Sorry it took a while for this chapter to come out. Break had ended and school started and I was stressed.
"Okay so my turn?" Gwen says as she racks her brain for the start of this new timeline.
"Yeah, starting from the night I fought Electro and Green Goblin" Peter responds seeing her trying to think of the night.
"Oh, okay I remember now," she states while preparing herself, "Okay we were about to overpower Electro when he faded, kinda like you did, and came back a few seconds later human, well not blue anymore, but I assume that was because of you and the other Peters. Max explained and said he was sorry for all the damage he made. Then, you sensed Goblin, I guess, and you told me and Max to take the car and leave. I protested originally, but I realized you had it handled. So, you fought Goblin and the clock tower ended getting destroyed during the fight, so I was pretty glad that I didn't stay. Goblin after being revealed as Harry was sent to that prison that Conners was sent to. I had gone home as I definitely missed my flight, and a little after the fight you were at my window all beat up. We laid there for a while just being you and me."
"So, what we did made an effect on this world. I didn't expect it would to this level." Peter says shocked.
"Yeah, I guess I did" Gwen says softly, "Okay so continuing, after that you decided, you were moving to London with me and be Spider-man there. We were together for 2 when you proposed to me, 3 years when we were married, and in our second year of marriage when we found out we were having a baby. We named her May after well your Aunt May. She's 4 now and she is definitely your daughter as she is developing her powers. You were training her to control them, so she doesn't reveal everything."
"Wait, so I have a daughter?" Peter asks, shocked by the information.
"Yeah, I mean we are 29 Peter most people are married by this age," Gwen says chuckling.
"I guess I wasn't expecting that at all, and I guess I'm kind of upset that I don't remember any of this," Peter says as he realizes he missed so much of his life, about 9 years of it to be exact.
"Oh, I didn't think about that. I'm sure the memories will come to you soon. And I'll tell you about everything to maybe trigger memories," Gwen thinks what she can do for him, "And you should maybe change."
"Oh yeah," he says as he suddenly realizes the red and blue, spandex suit is still actively on him, "I'll be back in a minute."
He heads to the room he used to occupy alone to find it looks entirely different to what he remembers. Brushing off that thought and grabs some clothes and strips off the suit revealing all the fun scars he's acquired over the past 11 years or so.
"I try to forget about those" Gwen says as she appears, leaning against the door frame, "It just makes me think of all the pain you've endured from such an early age, but they are a part of you and it shows how much of a hero you are, Peter."
"They weren't very fun to get though," Peter sarcastically states while pulling on a shirt, covering the many bruises and cuts he has.
"Obviously, Peter," Gwen says as she playfully smacks him.
A quick buzz distracts them both from the conversation they were actively having.
"It's my mom she's here with May. Are you ready to meet your daughter for the first in your perspective?" Gwen prepares Peter for an interaction he's never experienced before.
"I'll manage," Peter says denying his anxiety of this meeting, the feeling of both nausea and wanting to hide and never come out plaguing him currently.
"You sure? I understand it's hard for you and I'm perfectly fine respecting your boundaries, especially now," she worriedly asks Peter.
All Peter can hear is the constant quickening of his heartbeat. He feels it like it's in his throat, like if it beats too fast, he'll throw up. He fights the urge to say he's not fine, so he can hide for longer, even if it's only for a few minutes. "I'll be fine" He croaks out as Gwen raises her eyebrow in concern, "I'm sure, Gwen. I can make it."
"Okay," She uneasily responds while opening the door to reveal a small, little, brunette girl, who very much so resembles Peter.
"The squealing of a 4-year girl is unbearable" is the only thought in Peter's head, but also how much this young girl looked him.
"Mommy!" May screams as she sprints towards Gwen. Her smile is huge expressing her pure happiness to see her parents after being with her grandmother for the past few hours. After saying "hi" to her mom, she sees Peter and if it was possible her smile got even bigger. "Daddy," the young girl screams as she approaches him.
So many thoughts running through Peter's head all disappear as he looks down at this child that is hugging his legs. He wants to look at Gwen for help only to find that she's saying goodbye to her mom. As to not confuse May he picks her because that's the only he could think of now. He spins her while holding, trying not to drop her. She begins to giggle as she is having the time of her life.
The effects of spinning in circles begin to hit, so he slows down trying to steady himself and not drop the young child in his arms. He places her down and sees her struggle with the vertigo as well. Gwen, not wanting May to fall and cry, she picks her up and smiles at Peter as she walks past.
"Try not fall, would you?" she jokes, "And you did good."
While she walks May to her room, he thinks of how badly that could have gone and how it ended up going instead. He smiles to himself thinking maybe his anxiety will inevitably get better if he can manage to not mess up with this new life. "I did good why is my heart pounding even harder" he thinks over the beats of his heart. "Why can't breathe" is ringing throughout his brain.
"Hey, you, okay? That's a dumb question you aren't fine," Gwen's voice pulls him from the possibility of a panic attack. He can feel his pulse slow back to normal. "Hey just focus on me and breathe," Gwen says as she sees him relax slowly.
All he thinks about is his breathing and Gwen next to him saying calming words in his ears. He almost doesn't hear the small child coming up next to him and hugging as hard as she can, which for a 4-year-old with superhuman strength it's pretty tight. "Are you okay, Daddy," she asks him. He hears the fear in her voice as her father is on the line of a panic attack.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine," Peter repeats the phrase as to calm her more. He glances at Gwen to see her face put on a smile to keep May calm.
"Okay," May looks at her dad and just smiles, and then gets up and goes to her room.
"Wow, she moved incredibly quickly, didn't she?" Gwen jokes as May is out of earshot.
"Yeah, she did," Peter jokes back with her. He takes in a deep breathes and says, "Wanna go to bed. You can tuck in May first, but I need sleep."
"Yeah, I'll go do that and you can head to the room, I guess," She responds while she gets up, ruffles Peter's hair, and goes to May's room.
Peter gets up and heads to the room he now shares with Gwen, and just plops himself on the bed, exhaustion covering his face. The fighting and anxiety took a toll on him today. If only he healed even faster, as the pain still is very noticeable and hurts incredibly. And don't even get him started on the emotional damage. Why does everything hurt? Why can't he lead a happy, successful life like Peter 2 does? Why couldn't he save Gwen the first time around? Why does he only feel pain? The questions surround him trapping him in a cycle of "What If?"s and regret and grief.
He doesn't realize tears are falling down his cheeks, soaking the blanket and pillow underneath him. He doesn't realize he isn't alone. That he has 2 people so close, yet so far away at the same time.
Why does it hurt so much?
Gwen comes in to find Peter within an existential crisis, quietly sobbing into the pillows as to make less noise. "Peter!" Gwen exclaims as she runs to him, holding him. "I'm right here, okay. You're okay, May and I are okay, we're okay, Peter," She repeats to him softly in his ears.
He knows she's there and everything is okay, right? That's what he decides and relaxes the tension in his muscles and tries to sleep the pain away.