The first person she ran into once she left the cafeteria was Ezekiel; another former contestant she forgot about for some time. Considering all the things he went through during filming, he was one of the people Courtney pitied more than herself. Unfortunately, there was still a bit of a green tint to him - on the other hand, he looked like he was eating human food again.
As he looked at her, Courtney couldn't tell if he wanted to growl at her or shrink in fear of her presence.
"Um, it's nice to see you, Ezekiel." She spoke first, trying to dissipate the awkward silence that was gathering between them. Looking around, there didn't seem to be any other former contestants in the area. Some of them purposefully chose to ignore the meeting Chris told everyone about. Based on who was in the cafeteria, it made sense for a good amount of the people to not appear.
Ezekiel looked at Courtney (more like stared), tilting his head a bit like an animal would if they were smelling what was in front of them. "Hi Courtney." He finally spoke. That was shocking, because she wasn't even sure if Ezekiel could still speak.
Thinking hard, the young adult wasn't sure what to say next. Depending on what she said, the guy across from her could attack her or ignore her. "Listen, Ezekiel, it sucks what you went through throughout the series. I'm glad that you're still alive and doing well, though." As she spoke, she decided to stare at the puffy ball on the top of his hate. It made her internally question his body's temperature. The green hoodie and jeans he wore didn't provide any answers either.
"It's alright, eh." Ezekiel shrugged his shoulders. "I'm a lot better, though I lost most of my powers. Thanks for your kind words though!" And like that, he walked away. Courtney stayed standing in-between the communal bathrooms and cabins, contemplating how Ezekiel referred to his mutation effects as powers.
Courtney sat in the confessional, biting in the inside of her mouth, making an attempt to understand her previous interaction with Ezekiel.
"You know, it's just really nice to be back with everyone." Noah crossed his arms in the confessional. It was evident by his eyeroll he was being sarcastic as usual.
"Hey, what're you doing just standing around?" Courtney turned around to Trent walking in her direction.
She waved and waited for him to catch up before they both started walking together. "Well, I was just thanking whatever gods existed that Ezekiel didn't try to bite my head off when I ran into him."
Trent turned around, looking for the farm boy, before watching the ball on the top of his hat disappear into the forest. Instead of watching further, he turned back around. He had a comical, confused look on his face.
"Where were heading towards?" He decided to ask.
Courtney thought for a moment, not really knowing herself. "I guess I'll just head over to the dock for a bit and relax. What about you?"
Trent nodded his head. "I'll come with if you want the company?" He scratched the back of his head. "I was going to just head back to my cabin, but it's really freaking hot out. I may have a heat stroke if I stay indoors."
"I was thinking the same thing."
"Is that why you left the cafeteria?"
She turned to look at Trent, who raised an eyebrow back in her direction. "Yep." She replied. The high levels of annoyance seeped through the singular word.
Courtney turned away from him and looked straight ahead, toward the dock.
"You don't have to lie to me, y'know? I was in the room too." Out of the corner of her eye Courtney could see Trent shrug his shoulders.
"He is just so-!" She started.
Trent smiled, listening to her complaints felt familiar, as if they experienced this conversation before.
In a way, it was a bit juvenile. That would make sense; there was something about the Island that made people distorted, young versions of themselves. Whether it was the memories pooling back in thoughts, or dissociation from current society by being trapped on an island, there was always an energy that affected everyone. The survivor instincts people have or don't have could also attribute to it to.
When they made it to the dock, they sat at the edge and let their feet danger off.
"It's so weird being back here." Trent commented, resting his arms on his legs and leaning forwards. "And being surrounded by everyone again. I honestly thought I would never see some of these people ever again."
Courtney laughed. "I could definitely go without seeing Heather for the rest of my life."
Trent echoed her comment. "You could say that again."
Then, like a broken filter, they recollected on the memories they made during filming and in-between seasons. From the original theme song (it was always strange singing "I wanna be, I wanna be famous" Courtney mentioned at one point.) to moments that happened only minutes ago.
"Do you remember the night before I left to be a cast-mate on Action?" Courtney suddenly asked Trent. She wasn't looking at him, but out at the water.
He glanced at her. "Yeah."
"And you asked me if money buys happiness. And I said something along the lines of it gets me close enough."
The musician didn't respond, recollecting on that night.
They were back in Courtney's room, perfectly normal and devoid of decoration. Her suitcases were next to the door. No one bothered to turn the television volume down; there really was no need to. Their voices were so quiet, yet their words clear as day.
It had rained that night. From the balcony, the air smelled like rain. There was so much uncertainty at that point in their lives. All they could do was focus on their core five senses and remember they are alive.
Courtney didn't feel quite alive. Even during the filming, each fight with Duncan and her teammates made her more exhausted and defeated internally. She would never show it, though, allowing her competitive nature to overcompensate for her lack of problem-solving abilities.
"When I first got off the boat today, I was talking to Cody, and he told me I didn't have to be nice to him because we were competing for anything." Courtney continued to speak. "I haven't stopped thinking about it, because when he said it, I felt like I was back in my hotel room, and you were asking me those questions again."
She stared off into the lake, swinging her feet. "Is that how everyone here really sees me? was the first thing that ran through my mind with Cody said that. Then I remembered, yeah, it is. That's who I am - that's the person I'm trying to change." The brunette allowed a quiet laugh to escape. "It was like I forgot who I was for a second. Maybe it's the effect of this stupid Island, but I felt so disconnected from who I am for a moment. It felt nice.
That's probably part of the reason I ended up falling off the face of the earth. I craved those moments of forgetting who I was. But unfortunately, that didn't end up being the case, because I spent so long in isolation hating myself."
The small waves from the lake hitting the sand on either side of the dock provided noise to avoid a pregnant silence.
The thing about Trent is he only comforted her when she desperately needed it. He was more realistic than Bridgette, which helped him put words on paper and notes to the tune in a guitar.
He sighed, which made Courtney turn her head to look at him. "Court, you can't let a couple bad interactions affect your entire time here." He looked at her. "I don't want you to fall back into whatever hole you were in a couple months ago. I get it's difficult, but you're stronger than that and you know it."
She was overreacting, essentially. Analyzing minor conversations and picking apart each syllable. Two years ago, she couldn't care about what others said about her, and now she can't stop listening to what people comment.
There were some footsteps approaching the duo, shoes hitting the dock heavily. Trent turned around first. Courtney figured it was Bridgette, so she didn't care to look.
"Hey." The person spoke, awkwardly announcing their presence. That was not Bridgette.
"Oh, hey there -." Trent began to speak, quickly.
A moment of silence emerged. "I was hoping to speak to Courtney really quickly about something."
Odd.
"Yeah, sure thing!" Trent quickly got up. "I'll see you later Court." She wordlessly let him leave.
The person took his place, sitting in the spot he left. Courtney continued to look out into the lake.
"Hi." They spoke.
"Hey." Courtney quickly responded.
The next few minutes were spent quietly. Feeling the heat of the sun on her back, Courtney wondered how much time had passed since Chris had the meeting in the cafeteria. Maybe an hour or two?
That was another annoying thing about staying at Wawanakwa: there were only two clocks available to the former contestants - in the cafeteria and the confessional. Courtney suddenly wished she had her phone to create an excuse to stay focused on something else. And it would her ignore the silence between her and -.
"So, what did you want to talk about Gwen?" Courtney finally asked.
Her hair had grown a bit, still religiously sticking to her hair dyes though. Her clothes were considerably the same, but there wasn't as much makeup on her face. Less eyeliner, which actually helped make her eyes pop. A little more color to her skin, though Courtney remembered how fragile it was (especially with sunburns). She understood why so many people were attracted to Gwen.
The goth let one leg dangle over the edge. "I feel like if we were in another world, we would never be friend-ish. Like if we went to high school together, we would never interact. You'd be the class president and I'd be the weird art freak."
Courtney put her head down, letting a small smirk appear on her face. She had had similar thoughts before.
"But," Gwen continued, "this universe, for whatever reason, put us together, on this stupid series. And we've been through enough shit during the show separately and together for me to come to you and apologize. Again. I don't know why you made it so hard to be contacted and found by paparazzi, but I hope after this reunion is over, we can stay in touch. If you want."
This time, Courtney looked at Gwen. "Listen, Gwen. I'm not good at apologies. I never have been. I probably never will be. But the main reason I'm doing this stupid reunion is to try and right my wrongs from all the other seasons."
Gwen looked at Courtney, raising an eyebrow. "I have no intentions of being missing in action after this is all said and done. That being said, I'd like to stay in touch with you too."
They smiled at each other. Those smiles were filled with exhaustion and years of anxiety, distrust, and stress disappearing.
"Oh great, two losers are in my primary suntanning location."
Both girls spoke at the same time. "Get lost Heather." Then smiled at each other.
"I really didn't think that was going to work." Gwen's shocked face was evident in the confessional. "Like, I thought it would be Total Drama All Stars all over again, and I'd have to fight for forgiveness. This is cool though."
"I thought it was going to be harder than this." Gwen admitted. "I had an entire monologue prepared in my head. I didn't want to leave all my bridges burnt again, like before."
The brunette smiled. "I get that. Believe me, I do." She paused. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?" Courtney asked.
It felt like the suffocating energy between the two was relieving itself rather quickly.
Gwen laughed a bit awkwardly. "Yes and no. I wanted to ask if we could be cool again a while ago, after I watched All Stars for myself."
"God that season was awful." Courtney shook her head. "So many things went wrong."
The other young adult nodded her head. "Yeah, I tried messaging you on Instagram -."
"Yeah, I deleted the app almost as soon as I got back to my house after I was kicked off. I didn't download it again until recently."
"That would explain it. But I also wanted to ask about you and Trent?"
Courtney looked at Gwen. "What do you mean?" She feigned confusion, wondering if Gwen would pick up on it.
Gwen looked down at her skirt, swinging her legs again. "Well, I know I had reached out to Trent about grabbing lunch and just catching up. I didn't know you two were so close still until a few weeks ago, so I don't want to step on any of your toes."
Former memories re-appeared in Courtney's memory. Ones where she was no longer thinking rationally, where she believed her entire world fell into irreplaceable pieces.
Her attention picked up when Gwen said "still". For some seconds, Courtney completely forgot Gwen had been eliminated at the point where Courtney and Trent were starting to become friends. Trent was trying his very best to avoid any physical interaction with her, and Courtney hated her for her friendship with Duncan. It was one of the core reasons Trent and Courtney even began their friendship. There came a point, though, where they no longer needed their emotions of the same person to stay friends.
Gwen was being extra-cautious around Courtney because she didn't want to repeat history. She was covering her bases, communicating with her. Well, sort-of. Courtney couldn't tell why she was telling her all of this.
So, she laughed a little. "Gwen, do you have a little crush on Trent? Again?"
"What! No, that's definitely not it." Gwen shook her head, caught off guard. Her cheeks told a different story.
"You totally do. Wow." Courtney smiled, then frowned. "Look. You really hurt Trent all those years ago. My personal opinion doesn't mean much because I'm not him. I was pissed off at you back then, but once I got to know Trent better, I got even angrier at you." She sighed. "Looking back, we all got screwed over at some point."
Courtney rested her head on her knee, facing Gwen's direction. "What Trent decides what he wants to do with his life is not my call. I can complain or offer my perspective, but that's really it. I already knew you asked him about getting lunch; he told me about it."
Gwen looked at Courtney confused. "I don't hate you, Gwen. I think, for a while, I was jealous of you. I'm telling you this because I like Trent." She paused, considering her words. "I told him he should hang out with you one-on-one. He wants to catch up with you. If you ask him, he'll say yes."
"Really, you don't mind?" Gwen finally spoke, trying to find words.
Now it was Courtney that looked at Gwen confused. Then, finally, she understood. "Oh god, Gwen!" Courtney facepalmed. "Trent and I are not dating."
"Oh, thank Jesus." Gwen breathed out, her shoulders sinking with relief. "I couldn't tell because I knew you guys were close. And then you went to that award show together and I just immediately thought that."
"Pfft. I could never date Trent. He's too good of a person, and one of my only friends." Courtney smiled. But it was one of those smiles that felt unnatural, like the words were too true for her to acknowledge. "I'm glad we cleared that up."
Gwen chuckled. "You're telling me. The last thing any of us need is drama."
Neither chose to speak for a bit. They both stared out in the ocean.
It felt good Courtney thought to herself. The moment felt reminiscent to World Tour, but different. There wasn't any suppression of feelings, distrust leaking from the back of her mind, suspicion oozing from her words. Everything wasn't completely resolved, but considering how both the girls are, it'll never be mentioned. Courtney assumed she was the only one on a destructive path towards forgiveness. But it seemed she was never really alone.
She was the bad guy. You're always the bad guy still runs circles around her head, painful reminders of her past beating her self-esteem. Gwen apologized to Courtney, but it should've been the other way around. Courtney should've been the first person to make a move, to lay her weapons down and take the damage. She didn't trust her boyfriend due to her own unresolved insecurities.
Courtney never really hated Gwen. When she said she was jealous of her, that was the truth. So, she thought she hated her, instead of expressing her jealously of her looks, her personality, her ability to get what Courtney lost. A couple years ago she told Trent she hated his ex-girlfriend; that was a lie. Of course, Courtney had many opinions of Gwen's actions throughout the series. It didn't matter anymore.
It didn't matter anymore.
Maybe that's the mindset she should have for everything regarding Total Drama. It's all over now.
"My butt hurts from sitting on this stupid uncomfortable wood. I'm gonna take a short walk." Courtney stood up, dusting herself off.
Gwen looked up at Courtney, nodding. "Cool." Then, she pulled out her diary (which Courtney wasn't even aware she still used) and began writing in it.
As Courtney walked off the dock, she turned to her right and saw Heather laying on a towel in the sand in a bikini. Her dark sunglasses were on, so it was difficult to see if she was awake or not. Heather probably had as many friends as Courtney, if not even less.
Courtney kept walking in the direction of the confessional, before stepping in and closing the door behind her.
The former C.I.T crossed her arms, a thoughtful look on her face. "It was a bit unexpected, y'know? But definitely a good step forward for both of us." A smile appeared on her face. "I hope we can finally put everything behind us, for good."
When she stepped out, Duncan was standing on the other side.
"Excuse me -." Courtney attempted to side-step him, but he stood directly in her way.
She gave him a glare. "Duncan, move."
The male put his hands up in defeat. Courtney walked around him; he didn't move.
"Yo, Courtney. If I offended you back in the cafeteria, I didn't mean it."
This made her stop. Courtney turned and looked at him. She crossed her arms. "I think I was shocked you didn't physically push me away, so I fucked up." He continued to speak. Then, he turned around and faced her.
"And that was the first thing you thought of?" She asked, incredulous.
All he did was smile and have this look on his face.
Courtney's face dropped. "You have the brain of a ten-year-old." She deadpanned.
"I know." He smiled.
It reminded Courtney of winter, right after her eighth birthday. Her mom bought her a necklace with a family photo inside of it; that way, wherever Courtney was, her family was with her. Courtney would go on the playground, be at her violin lessons, or just sitting in her bedroom. And she'd pick up her necklace and peek inside and get these warm sparks in her stomach because she knew she was loved.
She smiled at Duncan and shook her head. "You are something else." Then turned around and began walking to her cabin.
The rest of the afternoon moved slowly. When Courtney walked back over to the dock, Gwen was still there. This time, though, she was drawing in her notebook. Head low and hair covering her expression, the brunette apprehensively made her way back over in order to avoid disrupting her thoughts.
"Hey." Courtney greeted, sitting back down.
Gwen looked up and smiled, before moving her hair and taking out an earbud. "Wanna listen?"
Courtney stared at the black chipped nail polish stained on Gwen's fingers first, before looking at the bed. "Sure. What're you listening to?"
"Just a playlist I made." Gwen responded, pulling out her device to restart and shuffle the songs again.
The former C.I.T laid on her stomach, supporting her upper body with her elbows temporarily and placing the earbud in her right ear. Then, she fell into the wooden dock, cushioning her head with her elbows.
"I've spent a while on the stranger of side of your door..." A woman sung. Her voice sounded familiar, like Courtney danced around her childhood bedroom to this voice before. A piano played in the background, in the distance.
She stared back out, into the lake. There wasn't much entertainment on the island, and Courtney didn't bring anything to waste time. The best thing she could do is wander into her thoughts and let the music place her somewhere.
The lyrics continued, and inside Courtney's mind they led her to her bedroom in her apartment. It was the same as when she first moved in after the filming for All Stars finished. She walked up to the mirror in the corner of her room. Her reflection wore a grey vest on top of a white button up shirt, olive capri pants and wedges. Her hair was a bit shorter, cut cleanly at her shoulders. That Courtney was frowning. Her arms were crossed, and she was staring at the current Courtney.
"I'm tired." She announced.
"Tired? Of what?" The current Courtney asked. She wore a grey t-shirt and jean shorts, hair falling over her shoulders.
Old Courtney gave her an up-and-down look. "You look like a slob. And I'm tired of whatever this, Ooh I'm so sad I wish I was a better person persona you're trying to pull. That's not how my parents raised me to be."
The new Courtney sat down. Listened to the words her old self released. As she continued to complain, her aggravation only got louder. All the frustration she compartmentalized unraveled. Her words were hurtful, sharp.
"You are such a loser; no wonder mom and dad don't like you anymore."
"God I can't believe you're trying to apologize to people you don't even care about."
"Are you even listening to me? I am a winner; you are a loser. Just like the rest of them. Especially Duncan and Gwen. I mean, they literally went behind my back and broke my trust, and suddenly you're all buddy-buddy with them? Come-on."
She went on and on and on, picking at anything she could.
"I just wanna talk about it. I know I freaked you out. I just wanna talk about it. Sorry for freakin' out." The familiar voice sang.
The song bled into Courtney's mind, playing inside her constructed world. Her old self stopped talking, and looked up, listening to the lyrics. She uncrossed her arms.
Current Courtney looked up at her reflection, who was standing above her. "It's okay now."
Her reflection stared back at her. Courtney continued speaking. "You can let go now. It's okay."
After she spoke, her reflection fell to her knees and covered her eyes. Her sobs could be heard underneath the melodic piano, continuing to play.
Gwen and Courtney stayed in their positions for another hour and the half, seeing the beginnings of a summer sunset in Canada.
At some point, Courtney turned onto her back and watched the clouds float over her. Even Gwen had finished sketching and was laying on her back too.
"We better go get ready to eat more gruel for dinner." Gwen threw out, sitting up.
Courtney sat up after her, taking out the earbud and wiping it with her hand. "Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks for letting me listen to your music. It wasn't half bad."
Gwen stood up and held her hand out for Courtney to grab and stand up herself. "Wow, a compliment from Courtney. You don't hear those too often."
"You better hold onto it too, not sure when the next one will be." There was a smirk on Courtney's face. The two girls laughed and walked back to the cabins together.
The Gophers' cabin arrived first. Gwen walked towards the stairs. "Hey, Gwen." She turned around while walking up the stairs. "A few of us are hanging out by where we used to have the elimination ceremonies at tonight. You should come by."
The offer was a bit sudden to Gwen, who wasn't expecting any form of kindness after this afternoon with Courtney. She smiled at the brunette. "Yeah sure, I'll come by."
Without another word, she entered her cabin.
Courtney continued walking until she entered her cabin. Inside were the BFFFL's and Bridgette.
Katie and Sadie smiled at Courtney, giggling among themselves and continuing their conversation.
Bridgette was rubbing her eyes, as if she had just woken up from a nap. "Oh, there you are Courtney." She managed to get out before she yawned. With only her white tank top and denim shorts on she climbed down from her bunk and fell into Courtney's. She left enough space for Courtney to sit down and stretch out. "What have you been up to all afternoon?"
"Well, it was an interesting afternoon." Courtney started. "I hung out with Gwen for most of it -."
"Gwen? Like -?" Bridgette cut off, before being cut off by Courtney.
"Yes. That Gwen. We talked for a while and then just hung out on the dock listening to music. It was relaxing, and actually gave me something to do."
Bridgette patted Courtney on her cheek. "I'm glad you guys made up. You two as friends are unstoppable."
Courtney waved her hand away, ignoring the giggles but still smiling. "Yeah, but I didn't eat lunch because of that stupid neanderthal, so I'm starving."
The brunette stared at the wood that was the top of her bunk and the bottom of Bridgette's. "He apologized to me earlier for his stupidity. I ran into him."
"Really?" Bridgette asked, actually intrigued.
Courtney had a small smile. "Well, not for his actual stupidity, unfortunately. He just wasn't thinking straight."
"That sounds about right. But still, who knew he had it in him?" Bridgette commented.
I did. "You're telling me." She agreed. "So, what were you doing all afternoon?"
Bridgette hummed. "Well, Geoff, Deej and I hung out at the amphitheater since we really haven't seen DJ in a hot minute. I thought about catching some waves, but I decided to do that another day. Then I came back here and ended up falling asleep in my bed with Geoff. He must've woken up and left at some point."
"You two are literally the cutest couple to ever exist!" Katie screeched from across the cabin. Sadie quickly agreed.
The blonde laughed in response, thanking the girls. "And yeah, that's been about it. Nothing crazy. Oh!" She sat up quickly. "Our schedules for tomorrow came out. I guess Chef left them underneath everyone's pillows?"
After listening to Bridgette, Courtney lifted her pillow up and a piece of paper was underneath of it. She unfolded it to see her schedule was completely empty with the exception of 10AM-11AM.
"I think everyone is supposed to be together at that time, considering it's the first interview of the day." Bridgette peeked over Courtney's shoulder to see her schedule. "Wow you don't have any other time. Lucky. I have one at noon and at two in the afternoon too."
Katie and Sadie walked over to the duo. "I bet they're having the most dramatic contestants go later in the week." Sadie suggested. "It would like, totally make sense considering Chris likes drama and wants some people to stay longer than others."
Courtney and Bridgette looked at her. "That's a really good point Sadie." Courtney complimented. "I hadn't even thought of that. Ugh, I hate him."
"Don't we all." Katie rolled her eyes.
Bridgette took this time to stand up and stretch her body. "Do you guys think dinner is soon?"
Before anyone could respond, Chris's voice erupted over the speaker. "ATTENTION ALL CAMPERS. HAHAHA. DINNER IS SERVED. COME AND GET IT IF YOU WANNA."
"I was enjoying a nice nap, dreaming I was back at Magic Steve's Magical Magic Camp, and Chris's voice ruined it. GOSH. Someone tell him to be a little more quiet." Harold grumbles in the confessional. "When I woke up, I was expecting all my underwear to be gone or to be tied to a tree outside. But I must have been lucky, because nothing happened."
Again, the Bass girls walked in the cafeteria together, standing in line to get dinner.
Courtney turned behind her to Bridgette. "So, was the lunch better than when we were contestants?" Courtney asked.
The smile Bridgette responded with was not reassuring in any way, and Courtney began to fear for her health over the course of the reunion. DJ was standing in front of her, so it was a bit hard to see what the dinner actually was due to his height.
Once she made it to the front, Chef gave her an up and down look. "I don't remember seeing you eat my lunch, maggot."
Oh god. "Sorry, I didn't have an appetite." Courtney replied, uncomfortable with having any dialogue between the two of them.
He glared at her, before dropping an off-white paste into a bowl and giving it to her. She sighed, walking away and finding a seat at their usual table. Trent was in line too, so when he looked in her direction, she pointed a finger down as an indicator to sit with her. He nodded, smiling.
As everyone began sitting down, Courtney had Trent to her left and Bridgette to her right. They all stared at their 'dinner', waiting for someone to try it first.
"Welp, here goes." Trent made the first move to eat it, picking at it before picking the whole thing up with his fork and taking a bite out of it.
His chews were slow, a bit crunchy(?), and forced. Finally, he swallowed it and sniffed. He looked at the others, giving a thumbs up.
Heather was fuming in the confessional, to say the least. "I'm sorry, but you're telling me the budget for this reunion didn't include edible food? I swear it can't get worse here."
"Hey, where are the guys at?" Courtney asked.
Everyone looked around, also noticing the lack of a delinquent, a cowboy hat, and DJ (who was definitely here about three minutes ago).
"I think Geoff said he wasn't that hungry. Honestly, though, who knows." Bridgette shrugged her shoulders, not worried about her fiancé's disappearance.
Courtney took a small bite of her dinner. "They better not be causing any trouble, especially Duncan."
Trent, Bridgette, Katie and Sadie all looked at Courtney with some form of a smirk. "Because the last thing we need is for the police to take him away, again. Chris will die happy if any extra drama happens during the reunion. I don't know about you guys, but the last thing I want is Chris happy." The brunette quickly continued to speak, noticing the looks of everyone around her.
With a final glance around, everyone went back to working on eating.
Trent sighed in the confessional, shaking his head. There was a glimpse of a smile on his face, though.
The conversations around the table were casual and reminiscent on some of the food challenges the former contestants had to endure. Bridgette shuddered at the time she almost ate meat, and Courtney held the memory of the first food challenge from Island escaping her mind. She did remember the one from All Stars though, which made her shudder and groan.
"I don't think I can eat anymore." Courtney pushed her bowl away.
"I'm right there with ya." Trent agreed, picking up his bowl and everyone else's too. The girls thanked him, and he went to throw the leftovers out.
Katie and Sadie smiled in his general direction. "He is so dreamy. And such a gentleman." Katie smiled, complimenting the musician.
Sadie nodded her head. "Oh, I know right. What an eye candy."
"What're you guys doing tonight?" Courtney asked politely, considering inviting them to the hangout tonight.
The girls squealed. Courtney didn't seem that affected by it this time again, which made her think she was starting to become desensitized to it completely. "We're having a spa night I'm literally so excited."
"Oh wow, that sounds so relaxing. I hope you guys have a good time." Bridgette responded, with a little tint of jealousy in her voice. Courtney couldn't tell if she was being serious or not though.
They nodded their heads and simultaneously stood up. "We should probably start doing that! See you later!" Courtney wasn't sure who started talking, but they both spoke the second sentence at the same time. Courtney and Bridgette waved them off, confused smiles on their faces.
By the time Trent came back, the BFFFL's were already gone. He decided it was best not to ask and stayed standing. "I had to go grab my guitar, so I'll just meet you guys down there."
"Sounds good Trent. See you in a little bit." Courtney and Bridgette got out of their seats as Trent walked off.
Looking at the other table, Courtney walked over to Gwen. She was eating with Cody and LeShawna. Gwen noticed her before she came over, and silently nodded her head. Courtney smiled and nodded back. She then walked over to Bridgette. "Let's get out of here."
Bridgette laughed, and the two started making their way to the fire pit.
When the duo made it to the pit, there was already a fire started, which was shocking (or not, depending on who was asked). A few silhouettes were seated on the logs, but the girls already knew who they were.
Geoff stood up at their appearance, throwing his arms out and hugging the girls. "Babe! Mocha! So glad you could make it!"
As he released them, Courtney raised an eyebrow. "Geoff, have you been drinking?" Courtney asked.
He looked at her wide-eyed. "Is it that obvious?"
Bridgette laughed. And Courtney couldn't help but smile at him. The trio walked over to where DJ and Duncan were sitting.
DJ waved at the new arrivals. Duncan gave them both a glance before looking away and taking a swig of his beer.
"I invited Gwen too, if that's cool?" Courtney asked.
All the guys looked at her as if she had several heads.
Bridgette bent down and grabbed two beers out of the cooler hidden between two logs. She gave one to Courtney, who took it and cracked it open.
"I'm sorry, did you say Gwen?" DJ asked. Duncan seemed to be looking at DJ like he was a mind reader.
Courtney blinked. "Yeah. We're friends. Is that a problem?" She took another sip of her beer.
Geoff wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Not at all! The more the merrier! I miss Gwen, haven't talked to her in forever! I told Owen to bring the party with him since I didn't get to tell everyone to come on down."
Not too long after that, Owen and Cody arrived together. "What's up GUYS!" He yelled, throwing hive fives around. He even gave one to Courtney, who happily returned it with enough enthusiasm to please him. Cody also gave out high gives and handshakes.
The area started to become louder and louder, as more former contestants made their way down to reconnect with each other again. Trent arrived at some point with his guitar as he promised, and people began begging for a concert, to which he agreed upon after a few beers.
Oddly enough, Courtney ended up next to Lindsay at one point in the midst of it all. "Hi Lindsay, how are you?"
The blonde blinked at her, before smiling. "I'm so good! It's so nice to see everyone again, don't you think Courtney?"
"Actually, I do. It's nice to not have any drama or real enemies for once." Courtney agreed, smiling. "Hey Lindsay, I wanted to tell you this for some time, but the way I treated you during the show was really inappropriate and mean, and I hate I like that. Especially to you, since you were always nice."
There was a bit of silence, which was unexpected. When Courtney turned to look at Lindsay, she looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Awwww Courtney! You are totally forgiven!" This forgiveness was topped off with the blonde wrapping her arms around Courtney in a one-sided hug. One that Courtney ended up hugging back. A bit awkwardly, but still the sentiment was there. "You're such a good person. Not even Heather has apologized to me yet. She's the worst!" When the two girls released, Courtney moved some hair to behind her ear and laughed.
"Yeah, she is something else." Courtney looked around. "I'm going to grab another beer; I'll see you around. And thank you!" Courtney waved at Lindsay as she walked away, looking for a trash can to put her empty can in and the cooler to grab a new beer.
Lindsay waved back before walking off, probably to find Tyler or Beth.
Courtney found the cooler before she found the trashcan. She stalked around some more, before finally seeing a black bag closer to the beach.
When she got there, she dropped the empty can in and then opened the new one, listening to it fizz. She looked up at the sky, the mixtures of oranges and yellows for a summer sunset painting the sky.
She didn't hear someone come up from behind. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually missed these sunsets." He spoke, moving and standing next to Courtney.
"You're telling me. Probably one of the only good things about this stupid island." Courtney agreed.
They didn't speak, letting the wave of voices behind them fade.
He started the conversation again. "I didn't realize you and Gwen were friends again."
Courtney smiled. "It's quite a new development in my life, Duncan. New as in earlier this afternoon."
"Do you think it's gonna be weird being friends with your current boyfriend's ex?"
What? "What?" Courtney turned her head to look at Duncan, who was looking out at the lake. "Trent and I aren't dating. I don't know why you would think that."
"You sound like you're being serious." He replied, a bit of a scoff hidden behind his words.
"That's because I am being serious, Duncan." Courtney turned back to look at the lake. She chuckled a bit. "You know, you sound a bit like how I sounded a few years ago."
Duncan's scowl got a bit deeper. "Duncan, have I ever given you a reason to not trust me?" Courtney asked.
This time he looked at her like she grew a second head. "Well -."
"Okay, maybe once or twice." Courtney admitted, twisting a piece of her hair around her finger.
Duncan's scowl turned a bit into a smirk. "You know, you've talked to me twice today. You're starting to sound like you don't hate me anymore."
Courtney drank some more of her beer. She looked out at the lake. "I don't hate you."
The response was immediate. "I don't hate you either."
Suddenly, a wave of anxiety crashed like a waterfall into Courtney's stomach. That, mixed with little butterflies still in their cocoons were moving around too. Maybe she'll blame this on the alcohol.
"Really, you don't hate me. After everything I did to you?" Courtney asked.
He sighed loudly. "You should know better than most Court. I could never really hate you. As much as it pains me."
Another swig of beer. "Yeah, the feeling is mutual."
She turned around and noticed it was a bit quieter. There was some shuffling, and then Trent pulled out his guitar, sitting down. Gwen was sitting next to him.
When she turned back to tell Duncan they should probably get going, he was already looking at her. Their eye contact felt sticky, like it was something she'd never get away from.
"You changed." It wasn't a suggestion.
She gripped her beer can. "You have too. I can actually have a conversation with you without wanting to smash my head against a wall."
He smiled again. "That's the best compliment I can get outta you."
Duncan took a step forward. They weren't that close, but it was recognizable to Courtney. "You were about to say we should go watch Boy Wonder play his music, right? Let's go."
Though she rolled her eyes at his characterization of Trent, she internally agreed and the two walked back to the campfire together.
Courtney stares at the camera in the confessional in silence. It is obvious she is shocked.
i think the chapters i struggle with the most are the ones where i haven't fully developed what i want you guys to get out of it. this, for some time, was one them.
the song lyrics i used are from "Why We Ever" by Hayley Williams (lead singer of paramore). i think it fits the music Gwen would listen to, while simultaneously fitting the scene i wanted to create for Courtney. there are a lot of ways to interpret the song, but i see it as someone in the present, full of internal struggles/demons, apologizing to their past self for the pain of it all (i think that's how i want to word it). i highly recommend listening to it, it is so beautiful. though a small part of the chapter, i consider it a main focal point for this chapter, and the story too.
as always, i didn't really proofread so please have mercy on me for any errors. i thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading.
ps - i've never actually written Gwen before, so i hope i did her justice. and does anyone else see a little gwent in there?