Courtney sat on the wooden, unkept floor of the female Bass cabin. Legs stretched apart, the space in-between them was filled with different concealers, brushes, and other assortments of makeup. A smaller, magnifying mirror sat there as well, currently focused on her eye, which was looking down at all of her options.
The young adult looked up and scanned her surroundings. Eva was nowhere to be found, most likely outside the cabin working out. Bridgette had dragged her feet to the communal to wash her face ten minutes ago, so Courtney could only assume she fell asleep on the toilet (which would not be the first time this happened). That left Katie and Sadie, who were also in the communal, most likely squeezed together with some of the other former contestants trying to share a mirror to perfect their faces for the first official day of filming.
Which led Courtney to be in the cabin alone, soaking in her final moments of silence for the next hour or so. Her sleep was restless and dreamless. Hidden from her best friend of course, who when asked Courtney how she slept replied, "Wasn't my best sleep, but that's how it is when trapped on an island with Chris McLean."
The circles under her eyes told a different story, and so did the continuous lies she told those around her for their perception Courtney was her old self, which told a tale about a strong former-C.I.T who took no one's shit and let nothing distract her from her ultimate goal. At the moment, Courtney's only goal was to get off the island as quickly as possible and without anyone caring.
And she knew it was only the first day of reunion interviews and none of them required her to be alone or with a few selected contestants, but Chris definitely knows how to be ruthless to anyone and everyone at any given moment. And now this thought leads her to a train-wreck of anxious thoughts; Courtney knew it would happen, but not being able to choose a foundation to use on her skin and a lack of sleep could do this to anyone.
So, the sound of the cabin door slamming open made her shoot her head to the right, watching Geoff walk in, rubbing his face with a towel.
"Um, is there something you need Geoff?" Courtney asked politely, and mostly confused.
Taking the cloth away from his face, it was only natural for the partier to wear his usual pink shirt unbuttoned and denim shorts. "Oh hey! What's up Mocha? What're you doing in the boy's cabin on this fine morning?" As per usual, he had a smile.
On cue, Bridgette walked into the cabin. "Good morning, babe. Is there something you need?" She didn't seem surprised, but a lot more awake than she sounded ten-ish minutes ago.
"Oh, hey babe! Are you visiting the guy's cabin too? What's going on?" Geoff turned to face his fiancé, kissing her on the forehead.
Bridgette looked at Courtney, who shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "Geoff, you're not in the boy's cabin." Courtney spoke.
He turned back to look at the girl on the floor, before looking around the cabin.
Before he could speak, an "Excuse me." came from behind Bridgette. When she moved to the side, Eva came in with her weights settled in her hands. She walked past the confused Geoff and Courtney, sat her weights down by her bedside, and cracked her knuckles. Then, finally realizing Geoff in the cabin, she turned and looked at him.
Eva stares at the camera blankly, a frown on her face. "I really hope Bridgette and Geoff weren't trying to have a quickie in the cabin."
Geoff looked around again. "Oh shit. I totally see the problem here."
Bridgette hid her mouth with her hand and Courtney snorted. Even Eva cracked a grin, still unsure of how he ended up in the cabin.
"I'm totally in the wrong cabin, aren't I?" He laughed. "Oops! My bad, that explains the lack of boxers lying around."
Courtney made a face to show her disgust as she continued to do her makeup, applying a bit of blush to her cheeks.
He kissed Bridgette again, this time on her cheek, before turning around and throwing a peace sign up to the other two former Bass women and leaving the cabin. Courtney's best friend finally was able to get to her side of the cabin where her bed was and began changing out of her pajamas and into her typical blue hoodie and shorts.
"I'm just like, so happy we're finally starting the reunion." Beth exclaims, running her fingers through her shoulder-length brunette hair. "Like I'm happy to see Lindsay and Owen again but I really wanna go back home and be with my boyfriend."
Heather sits in the confessional with her arms crossed. "God, I wish we had elimination ceremonies so I could vote off Beth like old times." The Asian-Canadian glares at the camera. "No one cares that you have a pretend-boyfriend at home. For all we know it's a life-sized stuffed doll of her ex-boyfriend. I genuinely don't think she's talked about anything else."
For some reason, Courtney thought about her mom on the walk to the cafeteria with the rest of the Bass girls. She wondered if her first-ever role model would watch the reunion. What would she think of Courtney? Another televised disappointment to add onto the list?
However her mother felt, she would never truly express her feelings directly to Courtney. It would be a simple comment or two, quickly swept under a makeshift rug of dismissive disgust and disappointment. Her father would barely comment at all, seemingly more interested in his work than her failures.
Then again, they haven't cared about her reality television fiascos in a while. The more she thought about it, the more Courtney couldn't decide which feeling was worse: her parents vocalizing their disdain in a monotone tone, or not acknowledging it at all.
Bridgette noted her silence but didn't want to ask with everyone else around.
Most of the other former contestants were already in the cafeteria when the girls arrived, standing in line to receive their breakfast. Like clockwork, Geoff turned and waved at the girls. Duncan turned back to see who Geoff was waving at and turned back around. Despite how quickly he turned back around, he and Courtney made quick eye contact.
That seemed to break Courtney out of her thoughts, as she walked to the back of the line and stood behind Sadie.
"What do you think Chef is serving us today?" Bridgette asked from behind her best friend.
Courtney turned around, crossing her arms and a frown on her face. "Whatever it is, I hope at least the texture is acceptable."
The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Since when has it ever been even slightly decent?"
This made the other young adult smile and roll her eyes. "Probably when it's being made for Chris."
As the line slowly moved forwards, the duo got a glimpse of 'breakfast', which was eggs (why do they have a green tint to them? Courtney asked herself) and potentially pancakes. But as usual, their suspicions only rose.
"Good morning, ladies."
Bridgette and Courtney both turned to their right to see Trent sitting down across from where they were standing. Bridgette politely waved while Courtney vocalized a 'good morning' back to her friend. "Ready for the day to start Trent?" Courtney asked in addition to her greeting.
He quickly shook his head. "Absolutely not."
The three of them laughed and made more small talk until Bridgette and Courtney were moving up the line and too far to continue communicating.
Once they made it to the front, Chef glared at both of them menacingly as he always did before providing them plates with their breakfast and nodding his head as an indication to move.
Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Courtney followed Bridgette to where the rest of the Bass were sitting. Geoff, Katie, and Sadie seemed to be the only ones talking. Harold too, but for the most part he was being ignored by his peers around him.
The brunette and her friend sat at the edge of the table, across from Ezekiel and Tyler. Neither of them was talking, though Tyler was looking longingly across the table where Geoff and DJ were sitting as if he wanted to join in on the conversation.
The food in front of her looked worse up close, Courtney decided. Before she could make any attempt to bite into it, the cafeteria doors dramatically opened and Chris McLean walked in like he owned the place - oh right, he does Courtney thought.
"Good morning and happy first official day of filming everyone! I hope you're ready!" This led to him cackling. "You have about...," He pauses and checks his wrist, where there wasn't a clock sitting on it. "Twenty minutes before you have to make your way to the amphitheater, so I'd better eat breaky really quickly and keep the side chatter to a minimum!" He laughs again. "See ya soon kiddos." Chris gives one of those smiles where his teeth shine, then turns around just as dramatically as he entered and leaves the cafeteria.
Noah sits in silence, staring at the camera.
"I mean, it really can't be that bad right? Like I feel like it's just going to be a montage of our best moments during the seasons and maybe some reactions from us about how w-." Izzy's specific prediction of the first day of interviews gets cut short as Chef opens the confessional and glares at her.
LeShawna sits crossed legged with her hands on her hips. "If Chris makes us do even ONE-" She puts a hand up and lifts her pointer finger, "-and I mean ONE challenge, I am suing on the spot. You cannot make me do anything embarrassing anymore, uh un. Not for any type of money." She puts her hands down and pauses, the angry look gone from her face. "Girl now I'm starting to sound like Courtney all of the sudden."
Twenty minutes later, the contestants stood in a single line waiting to be assigned their seats. Naturally, Courtney found herself between Trent and Bridgette. One by one an intern would call their name and place them in their assigned seat.
In the back of her mind, Courtney knew it would be a longshot for her to be seated even close to Trent or Bridgette, but she was hoping luck would be on her side.
"Bridgette Harrington." The intern called out, and Courtney got a good look at the poor kid. He looked like he could break at any given moment and wore a plain red hoodie and jeans. The blonde walked away from the trio and to her seat, which was in the front row.
The seating arrangements were similar to The Aftermath except there were three rows of seating instead of two. The benches looked uncomfortable and felt like sitting on a bleacher at a baseball game, which really fit the low-budget aesthetic Chris and Chef had planned out for the adult's stay on the island. As more names were called, Courtney watched all the people walk by her or stepped out of line to their place. Cody, Lindsay, and others made their way to their seats, until finally the intern called Courtney's name.
Naturally, luck was not on her side. "You're sitting in-between Gwen and Heather. Best of luck." He whispered the second part of his statement to Courtney, as she made her way to the center aisle. In theory, she was lucky to have been placed next to Gwen now that they were cool again. On the other hand, she would have to deal with Heather's annoying comments throughout the segment. That was incredibly unlucky.
"Hey Gwen." Courtney greeted, ignoring Heather to her left as she sat down and shifted her body to her right.
Gwen waved as Heather rolled her eyes. "What's up Courtney. How'd you sleep last night?"
Courtney jokingly rolled her eyes. "As good as one can when Chris McLean is running the show."
"Ugh, yeah I felt that. I was sure you'd sleep better considering how many beers you had last night." Gwen's voice went into a whisper at the last part, a mischievous smirk on her face.
"I literally only had three, thankyouverymuch." Courtney pouted. "I think."
The two adults began quietly laughing. "'Cuse me ladies." Rang out, and they both looked up at their mutual ex-boyfriend sliding his way past the two and into the empty seat next to Gwen.
Originally, the space next to Gwen gave Cody a great opportunity to look at her (as a friend he would suggest), but Duncan plopping down next to him and blocking the view provided Cody another reason to hate Duncan.
The former delinquent turned to the women on his left. "Gwen, Courtney, always a pleasure."
Gwen gave him a head nod. "Duncan."
Inside Courtney's head, dozens of different thoughts ran through her mind. Then, she realized, maybe she was overthinking it a little bit. Mostly because she wasn't sure how she was supposed to act around him. "Hi Duncan." She quickly greeted, making eye contact with him for the second time today before looking back at Gwen. She rolled her eyes which led Gwen to smirk.
"Girl, I feel you."
Courtney wasn't exactly sure if Gwen did or if she really did. If it was the front or the, oh shit.
She thought about it for another second, before her and Gwen's name being called out from their left. Gwen leaned forward as Courtney turned her head and looked past Heather to see Trent on the former Queen Bee's other side.
He was leaning forward and waving at the women. Lindsay peeked her head out to see who Trent was waving at, and at the sight of the two women she waved as well. The blonde was situated between Heather and Trent, legs crossed and comfortable. Despite her dislike for the Asian-Canadian, it could have been worse.
"For legal reasons, we weren't allowed to put some of the former contestants next to each other." Chris spoke, frowning.
Sitting in the front row, LeShawna turned and smiled at everyone in the middle row except Heather, who noticed a glare in her direction and glared back at LeShawna.
Suddenly, dramatic music began playing and everyone focused their attention up front. On stage there was a brown sofa (that looks really comfortable) and a large, flat-screen TV hanging from the ceiling of the stage. Chris McLean walked from behind the curtains and waved at the seated adults, before standing in front of the sofa.
He had a wicked smile on his face and was easily the most excited person in the area. "Welcome friends, enemies, viewers, and former contestants to our Total Drama Island Reunion special!" Fake clapping mysteriously erupted from around the bleachers and slowly, some of the young adults began clapping too. "We are so very, very excited to have you tuned in for the first day of our special. Before we get started, let's show a montage of all of our favorite moments from your favorite reality stars!"
The television flickered on instantaneously and began a reel of moments, some that have leaked into Courtney's nightmares. She crossed her arms defensively and leaned back a bit. Gwen sighed and leaned forward, holding her head in her hand. Courtney couldn't tell if she was actually watching it or not, but she knew not to turn any more to her right or else she'd be able to see Duncan.
Speaking of, Courtney kept her eyes down whenever she could hear her voice complaining or challenging those around her. Second-hand embarrassment felt like it was oozing off her body and into the collective. For the most part, other than an occasional laugh at a joke Owen made on the TV, the group was silent.
The montage seemed to go on forever. When Courtney glanced up it was showing Izzy and Owen's breakup during World Tour, arguably Courtney's worst season. Based off the voices she tuned in for, Chris was going in order of season. And, when she looked up, she noticed the camera crew surrounding the reality stars, and also blocking their chance of escaping.
Finally, at some point the interminable time spent listening to a mesh of voices finally ended, and Courtney looked up. On her left Heather scoffed, mumbling how "They only used the worst parts of my time." and fixing her hair.
Walking across the stage, Chris smirked and put his hands behind his back. "I hope everyone enjoyed our special montage and walk of memories." He cackled at that. "Let's introduce everyone one more time, in case you all forgot!"
He went in a random order of names, cameras focusing on different people quickly. At Courtney's name, she smiled and waved politely. It felt like a million people were staring at her; a feeling of discomfort hit her stomach and settled at the bottom of it. It may have also been some realization she couldn't back out now at all. When Cody's named was called after her, the smile immediately dropped, and she accidentally let out a sigh of relief.
"Felt that." Gwen commented, picking at her nails.
Courtney sucked her teeth. "I hate this already."
"You could say that again." Even Heather agreed, crossing her arms.
Once the introductions were done, Chris continued speaking. "See! All your favorite people are here and ready to go. Before we start though, let's explain the layout of this reunion!"
Chris went on to explain the three different types of interviews. First were the one-on-ones, which was when it was the former contestant and Chris. To put it simply, it was the scariest one of them all.
"A special interview with me? It really can't get better than that. Our fan favorites will be lucky enough to receive some of these, so any questions our fans have will certainly be asked by myself." Chris pointed at himself and stared at the former contestants. Courtney got a strange chill down her spine, and it felt like he was staring right at her.
Before she could think about it anymore, Chris continued. "Next are the duo interviews! Those are gonna be fun, because it'll be me and two of our contestants. Duncan, Courtney, I'm looking right at you two."
Instinctively, Courtney rolled her eyes. She could hear Duncan do the same, but both were shocked at the lack of response by the other. "Aww, look at the former lovers rolling their eyes at me. So cute." Chris wiped a fake tear away from his eye. "Don't worry Heather, you and LeShawna can catch up too!"
"Thanks, but I'd rather not. I already have to hear her snoring at night." Heather replied, smiling at LeShawna.
LeShawna turned and looked at Heather. "Girl don't even get me started. Just cause the cameras are rolling don't mean I won't beat you down."
That made the girl to Courtney's left roll her eyes. "As if."
"And finally," Chris continued after laughing at the reaction he knew he was going to get, "we will have group interviews, which will have a variety of number of former contestants. Teammates, our dubbed 'villains', anyone really! Again, great opportunities for drama and catching up. To be quite honest though, this is gonna be epic." The host laughed. "So, Noah, how are you feeling about the reunion."
Courtney didn't need to look to know his mannerisms haven't changed one bit. Now that she thought about it, wasn't he seeing someone from a different season?
"Chris, to be quite honest I don't really care." Noah responded, dull as usual.
The host laughed. "Bridgette, how about you?"
Courtney's best friend was seated next to LeShawna in the front row. "I'm happy to be here and see my friends Chris." The blonde smiled.
"And how about," Chris paused, "Eva! End us off on a good note. How you are feeling?"
Sitting in the last row, Eva tapped her chin for a moment. "I feel alright." and left it there.
The host didn't speak for a moment. "And there you have it folks! The contestants are ready to be a part of these uncut, full-length interviews and I'm just as excited to ask these fantastic questions." He laughed, and everyone recognized it as one of his evil laughs. The one where nothing is going to go as well as expected. "We'll see you all in just a couple hours for the first set of interviews. Peace out!"
Everyone held their breath until the producer called "cut!". Immediately, everyone stood up and began making their way to different parts of the island.
"Man, I didn't even get a shoutout." Geoff pouts in the confessional.
Laying in her bunk bed, Courtney could feel time trudging like it was stuck in quicksand. Slow, forceful, something she could understand.
It was hot again. Which Courtney expected, but it was still annoying to deal with, especially with the lack of air conditioning. Her day was essentially over. She didn't have another interview for the rest of the day and that gave her a lot of time to herself. Maybe she'd take an afternoon nap, something she hadn't been able to indulge in for a while.
"Courtney!" The young adult shot up from her bed at her name being called.
Bridgette stood on the other side of the door to the cabin. The brunette could make out her long blonde strands of hair and denim shorts.
"What?" She responded at the same vocal level her friend showed.
"Come to the beach with me!"
Oh yeah, Courtney could go for a swim. "Fine! Let me change."
Pulling her t-shirt over her head, brown hair fell onto her bare shoulders. In her bra and shorts, she pulled her suitcase from underneath her bed and found her classic grey bikini set she was so used to wearing and quickly changed into it before anyone could walk in on her. Courtney pulled a towel, some sunblock, and her sunglasses from her suitcase and, somewhat content, she walked out the cabin.
Bridgette was already settled in the water by the time Courtney made it to the beach. As the best friend floated in the toxic-free water, Courtney placed sunblock on her exposed skin. "Bridgette, don't you have an interview in like twenty minutes?"
There was silence from the other girl. "You forgot, didn't you?" Courtney suggested, not an ounce of shock in her tone.
The blonde jumped out of the water and ran as fast as she could to where her towel was rolled up next to Courtney.
"Do I really only have twenty minutes left to get ready?" Bridgette asked, concerned as she dried herself off and wrung the water out of her hair, quickly styling it into a bun.
Courtney looked around. "I mean there's no clock except in the cafeteria, but I think the introduction thing ended about forty minutes ago. You said yesterday you have another interview at noon and two, right?" She finished putting her sunblock on and placed her hands on her hips as she watched Bridgette gather her belongings from the beach. "Bridge -."
The other young adult cut her off. "I know I know, it's legit day one and I'm already messing my schedule up. I'm sorry for making you come out here just for me to leave."
Courtney chuckled. "It's fine, it wasn't like I had any plans for the day. Might as well get some fresh air and a tan while I'm at it."
Bridgette smiled at her friend and gave her a quick hug. "You're the best Court. I'll see you later!" And she ran off in the direction of the cabins.
After watching her off, Courtney bent down and laid her towel out on the soft sand. Kneeling on the end, she evened it out and fell onto it, placing her sunglasses on her face.
The sound of waves hitting land was enticing and comfortable, yet off. It reminded Courtney of her time on the island in the past. Some nights she would find herself listening to these waves when she couldn't sleep, after another near-death experience or anxiety keeping her up. There was never a real relaxing moment here; her heath was always pumping one beat above her normal heart rate.
To an extent, there was something in the shadows that never gave her an opportunity to be herself. And the one time the leash around her collar was loosened, she ended up eliminated unfairly the next day. When Courtney sat on the beach or the dock at night, the sounds from the forest would keep her on guard. There was never a real explanation for what was hiding there other than the wind, but during All Stars Courtney decided it was probably the version of herself she wanted.
She thought back to her thoughts this morning about wanting to leave. Those were still true, especially after being called out specifically by McLean this morning. It was frightening, to say the least. Though she played it off with an eyeroll, she knew for a fact Gwen and Heather could see her body language significantly change to become more defensive and uninviting. It was almost natural at this point. Or maybe Gwen was focused on Duncan's reaction instead of her own.
C'mon we moved past this rang immediately in her head, and she knew the voice was correct. That was a long time ago, old and unfortunate to even exist. And Courtney knew her first thought was wrong because there weren't any feelings of jealousy or disgust. In her head, it was an opinion shaped into a falsified fact. If anything, she felt guilty for even having the thought. Gwen's changed. They're friends now. Courtney needs to learn to trust her. And it isn't like either one of them are dating Duncan. That thought gave Courtney a different feeling, one she wasn't able to immediately identify.
Courtney sighed and turned around, sitting up and crossing her legs. These aren't the thoughts she wanted or expected to have. But these are the ones that have been ruling her mind for so long. What is she supposed to be thinking about right now?
"Hey Court." A familiar, and comforting voice greeted.
The young adult turned to her right and waved at her favorite musician walking up to her, guitar in hand.
Scooting back to the edge of her beach towel, Trent sat down on the other end and laid his guitar in his lap to avoid getting sand on it. "What's up?" He was wearing a green t-shirt and brown swim trunks.
"Nothing much, just trying to relax. I was here with Bridgette for a total of two minutes before I reminded her that she had a scheduled interview. I may get in the water in a bit, but you're welcome for letting you use my towel."
Trent laughed at the final part of her sentence. "Thank you for letting me use your towel. I wasn't planning on coming down here, but I saw you all alone and figured I could bother you for a bit." He resettled his guitar so it was in a position where he could play it.
She playfully rolled her eyes at him. "Sure but are you positive you don't want to bother someone else. A little bit more, how should I put, gothic?"
The blush and lack of verbal response was absolutely worth it. But, as always, the music that came from Trent's guitar was always so majestic.
Falling onto her back, Courtney put her arms behind her head so she was at an angle where she could still see Trent. He wasn't singing at the moment, just playing an instrumental from his latest album. The added sound allowed Courtney to easily forget her earlier thoughts. Instead, she was able to take-in Trent's natural talent for entertaining.
Slowly, he began humming and closed his eyes, focusing in on how he wanted to sound. Courtney took her eyes off of him and stared above her into the blue sky. With her sunglasses on it was tinted but she could see how clear the sky was.
He continued playing until he finished plucking strings and sighed. He shook his head once Courtney poked her head up to look at him confused. Without questioning, she went back to her position.
Trent began playing again, this time a different song. It went on for about a minute, before he began singing the lyrics to the song.
"I'm falling here, in misery. There's no one near, to see, me calling that I'm here. Watching the cloud, it runs through my...head. Am I allowed to find the words, or will I be too, loud?"
It was slow, soothing. It was also oozing desperation, but not the annoying kind. It was the kind Courtney was familiar to, the one she yearned to run away from when laying in her bed in the middle of winter nights. The ones where the rain was cold, but the room was colder, and blankets don't give any warmth. And every time Courtney looked at the clock it was only two or five minutes that passed by and not the hours she spent lost in her toxic thoughts.
For some time, she didn't speak, staring at the sky. The bottoms of her feet tickled from the sand stuck to them and the air was heavy with humidity. The music was falling into the background, yet she could still hear Trent clearly.
In a way, listening to Trent play made Courtney miss her violin. She can't even remember the last time she picked up her instrument and played. It was sitting in the back of the bedroom closet in her apartment, collecting dust and growing more out of tune by the day. Every time the thought of playing it came into mind, excuses appeared in her mind. Whether it was trying to get more sleep at night (something she knew wasn't going to happen most nights) or spending time on the couch watching television, there was always a reason to not give herself the opportunity to enjoy herself.
And the more she thought about it, when was the last time she did something she enjoyed? Reading a good mystery book, playing her violin, or even studying corporate law? Many of the activities she once used as enjoyment and as an escape Courtney lost pleasure in and completely stopped doin them altogether. She didn't feel like it. In actuality though, she never felt like doing anything, and avoided thinking too hard about it.
Tuning back into her reality, she partially sat up and looked at her friend. Using her elbows to support her body, she kept her sunglasses on. "What's going on Trent?"
"What do you mean?" He asked, almost a bit apprehensively.
She gave Trent a raised eyebrow. "So, you're going to pretend nothing is wrong right now?"
He looked down, lowering his tone. "There isn't anything wrong. I think." He sighed again. "I'm just like, stressing myself out. You know, seeing people I haven't seen or talked to in a long time." Trent looked back up at Courtney, and she immediately understood the context of where this conversation was going.
"I thought we talked about this Trent -." Courtney began to speak, before being quickly cut off.
"We did." Trent interrupted. He shrugged his shoulders, continuing to speak. "We did, but I can't stop thinking about all the stuff I did in the past. I know I wouldn't do it again, but I thought I moved on from thinking I was a freaking psycho."
Courtney softly smiled. "You're reminding me of me Trent." She giggled. "If there is one thing I've learned, feelings are not linear."
He smiled at her. "I guess you're right."
"You really need to stop beating yourself up over the past." Court sat up and patted Trent's knee.
The male musician chuckled and patted Courtney's arm. "You too need to stop beating yourself up over the past."
Using her other hand, Courtney pulled her sunglasses up so they were sitting on top of her head and Trent could clearly see the glare she was directing in his direction.
Instead of responding, he repositioned his guitar back on his lap and began playing a different song off his most recent album. This one was a little bit happier.
"Being interviewed is reminding me of how much fun I had interviewing everyone during the Aftermath episodes." Bridgette commented, squeezed in the confessional with her significant other.
Geoff added on, "Totally babe. Like, we had so much fun together."
Before they could lean in for a kiss, static erupted from the camera.
Cody sits in the camera with a frown. "I was really hoping to enjoy some sunshine and maybe catch a wave or two, but I'm spending like a thousand hours being interviewed today. Luckily Owen will be in one of them, so there's bound to be some comedic relief."
"Thank you for letting me interrupt your time today." Trent stood up over an hour later.
A lot of the time they spent playing a game where Trent came up with song lyrics that had to include random words Courtney chose. After their original conversation, things were lighter and gave them both some laughs.
Holding a hand out, he grabbed onto Courtney's hand and helped her up. Then she bent down and grabbed her belongings. "It's not a problem Trent. It's not like you haven't been doing that for the past few years or so."
"Perfect, glad I can continue to bother you even here." He laughed.
The two began walking back to the cabins together. "Trent, I'm sure you're aware I'm appreciative of your company. I don't get that opportunity too often."
There wasn't a serious tone behind her sentence, but the duo knew how serious the sentiment was. Especially considering her track record with gaining and losing friends.
As they split off in different directions, Courtney finally acknowledged how exhausted she was. Part of it could be from laying in the heat for some long, but she knew there was some sleep she needed to catch up on from the previous night.
The Bass girl cabin was empty when she walked in, and she didn't even give a thought to where anyone else was other than Bridgette (since she should be grabbing a late lunch or getting ready for her second session). She quickly changed into a black tank top and navy-blue shorts and falling into her bed, closing her eyes and falling asleep easier than she had last night.
The cabin door slamming shut woke Courtney up from a dreamless sleep.
"Oh my god Sadie we're supposed to be on a diet." Though her eyes were closed, Courtney could recognize the sound of Katie's voice and even imagine their hand gestures.
Sitting up, Courtney rubbed her eyes and removed the crust that formed in the corners.
"Courtney, we had no idea you were sleeping in here. I am so so sorry!" She could hear Sadie apologizing, and in her mind she knew Katie was nodding her head along to it.
"It's fine don't worry about it." Courtney spoke out, before covering her mouth to yawn.
It probably was a good thing the two woke her up, because if she had slept too much it could mess up her already shabby sleep schedule. It must not be too late in the afternoon yet, because the girls began talking about dinner and what to expect.
Pulling her fingers through her hair, the brunette contemplated on what to do for the rest of the afternoon. She could go back to the beach or the dock, but she wasn't really in the mood. There was the cafeteria, but she wasn't sure who she would encounter in there. Consider she just woke up, Courtney wasn't in a talking mood at the moment either, which ruled that out. Her options were limited, especially because she didn't bring a form of entertainment and she didn't want to interact with anyone. And, with Katie and Sadie in the cabin, their talking would eventually get on Courtney's nerves, and she didn't want to insult or say something she didn't mean.
Changing into a plain grey t-shirt and denim shorts, she politely waved at the best friends and stepped out of the cabin, heading towards the communal bathroom. Beth and Lindsay were both inside, gossiping about something Courtney had no interest in. Despite that, she still waved and said hello. Beth's smile was not one Courtney could see as genuine or meaningful, but Lindsay's was the opposite.
While in the stall, she could make out Beth's "Lindsay why are you being nice to her?" and Lindsay's "Because Courtney is nice now.". She wondered how many of these conversations had happened already and how many were going to continue to occur in the near future. It wasn't a if Courtney was shocked about it, but it still sucked to hear. She guessed she hoped Beth believed Lindsay, so an indirect means of getting out of talking and apologizing to her. It was still uncomfortable to do, despite how well it had (seemingly) gone in the past day.
Courtney came out and washed her hands. She turned and smiled at the girls. "See you guys later."
They both waved, but Beth's wasn't as forced as it was a couple minutes ago.
Courtney stepped outside and began walking into the forest that lived on Wawanakwa. It was almost as if she never left the island the way her brain remembered the different directions to get to different parts of the island. Where McLean's trailer was located, even the quickest way to get to Boney Island. As she walked, though, she wasn't going in either of those directions. Naturally, the ground began to get steeper and the fifteen-minute walk felt more like a hike to escape the island.
There were birds chirping all around her, and Courtney felt increasingly anxious about the decision to walk to the 1000-foot cliff. Part of the reason would be looking down at the water; another part of it was hoping most of the bears and creatures inhabited on the island were nowhere near her right now. The last thing she needed to do was get into a fight with an animal.
Once Courtney made it through the thick trees and into the clearing right before the peak of the cliff, she realized there was something probably worse than getting into a fight with an animal and potentially be caught doing it. That thing, or person, was standing only a few feet away.
His back was to Courtney, but she knew him well enough to know he knew someone was behind him now. Arms crossed, she couldn't tell what he was doing, thinking, or going to say.
There was also the option of simply walking away and pretending she wasn't even here in the first place, but that didn't feel right.
She's only been around him a few times since she arrived for the reunion. Each time added anxiety and she ended up overthinking her movements and her words, just like she was doing right now. Sometimes saying the first thing that comes to one's mind isn't the best advice; Courtney would know. She's said so many terrible things to so many people without thinking.
"Decided to come up here after carving on another tree?" She chose to say, making the first move. Maybe an attempt to gain control on the situation before anything even happens.
He turned around and didn't seem to miss a beat. It was almost like he knew it was her. "Are you ready to jump off the cliff this time?"
Courtney rolled her eyes. "I was never unprepared to do that, I just didn't want to."
"Sure." He still didn't believe her, after all this time. He may be onto something though; Courtney didn't feel like she believed herself either.
The two stood awkwardly. It was uncomfortable. Courtney felt as if she was being read like a children's book; easy, quick. "Well," she decided to say after the pregnant silence, "I'll see you around."
Before she was able to turn around, he called out to her. "Why'd you come up here?"
She looked at him, putting her hands on her hips. "I was just finding somewhere where I could be alone for a little bit. I didn't expect anyone else to be here." Courtney paused. "What about you?"
He spun his head around, cracking his neck in the process. It reminded Courtney of one of his (many) bad habits. It seems some things are hard to stop. "Same reason. Just needed to get away from everyone for a bit. Looks like we had the same place in mind."
"Looks like it. Which is why I'll leave so you can have your alone time." Courtney spoke, repeating her earlier sentiment.
"You don't have to go." Duncan spoke quickly.
He took a half-step forward, then seemed to stop himself. Courtney looked at him, at his face for the first time today. In her mind, he looked confused. Like he wasn't sure exactly what to do.
She stopped moving and faced towards him. "We can be here, like together. I mean, I don't mind." He paused. "Not like together, but here at the same time if that makes sense."
Courtney spoke next. "Ok." That's fine, this will be fine.
Neither really knew what to do next.
The female young adult walked up and past Duncan. Then, she sat down. Behind her, she could hear his movements and he was settling down behind her.
This was not exactly how she was expecting her free time to be. It wasn't like she was trapped here, but in a way she was. The next ten minutes were primarily in silence.
"You grew your hair out." Finally broke the silence. He voice wasn't of realization, but acknowledgement.
Courtney, not really in a specific train of thought, turned her head around. "I never really made it to a salon, so I just let it grow." She smiled at him. "You grew your hair out too and got rid of the green."
He leaned forward. "Do you like it?"
Courtney paused. "I do like it. You look mature."
"I'm sure you always wanted that." Duncan threw out nonchalantly.
"Always wanted what?" She asked, a bit confused.
He paused. "Sorry, I shouldn't have thrown that out."
She pressed on. "No go ahead and say it, Duncan. We're adults."
"Alright alright. You always wanted me to be mature right? That's what I was hinting at."
That made Courtney completely turn around. She had to recognize the distance between them too. If she stretched out, they still wouldn't be touching. "Yeah, I did. What about it?"
Duncan continued. "You had an interesting way of showing it." He stopped. "Anyways, like I said I'm glad you like it."
"And I'm -." Courtney froze, thinking of her next words carefully.
She was treading in unfamiliar waters. In her head, she had certain ways she wanted conversations to go.
He was looking at her, watching her almost carefully. Waiting for her next words, a finished statement, a revelation of sorts.
Courtney breathed in. It's been a long time since she's said anything to this man. "I'm sorry for how I expressed my wants."
At some point she stopped looking at him and stared at the grass that led up to the cliff. The breeze was comfortable, but still left Courtney sticky.
"Are you really?" she heard Duncan ask.
"Why would I apologize and not mean it Duncan?" Courtney questioned, looking at him in disbelief.
He shrugged his shoulders. "You've done it before, I dunno."
This conversation was moving in a direction neither party wanted it to go into. "Ok well I'm sorry Duncan. I have no reason to not tell the truth now." She began to get defensive in her tone. "You're being distrusting of me and I'm not sure why."
"What do you mean you don't know why? You know damn why." He retorted, his voice increasing in intensity.
Courtney rolled her eyes. "If anyone should be mistrusting here it's me and we both know that."
He threw his hand out. "I thought we were past this."
In a way, he's right. Courtney was past this; but the conversation made her thoughtlessly throw it back out into their minds. "You're right, I am past this. I can't tell if you are though, since you brought up the past."
This entire conversation made Courtney feel more exhausted than before she went to sleep earlier in the afternoon. It also made her feel a bit rejected that maybe things wouldn't change.
"I don't know how to fucking talk to you anymore man." He admitted, resting his head and arms on his knee. "But yeah, I started it and didn't stop so I'm sorry too."
They both stayed silent for a moment.
Courtney spoke up again. "You said yesterday you didn't hate me anymore -."
"I said I never did." He cut into his sentence.
She kept going. " - but I can't tell. It feels like you're still holding a grudge on me."
He sighed. "I'm not. Swear to God I'm not. I just - I dunno."
Duncan didn't continue to speak after that.
When Courtney looked at him, she could see the wheels were turning in his head. So, in a way to give him privacy, she turned back around.
"Are you okay?" His voice broke the silence for the second time.
There was a way Courtney could lie to him, a way she had done in the past. She could also tell the truth and be honest, something they both have been doing recently. "I'm fine. Why?" She chose to lie, but she wasn't sure why.
There was some shuffling around behind her. "Because," he sounded closer, "because you sound defeated every time I talk to you. And you won't fight back. And you look tired." He finished, and Courtney could detect some concern in his voice. "What have you been telling yourself over the past year? I know you haven't been all over social media or in headlines."
"Neither have you." Courtney retorted. "What have you been doing? Hopefully nothing illegal, right?" She wished she hadn't added the right at the end, because she could even hear the concern in that word.
They heard that word so much while they were together.
You love me, right? You'll be okay, right? You'd never do that, right? Runs circles around Courtney's head.
"Right." He agreed.
She had to pretend she didn't hear how well Duncan was still able to read her. It was bitter; she wasn't sure how to feel about it, so the best thing to do was to feel nothing at all. And she wanted to feel something, wanted to feel the emotions she craved for in the back of her mind. But she's felt so much for so long maybe slipping backwards would be fine.
But she knew her friends wouldn't allow it. They're both so positive, so caring. And they remind her of why she came here in the first place. This isn't where Courtney is supposed to fall back into Courtney during filming or Courtney after filming. This is someone a little different. That's what she's telling herself.
The what have you been telling yourself kept running circles around Courtney's head. Because he knew her too well. He knows how hard she is on herself and how sickening the words she uses will be towards everyone, herself included. Duncan really cared about her, and for some reason she can't read him the same way he can read her. If she could have any superpower, she would be a mind-reader.
"Will you be able to forgive me?" She ended up asking, choosing not to open the door on his personal life.
Duncan runs his hands throw his hair. Courtney didn't know for sure, but she knew him enough. "I did already. I don't know what happened a few minutes ago, but you're forgiven. I swear."
Courtney didn't know if she really believed him. But she wanted to. Because he could have had his defenses up and given one worded answers and they could've been in the middle of an argument and Courtney could've stormed off. She didn't want to, though. Because he's been open and talking to her and they may not be making a lot of eye contact, but this could have been so much worse.
She wanted to cry. Courtney didn't know why but she really wanted to let tears fall down her face like a slow rain. "Okay. You sound tired too though."
Standing up, Courtney turned around and looked at him.
And he was giving her this look.
When she swallowed, it felt like gum was stuck in her throat, so she sighed and quickly clenched and unclenched her hands. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm gonna go back down now and see Bridge. I'll see you at dinner."
"See ya P-Courtney." He spoke one more time, standing up as she spoke and putting his hands in his pockets.
They walked past each other; Courtney walking away from the cliff, Duncan walking closer to it. Before she exited the clearing, she turned and look behind her one more time. Duncan was standing at the edge of the cliff, hands in his pockets, facing away from her.
Duncan was sitting in the confessional. Wordlessly, he rubbed his hands over his face and groaned.
Once she made it back to the Bass cabin, she stood outside and took a long, deep breath. She wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to Bridgette about what she was doing and who she was talking to yet. Maybe another day.
When she stepped in, Bridgette was laying on the top bunk listening to music. At the door shutting, though, she peeked up and brightened at her friend's appearance.
"Court!" She greeted excitedly.
Courtney genuinely smiled at her best friend. "Hi Bridgette. How were the interviews?"
Bridgette groaned. "Awful. I hate Chris with a passion."
The brunette couldn't help but laugh. "I mean at this point who doesn't?"
"Right?" Bridgette agreed. "Where have you been?"
Courtney sat on her bed. "I was here napping and then took a walk to the cliff. Just needed some me time to relax y'know."
"Oh, I know. I wish I wasn't so afraid of forest so I can take walks through them. Thank goodness for the beach or else I'd have no idea what to do with myself." Bridgette responded, leaning over her bed to see Courtney. "Speaking of, let's recreate our attempted beach date soon. I suck, I'm so sorry I had to ditch."
"Bridge seriously it's fine. Trent ended up there anyways, so I had some company." Courtney waved her off, kicking her sneakers off and lying in bed. "Maybe tomorrow if our days aren't super crazy. We have some time left, don't worry."
Bridgette looked at her, almost like she was examining a specimen. Then, she flipped back up onto her bed and Courtney guessed she put her headphones back in. "You're totally right, we have tomorrow."
Courtney spent the rest of the afternoon staring at the wood that supported Bridgette's bed and daydreaming. Before she knew it, she was walking into the communal bathroom and into the stall, where she sat on the toilet and silently let tears fall on her face for about ten minutes. There was this hollow feeling that was reminiscent of how she felt after World Tour sitting in her chest. After wiping her tears, went back to the cabin and laid on her side.
All she could think about was what she had been telling herself for the past year. And why Duncan knew already.
with the thanksgiving holiday coming up, I decided I am so very grateful to everyone that reads this story that I would get a new chapter out! Hahaha kidding, but I found some time for an update and hope you all enjoy it!
also fun news! a good friend informed me that some creators are dedicating december 14th-20th as duncney week and will be producing some amazing content for the fandom. i will be (hopefully) writing a one-shot for that week, so please if you have the time do so too it'll be very fun!
as per usual, i don't properly proofread so ignore the little things. if you liked this chapter (or the story) feel free to leave a review. but maybe the follow/favorite buttons are more your style. but as you all know i am so grateful for your continuous support. i love when people find this story and read this story.
thank you always :) please stay safe, healthy, and if you celebrate thanksgiving, happy thanksgiving! if you don't i hope you eat yummy food anyways and are able to spend time with those you love.
see you all next time. xxx
ps - i'm so sorry if you received three emails if this is on your follow list. i forgot a word once, then forgot to rename the chapter a second time, so third time is the charm :)