May 1964
By the time the ferry left the pier the sun was high enough to cast a luminous glow on the roofs and taller buildings. The church spires that rose high in to the sky sparkled in the golden light as did the tops of the mountains that formed a backdrop to the town of Dun Laoghaire. Yet despite the brightness of the sun the light wind skimming across the cold water of the Irish Sea filled the air with a deep chill making Tom glad he'd worn his overcoat. He had always loved this view and had seen it in so many different lights from early morning sunrise like now to the darkness of midnight when the stars or moonlight illuminated the town.
"Mum snagged us a table in the restaurant." The voice of his daughter Valerie was barely audible over the loud and harsh squawks of the seagulls that soared and dipped above the ship. "Isn't it a bit chilly to still be out here?"
"Aye" he responded but made no movement to leave the railing, instead concentrating on the view of the Irish coast. "I've always enjoyed this view.
Valerie joined her father in looking intently at the port town. "It does look lovely in the early morning light. I love the way the church spires seemed to glow and the mixture of light and dark with the mountains and sky and how it's constantly changing with the rapid rise of the sun."
Tom grinned as she began taking photographs. He never thought when he gave her that little Kodak Brownie camera for her twelfth birthday she'd one day be a professional photographer. After five years honing her craft as a staff photograph for The Irish Independent newspaper she had ventured out as a freelance photographer
As the ferry made its way out of the harbor and in to the Irish Sea, the seagulls found more enticing prospects as some of the fishing boats headed back to the harbor with their catches. Valerie buttoned her coat to ward off the early morning chill. "So do you remember the first time you took this trip?"
Tom leaned against the railing now facing the sun. Closing his eyes, he lifted his head and felt the warmth of the sunshine on his face while he thought back to that night so long ago when he barely more than a lad. "Of course I do for it was the first time I left Ireland. There was this excitement of a new job that offered so much more than I'd had yet I also was conflicted about leaving Ireland and everyone that I knew."
"It was a night crossing and the sky and the sea were so black it was hard to see where the sky ended and the sea began" he continued. "I walked around the deck until I found a sheltered spot to sit and there the blackness of the sea and the starless sky was broken by a full moon which seemed so huge and close as if I could stretch out my hand and touch it. I don't think I've ever seen a prettier moon. I can still see the way it bathed swaths of the sea in this luminous glow."
"That sounds so lovely." Valerie leaned her head against her father's shoulder.
Tom nodded his head. "In all my travels I still think that moon was the most breath taking sight."
"I think I was about six or seven the first time I remember taking this voyage" Valerie said. "It was all so exciting … the ship seemed so huge and I remember we kids running around the deck chasing the seagulls and later realizing the ship was in this great mass of water with no land in sight it seemed a bit scary but somehow wonderful."
Tom looked at his daughter and smiled. "I seem to recall you were greatly disappointed that we wouldn't see any whales."
"I was wasn't I" she laughed.
"But you got over it when I bought ice cream cones."
"Always the way to please a child Dad."
"Aye." He noticed Valerie shuffling her feet but he wasn't sure if she was tired of standing or trying to keep warm. "Maybe we should go in your mother is probably wondering what's happened to us."
Valerie put her arm around her father's as they began walking. "I wonder if they still sell ice cream cones."
"Valerie it's not even eight o'clock in the morning."
"So is there some law we can't have ice cream for breakfast" she teasingly responded.
The sun was still high in the late afternoon sky as they neared Downton. Tom rolled the passenger door window down a bit to let in the warm air that had a faint sweetness from the blooming bushes that draped over the stone fences lining the winding narrow roadway, their flowers providing a riot of color with various tones of blues and pinks and purples seeming so bright against grayness of the stone fences. Once these roads had been so familiar to him as he drove the family to visit friends at nearby estates or shopping in Ripon or Thirsk but now he had to constantly check his maps to ensure they took the correct turns.
He glanced across to Valerie who had insisted on driving, telling him he was needed as the navigator but Tom had a nagging feeling that even though they had spent an hour or two at Maeve's house reviving themselves with food she thought he was too tired from the long hours on the ferry to drive. Without taking her eyes off the road she said "How much longer?"
"I think we'll be in the village in just about five minutes" Tom replied.
Tom only missed it by a minute or two as they drove into Downton Village and he directed her to Billy's house which Tom still thought of as Crawley House. Valerie had barely turned the motor off when the front door of the tall stone house opened and out poured Billy quickly followed by two of his younger children.
As Tom looked at his nephew he thought all vestiges of youth had disappeared for the light brown hair had it first strands of gray and the crow's feet had deepened around his dark blue eyes but as Billy grinned his eyes twinkled and Tom saw the scamp that had been young Billy.
"Come in … come in" Billy bellowed as he stooped to kiss Aiobhinn before kissing the cheek of his much younger cousin Valerie "ah ye must be breakin a lot of hearts lass."
"Better theirs than mine" Valerie quipped causing Billy to laugh.
"Moya's just taking out some barmbrack from the oven" Billy announced "and the kettle's on." Ushering them into the house he continued. "We're expected up at the castle for dinner." Noticing Tom's raised brow Billy chuckled. "If I say Abbey I expect to see men in long brown robes wearing sandals so I like to call it the castle." Then winking he continued "and one might say that Lady Mary is rather Queenly."
After a satisfying tea with Billy and Moya, the Bransons left for the Abbey where they were greeted at the door by the latest butler, Holland. A tall, light haired man of undetermined age Holland's military bearing was countered by his warm smile.
"The Brigadier and Lady Mary are waiting for you in their sitting room" he said amiably as he led the trio across the grand salon towards the back of the house and into a short hallway then through an open doorway into a large room with all the elegance Tom associated with the public rooms of Downton but little of the stiffness and formality of those rooms.
The greetings were warm and effusive as they often are when old friends see each other again. "Welcome. It's great to see you again" Ashley said as he shook Tom's hand and Tom warmly slapped Ashley's shoulder while Mary hugged Aoibhinn and then Valerie.
After hugging Tom, Mary took a step back, still holding his hands and looking intently at him. She was glad to see that the sorrow and grief that had so encompassed him the last time they had met had faded but it was obvious the death of his youngest son Aidan had taken its toll for his face had lost all vestiges of the youthfulness that Tom had carried well into his older years. The crow's feet and laugh lines had deepened, the hair was definitely grayer and although his lovely blue eyes were still bright and the smile he offered was broad Mary thought it wouldn't take much to surface the grief.
Just as Mary studied him Tom was doing so to her. She had aged well he thought with far less wrinkles than one would expect at her age although he suspected the still dark hair was from a bottle.
"I don't recall this room" Tom said as he looked around the surprisingly light and airy room with soft tangerine colored walls above white wainscoting, a thick fawn colored rug covering much of the dark wood floor, and sunlight streaming through two large French doors that beckoned one to a patio beyond filled with pots of brightly colored plants. The various wood tables scattered about the room were antique and well-polished while the sofas and chairs were deeply cushioned in patterns and shades of oranges, yellows and greens.
"Well when you lived here these were several different rooms with only one, the smoking room, possibly being familiar to you." Mary then explained that those rooms had been reconfigured into a sitting room with two adjoining bedrooms and baths to accommodate Cora and Isobel as they had aged and walking up stairs to the family bedrooms had become unwieldy. Tom had inwardly chuckled as Mary emphasized that while she and Ashley were completely capable of managing the staircase moving to these rooms had given them a bit of privacy. "Please make yourselves comfortable." Mary gestured toward the sofas while Ashley asked if anyone wanted a drink but having just had tea at Billy's the Bransons declined.
"This is quite lovely" Aoibhinn said as she sat down "especially with the view out towards the patio."
Mary nodded. "That of course is Ashley's doing. It's quiet here, away from the main rooms of the house. We've found it nice to have our own private area especially now with so many children in the house" Mary continued.
"Ah I recall you writing that some of Ashley's grandchildren had moved in" Tom said.
"You might remember them" Ashley began. "They're my son's who we visited in Hong Kong."
"He had those three charming little girls" Aoibhinn said.
Ashley nodded his head. "They're not quite so little anymore, Corrine's fourteen, Virginia is eleven and Margaret's nine but they are still quite charming."
Tom and Aoibhinn both laughed and Aoibhinn said "spoken like a doting grandfather."
"My son's been transferred to some God forsaken place and rather than sending the girls to boarding school we offered to have them to come here."
"So with George's four and now the girls along with two nannies the house is quite full" Mary added. "Of course there's still plenty of room for guests. Aoibhinn I've put you and Tom in the second bedroom down here with us while Valerie you'll be upstairs in the room you stayed in when you were here photographing the grounds and gardens."
"What wonderful work you did Valerie." Ashley nodded to a large framed photograph of a dark green leafed bush lush with yellow peonies hanging above a walnut credenza. "I love that photograph so much I had it enlarged and framed. I really admire your work Valerie."
Valerie actually blushed while proud father Tom beamed. "I'm flattered Brigadier."
"Actually Valerie I think you'll find he's had a few of your photographs enlarged and framed and scattered about the house" Mary added.
After a half hour or so of catching up Mary enquired if her guests would like to go to their rooms to freshen up before dinner. "You'll be happy to know Tom that we don't dress formally for dinner anymore, at least not when it's just family and we do consider you family."
"We still gather in the drawing room before dinner just to make sure we all enter the dining room at one time when dinner is ready." Mary looked at Tom and smiled "it might surprise you that the children usually dine with us although tonight I thought it would be better to exclude them but they'll be in the drawing room just so you can meet them."
"It will be lovely seeing the girls again" Aoibhinn said "and to meet George and Dina's children."
Despite the grandiose setting, the scene of stiff and formal dinners that had been some of the worst evenings of Tom's life, dinner that evening was a welcomed surprise for it was a relaxed laughter filled affair as these things so often are when old friends and family gather together. Tom relished it even though quite a bit of the laughter had come at his expense as Ashley, Mary, and even Aoibhinn regaled the others with tales from their travels abroad together and Tom's seemingly endless ability to create mishaps and misadventures. Even as he tried to defend himself, I didn't intend to sit backwards on the camel, I got distracted and then he just took off before I was ready; as a dutiful husband I was just following my wife, I didn't realize she was going to the ladies room; I thought that punch was just those exotic fruit juices not rum laced; the laughter only became more boisterous.
Instead of moving on to the drawing room after dessert for sherry or brandy, another change Tom quietly observed, the group instead lingered around the dining table. It was late in the evening when the dinner party ended with Billy and Moya leaving for Crawley House and George and Dina along with Valerie heading upstairs while the two older couples walked across the grand salon to Mary and Ashley's sitting room.
"Every evening right after dinner George and Dina gather upstairs with their children and usually the girls too in what had been Mama's sitting room and watch television. Really Tom now with television you'd think no one likes to sit around and talk anymore" Mary exclaimed.
"Oh I think there was quite a bit of sitting around and talking at the dining room table tonight" Tom teasingly responded much to Aoibhinn and Ashley's amusement while Mary raised her brow and sighed deeply in feigned exasperation. "And it didn't escape my attention that when the conversation turned to someone in this room sitting on a stack of pillows under the only available umbrella sipping an iced cold drink being fanned by two young men as if she were Queen of the Nile that suddenly it was time for everyone to retire."
"Is it my fault my skin is so delicate and it was so blasted hot." Mary shook her head "and all those bugs-"
Tom started laughing. "Oh I'd almost forgotten about that silly hat of yours with the-"
"Well that silly hat did its job. As I recall you spent all evening slapping your face the next morning you looked as if you'd been in a fight."
"She does have a point there Tom" Aoibhinn joined in the conversation.
Tom lifted arms into the air as he looked up at the ceiling. "My wife … even my wife-"
"As much as I'm enjoying this conversation" Aoibhinn grinned at her husband "it's been a very long day and Valerie and I want to get a fairly early start tomorrow so I'm ready to turn in."
"Of course" Ashley rose from his chair and walked towards her. "It should be good weather tomorrow so you'll have a pleasant drive to Woodthrope. County Durham is lovely. I can't imagine the Marquis not hiring Valerie for whatever photography he wants done. She really is an excellent photographer. Why" he reached for a copy of National Geographic sitting on the end stand "these photographs she did on Morocco are stunning and of course the work she did for us-"
"Ash" Mary interrupted her husband. "Aoibhinn said she's ready to retire."
He reached for Aoibhinn's hand. "It's been lovely having you here. I'm so glad you and Tom decided to stay here with us. You and Valerie will have breakfast before you leave in the morning?"
"Certainly" Aoibhinn nodded.
"So we'll see you then" he replied.
"I'm pretty beat myself so I'll come with you love." Tom walked across the room towards his wife. "And for the record Mary I note there is a television in here" Tom said as he nodded towards the large floor model television taking up one corner of the room. "So maybe after dinner tomorrow you, Ashley and I could watch a program or two."
"Sorry I wasn't down to see Aunt Aoibhinn and Valerie off but it's always a bit hectic at breakfast time on school days" George said to Tom as the two men walked out of the dining room. "Invariably someone can't find a book or their homework or one spills something on their tie or blouse."
"Reminds me of when my children were young" Tom commented. "I sometimes miss those days. Enjoy it George because they grow up so fast and they'll be gone before" he seemed to falter "you know it."
George looked over at Tom who suddenly seemed focused on the sky and he wondered if Tom was thinking about Aidan and he started to say something about Aidan but didn't really know what to say. He hadn't really known him, there had been too much of an age gap between them, but he had gone to Ireland for the funeral with his mother and Ashley.
"So this is what you're using around the estate now?" Tom looked at a blue pickup truck with a few dings and scratches parked on the gravel drive in front of the house.
"Well the roads around the estate probably aren't much better than they were when you were the chauffeur so it doesn't pay to have a nice car. Ashley and Dina use one of those golf cars to get around the gardens and Billy's using one so I've been thinking of getting one for me to use."
The sat in the pickup with George in the driver's seat, although he put the key in the ignition he hesitated starting it. Glancing over at Tom he finally spoke. "Last night was fun wasn't it?"
"I don't remember ever hearing so much laughter in that dining room" Tom replied.
"I hope you didn't mind about Billy and me bringing up that camping trip in the Wicklow Mountains. Guess we just got carried away listening to all those other travel stories."
"George I've had some truly awful times in that room and believe me last night wasn't one of them. In fact I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard even if I was the target of most of the jokes."
"You did get in a couple of good stories about Mama."
George moved as if he was ready to start the motor but then leaned back against the seat. "I often think back to that trip to Ireland, how much fun it was, not just the camping trip with Billy but everything about it. Eating dinner sitting around your kitchen table, playing games in the back yard, you giving me and Billy and Sybbie a few coins to go by ourselves to buy ice cream cones or candy or to walk along the pier, sitting around a campfire in your back field telling stories. It opened my eyes to a whole different type of family life. Even Mama was a bit different after that trip."
He looked at Tom. "I only know bits and pieces of your relationship with the Crawleys and that it's a rather complicated one but I'm so thankful that you and Mama became good friends."
Mary stopped first at Crawley House expecting to find Tom there but Moya said he was still at the cemetery. She walked the few yards to the church yard and was surprised to not find him at Sybil's grave. It took a few moments for her to finally spot him sitting over on the wooden bench in front of the stone wall that bordered the church yard. As she approached him he looked up at her with a lingering sadness in his eyes. Neither spoke and quietly she sat down beside him, staring straight ahead, her back erect as always and her hands in her lap.
In leafy shade provided by the overhanging branches of an old oak tree that grew on the village side of the stone wall, she sat there for a few moments listening to the sound of village life just on the other side of the stone fence. The passing of a lorry, the muffled sounds of a conversation of passing pedestrians, the faint ringing of a bell. She wondered if being here reminded him of his recent loss, it had been almost a year and a half now but she imagined the pain of losing a child never truly healed. So when he finally spoke it wasn't at all what she might have expected.
"Do you remember that first year we met here?" he finally spoke.
"I do actually. I remember-" she stopped. I remember the awkwardness. I remember the raw grief still so plainly on your face. I remember my joy at seeing Sybbie and the pain thinking I'd never see her again. I remember your hurt and … but she wouldn't say aloud any of that. "The funny thing is I don't know why I came here that particular morning for it wasn't like me to come here at all. I hated the thought of Sybil being here, it wasn't right."
She turned her head towards him. "Rather hard to imagine that our friendship grew from meeting here" she said softly.
"Even with our shared grief it's rather surprising that we ever become friends. We certainly weren't friends when I was the chauffeur and when I married Sybil I'd say it was more like you tolerated me."
"I was awful then wasn't I, not just to you but to most everyone around me except for Sybil and Anna." She gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "So many times Sybil would say to me 'you don't really mean that Mary'. She always thought I was a much better person than I was."
She looked towards Matthew's headstone. "I was even beastly to Matthew for so long, I resented him, thought he was taking what should have been mine."
"Time has a way of changing us Mary for our experiences … good and bad … can make us see things differently. I'd say you aren't the same person you were back then." He looked at her and smiled. "And I'd say Sybil would be glad to see the person you are now Mary."
She looked past Matthew's grave to her parents' and Granny's and Isobel's. Only Rosamund and Edith weren't here with Rosamund buried in London beside Marmaduke and Edith in Bertie's family plot. "We're the only ones left now" she said "the only ones that remember Sybil or Matthew."
"What wonderful memories we have of them." He reached out and patted her hands. "How lucky we were to have known them and loved them."
As they walked out of the cemetery Tom paused. "Will you give me a minute?"
She nodded. "The car is parked on the village green. I'll wait for you there."
At the gate she stopped and turned around to look at Tom. As she watched him standing in front of Sybil's grave, his hand gently fingering the etched Sybil, she wondered what he was saying.
It was probably ten minutes or so before he appeared, walking with a slow heavy gait he stopped at the wide wooden gate. He turned and looked across the graveyard towards Sybil's grave. If Mary had been closer she would have seen how he sighed deeply then with a nod of his head he smiled before turning and walking out through the gate.
After driving a half hour or so around the estate Mary finally stopped the car. Somehow it seemed natural that they ended up in this spot, Mary's favorite place on the estate, the red brick arched folly called Heaven's Gate. Tom would admit it was a stunning view over much of the estate and standing under the tallest of the three arches they had a clear view of the Abbey over a mile away, the honey colored stone gleaming in the sunshine.
"When Sybil was maybe five or six she overheard me talking about riding up here to Heaven's Gate." Mary began laughing "she got so excited thinking we had a gate to Heaven. Eventually Papa had to bring her up here so she could see for herself that it didn't really lead to Heaven." Her story made Tom laugh too.
"Back then I'm come here to survey what I thought would one day be mine" she gestured to the view in front of them. "I didn't appreciate it for the beauty of it. Now when I come here I look at this marvelous view and I see the gently rolling hills that come alive in spring with fresh greenery or the way the lake sparkles in the summer sun or the magnificent golds and reds of the leaves in autumn. After all our travels and the places I've seen this spot is my heaven."
He nodded his head. "I know what you mean. My heaven on earth is sitting on that bench in my side yard and looking out to the Irish Sea. It has a way of calming me."
"Speaking of benches" Mary began walking "I hate to admit I've gotten a bit too old for sitting on the ground" she looked back at Tom and chuckled "actually I can sit on the ground it's just the getting down and up that's a bit difficult."
"Lady Mary Crawley admits to aging!" he teased causing her to smirk as she nudged his shoulder. Concentrating on the view, Tom hadn't noticed two teak chairs flanking a matching table sitting in front of the right arch. "I thought you said a bench."
"Actually I was talking about sitting you brought up benches. Besides I think you'll find this much more comfortable sitting while eating our lunch."
"And I know how much you like to be comfortable Mary" Tom teased. "Maybe last night I should have told the story about that hotel in Greece-"
"I think Tom we told enough stories last night" she interrupted.
"Oh Mary I can still picture you-" he began laughing "that goat" then his laugh become so hard most of what he was saying became unintelligible but she could make out the words "the rain."
She too began laughing more so because of Tom's laughter than what he had said.
As Tom wiped his tears from laughing he said "Oh Mary we've had some grand times haven't we?"
Mary smiled as she nodded her head. "Yes we have. But just as much as I've enjoyed those trips I like times like this just sitting and chatting."
"And enjoying a good meal." Tom set his empty plate down on the table. "That was quite good Mary" as he opened his second cold bottle of cider (thank heavens for coolers he thought). The slant of the back of the chair made it easy to lean back. "Now the hard part will be not falling asleep in this chair."
"Now who's acting old?" Mary teased.
"We are old Mary."
"We!" Mary huffed.
"Yes we Mary. Face it we have far more years behind us than we have ahead of us. We both have had such full lives. Think of all we've seen and done. There's been happiness and grief too of course. We've loved and lost and loved again."
She took a sip of her cider. "Earlier, at the graveyard, you reminded me of how awful I was-"
"Mary" he interrupted. "I didn't say you were awful."
She glanced at him with her brow raised and that sly smile that was so familiar to him. "Well it was implied and we both know it was true. But the point I'm making is that it's taken me so long Tom but I've finally come to appreciate what I have. These last few years I have a feeling of contentment that I never had before."
"These days the house seems filled with laugher and joy and I relish it. My days aren't spent worrying about the estate's finances and how to keep it going but doing things I enjoy like teaching Ashley's granddaughters and George's daughter Helen to ride or" she looked at him and grinned "doing the flower arrangements for the church. I'm spending far more time just enjoying my grandchildren than I did George or Caroline."
"Ashley and I are thinking of spending January and maybe February in the Bahamas. Maybe you and Aoibhinn could come even if not for the whole time for a couple of weeks or so."
"I'm don't know-"
"You don't have to give me an answer right now. We've got months to think about it. But it would be good to get away from our dreary winter weather and be able to sit outdoors like this and you have to admit those ocean views are lovely." She grinned "in fact they just might rival the Irish Sea."
Tom walked over to the drinks table ready to pour himself a whisky but thought he'd wait until Mary and Ashley came back from saying good-night to their grandchildren. He chuckled thinking of Mary as a doting grandmother. Walking around the sitting room, he thought was comfortable in a way he never associated with Downton. The myriad of photographs on the various tables were mostly family photographs but as Ashley had said there were a few of Valerie's photographs. He hadn't noticed the small bookcase before and as he read some of the titles of the books he froze.
"Did you help yourself to a drink" Mary said breezily as she entered the room. "I'll-" she stopped as she realized Tom was standing by the bookcase. He held a book in his hand and somehow she knew which book it was.
"I don't really read many books especially not mysteries" Mary said as she came to stand next to him "but Dina highly recommended it."
"She sent us a lovely note telling us how much she enjoyed Aidan's books. How he was a wonderful writer."
"I must have read that one in two nights" Mary said "and then immediately read the second one."
"He had started on a third one, was about half way finished when he became sick. We found it and detailed notes on the chapters he hadn't finished when we were going through his things."
"Maybe you should consider finishing it."
Tom looked up at her in surprise. "Me?"
"You're a writer. I know not mysteries but with his notes maybe you could finish it. It would be a great tribute to him."
It was still dark when he woke but Tom was too restless to remain in bed. He'd had a pleasant evening spent with Mary and Ashley in their sitting room after a fine dinner with George and his family and Ashley's three granddaughters so he wasn't sure why he felt so restlessness. Was it sleeping in this house? Was it that Aoibhinn wasn't here? Or Mary's talk about him finishing Aidan's book?
After dressing he opened the door to the small hallway but there was no sound other than the faint clicking of a distant clock. There was pale light coming from the direction of the grand salon and he headed towards there finding the light was from a couple wall sconces up on the balcony level which cast shadowy light through the arches down to the grand salon.
The predawn coolness hit Tom as he stepped out the front door making him glad that he had slipped on a jacket over his Irish knit jumper. The blackness of the night sky had faded into a steely blue but there was no glimmer yet of a rising sun. As he stood still on the gravel drive he thought of how he had forgotten how quiet it could be here. Coming from a city it was something that had taken him by surprise. He thought of long ago nights when he had returned from taking old Lady Grantham home and he'd walk from the garage to his cottage stopping to marvel at this unaccustomed quietness. Sometimes there would be the faraway whimper of a fox or the rustling of leaves or the hoot of an owl but mostly there would be silence.
Now that he was outside he wasn't sure what to do. Noticing the folly that looked like the ruins of a Greek temple across the broad lawn he thought of watching sunrise from there. Sometimes at home when he woke this early he'd take his cup of tea and sit on the bench in the garden watching the sun rise over the sea. But then, without thinking, he began walking down the gravel drive, the crunch of his footsteps on the gravel breaking the silence.
It somehow seemed so natural that after the places he had visited this morning that he'd end up here in the library. But unlike the chauffeur's cottage, the garage, and the servants hall, all of which had been major parts of his life so long ago, the library had only wonderful memories. He had loved this room from the moment he first stepped into it. Although of course then he was only allowed in for the few minutes it took to find a book. Later when he actually lived in the house this room had been a sort of refuge for him.
He stood just inside the doorway staring to his left at the wall of books. Slowly he walked along, his fingers lightly touching the books, stopping now and then to look at the upper shelves before walking on. He wasn't sure at first of what he was seeing but quickly read the spines until he saw the one labeled 1910-1930. Taking the book off the shelf he sat down at the small table and quickly leafed through the pages until he saw scrawled in his hand writing in the first column. He thumbed down the page, twenty or so entries all containing his name. He turned the page, again seeing his name until half way down he saw S Crawley.
Intently running his hand along the books as he read the titles he sighed when he heard the library door open. "Just a minute or two more Mr. Carson" he said without looking toward the doorway.
There was a faint giggle instead of the butler's deep voice. "I don't believe I've ever been mistaken for Carson before." He felt his face flush at that raspy voice not of the staid butler but her.
Turning around to face her he said "Lady Sybil." Although he knew he should leave he made no movement to do so.
Walking closer to him, so close he could smell that wonderful lilac scent of hers, she said "So what are you choosing?" as she looked at the books he had set on the small stand. She looked up at him with those lovely blue eyes. "Don't you ever read for fun? I mean these books are all so serious."
Her eyes twinkling she spoke again before he had a chance to say anything. "Don't you ever just want to lose yourself in a far-away place? For just a few hours wander the streets of Cairo or sweat in the heat of the jungle or look for buried treasure on a deserted isle?"
Mary stood in the open doorway of the library. Tom was only a few feet away but he seemed so deep in thought that he apparently didn't realize she was there. Then she noticed the old library ledger lying open on the small table. "Surely there's more interesting books here than that old ledger."
"Not to me." He closed the book. "In many ways it's …" he looked down at the book as ran his index finger up and down the cover. He wasn't sure she'd understand how much this ledger told the story of his life here at Downton.
Standing on the gravel drive, Mary watched the car as it slowly made its way down the grave drive. In the course of their friendship there had been so many good-byes between them but Mary felt this time was a bit different although she couldn't quite fathom why. As Tom had hugged her goodbye she reminded him to think about joining her and Ashley in the Bahamas. "I-" he said in reply before stopping. "January is a long way off Mary" he finally said.
Half way down the drive, Tom, sitting in the backseat, turned so he could look out the back window and he watched until the Abbey was no longer in sight.