peter just kept on a faintly disturbed expression but couldn't look away, like it was a car crash. James and Lily were absent from the table because they had Head duties. Lucky them.

I can only imagine how wonderful that's going…

"I agree." Remus backed me up. "You two might want to remember that there are other people here, eating no less."

"Hold on." Sirius smooched his new flavor of the day a couple more times. He stopped to curl some of the Hufflepuff's hair behind her ear. "Okay, darling, that's it. It was good while it lasted, yeah?"

Trisha looked up at him with lovesick eyes. Her blonde hair was mussed and her lips a very vibrant red, mostly likely caused by excessive lipstick and kissing. "How about we continue this for a few more hours, Siri?"

Sirius flinched at the pet name, and I snorted aloud, knowing his hatred of all nicknames. And 'Siri' just happened to be at the top of that hate list. I'd listened to hours of his whining about the name Siri and how it sounded idiotic and un-masculine; it was one of his biggest pet peeves.

Shooting me a look, Sirius turned back to Trisha. "Nah, you're not that good, sweetheart. Besides, we had a deal, didn't we? We can't break that."

"You could teach me?" Trisha refused to give up and lose the marvelous man called Sirius Black. Now she was just getting desperate, seeing as he was so able and ready to cut her loose.

I shoved some pancakes into my mouth so I wouldn't burst out laughing hysterically. Such were the problems of me.

"Look, Trisha, here's the truth." Sirius started in an ironically serious voice, holding her hands. "I'm not the right bloke for you, and you're not the right girl for me. Now, we can keep doing this thing for however long, but it's not going to change the end result, sweetheart. We're wasting our time here, and I'm trying to help you move forward. There are people out there that need us, and you and I are just delaying that fact. That's the hard truth."

Trisha wiped her tearless eyes, looking stunned. "You're right. Oh my Merlin, you're right, Siri. We have to get to those people."

"That's right." He nodded his head sagely. "And in order to do that, we have to break up."

"Thank you, thank you!" She jumped at him, hugging him with sharp, red nails. "It all makes sense now! I'm going to find my perfect guy, and you're going to find your perfect girl, and we are so going to have a dinner date! Promise?"

"Promise." He grinned, ruffling his dark hair. "Now, go find him, darling."

And with a kiss on his cheek, she was gone, practically rushing over to the Hufflepuff table, her mind gushing with information and determination of true love.

I spat out my pancakes onto my plate. "Are you kidding me? Are you freaking serious? That's how you manage to break up with all of your bimbos? With promises of true love and dinner dates? You're a piece of work."

"Actually," Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "That time was an exception. I meant what I said; I was serious, Joule."

"Yeah," I snickered. "I know what your name is, dimwit. I just can't believe your tactics."

Sirius rolled his eyes at me. "She's the last girlfriend I'm going to have in a while. I had to end it prettily. What would everyone else in the entire school say?" He ended in a childish voice.

"What? Why?" I looked at him weirdly then put my hand to forehead, scraping some of his hair out of the way to feel his temperature. "Merlin, did she give you syphilis? What's wrong with you? Sirius Black does not give up girls, I tell you!"

"Sirius Black isn't giving up girls." Sirius mimicked me, absently pulling a piece of pancake out of my hair. "Sirius Black is taking a break from dating pointless girls he's not interested in."

"Then why were you even dating them in the first place?" I wondered aloud, munching on more pancake. They were absurdly good. Peter snickered from the other side of the table.

Sirius gave me a sly smirk, his eyes glittering. "Do you really need to ask?"

"Oh. Right." I said, mouth still full of pancake. "Boys are stupid. I almost forgot; I must hang out with you guys too often."

"You wound with your stereotypes." Sirius gasped, clutching his chest. He then proceeded to sling an arm around my shoulder and hug me close. "I thought you loved us, Jou-jou. I thought we were family."

"Don't call me that, Siri." I hissed, squirming in his arms. However, he was in one of his stubborn moods and refused to let me go. "You're no brother of mine!"

"Good." He murmured into my hair. "I had no intention of ever being one."

For some reason, this caused that weird feeling my stomach again, and I immediately wanted it to stop. It just felt…odd. Different from usual. Strange.

So I pinched him bruisingly hard. And he let me go, yowling.

The weird feeling went away. Thank Merlin.

"Dammit, Joule!" He rubbed his arm poutingly. "What the hell was that for?"

"You wouldn't let go." I replied coolly. "Duh."

Remus chuckled audibly, and we both turned to see him in full amusement mode. This was a rare feat, seeing as he was either tired to death from being a werewolf or too involved in a book or classwork. "You two are idiots, did you know that?"

"I prefer to call myself a genius." Sirius sniffed haughtily.

I laughed. "And I prefer to call you special."

That one earned me a glare.

"Joule, thank Merlin." Lily huffed up to me in a tizzy, her red hair a little frizzy. "I need a break from the hour I've been patrolling with Potter. I nearly lost it."

"Lost it?" James came up from behind her and joined us at the table, grinning from the time he'd been able to get with his true love. "Lost what, Lily-flower? Your flower? Did you just say that I came this close to popping your cherry?" James looked too excited to be described, too frantic.

Sirius and I had on very disgusted faces. The idea disturbed us both deeply.

"NO!" Lily roared and turned beet red at this notion. "You're such a prat, Potter! To actually think that I could think that, you perverted swine! You're incorrigible! I am two seconds away from hexing your face into a blubbering mass of gillyweed if you don't get out of my sight!"

"Ah, but Lily…" James smiled dreamily. "I'm already under your spell." Lily gagged at this.

"And on that note," Sirius got up from his seat. "I think I'll be leaving."

"I think I'll join you actually." Remus shut his book decisively.

Peter looked excited for the first time tonight. He could handle only so much awkwardness, and I completely understood. "Me too."

"Joule?" Sirius looked down at me expectedly, his gray eyes boring into my own hazel ones.

"Nah." I glanced at Lily who gave me a grateful expression. "I think somebody needs to keep an eye on these two to make sure they don't kill each other yet. I'll catch up later."

"Suit yourself." Sirius shrugged and ruffled my hair with his long fingers, messing up my lovely wavy hair. He chuckled at my petulant expression. "Later, love."

"Jerk." I muttered, stabbing another pancake. I just couldn't get enough.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"So, tell me," Lily said as she painted her nails in her four-poster bed. The first day of class was finally over, and we'd all survived successfully in one piece. "How was your summer? We haven't really gotten time to talk lately."

"It was good." I watched her paint her thumbnail a gold color that shimmered even in the dim lighting. "Spending a month in the Potter household is like a circus every day, especially with Sirius living there now. But it was super fun. How about you?"

"Oh, no, no, no!" She held her nail polish brush up threateningly at me. "I'm not done with you yet, missy. I want details. You spent the summer with two Marauders. Spill."

"Like what?" I gave her a strange look. "Like the color of James's boxers, or did you want to know what brand of toothpaste he uses? It's Colgate, by the way."

I knew this particular fact, because I actually forgot to bring toothpaste. Oops. So, yes, James did in fact use the lovely brand of Colgate to clean his shiny whites. He said the Muggle brands worked the best. I approved.

Lily gave me an unimpressed look. "Very funny, Joule. Like I care what Potter uses; he can go wear garbage for all I care. What did you guys do for the whole month?"

"Um…have a blast? Play lots of pranks? Quidditch? Uh, I introduced them to movies, and we had a couple marathons?"

"Hmm." She said, still painting her nails diligently without any polish going to waste. "Any…romantic developments?"

I blinked. "What?"

What the hell was she talking about?

Sighing, Lily switched to a red polish, just to be as Gryffindor as possible. "You know, like kissing? Snogging?"

"With who?"

"Never mind. Forget I said anything." She glanced away, noting the clock's time. It was about an hour until lights out. "We're going to work on your love life this year, my little Joule."

I laughed. "Look who's talking; no one's asked you out since James became obsessed with you three years ago. You might as well go out with him just to him over it at least."

"At least I've been on a date." Lily countered. "And ew. As if I'd ever think of going out with James. He's just so…immature. Besides, I can get around James. You, on the other hand, need to get around Sirius."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned. What on earth was she talking about? Getting around Sirius? For what?

"He's so overprotective of you, it's insane. He's the reason why other guys won't ever approach you; because you're always with him!" Lily explained. "Just make yourself a little more accessible to everyone else, and you'll have dates lined up like crazy."

I didn't like this line of thought. At all.

"If people have a problem with Sirius being my best friend, they can go suck it." I scowled angrily. If you messed with Sirius, you messed with me. And vice versa. "It's their fault for being cowards in the first place."

Lily sighed and came over to hug me. "I'm sorry." She said into my shoulder, her red hair mixing into my dark brown. "I didn't mean to upset you, I just want you to live a little more. You're stuck with the boys all the time, and you never date. I want you to find someone that makes you happy."

"But I am happy, Lils." I looked at her questioning. "You guys are my family. What more could I want? If anything, I just want you to be happy too."

She smiled. "Thanks. And me too. I'll find my perfect guy as soon as I get Potter off my back."

After much giggling, more nail painting, a brief pillow fight, and a tongue twister war, we were back on track, Lily and I. It was amazing what a girl's night could do. Especially when one hangs out with testosterone-driven boys for the majority of the time.

"Hey, Lily," I whispered. We were both collapsed on my bed in a heap after the final pillow fight. "I think you should give James a chance. He's really not as bad as you make him out to be."

"Why?" She asked, calm from the aftermath. I was partly amazed that she wasn't overreacting at my questions about James and her. It seemed to be a miracle of a night.

"Well, he's a pretty decent guy. I mean, he's friends with me, so that has to mean something, right? I don't choose crappy people to be friends with."

"No, you don't." She bit her lip in agreement.

I had to seize this moment like a prairie dog. It was a one-time opportunity. Like one of those sale ads in the newspaper.

"And he likes you." I continued cautiously. If I wasn't careful, I could get eaten alive.

"Allegedly."

"And you like him." I finished quickly. I thought my argument was quite brilliant. Why would two people that liked each other not be together?

Lily arched an eyebrow at me. "And why would you think that exactly?"

"Lily, please. In fourth year, your diary was practically laying open on your bed, and you had 'Mrs. Potter' scribbled all over the pages in bold ink. And I know your feelings don't change that easily."

Lily gnawed on her lip some more, and she slowly turned red enough to match her hair. "Let's just say in a hypothetical situation that I do. So what?"

"So what?" I turned my head to face her. "If you like someone and if you definitely know they like you back, what are you waiting for? Why the big outbursts in the Great Hall? Why the yelling and the screaming of frustration?"

Lily was silent for a while. "Pride." She finally murmured. "I'm too proud to admit that all those years I was wrong in rejecting James, just to go around and become his girlfriend. It's just complicated."

"Hmmm…" I thought pensively, thinking of way to make all of this work out. A thought niggled in my mind insistently. "How about we make a deal, dearest Lily flower?"

"What type of deal?" She was suspicious of me. It was only natural, of course. I was a very suspicious and shady character. You better…

WATCH OUT!

Ha, I got you, didn't I?

"If you ask out James tomorrow on a date," I started. "I'll find myself a date of my own by the end of the week, proving to you that I can have a competent love life. Capeche?"

Lily looked nervous. "Can I say it was a dare? Just so I'm not out of the blue asking him to go to Hogsmeade with me? I'll still give him a legitimate chance, I promise."

"Yeah, that's fine." I smiled giddily. "James won't care either way. He'll be too ensconced in Lily dreamland to do much else thinking."

"Ew." She stuck her tongue out at me. "That was a little pervy, Joule. I don't want to know what Potter dreams about."

"Get used to the idea." I shot back. "Oh, yeah, and you have to call him 'James' the whole day, missy. None of this 'Potter' deal."

"Fine. But you have to find a date by Friday. Or else, I bail."

"Chicken."

"Wench."

"Harlot."

"Slut."

"Bitch."

"Ooo, jerkette."

"Wow, really? Jerkette, Lily? I thought you were better than that. That's just weak." I snickered at her face.

"Okay, let's shake on it." Lily held out one of her very pale hands, as all gingers have. They tend to roast easily in the sun from what my observations have concluded. Maybe their race is an offshoot of albinism. Or aliens.

I, in turn, held out my own substantially tanner hand, and we shook on it. Literally.

Nothing's more authentic and contractual than an official handshake.

"Oh, man." I face-palmed myself. "We didn't spit. You always need to spit in your hand and then shake on it. I totally forgot."

"I think we can afford to skip that part." Lily said, clearly grossed out. "Where in Merlin's name did you even learn to do that?"

"Sirius." I blinked. "It's how we always make deals."

"Why am I even surprised?"