Again, Courtney stood in the plain laundry room. There were a few minutes left before the dryer stopped and she could grab her sheets and clothes, take them back into her Lysol-smelling room, and place them gently onto her bed. Make everything feel like it was normal again - as in a few years ago, where life consisted of petty drama and tons of talk-show dates in the States once the series picked up more praise down there. Sometimes, she wonders if she should move down there, to some pretty city like New York or Dallas, where it creates the persona of sparkling lights and busy streets. Could she even keep up with everyone else if she tried? She can barely keep up with herself.
Speaking of, she realized she wasn't vibrating while sitting on the dryer, which meant her clothes had finished. Retractable tangents of memories reverted her back into her current reality. Slowly, she hopped off of the dryer and opened it, squinting her eyes at the heat that left the dryer and mixed itself with the stale air of the laundry room. Courtney squatted and cautiously pulled her sheets and clothes out of the dryer and into the laundry basket beside her. She quickly peeked inside to see if there were any lingering socks or underwear, before shutting the door and standing up, grabbing the basket alongside her. To her right, she saw the other person's clothes from earlier were still in the washer, sitting. She made a face towards the damp clothes and spun around, walking out of the laundry room and to the elevator. Pushing it with a finger holding the laundry basket, Courtney stood there in silence.
The dinner she had with Bridgette was silently frustrating. They barely spoke, other than Bridgette commenting, "I wish you were more open sometimes, Court."
Courtney hadn't responded to her, choosing to take a step backwards and hide exactly how she felt. So, she looked down at her unappetizing pizza and took a bite out of it. The two girls were standing on opposite sides of the island separating the kitchen from the living room. Courtney stood on the kitchen side, and Bridgette on the living room side. It kind of represented the two, Courtney had contemplated while eating, avoiding the earlier discoveries of the poems saved from high school. The brunette was in the stove and the refrigerator; quick burst of heat but hiding the things that filled a person with abstract feelings inside of them. She slid through the wooden cabinets, echoing forgotten thoughts. And even the freezer, where her cool exterior greeted many quickly. And Bridgette was the living room; she was home. Comfort. The sofa full of photogenic smiles and captured naps. The television that showcased the love in the world, the peace everyone looks for.
Courtney was struggling to find herself where Bridgette was in life. That's what she mainly pondered over while they ate over the pizza box. How does she go from the island separating the two to the state? Continent? or even Pangaea, connecting everything together? And the brunette wasn't jealous of her best friend; she could never be. It was self-induced anger, blame only towards herself.
Ding. The elevator slowly opened its doors, and luckily for Courtney, there wasn't anyone on the other side. She set the basket down onto the floor, and pressed the number 4 button, leaning on the wall across from the doors and closing her eyes. Then, after a few seconds of silently waiting, the doors closed.
When she was a child, and even later on in her adolescent years, Courtney never saw cleaning as a chore. Rather, it was more of a lifestyle she wished others would adopt. Making her bed, doing laundry, washing dishes, all of it had an odd appeal to her. For a while, she believed she had an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perfectionist attitude, daily schedule of when to complete particular actions, and a way of how to do them. Later on, in her psych class, she learned about OCD-personality traits, and clenched onto those in order to find herself.
Cleaning helped relieve her of negative emotions when playing her violin or studying couldn't quite reach the level of serenity. In Total Drama, it was actually how she and Bridgette began talking. Courtney always took the half-full or completely full bowls and plates of the Bass and would throw them out. One day, Bridgette stood up before she could and smiled at her, telling her to sit down because she 'got it' this time. When the blonde walked back, she sat down next to Courtney and the two hit it off. They later gossiped about the latest eliminations and talked about how cute some of the boys were (some of which Courtney would never deny calling attractive versus others).
Courtney assumed her disorganized room was the first indication something was wrong. Bridgette came by nearly six months ago and immediately noticed the less-than-pristine look of her best friend's bedroom. Courtney waved her off and said she was having a bad day and hadn't had the time to really clean her room.
"I'll get to it, don't even worry." She hadn't exactly planned on the bad day to last several months.
Standing in her living room, Courtney set the basket down and looked around. There was only one slice of Courtney's pizza left, and one slice of Bridgette's pizza left. The box was wide open, making the majority of the tiny apartment smell like grease. The Febreze was in the bathroom, so Courtney would have to remind herself to grab it and spray the hell out of this place.
"Court! Come on and put those sheets on the bed!" Bridgette called from the bedroom.
Her voice was as happy as always, Courtney mindlessly thought to herself as she traveled into her room. She stood at the entrance, staring around.
The floor was nearly clear of any clothes or clutter. Any book she had attempted to read in the past was placed back into her bookshelf in color order (a quirky habit Courtney had picked up in middle school in order to be different than everyone else who organized things in alphabetical order). Even her shoes were nicely placed in the closet - this she noticed a couple minutes later after walking in the room in awe. The best part: Bridgette used the Hawaiian-smelling Febreze. Classic.
Speaking of Bridgette, the blonde best friend sat on the edge of Courtney's bed, scrolling on her phone tapping on the screen several times. The owner of the apartment smiled lightly, before walking over to her friend and plopping the basket down in front of her. "Scoot." Courtney ordered in a friendly manner. "You're in the way."
"Contrary to belief," Bridgette clicked her phone off and smiled, looking up at Courtney, "I am the way." The brunette snorted, shaking her head. Bridgette did stand up, though, and pulled out some of her clothes. Then she picked up some of Courtney's shirts and underwear. "I'm going to put some of these away, okay?"
Courtney nodded and pulled out her bedsheets.
For a few minutes, the two worked in silence. Courtney wanted to make conversation, to at least show her friend she was fine, but couldn't think of anything off the top of her head. Maybe the wedding? Or her parents - no, she couldn't ask about Bridgette's parents, because that would lead into a conversation about her parents and the last thing Courtney wants is to be reminded of her seclusion to the world, parents included.
"So," the brunette began, slightly struggling to reach across her bed and fix the bottom sheet, "have you talked to LeShawna recently?" She finished.
There was a small silence on the other side of the room. "I haven't talked to Shawnie in the past month, but yeah we stay in contact!" Courtney could hear the proudness in her friend's voice, alongside some confusion. "Why are you asking?" The brunette could feel hazel eyes looking at the back of her head.
"No reason." Courtney responded quickly. She inwardly cringed, noticing the terrible lie. After a few seconds, she released the breath she was holding. "I was going through my Instagram feed and one of her posts appeared, so I was just curious."
There was no reason to be jealous of LeShawna's well-adjustment and consistent social media presence. In the filming of Action and World Tour Courtney believed social media was stupid and caused more harm than help. Yet, that's when her entire focus was directed towards Duncan and being a lawyer, so of course if she were to have any presence on the infinite internet, it was going to be only in the best ways.
Which is why one thing Courtney never did was post a picture with Duncan on Twitter or Instagram. Her original reasoning was because she didn't enjoy people knowing her personal life, and for the time they were together that's all Courtney told him. And he didn't really care, with the few exceptions. The more tangled their relationship became, the more Courtney came to an understanding that wasn't the entire reason she never posted pictures of him or with him. Somewhere in-between seasons she knew she cared about her future more than anything. So, she only posted pictures that she believed would boost her chances of having the brightest future at prestigious colleges. Ironically enough this was during her time on reality television.
Bridgette "mhmm'ed" instead of using her words. Courtney could hear her moving around the room again, opening drawers and closing them.
When she finished making the sheets, Courtney lazily threw her comforter onto the bed and sat on top. Her friend was almost done putting away her clothes; everything felt normal for a moment.
A few years ago, the two girls would gossip in Courtney's room, reading through tabloid magazines and watching TMZ reports about American and Canadian celebrities they had met in passing once upon a time. The Americans really ate them up, constantly inviting them to the States for red carpet events. Bridgette posted a lot more on her social media accounts about all their journeys through Hollywood and New York and how kids would come up to get autographs and the luncheons with popular television stars as well.
Reminiscing, Courtney unlocked her phone and clicked on the Instagram application, automatically logged in. Underneath her account's page, she clicked onto the pictures she was tagged in, most of them by Bridgette. Not that the two were old (Courtney would deny her age until she hit 40) but the bags under Courtney's eyes have seen much better days now compared to the pictures she was tagged in. It was kind of nice, looking back at their perfectly done makeup and rented dresses, or when they sped through the Canadian cities with their hair flying in the wind. Life was much more carefree then.
"What cha looking at?" Courtney felt her best friend fall onto the bed beside her as she asked. She peeked over the brunette's shoulder. "Wait, I loved that silver dress they let me wear for the Kids Choice Awards that one year. I wish I could wear it again."
Courtney clicked on the picture, letting it load. In it, Bridgette's hair was styled in a bun, similarly to the aftermath episode where she sang her way to Geoff's forgiveness for kissing Alejandro. And Courtney wore an off-the-shoulder peach dress, fitting on the top but flowing to her calves from the waist. The hair designer stole Bridgette's natural beach waves and incorporated them into Courtney's short locks. Courtney's hand was wrapped around her best friend's neck, and Bridgette's went across Courtney's back. The blonde was smiling at her friend, who in return was laughing at something. In short, the two looked like real princesses.
"You looked beautiful in that picture - not that you never don't look beautiful." Courtney left the picture, clicking onto her regular feed and scrolling through it.
Bridgette laughed. "You really have a way with words Court. You looked stunning in that too. You always look stunning."
"Bridge, I literally look like a mop right now. You don't have to lie."
"Well..." Bridgette started.
Fake gasping, Courtney turned to her friend, who avoided eye-contact.
Then, the two began to laugh.
The fridge welcomed the two slices of pizza with lots of space and a melodic hum.
Breaking the box down, Courtney grabbed an old grocery bag and put the pieces of the box inside of it, hanging it onto the front door as a reminder to take it downstairs to the trash room. Afterwards, she wiped the counter and the island down with her washcloth. Bridgette sprayed Febreze in here moments later.
The television was on a music station, Today's Hits as it was titled. It was currently playing a song by some guy named Charlie Puth. Bridgette was a fan of him, but Courtney had been so out of tune to recent music hits she felt like she was living in 2016 instead of 2022. It was a jazz-themed song, an earworm Courtney could see herself humming on her way to work and cursing Bridgette for it in the process.
This was the atmosphere Courtney realized she missed. Cleaning, singing along to songs she didn't know the words to with her best friend. There was no one to thank but the woman of the hour, Bridgette. At the same time, though, it made her fearful of when Bridgette left and went back home. The half-step of process they made would crumble back into unrecognizable debris. A word Courtney was not familiar with until now was dependency. Here, she realized this is what she had. Without her parents or Bridgette physically here, there was a probable chance she would return to bad days every day again.
"Hey, what're you thinking about?" A voice disrupted her negative thoughts from progressing. Where would she be without Bridgette?
She turned around to her friend and smiled. "Nothing, just that I like this song and I'm going to hate you when it gets stuck in my head."
Bridgette crossed her arms playfully. "It isn't my fault your best friend has great taste in music."
Courtney snorted. "Sure. Whatever you say."
Suddenly, in-between songs, Courtney's phone vibrated and made a sound, alerting her she had a new notification. Her phone was on the couch, closer to Bridgette, so naturally she went and picked it up.
"Courtney?" She asked, staring at the phone.
The brunette, throwing her washcloth in the sink, turned around.
Bridgette continued. "Why is Trent Rivers sending you a snapchat?"
Trent Rivers. That name really threw Courtney back to almost a year ago.
She walked over to Bridgette. "Trent? We uh, talk sometimes." She took her phone away from Bridgette.
Which was the truth. Trent and Courtney have had a friendship since Action, naturally. That was when the rumors of their significant others cheating on them began. Trent and Courtney's friendship could somewhat rival the one she held with Bridgette, especially since he knows things about Courtney she wouldn't actively release to the public, and vice versa. In addition, these were thoughts and feelings she had trouble opening expressing to Bridgette, like the ones Courtney had been feeling tonight. The two have had a bond that grew over the years.
Plus, Trent never hated her like everyone else did. He was patient and came from a place of understanding when Courtney really started to unwind and change into something much more antagonistic on the show.
"I never knew that." Bridgette commented, sounding a bit upset over the news that had been ongoing for several years. She did continue to stand next to Courtney though, interested in what Trent sent.
Courtney unlocked her phone and tapped on the Snapchat application. "Well, y'know, when people clump others together in similar boats and define you as crazy, it isn't totally left field that they become friends." She retorted; her voice displaying hints of bitterness.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bridgette flinch and grab her arms, something she always did when she felt uncomfortable or guilty in a situation, even though Courtney's comment wasn't necessarily directed towards her.
Of all of the seasons of Total Drama, the second season was the one where they spoke the least amount. Bridgette was busy with Geoff and being an aftermath host, so she had little time to hangout. And Courtney had tunnel vision for winning her lawsuit against Chris and the show, wanting to prove to herself and others (who, she later realized, didn't care at all) that she could get what she want however and whenever she wanted. In the process, though, she was heartbroken at the rumors, just like Trent was. He would always comment that tragedy brought others together, and Courtney would mock him for lamely attempting to reference Shakespeare or his works.
She clicked the picture Trent sent her, which was of his laptop broadcasting one of the many articles of Courtney's reappearance with Bridgette. He had captioned the picture "glad to see you're alive and well" with a smiley face emoji.
The brunette couldn't help but smile at the photo. Trent was always looking out for her. "Trent and I had one of those streak things." Courtney mentioned, double tapping his name so she could send a response to him.
"Really?" Bridgette asked. "For how long?"
Courtney flipped the camera, so it was on her. She stuck her tongue out at the camera. Bridgette popped her face in, smiling with her teeth. She sent the picture without a caption.
It took Courtney a few seconds to answer the question. "Um, maybe like 150 days or something like that. I don't really remember."
"Dude, that's so long!" The blonde responded, shocked at the number.
Courtney shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the couch. Bridgette slid down beside her. "And you guys are each other's best friends?" Bridgette looked, astounded.
"Oh, is that what the little heart thing means?" Courtney asked. "I never knew. No one told me. I can't see how we are though."
In her head, Courtney knew that was a lie. For those months they talked every day, Trent and Courtney spoke all throughout the day about anything and everything except how they were feeling (for the most part). Courtney would send videos of her walks to work, and Trent would send videos of his dog, who Courtney always called the cutest thing in the entire world. If they both were feeling stressed, they would send videos of them playing their respective instruments to each other, creating a faulty, but beautiful duet.
Bridgette raised an eyebrow at Courtney, knowing she was lying, but not aware of the extent of the lie. "Court."
"Fine. We talked a lot." She mumbled out.
Trent sent another message to her.
More interested, Bridgette sat up more proper.
Courtney turned and looked at her. "What?"
"Did you guys like, date?" Bridgette asked, staring at Courtney.
Courtney opened the picture from Trent. It was of his face this time, waving a hand. "hi bridge! and glad to see you court!" It read. Courtney took one smiling and captioned it, "hi trent. long time no see. hows life? bridge says hi!" and sent it.
Afterwards, she turned to her best friend, confused. "No Bridge, Trent and I never dated. That would be weird. And totally cliché."
Bridgette searched Courtney's face for a lie, and found none.
She was telling the truth. Trent and she were only friends. In Courtney's eyes, she could only see him the way many girls saw Cody Anderson as: a brother. He was there as a guy Courtney knew she could always count on, no matter what. It almost came to the point where Courtney believed he would try (and more than likely fail) to beat a guy up in order to protect her. There was more to Trent than the heartbroken musician somewhat obsessed with the number nine that many girls saw.
Unsurprisingly, many people thought she and Trent would start a romance after all of the drama in Action and World Tour. Some of the other contestants had recognized that the duo starting slowly spending more time together in-between seasons and while the two weren't actively competing against everyone else. They never did anything romantic though. And a ton of ex-contestants tried reasoning with Trent behind Courtney's back, telling him how crazy she was, and she wasn't worth the time. According to Trent, he always explained to them he was a big boy, and he can handle himself.
"I always tell them, 'Court's not that bad!.'" Trent would tell her as they sat in his hotel room, pausing the Netflix show. "She's actually a genuine person, and has a heart, a big one. She just doesn't show it all the time."
Courtney lightly slapped his arm. "Why would you tell them I have a big heart, Trent? They could use that against me."
"Nah, I wouldn't worry about it. Chillax though, we're not in competition mode, this is Netflix and chill mode."
The two had looked at each other after Trent said that, and laughed aloud. Courtney had to cover her mouth in order to avoid being louder than she already was.
Sometimes, Courtney was afraid Trent would begin having feelings for her. But, as the years continued, her fear decreased until it barely existed. Then, they had stopped talking for several months like they always do.
There were nights where Courtney wanted to reach out to him, almost more than she had wanted to for Bridgette. She knew he had been in places emotionally that the cameras never caught, places mentally that producers wouldn't understand. Gwen really hurt Trent, and as far as Courtney is concerned Trent would never release that information to her. Yeah, they were all teenagers, but the public humiliation, camera manipulation, and real-life emotions did not mix well.
A couple hours later, Bridgette and Courtney were still talking to Trent through Snapchat. The television was on, playing TMZ, reminding the girls of their late teenaged years.
"Hey Courtney?" Bridgette turned to her friend.
The brunette was a few screen-taps away from opening the latest message from her friend. She turned and looked at Bridgette, who had one of those looks in her eyes. Courtney recognized it easily; Bridgette had something on her mind. The blonde probably spent some time formulating how she was going to ask the question, considering the many reactions Courtney could have. "What's up Bridgette?" She asked, opening Trent's message, which was him talking about his plans for the next few months.
Her best friend re-adjusted herself in Courtney's sofa, still looking at her. "Are you going to respond to the email about the reunion?"
"I'm not going." Courtney responded curtly.
"But Court-." Bridgette tried to begin her rebuttal.
Courtney turned to her friend, her speech quickly picking up. "Bridgette, I told you over the phone, I'm not going. That's comparable to me voluntarily throwing myself into a room full of lions and hawks. I would be eaten alive." The brunette stood up. "No one likes me, no one cares about me, and Bridge? I just -." The feeling of panic Courtney was all-too familiar with began. "I just can't."
Bridgette stood up alongside her. "Courtney. It's not comparable. The only lions and hawks are Chris and the sorry producers that work underneath him. And I won't let you be eaten alive by anyone. Nor will Trent." Bridgette grabbed her friend's hand. "I like you, and Trent likes you, Geoff likes you, and there are probably more people that actually like you than you would expect. You have us and your fans. Y-."
"Fans?" Courtney snorted. She was still holding onto Bridgette's hand though. "Bridge, Chris has been throwing hate mail at me for the past four years. I don't think I've been fan mail since we were on the island. I don't think Chris understood what depriving teenagers of things like that can do in the long run."
"Just because you only saw the hate doesn't mean there aren't people that look up to you for being a strong, independent, driven young woman." Bridgette made eye contact with her friend.
"And bitchy, obnoxious, overbearing, annoying, need I say more?" Courtney crossed her arms, looking away.
The blonde took a step forward, so she and Courtney were almost touching. Both girls were about average height, so they were eye-to-eye with each other.
She looked at Courtney again. "Court, you're none of those things."
"Except I am Bridgette!" Courtney turned and faced her best friend. "I am all of those things, no matter how much I want to say that I've changed. Look at where those traits got me."
Courtney outstretched her arms. "I'm living in a cramped apartment alone. The only time I talk to people is when I'm taking their orders as a barista. I'm practically a hermit, never leaving my apartment unless I need food or have to go to work. I'm a loser Bridgette." Courtney put her arms down weakly. There was no anger or frustration in her voice anymore; there was only exhaustion. "Just like in every season of Total Drama, I'm a loser. I've lost money, friendships, the opportunity to have love, and my dignity. I don't have anything left."
"All the more reason to come." Bridgette spoke without missing a beat. "If this is your rock bottom, Court, that means you can only go up." She smiled for a moment, before frowning again. "And don't call yourself a loser, because you're not."
"So, what am I?" Courtney asked, quietly.
The television illuminated the two girls as they stood face-to-face. The volume on it wasn't high, but easily heard.
A phone alert rang in the dense apartment. A quick glance would see it's from Trent.
There was a chill in the apartment, lingering in the living room. The air-conditioner played its continuous melody, being on for some time.
Bridgette smiled again. "You're Courtney. Duh."
And that led Courtney to breathed out the anxiety she was holding in the form of a soft laugh. Her shoulders dipped down, losing the tension from earlier. "That doesn't make any sense."
The blonde embraced Courtney suddenly. "No one else is Courtney, but you. And since when have you cared about what people think, or been afraid of Chris, or your confidence?"
Shocked, Courtney stood in place, frozen for the first few moments as Bridgette continued speaking. Then, she abruptly released herself from her friend's grip. "When did I ever say I was afraid of Chris?" She placed her hands on her hips. "I'm not afraid of anyone. Especially not Chris."
"That's the Courtney I know and love." Bridgette smiled at her friend.
In a way, Bridgette was correct. While they were filming, Courtney didn't care about anyone. All she saw was green, the color of success. And money, as the cherry on top. With a few exceptions, she tried to never display signs of fear or anxiety. If she did, it would become channeled externally as anger or annoyance. Coincidentally, as her relationship with Duncan continued, she became more angry - hence the correlation. But, during the months there wasn't any filming, Courtney would sit at home at read through all the mail Chris would send to her house. Or she would google her name and read the online articles telling her to just quit the series or give up on love. The time between World Tour and All Stars was the hardest; it took Courtney weeks to come around to the idea of going back onto another competition series for what Chris deemed as the "final time". Luckily, the first couple weeks were fine. Unfortunately, like always, the fiery competition got to the best of her and the traits that were a staple of her character became the downfall of her time on the island for the third time.
The fact that she hadn't learned her lessons at all were what hit her the hardest. Courtney spent so much time home moping around, but she could've been outside, redeeming herself. A few hours ago Courtney realized that she actually was afraid of public scrutiny. The thoughts of others left imaginative impressions on her skin and in her mind, leaving her now-vulnerable to most. This isn't the Courtney people are familiar with. That Courtney hid her feelings and avoided confrontation of anything that wasn't related to personal gain or revenge.
Courtney grabbed her phone and unlocked it, again opening the Snapchat application and opening the message she received from Trent. Ignoring it, she sent him a chat message instead.
"should i go to the reunion? feeling kind of stuck."
He opened it and responded almost immediately. Courtney phone lit up with a new message.
"absolutely. wouldn't be the same w/o u. cant deal with the crazies without my bud. pls come"
She sighed and looked at Bridgette. "I'll think about it. Unfortunately, both you and Trent want me to co-."
Courtney was cut off by her best friend hugging her tightly. "Oh Courtney, I'm so proud of you."
"Yeah, well," The brunette started, slowly hugging back, "don't get your hopes up. I may decide the day of not to go."
Bridgette didn't respond to her friend. Rather, she nuzzled her face into Courtney's shoulder. And Courtney smiled a bit, hugging even tighter than before.
This was super random, as i am currently nearing the end of my thanksgiving break from college, so i thought, 'why not push out a new chapter?'. Again, thank you all for all the reviews, i really do love to see you guys reading and interested in what's happening!
A couple housekeeping things. Last chapter will probably be one of the darker ones, with a few moments in each chapter from there on.
I will probably begin to pick up the pace of the story progression after the next chapter, because i am suuuuper excited to begin writing for all of the characters (or at least, the more relevant ones for this story), so i'll make sure to note somewhere in the chapters the dates or times of day.
And in addition, we have the appearance of a new character! I already knew Trent was going to be an important member in this story, but i decided pretty last minute to introduce him now instead of later on. Hopefully i do him justice. i was considering doing a Trent and Courtney endgame or during the game and having a Duncan and Courtney endgame, but i legitimately have no intentions of hurting Trent in this story (more than i already have planned haha)(also i love him so much) so i threw that away.
And as usual, please review/comment about how you felt about the chapter or the story as a whole, especially the progression of things if you're up to it. if not, maybe the follow button is more your style. Either way, thanks for tuning in, and i hope you enjoy it! thanks a bunch!