Hi everyone, thanks so much for the support in returning to this story! As usual, Joule belongs to me. Nothing else. Feel free to scream, shout, whisper, holler, comment, mutter, or just say something! The freedom of speech is highly enforced here.

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Really, it was the smells that woke me up. The mandrake root, the poppy seeds, the lavender stuffed flobberworm, the bat wings, the dragon tongue – it was like I was in the Potions storeroom cupboard trying to find my needed ingredients and escape before the scents all overwhelmed me, much less I get locked inside.

Opening my eyes, I soon discovered I was laying within crisp white sheets in an uncomfortable metal frame bed, surrounded by a privacy curtain all around. Oh yes, I was in the Hospital Wing, not unfamiliar to me. The last time I'd stayed overnight had been two years ago when James had tested out a bat boogey hex a little too strongly in the Room of Requirement, and it had ricocheted off a mirror into my face. Needless to say, I had looked like the demented spawn of a troll and a goblin for at least a few days, but the initial disfigurement had hurt the worst.

Speaking of which… I tilted my head to glance to the left, hearing a chorus of snores. James, Lily, and Peter sat together on a small bench with the latter two leaning their heads on either side of Prongs' shoulders in a cozy pile. James' ruffled black head was nestled on top of Lily's crimson, his glasses tucked in her front shirt pocket. Wormtail slouched against him on the other side, a slight string of drool whistling through his teeth.

I almost smiled at them, but the back of my neck prickled with a knowing awareness that I was being watched. Slowly, I turned my left to the right and there sat Sirius, hunched forward in a rickety chair of his own.

Unlike the others, his gray eyes were boring into my own with a seriousness that I had only seen but a few times before. Dark hair mussed, he looked a mess with circles under his eyes and a uniform that looked like he'd worn it for days, his red and gold tie fully undone. Staring back, I refused to break eye contact, and the air almost seemed to shimmer between the two of us.

The silence didn't feel unnerving, but it made the blood rush in my ears. I swore that I could smell the new grass that he'd trod on, the musty dirt in his hair from the tunnel, and even his own particular scent that had its familiar woodsy musk. My eyes caught a hitch in his breathing, and the flutters started to show their appearance once more.

"Hi." I whispered, finally breaking the silence. His lips twitched a bit at that, and I noticed he had a little stubble growing in around his chin and cheeks.

"Hi, Jou Jou." He whispered just as softly back. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Ah, you know…just making the rounds." I stretched to bring myself into a sitting position, and a jolt of pain jumped through my shoulder, causing me to wince. The shoulder, in fact. I hadn't looked at it yet. I didn't really want to – but it was there, reminding me that it had happened, that that night had happened.

Sirius all but rushed over to me, ushering me upright with his aristocratic piano hands. "Careful, love – don't want to rush it."

"I'm fine – I can do it." I said sharply, a burst of annoyance coming over me as I avoided his touch. Settling into my upright position, I caught him flinching out of the corner of my eye back into his original seat. A wave of regret washed through me, and suddenly I felt like I was spiraling down an emotional rollercoaster. Tiny bolts of pain nudged me, urging me to just take one tiny peek at my shoulder, just one, just one little look, a glance even.

Biting my lip, I brushed my hair over my shoulder and lightly pulled down the baggy white hospital gown they'd dressed me in my unconscious state. And there it was – the bite. An angry red scar circled over the top of my shoulder, dipping over into the other side onto my back. Amazingly (thanks to magic and Madame Pomfrey's medicinal secrets), it was fully healed over. Taking a finger, I touched it to find it smooth and supple. Like a border of a country on a map – you could see it so clearly, but you'd never be able to feel the crossing from one nation to the next.

Another wave rushed over me as I fully understood that I had survived the attack, but there was still much more to come.

"Mixture of powdered silver and dittany." Sirius whispered, back to our original tones as he watched me trace its jagged line across my collarbone. "Madame Pomfrey was quite prepared given the circumstances, surprising really. Honestly, she probably had it already made, thinking it might be James or I one day. Quite quick on the uptick, that one."

My stomach rolled as I remembered a lesson on werewolf bites in our fifth year Defense Against the Darks Arts class. The mixture of powdered silver and dittany had been formulated to stop the victims of a werewolf bite from bleeding to death.

Charming, really.

"I suppose she gets to keep her day job." I whispered back weakly, shrugging my sleeve back up to conceal the mark. "Where's Remus? Is he okay?"

Sirius hesitated, a fraction of a second. His eyes flickered away from mine. "He's…fine."

"Tell me." I said, narrowing my eyes. "Don't lie."

"There's not much to say." He tossed out, fiddling with his tie. "He crawled out of the tunnel a couple days ago after the full moon, and went straight to Dumbledore, or so I hear. None of us have seen him since."

"You have the map." I raised an eyebrow, knowing. "You put it in my pocket before, and I know you've taken it back now. Where is he?"

"He doesn't want to be found." He shrugged, looking awfully blasé for the conversation we were having. Already, I was getting frustrated; something in me was positively itching for a fight. "He'll turn up eventually, he always does."

"You're really not going to tell me, aren't you?"

"I'm really not." He said, picking at his fingernails. "Maybe you should focus more on healing and less about the location of a certain Mr. Furry."

"Maybe," I hissed, "you should accept that this is as healed as I ever will be, and that next month I'll be the new Ms. Furry."

His jaw twitched sharply, but he hid it well. "Don't be daft, I've always thought of you as a Ms. Fuzzy."

"Is this all just one big joke to you?" I angry whispered, utterly infuriated. "Because to be honest, I have half the mind to come over and bite you, so you can join the club."

"And maybe you should." He sighed deeply, then came back over to kneel beside the bed. Picking up my nearest hand with care, Sirius interlaced our fingers together and looked at them resting on the sheets. His hand was a shade tanner than mine, and engulfed me with his long fingers. "I'm sorry, love. I nearly lost you, and I couldn't do a bloody thing about it, and I'm being an ass. There…were a few moments when you stopped breathing, and I about lost my mind. Pomfrey managed to bring you back every time, but…"

He trailed off, pensive, then glanced back up at me with a somber expression. "Joule, if you don't want to go through this alone, I'll do it in a heartbeat. You could bite me now, or later, but I'd do it for you. We could do it together, figure it out, chase rabbits, do wolfy things, the whole lot. Both of us."

I stopped breathing for a second and just stared at him, my previous anger completely deflated. He was offering to become a werewolf, just so I wouldn't go through it alone? My mind whirled, and I glanced down at our intertwined hands, feeling his warmth.

For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine it – both of us suffering through the moon sickness in the days before the full moon full formed, leaning on each other for support.

Trading inside jokes between us, while Remus rolled his eyes to give us actual tips.

Both of us going through the transformation next full moon, coached by Remus, our bones cracking into new positions and our skin becoming coated with fur.

Sirius and I waking disoriented the next morning, bruised and battered and unclothed, waking up in each other's arms. Grinning at each other, at our success.

I blinked, shaking the vision away – it was ridiculous. And yet, some part of me yearned to say yes, so we could go through this together, as though it would draw us closer and not farther apart, like a secret club that only we were a part of. No one else would understand what we'd be going through, but we would and only us alone.

It wasn't ridiculous, I resolved.

It was selfish. Sirius had already suffered enough in his life, and Merlin knew that I could never add the burden of making him a werewolf on top of that, along with its stipulations. He didn't deserve the pain or the illness or the limitations – he needed his freedom. And I could never take that away from him. Especially after what Regulus had told me just the other day.

"Don't be daft." I mimicked his earlier tone, squeezing his hand tight for a heartbeat. "This castle can't handle three wolves in it. Besides, Remus and I will need you to keep us in line."

It felt odd to me, saying that. Remus and I in a grouping, sharing such a unique condition. Sirius and I had always been the closest confidants to each other in the group – even James and Lily didn't know as intimate of details that we'd told one another over the years.

From the way Sirius' eyes darkened, I felt like his thoughts might be going down a similar path.

"If you insist, m'lady." He lifted our clasped hands and kissed the back of mine lightly, lingering on it for longer than usual. I blinked in response at the gesture, my face getting red. It hadn't felt playful like all the other times before, but rather like a promise. The flutters started again, and a wave of nervous energy came over me, mixed with something else wanting to claw its way out.

I snatched my hand out of his grasp, out from his lips. Sirius gave me a knowing look, and merely raised a dark eyebrow in response. I was saved from having to respond by Lily rousing from her slumber, rubbing her eyes as she pulled away from James' shoulder and gently adjusted his head to lean on Peter's instead.

"Joule?" She said blearily, her red hair in a messy disarray that she smoothed away. "Oh Merlin, you're awake. How are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Lils. Just a little sore." I smiled, then froze internally, wondering what story the Marauders had told her. My eyes flickered briefly to Sirius beside me, and he gave me a slight nod.

"Yes, I know everything now." Lily said a touch sour, recapturing my attention. "It's a bit harder to disguise a werewolf bite, than just symptoms of an oncoming change. Although, might I add, it would've been quite easier to tell me right from the start. Heavens knows I'd never judge Remus for something he had absolutely no choice in the matter."

"I'm sorry." I said, frowning as I reached out a hand to her. "We thought we were protecting you. But it was also Remus's secret to tell, and he's well…just very reserved about the whole thing, rightfully so."

She accepted my hand and tightly squeezed it. "I know. I only wish I'd known earlier so I could start researching more into it and create some sort of a potion or mixture to help. Perhaps if not a cure, then maybe something to lessen the symptoms so it wouldn't be as painful or…dangerous." Her eyes darted down to my shoulder, hidden under my gown. ''How did it happen exactly? Or rather, what went wrong…this time?"

"Snape was there." Lily's lips tightened at that fact, like I'd assumed they would on the topic. "I followed him down from the castle, and he went straight to the tunnel, like he'd known about it. He was going to expose Remus to the school – he said he'd known that we'd be up to something for a while, and I thought I'd convinced him to go back to the castle so I could explain but by then, Moony caught us. And well…you can assume what happened after that."

"Idiotic, stupid boy." Lily growled. "But how did he know where to go in the first place? Did he follow you last month?"

I stayed silent, replaying the Slytherin's words in my head. You know when Black told me about this tunnel, I thought he was joking…

"Funny, I've been wondering the same question myself." James said, straightening up from his slumber, looking very much awake and alert as he wrapped an arm around Lily's waist tightly. Suspicious, I wondered how long he'd been listening in on our conversation. It wouldn't be the first time that he'd feigned being asleep.

Peter though – who was still snoring now with an ever-increasing volume against James' side – was definitely not faking it. That much I knew.

Sirius stiffened at my side, as he sank back into his chair. "It was me. I told him."

My eyes swiveled to his, but he was staring straight at James with a haggard look on his face. Clearly, he regretted his action, but I couldn't for the life of me understand why he'd put Remus and the rest of us at risk.

"What." James said curtly, and you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. "And why exactly would you do that?"

"During our duel yesterday, we exchanged some words." Sirius said. "He accused Remus of being a werewolf, saying he had evidence to prove it to the entire school and threatened to ruin him and the rest of us. He had some other choice words, but –"

"What other words?" James snapped out, and I'd never seen him this upset in my life. Prongs was typically one of the more even-keeled members of the group. Releasing my hand, Lily stroked his arm soothingly.

Sirius continued, deadpan. "He was saying that after the news was out, he'd be happy to see his Death Eater friends run into my muggleborn and my monster to see them treated like the filth they are. And if we were lucky, maybe us blood traitors could watch."

Lily hissed. "He said that? Those exactwords?"

Seeing him nod in response, she swore colorfully. James' jaw was clenched, his gaze still locked on Sirius.

"Guess I'm a muggleborn monster now." I said idly. "Sounds like a double threat."

Sirius shot me a brief look. "After that, I lost my temper. I told him that sure, if he'd like to see the whole full moon show, he could press the knot on the Whomping Willow and get all the evidence he needs and more. I didn't think he'd actually come. Or if he did, I thought he'd be scared by the noises and turn back. I didn't think…"

"That's right." James said. "You didn't think. You exposed us to Snape of all people, and Joule was bitten as a result of it."

"Do you think I don't know that?" Sirius said. "Do you think I don't regret those words every single bloody second? Because I do, if that's what you're wanting to hear."

"I want you to realize that this happened because of you." James' face was pure stone as he raised his voice. "But I also want you to realize that this could have been a million times worse. If Snape had been bitten instead…Merlin forbid if both of them had been bitten, we would be done. There would've been no hiding it, no convincing him to conceal that truth. As it is, I don't know how Dumbledore's convinced him to be silent about what he knows, but we are this close to full exposure."

"I know." Sirius said, his voice breaking.

"Do you?" James rose from his seat, walking around my bed. He grabbed Sirius' shirt, and yanked him up, slamming him against the back wall. The slam echoed around the empty Hospital Wing, but it seemed inevitable that Madame Pomfrey would sense the disturbance from her room just off in the closest side wing. Without his shoulder to lean on, Peter fell over on the bench and kept on snoring. Persistent little bugger.

"James, stop!" Lily cried. I struggled to stand, cursing the sheets that entangled my legs.

"Joule is going to become a werewolf at the next full moon because of you, and there's nothing that we can do." James growled out. "She'll never live a normal life again. She will suffer and transform until the end of her days. She will be discriminated against, and she will hated. Her life will be harder, and more difficult than it should've been, and it's all because of you."

Sirius' eyes were blank with despair, and he didn't try to fight back. I knew he knew all of that. We all did.

"James, that's enough." I finally stood and walked over to the pair, pushing Prongs away lightly. "It was Snape's choice to act on the information; he put himself at risk. Sirius made a dumb decision, but it's not his fault. I followed Snape down into that tunnel, and I knew it was a possibility. But let's not act like this is the end of the world – are you really going to say no to one more werewolf friend?"

"Of course not." James muttered, his anger leaving him abruptly. "It's just not what should have—"

I silenced him with a finger. "Shhh…just think of the bright side – I don't technically need to complete my Animagus training now."

Sirius huffed a small, exasperated chuckle, rubbing his face. "Oh, Merlin."

"What?" I asked, grateful that the tension had been lifted for a moment.

"Just think about it."

I thought about it.

"Does this mean if I complete my training that I could potentially be a werewolf and have a wolf as my Animagus form?" I asked pensively.

All three of my friends groaned in unison, and Peter's snores seemed to agree with the sentiment.