"I am exhausted." Duncan speaks, running his right hand through his dark hair. "I couldn't fall asleep for awhile and now I have these stupid interviews today. I wonder who else will be there." The former delinquent looks like he's thinking to himself, before looking at the camera and smirking. "Not."
The alarm of Chris running off the events for today woke Courtney up from the sleep she was trying to catch up on. As tired as she was last night, it still took some time for her to fall asleep.
Sitting up and moving her body to face the opposite wall, she yawned and stretched her arms outward. Again, the cabin was silent. There were no snores or sleep-talking. The waterfall of blonde hair she was so used to seeing cascading from above wasn't in its usual place. Once she stood up, she noticed she was the only one there.
It couldn't have been past nine in the morning; at least, that's what her former C.I.T's training skills wanted to say at the position of the sun. But, it was a cloudy day and she couldn't see the sun at all. The back of her mind hoped it wasn't a bad omen for the interviews she had.
At the thoughts of negativity, Courtney pushed them into a corner in her mind where she locked a lot of things. They would be dealt with later. Maybe tonight, maybe next week. But at least for now, she wanted to start off on the right foot.
Grabbing her toothbrush and washcloth, she slid on the pale pink slippers she brought and stretched again, before making her way to the communal.
"Aw look, the Princess finally arose!" She heard on her way to the communal.
Before she could retaliate, someone else responded. "Ooh girl, you always tryna bring trouble for no reason! Damn, shut up."
Silently thanking LeShawna for her efforts, Courtney continued walking to the bathroom before she ended up caught in the middle of their argument.
Lindsay was in the process of putting on her makeup when Courtney walked in, using the mirror in the middle. Courtney began to greet her before a toilet flushed and Izzy came out of it.
"Oh, good morning Lindsay, Izzy." Courtney greeted, before dropping her stuff at the mirror closest to the door and finally giving herself a quick glance in the mirror. "God I need caffeine."
Izzy slapped an unwashed hand onto Courtney's back. "Top of the morning to ya, brunette! Y'know, sometimes when I'm camping to avoid jury duty, I think about that time during the Special where we fought for the cool million bucks." One of her iconic (not sinister) up-to-no-good laughs came out. "We should totally do that again soon! I love a good thrill."
The red-head quickly splashes her hands with water, cackling to herself (potentially at the memory) and then leaving the communal.
Quickly, Courtney spins at an angle where she can kind of see her back to make sure Izzy didn't leave any marks on her shirt. At the pleasant sight of nothing, she turns the water on and washes her hands thoroughly before picking up her toothbrush and beginning to brush her teeth.
It isn't long before Lindsay giggles and finishes applying her mascara. "Izzy is so funny."
The delayed response makes the brunette pause for a second, trying to calculate the time difference between Lindsay's comment and Izzy's departure. In her mind, she decides it's probably for the best she doesn't think about it too much and continues her hygiene routine.
"And good morning Courtney! Sorry, I was totally putting on my mascara and didn't want to mess up." Lindsay continues her poorly-timed responses. The blonde looks at Courtney continuing to brush her teeth. "Do you want to use some of my stuff to help with your face today?"
A quick second flashes before she continues. "Not that you look bad! You totally look fine by the way. But I love using makeup."
Courtney spits the paste into the sink. "No you're fine. I know I look an absolute wreck. I stayed up late last night."
Only a few seconds pass before she hears the click clacking of Lindsay's boots coming closer. "Late? Doing what?" She rested her elbow on the communal sink, intrigued.
She watched Courtney's facial reactions, which included her looking up and "uhhh"-ing for a bit before spitting out more toothpaste and wiping her mouth. "I couldn't sleep so I just went outside for a bit!"
In her mind, she knew looking at Lindsay was a bad, bad idea. She was familiar to her unique powers to get the gossip-like truth out of someone. It was similar to what Bridgette did to her.
"Alone?" Lindsay asked.
Courtney stuttered. "Well-."
Her eyes brightened. "OMG, no way. With who?"
The brunette started scrubbing her face quickly with her washcloth in a way to prolong her answer.
Then she could hear the girl gasp. "No way!"
There was no reason to question the young adult. They both knew who, and this was definitely not the space for this conversation.
"Nice chatting with you Lindsay!" Courtney spoke, ringing out her washcloth and picking all of her stuff up. "I'll see you later!" And sprinted out before Lindsay could get another word in.
Courtney is sitting in the confessional, hands over her face and groaning. "How does she do it."
"I went for a nice walk this morning and played with some of the animals." DJ gushes in the confessional. A bird is perched on his shoulder. "I made some more furry friends, so hopefully they remember me after I leave here."
Back in the cabin, Courtney spots a female figure in the back corner, picking something off of the floor. When she stands up, it's Eva grabbing her dumbbells.
"Good morning Eva. Getting in your first workout of the day?" Courtney greeted politely.
The gym rat turned and nodded at Courtney. "Hey. Yeah I have some of those stupid interviews today so I don't have as much time as I normally would." She watched Eva hold onto her equipment tighter. "I hate Chris more than anything else on this planet."
Putting her toiletries back and pulling out her clothes for the day, she nodded her head. "Trust me, I understand exactly how you feel."
As Eva stepped out of the cabin, Courtney wondered how many interviews there were going to be today. She hadn't gotten an opportunity to talk to Bridgette since yesterday. They never swapped interview timecards though, so maybe she didn't have any today?
She had two today. One in about an hour, and then another one later on in the early afternoon. But, Chris didn't reveal on the cards what the "theme" of the interview would be. Courtney assumed once she walked over and saw who else was sitting around she could figure it out. One thing about Chris is that he is not original by any means.
Touching her stomach, Courtney gathered she wasn't hungry enough to go grab breakfast and would rather wait for lunch in-between interviews. Plus, she figured a lot of people were in the cafeteria, and it was giving her some anxiety.
Courtney knew what it was like to be stared at with differing emotions. Hell, it was something she had experienced for most of her life - a child that adults easily recognized as the Otero daughter. One people came to respect, even if they didn't want to.
Right now, though, it was different. She was in a vulnerable spot. It wouldn't be something she'd ever admit to her friends, but in her mind Courtney knew exactly where she was. Her conversation with Trent yesterday reminded her of this revelation. It seems everyday there's a different set of words that replay over-and-over in her head. For once, this time it was her own. A reminder that her feelings are not a straight line.
Everyday, for the most part, has been a better day than the one before that. But that doesn't mean everyday will be like that. Those are some of the days Courtney is most afraid of. For when she leaves here alone, and goes back to her apartment. She'll wake up alone, and fall asleep alone, and be left alone with her thoughts, trying to figure out her next move in life. In a place attached to her draining thoughts, on a couch full of tears and pulled out hairs and quiet responses.
But she will pull through. One day she hopes to believe the words of positive affirmation she tells herself. It's scary to not be able to plan every second of her life like she used to be able to. Leaving it all in the hands of some higher being Courtney wasn't sure she believed in. At this point, though, it's all she can do at this very moment.
These thoughts carried her outside, to sit on the cabin stairs in the humidity of another day at Camp Wawanakwa. She could feel her olive t-shirt begin to stick to her skin. Her jean shorts protected her from the wood she sat on.
It was hard to people-watch on the campground. Courtney was so lost in her thoughts it didn't really matter. Last night replayed in her mind.
The events that followed her throughout the night were unexpected to say the least. At one point, she questioned her own sense of self. There just isn't any fire anymore; of course there isn't. That part of her shouldn't exist anymore. It was a nuisance and a fight-starter and the reason she's currently around trying to pick up the five-year-old pieces and hope a finished puzzle is at the end of it all.
Then emerged a flicker of frustration, a feeling she had pretended not to have anymore.
There was always some form of frustration with Courtney. Whether it was during filming and everyone around her was annoying her to the point she hit her breaking point, or after the show's final episode aired and she laid in her bedroom frustrated at herself. Quite honestly, her frustration was towards herself for most of her teenaged years. She projected it onto others and pointed out their flaws as her way of exiling the guilt.
Somewhere, deep in the back of her mind, she knew the old her still existed. The stereotypical personality people grew to love and hate was there. It was just locked away. Maybe until she could figure out how to be herself for the first time - the good and the bad.
"Hey Courtney." She heard a voice call out to her.
Looking up, she grinned at the goth passerby. "Good morning Gwen. How'd you sleep?"
Wearing a black tank top and her go-to skirt, Gwen stood a few feet away. "Like shit. What's new?"
She let out a small laugh and the brunette couldn't help but laugh too, standing up and walking towards Gwen. "Same here. I do not miss these beds at all." As she got closer she remembered how close in height the two were. Courtney (with her wedges on) was only about an inch or two taller than Gwen (with her boots on). Now, they were more eye-to-eye. "Going somewhere?" Courtney tagged on.
Courtney couldn't help but smile at Gwen's eyeroll. "Yeah, I have this interview in like ten minutes at the Amphitheater. Makes me regret coming back."
There was a small pit in her stomach. "Is that the interview at eleven, by chance?"
The two looked at each other. Then this odd, dreaded feeling came.
"You don't think..." Gwen started, sighing at the end of her unfinished sentence.
The two began walking in that direction. "I feel like it's so early in the interview process?" Courtney continued. "You know, Chris would save something like that for the very end, right?"
"Yeah you're right." The other young adult didn't even sound anxious, just more annoyed. "He's sick like that. And craves drama more than anything. He'd get all the interviews he would think were boring out of the way first."
They were getting closer to the theater, and Courtney couldn't help but cross her arms. "I guess we'll have to wait and see who else shows up, if anyone else shows up." She was trying to best to hide her anxiety by continuing to speak. "Maybe I should start thinking of my answers now."
Gwen raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. "You know trying to get into the head of Chris will probably land you in the psych ward."
There were a few seconds of silence before Courtney's arms dropped and she replied, "I know but I'm trying my best here."
She began to giggle, which made Gwen shake her head and laugh a little bit too.
When they made it to the Amphitheater, there were six blue-cushioned chairs that formed a circle. There were cameras set up around them. There were a few interns walking around, checking each camera to make sure it was ready to film. Sitting in one of the seats was Heather, who was filing her nails.
At the sight of her both Gwen and Courtney breathed a sigh of relief.
They walked closer, and Heather looked up at them and rolled her eyes.
"Oh great, you two are here." She commented, making sure to be loud enough so they could hear her.
Despite Heather calming their nerves (not that she would ever know), they still disliked her presence.
Courtney decided to leave a seat between herself and Heather, trying to put her peace of mind in front of dealing with her sneaky comments. Gwen sat to Courtney's right.
"Any guesses to what this interview will be about?" Gwen asked, facing Courtney.
"It's so obvious." Heather interjected, crossing her arms.
She hated to admit it, but Heather was right. As soon as Courtney saw Heather, it clicked in her mind. It also made sense as to why there was at least one empty chair. There was a second one for a former contestant she was struggling to figure out.
Gwen glared at Heather, choosing not to respond in case the cameras were rolling.
Courtney crossed her legs. "It's the villains, Gwen."
This almost felt reminiscent to All Stars, when Gwen was confused as to her placement on the Vultures. That was some time ago, and Courtney won't let that train of conscious get the best of her.
Her friend leans back, crossing her arms. "Of course."
Someone walking caught everyone's attention and they turned to see who else was joining them. Courtney blinked, confused.
"Hey Courtney." Eva greeted, walking and sitting in the seat in-between her and the former queen bee.
Courtney gave a small wave. "Hi Eva. I can't lie, I wasn't expecting you to be here."
The fitness queen looked at the other contestants and shrugged her shoulders. "It is what it is. Though this looks like an interview for who's the most popular."
Heather leaned into her chair, rotating her head and making her hair fall back behind her shoulder. "I promise you, it's for sure not a popularity contest. If it was, I'd be the only one here."
"Heather give it up already. No one cares." Gwen rolled her eyes.
"Uh, obviously someone does if I'm sitting here. Unfortunately with you." The Asian-Canadian replied, like it it was the most obvious thing in the world.
The sinister laughter everyone was traumatized by cut off the exchange of words, and everyone turns towards the stage to see Chris walking in their direction.
Wearing his signature look, a blue button up shirt and khaki pants, he plops himself into the chair on Heather's left. "What's up kiddos? Thanks for putting on a nice show right before we started officially filming here." In his hands were a small stack of index cards.
"It only makes sense the worst villain of them all is here to ask the questions." Gwen greeted the host, getting a smile from Courtney and even from Heather.
Chris waved her off. "Now, now Gwenie. Don't be like that. It's very nice to be in an intimate setting with all of you."
This made Gwen frown, and she didn't respond to the nickname.
"My bad." Came from the final former-contestant for the interview. He quickly slid into the chair between Gwen and Chris and looked around in the circle. "Looks like we got a party here."
Courtney looked at Chris, as a means to avoid eye-contact and to telepathically show her disdain for this interview segment.
"Duncan, my man. Glad you could make it with a single minute to spare." Chris greeted.
Chris looked across the group and above Eva's head to see an intern counting down from ten.
There was a weird tension in the air, one that Courtney assumed everyone except Chris felt.
"What's going on everyone!" The devil started, throwing his hands up and giving the camera a big smile. "I'm Chris McLean, but you already knew that. Welcome to another day of our Total. Drama. Reunion Special! Today, we'll be kicking off with our original and infamous villains of the series! Say hello to our five drama-starters! The Queen Bee of the show, Heather!"
The black-haired beauty flipped her hand with her hand and smirked at the camera.
"The hot-headed Gym Rat, Eva!"
She glared at the camera, and then immediately glared at Chris.
"Speaking of hot-headed, our psychotic Type-A, Courtney!"
Courtney sent a quick glare Chris. Quickly, she looked at the camera and waved politely. It was the only thing she knew how to do.
"Then we have our Boyfriend Stealer, Gwen!"
She wasn't sure what face she made, but Courtney knew she made one. She felt a bit more relaxed at Gwen's "Oh give it up already McLean.".
"And finally, our least-favorite Felon, Duncan!"
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Duncan cross his arms. "Whatever man."
Chris laughed. "Don't you worry Duncan. I have the prison warden on speed dial, just in case you decide to have any grand ideas. But let's get started with the questioning!"
There was a weird feeling in Courtney's stomach. Like she wasn't sure if this was going to go pretty well or pretty bad. Probably the later.
McLean looked across the group. "So Eva, what was it like being the least memorable villain of like, all time?"
The young adult raised her eyebrow. "What?"
"I mean," Chris continued, "Even on Gwen's bad days she was still memorable than you were. You saw what she did to Trent back in Action."
The girl to Courtney's right threw her hands up. "What do I have to do with this? And how does what I did to Trent make me a bad guy?"
"Aht, aht." Chris stopped her. "I'm the one asking the questions here."
"First off, I wasn't trying to be a villain." Eva pointed a finger at Chris. "I was trying to win the hundred thousand bucks. I was the strongest person on the Island, and was planning to use that to my advantage."
Heather interrupted. "Unfortunately you didn't have enough going on up here," She pointed to her head, "For you to be a true competitor."
She then turned to Chris. "What is she even doing here Chris? We all know she's not a villain. She's just a girl with a temper."
"You're going to stop talking about me like I'm not here and calling me names before you regret it." Eva growled, attempting to control herself. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. "At least I didn't have to go bald in front of millions of people and be laughed at." She mumbled underneath her breath.
Courtney didn't want to smile, but it made an appearance. She looked at Gwen who laughed aloud. Looking past her, even Duncan had a smirk on his face.
"All my hair grew back anyways, so who cares." Heather ran her fingers through her hair as a reminder.
"To answer your question Chris. I don't care about being memorable. I only cared about winning the money. Not like I got any opportunities to do so after the first season." Eva replied to the question.
Courtney finally spoke for the first time. "Trust me, you didn't want to go back on after the first season."
"Preach." Gwen agreed.
"Yeah, coming back for three more seasons was not my best move." Duncan added on.
While she had some time to think (which was only a few seconds), Courtney wondered what life would've been like had she never won her lawsuit against Chris. If she stayed with Bridgette, Trent, and all the other losers.
Chris clapped. "Well, despite how you feel, the fans are so happy you came back. And myself, because you've made me a hell of a lot richer."
"My biggest regret in life." Gwen cut him off to say.
"But Eva, you're surrounded by fan favorites." Chris started up again. "Doesn't that make you at least a little annoyed that you'll never amount to the fame they have?"
Eva crossed her arms. "Look McLean, I didn't care then. I don't care now. I don't need fame, I just need a bench press and some dumbbells and I'm set. If there was anything I could change, I wish I wouldn't have been held back when I found out how much of a snake Heather was. I would've beaten her to pieces."
"And I would've sued you and filed a report for assault." Heather quickly retaliated.
Chris re-arranged some of the cards in his hands. "So Duncan, you originally were just a simple bad boy with a soft heart. Over time though, you were a bully, conniving, and even a cheater! Worst of all, you blew up my cottage! Despite being a villain, fans still loved you. How did it feel destroying my property and the hearts of two lovely ladies during your time here?"
"Will you get over the cottage thing? I did my time." Courtney couldn't help but look at Duncan when he spoke. He was looking at the sky. "I feel bad about all the other shit I did than what I did to your crib." He paused. "Maybe except messing with Harold. He deserved it."
Some things never change. Almost instinctively, Courtney shook her head. A small smile on her face.
Chris let out a chuckle. "Wait a second. Duncan. Feeling remorse? Who would have ever thought! Not me."
The former delinquent crossed his arms. "Look, I have feelings. Not excusing myself, but I wasn't thinking at eighteen."
Hearing Duncan talk about having feelings took Courtney back to the second season, after she gave him the contract. She couldn't really remember it now, but she wondered if he said something similar to that and she blatantly ignored him for -.
"Courtney!" She looked up at Chris, tuning out his voice. Her eyes were a bit wider than normal, adjusting to the new reality of her turn being next. "How do you feel about being the most annoying villain?"
She could feel her shoulders drop a little. "Well, not good obviously."
He stared at her, waiting for Courtney to continue speaking.
In retaliation, Courtney crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Oh," Chris started, "I think you felt a little bit worse than 'not good'. At least, that's what a little birdie told me."
She could feel blood rushing to her face. "What are you talking about, Chris?"
"Well, the world wants to hear all about you rotting away wordlessly in your little apartment. According to one of your neighbors, they heard lots and lots of - ."
Someone spoke up. "Hey man, she said not good. Leave it at that and move on." Courtney turned and looked at Duncan, who was staring at her.
Heather's voice followed. "No no. I wanna hear some more of this. Carry on, Courtney."
The sweat on Courtney's hands made her legs feel gross. She wanted to take a shower.
"Shut it Heather." Gwen glared at her. "I can't wait to hear about all you and Alejandro later on." She said, a bit snarky.
That made the former queen bee ball her hands into fists. "Mind your business, Gwen. You don't know anything."
A knowing smirk appeared on Gwen's face. "You sure about that? Cause Sierra posted all about it, so I can't wait to hear your side of the story."
"Gwen! You're in such a talkative mood, tell us about what it felt like being the unexpected villain of World Tour? I think a lot of people saw it coming, but not in the way it played out." Chris hopped in the conversation, a smile on his face at the unscripted jabs.
The dark-haired young adult sighed. "It was really bad on my end. I didn't even mean it to happen. But I wasn't the only guilty party. Plus, it's all in the past."
Chris nodded, pretending to be understanding. "Courtney, do you agree?"
The brunette uncrossed her arms and re-crossed her legs. These seats aren't very comfortable she thought. "I do. There was a lot going on behind the cameras people didn't see, and it wasn't like Duncan and I were picture perfect. I think we were all wrong in different ways. And like Gwen said, it's all in the past. At least, I've forgiven them both."
But not myself.
"Ditto." Duncan added on. "It was all a hot ass mess. We're all past it now."
"But Duncan!" Chris started. "Do you know how badly you left Courtney after all this. I had so many fans asking me to send a search party for her. She may have acted all fine and angry and dandy in All Stars, but I promise you that was not the case."
Duncan spun his head to look at Courtney, who was glaring at Chris. "Chris, that's simply not true. Stop correlating my actions to what Duncan did. I was hurt, yes, but that wasn't why I left the media's eyes." She looked away. "Please stop spreading misinformation."
"Oh what, are you gonna sue him and lose again?" Heather butted in.
All this interview was doing was making Courtney more annoyed by the second. "Heather, come up with some new material. And grow up while you're at it."
Even Eva was in agreement, nodding her head while Courtney spoke. "She's such a baby."
"Right?" Gwen added on, throwing her hands out. "She's the worst."
Chris laughed. "She totally is. That's why she's my least favorite."
Heather looked to her left at the host. "Are you even allowed to have an opinion? It doesn't matter." She crossed her legs.
"Still feeling yourself after being the original antagonist of Total Drama?" Chris asked, leaning in to her hear answer.
The Asian-Canadian rolled her eyes. "Of course, no one else was doing it like me. If it wasn't for that stupid goth girl, I would've had the money in the first season." She made a face. "It's kind of sad you could never find anyone to challenge me, Chris. Being a mean girl all the time sucks."
Courtney wasn't particularly listening to most of what Heather was speaking about, but her last statement caught her attention. For (maybe) one of the first times in her life, it sounded like there was some sincerity coming out.
"Uh, Mal would like a word." Duncan responded to Heather. "He could destroy you without even trying to."
Heather didn't respond. Courtney assumed everyone was wondering who would win in a manipulation competition between the two. To be honest, she had her money on Mal. Once you recognized Heather's manipulative nature, it was hard to trust her again. Mal was more in secrecy, and hiding behind Mike. And, shockingly enough, Heather never really did anything bad enough worth mentioning except cutting a piece of her hair off.
Chris cleared his throat. "We're only going to talk about the people that are here now. Like Courtney! Can you talk about the contract you forced your boyfriend at the time to sign? What was that all about!"
Courtney sighed, a pit in her stomach from thinking about it. "That was an awful decision on my part. I honestly thought I was doing you good, but obviously not." She let out a dry laugh. "I kind of realized my mistake when I was talking to Gwen a few days before we found Duncan in London. She looked so confused at the description of it, and in the back of my head I was like wow I sound kind of stupid. But it made sense to me. I sort of forgot why I liked Duncan in the first place, as much as I hate to admit it."
Gwen pitifully smiled at Courtney. "It was crazy."
"I know right." Courtney shook her head. "I think the other thing was like, I was so scared of you and Duncan's relationship I wanted something physical that proved 'back off! he's mine!'. Definitely not the way to go about it."
"I thought you were a freakin' psycho when I heard about that." Eva mentioned. "Like, need to be put away like Chris crazy. You seem pretty mellow now, though."
The brunette nodded her head. "I really should have been. I was acting on an extreme part of my personality." She paused at what she interpreted as a compliment. "Thank you Eva. I won't lie, though, I'm about two insults away from saying some pretty mean things to Chris."
Duncan laughed from his chair. "At this point, who isn't? I'm right behind ya." He then turned to his left to look at the host. "Yo Chris, how much longer we got? I wanna take a nap."
"Yeah seriously. I have more important things to do today compared to just sitting around waiting for your stupid questions." Gwen agreed, looking at all the cameras.
Heather sucked her teeth. "I hate to agree with those two losers, but I really want to work on my tan. Can we get a move on?"
Duncan chuckled. "Unlike you Sweetheart, I actually am a winner. My bank account can prove that."
"Whatever. You won on a fluke and beat Beth, like that's any competition." Heather replied.
Chris continued to sit in his seat, his laugh interrupting everyone. "Alright, alright. I totally understand. I've just got two more questions for all of you. Except maybe Eva, I'm not sure you've had enough screen-time to answer these."
For a quick second, to Courtney it sounded like a growl came from Eva. She was glaring at him vehemently.
"But I would love to go around the circle, just like a campfire, and everyone share out your favorite and least favorite moments from your most villainous seasons." He cackled. "I'm super stoked to hear these. Heather, you can go ahead and start us off."
Heather tapped her chin, seemingly thinking hard about the prompts. "Hmm. I would say my favorite moment was - well, there are just so many!" She placed her hands on her leg. "Maybe reading Gwen's diary, that was super fun. Or watching Beth get eliminated after betraying me." Then she has a disgusted look on her face. "My least favorite moment was meeting Alejandro."
It was a short, strictly emotionless statement. Her face wasn't hiding the anger she had towards him. Courtney wasn't sure what had happened between them, but it seemed like she understood. Even if it was Heather, she has feelings like everyone else.
Next was Eva, who still had her natural stoic look. "I don't have a best moment. Why would I feel good about doing anything bad." She raised an eyebrow at Chris. "My worst moment was being mean to Bridgette. And pretty much anyone else who wasn't deserving of it. Which excludes Heather." She crossed her arms, seemingly done with the questions.
Courtney could feel eyes, and cameras, all on her. "I'm going to agree with Eva. I don't feel good about any of the bad things I've done in the past."
"Bull!" Heather called out, and Chris seemed to be nodding with her.
Courtney gave an annoyed look to the two. "I'm serious! I even regret tying Harold with a pole, though he did deserve some punishment for his actions." She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "My least favorite moment was definitely everything that followed Greece's Pieces. Well, the drawing I made during All Stars would be second place." She could feel some tears being to find their way to her eyes, so she sighed and kept her eyes closed. "I was really at my lowest at some of those points."
There was a pause after she finished. Once she was able to successfully push her tears back down, she blinked and looked around at everyone looking at her. "What? Keep going." She stated, trying to demand attention away from her.
She didn't look to her right, but crossed her arms and legs defensively.
Gwen followed with, "I don't feel good about anything. If we're being honest, though, there was a bit of a high being with Duncan immediately after everything went down. So I guess that makes me a bad person, but it's what I was feeling at the time."
"I hated the way I went about dealing with Trent, though." Gwen continued. "But I think that and being with Duncan are equally my worst points. I ruined a potential friendship and the million dollars or however much it was for two dudes." She shrugged her shoulders. "Just glad I've had some time to reflect on stuff."
The last person to go was Duncan. Courtney put a hand on Gwen's shoulder, silently thanking her for speaking the truth. She also realized it was difficult to listen to, but was something she could stomach without changing her opinion on Gwen.
Duncan sighed. Everyone looked at him. "To be honest, messing with Harold was always fun. Especially with Geoff. Still laugh about some of the shit we did." His smirk disappears. "But then he retaliated in like, the worst way possible and I hadn't even thought of how he'd do it til I was booted."
"So that's your least favorite moment?" Heather asked incredulously.
He glanced at her. "I don't remember saying that, Prima Donna." Briefly bringing back one of the nicknames he gave her, he continues. "Anyways, my least favorite moment is uh, probably not telling Courtney how I felt when I was forced to come back to World Tour. Also I didn't realize they were friends at that point, so I made a mess out of everything. Should've just let me be McLean."
She wasn't sure if Gwen or anyone else could hear it. He spoke so casually, like he always did when around everyone else. But there was a twang of guilt coming from the second-half of his voice. Duncan wasn't scratching the back of his head like he usually would. There was a complex, mix of emotions going on that Courtney would sit and try to pick apart later on in the day. This, she realized, was not the time.
"Sorry, but that wasn't possible! A contract is a contract! Plus it brought some good ol' drama and made it one of the highest viewed seasons of all time. Thanks for that you three!"
There was a collection of eye-rolling and groans, primarily from Gwen and Duncan. Courtney felt too ashamed to do much other than glare at Chris.
He laughed and continued. "That said, we are unfortunately all out of time for this interview. Let's give our folks a round of applause and bid them au revoir. Until next time, this has been Chris McLean!" He fake clapped to everyone.
Once the intern said they were done filming, Heather immediately stood up. "Thank god, I'm so over this." She walked away towards the cabins.
Eva stood up afterwards. "I'm gonna go back to finishing up my workout. Bye Courtney, Gwen and Duncan. Chris, go screw yourself."
As she walked away, Courtney stood up and stretched. There was a smile on her face, happy the interview was finally over. Almost comically after, her stomach softly rumbled, and she knew she needed to eat something.
"Hey Courtney?"
She turned around to Duncan walking up to her with his hands in his pockets. "Hey, what's up?"
He nodded his head towards the cafeteria. "Wanna grab lunch together? I'm starving."
"Same here. Gwen, do you want to come too?"
The young adult stood up, wiping her skirt from nonexistent dust. "Nah, I'm gonna go journal or draw. Thanks for the invite. I'll see you guys later."
Courtney waved goodbye and Duncan nodded his head as a goodbye in her direction. Then, the two starting walking off together.
Chris was talking to an intern, pretending to go over some of the footage. Once Gwen walked away, he gave another one of those sinister laughs. "You caught that, right?"
The walk to the cafeteria wasn't as awkward as Courtney expected it to be.
They didn't really talk until they received their sandwiches and juices and sat down.
Duncan bit into his turkey and cheese sandwich, chewing and swallowing before stating, "That sucked."
"Majorly sucked." She agreed, pulling a piece of her ham and lettuce sandwich off before plopping it in her mouth.
The cafeteria, for the most part, was quiet. There were only a few other contestants around like Ezekiel and Beth, and they weren't sitting together. It was kind of shocking to see Beth without Lindsay, but Courtney assumed even best friends needs some time apart.
Once she finished swallowing, she continued. "I figured Chris would ask some pretty annoying questions, but god they sucked."
"Right." Duncan said, "And he asked things he knew other people would respond to for drama cause why not, right?"
Courtney held her head in her left hand. "He is so conniving." She sighed. "Thanks for defending me, though. When Chris was being all Chris and pressuring me."
Duncan was finishing up half of his sandwich, so there was a pause as he tried to finish as quickly as possible. It made Courtney smile and shake her head. "You don't have to thank me for that. I would've done it regardless of who was pressuring. He was out about to tell all your business to the world. Shit is awful." He spoke, a bit of annoyance leaking out.
For a moment, Courtney wondered how Duncan would've reacted to the words Chris was about to finish. She knew how that sentence would've ended, and it wasn't something she wanted to talk about. Especially not in front of other people. And definitely not in front of him.
She kept speaking, "And I know I didn't mention it, but I do feel really bad about the contract and everything else. That was also a low point." Courtney let out a small laugh to hide whatever facial expression she could've made in that moment.
"Don't worry about stuff like that. I know you feel bad about it. All in the past, remember?" He smirked, and Courtney rolled her eyes.
"I hate when you use my words against me."
He chuckled, "I know."
They stared at each other, smiling, and Courtney began reminiscing. Something she didn't do too often for fear of the reality.
"I still feel bad though." She admitted.
Duncan moved his plate aside and laid his arms on the table, placing his head on top of the limbs. "How come?"
He was looking up at her; there wasn't any malicious look or annoyance when he spoke. He sounded genuinely curious.
She thought for a second. "I don't know. I mean, everything was fine. Then it wasn't. And then I tried to make you perfect and realized that I needed to be more perfect than I already was so we could be perfect? If that makes sense." Courtney sighed. "I had a list for myself too. It wasn't as long as that stupid contract, but I had all these things I wanted to change."
"Yeah, I saw it one day." Duncan admitted sheepishly. "I didn't want to say anything, but I knew it existed. You poked a hole into your pillow and always made sure to sleep on the opposite side of it, right?"
Of course Duncan knew it existed. All Courtney could do was embarrassingly nod her head. For the most part, a lot of those things on the list she still wanted to change about herself. It still existed, somewhere in her apartment. Bridgette must've missed it while she was cleaning. Or, she saw it and chose not to say anything and was waiting for the perfect moment. Which is definitely her style.
"Courtney, look." The former delinquent started, sitting up straighter and looking at her. His mouth was opening and closing, like he had the words but in the wrong order. She politely folded her hands on the table, waiting.
Finally, he added onto his sentence. "I don't know if like, this is cool to say. But you didn't need to try and be perfect. You just had to be Courtney. That's all I'd ever ask for." He paused.
She looked away from him. "That was part of the reason you'd liked Gwen so much, right? She didn't try and change you. Or herself for that matter."
"Yeah." He agreed, his voice quieter than it had been before.
Someone got up behind them and walked out the cafeteria. Neither of them really noticed.
Courtney spoke up first. "I'm glad we can talk about this though, like adults. And not get angry or anything, y'know?" She kept going. "I spent a lot of time during filming trying to figure out what it was about her. I sort of understood over the past year. And it's fine. It happened. I get it."
She unfolded her hands and wiped them on her shorts. As she did this, Duncan began talking. "I shouldn't have done it, but I really shouldn't have hid it. You're right though, I started understanding shit more recently." He looked up at the ceiling. "I've had a lot of time to myself since I started working. Plus I live alone, so other than playing video games with the boys I'm in solitude."
"Living alone changes you, I swear." Courtney smiled sadly. "I watch a lot of crappy shows and sit around. I probably only talked to Bridgette like three times in the past year."
"Damn, that's pretty low. Especially for you two." Duncan actually sounded a bit surprised. All the castmates knew how close the two were. "What about Pretty Boy?"
Even Courtney had to laugh at the tone shift of the conversation by referring to Trent as Pretty Boy. "We talked maybe twice, and they were both within a couple of weeks of each other. So maybe a few weeks ago." She ran a hand through her hair. "But yeah, other than the occasional call to my parents and going in for work, I wasn't particularly chatty." She smiled. "Speaking of chatty, how is you mom? Is still still doing well."
The young adult shook his head side-to-side, a smile on his face. "She is still the same, Court. Ma was pretty sad when I decided to move out, but it was definitely the right move. Wants me to come over every Sunday evening for dinner and makes me wash the dishes when I do."
Even nearing his mid-twenties, Duncan was still a momma's boy. It was more subtle than the way DJ was, but he had this beautiful smile on his face and his eyes would glow brighter than the stars whenever there was something he loved and he was given the time to talk about it.
When they were together, it was one of Courtney's favorite past-times. She would ask him a question about something he was passionate about and he would start rambling or over-explaining. Some years ago, she asked him about how long it took to make the wooden skull he threw to her. He went on-and-on about the process and when he started and how he finished it. And Courtney didn't really care about any of the finer details. But she loved just sitting there listening to him talk. It was some of the few times he really showed emotion in his voice.
As he continued his ramble about all the things his mom wants him to do and buy for his apartment, a few people walked into the cafeteria.
"Yooo, there they are!" One of them called out.
Duncan stopped mid-through a sentence and both he and Courtney turned around to see Geoff, Bridgette and Geoff walking in their direction.
And Courtney couldn't help but curse in her head. Bridgette had one of those looks on her face; only Courtney understood what it meant. It was the part of Bridgette she was truly afraid of the most - her ability to gather information.
The former delinquent threw up a hand as a greeting. "Boys, Bridgette, what brings you over yonder?"
"You're not gonna believe it dude." Geoff speaks, excited and sliding into the spot to Duncan's right. Bridgette sits on Courtney's left, across from Geoff. And DJ slides in on Duncan's other side.
Duncan stares at him intently. It's a comical scene. "Lay it on me."
Geoff begins explaining grandiosely, throwing his hands around. "So Bridge and I were straight chillin earlier and realized we had the same interview time. Which is like, totally cool."
"But then they ran into me and it turns out all three of us had the same time." DJ added in, smiling.
"Exactly dude. So we got to thinkin' -."
Duncan interjected, "A rarity."
Courtney rolled her eyes at Duncan, shaking her head. She connected the dots to what Geoff was saying about ten seconds ago, and she knew Duncan had too. He was just playing with them. Them making eye contact was enough for Courtney to figure that out.
"-Right man? Anyways we were like well let's go around and see what time other people have interviews and dude, get ready for it." Geoff did a drumroll on the wooden table before throwing his hands up in the air. "It's a freakin' Bass reunion dude and Mocha! What a great way to lead into a pre-party for a Bass reunion party tonight!"
The brunette looked at Geoff, her shock somewhat real. "Another party Geoff? I don't know if I'll go."
"She'll be there." Duncan confirmed to Geoff and DJ, high-fiving them both.
This led to the brunette raising an eyebrow. "I don't remember telling you that you can manage my actions, Duncan."
"Courtney c'mon. Just come for a little bit." Bridgette begged, latching onto her left arm. "It'll be fun."
Duncan nodded his head. "What Blondie said."
Geoff looks exasperated. "Mocha, you totally have to come! Plus you're so chill now, it'll be a cool vibe I swear. No throwing up from alcohol."
It was pretty easy for Courtney to ignore most of these claims and requests. It was something she had mastered over the years, staying resilient and having a straight face. But when she turned and looked at DJ's puppy dog face.
"Dammit DJ, how are you still able to pull that off?" She asked, staring at the ceiling and making everyone at the table laugh. "Fine, I'll come."
"OMG. Geoff told us there's going to be a Bass only party tonight and I literally cannot wait." Sadie gushes to the camera in the confessional. "Like, it's going to be so much fun."
Katie claps excitedly next to her. "I know right! I'm so glad he told us, so we can plan our outfits out."
The girls simultaneously squealed together.
"Now them girls too damn old to be acting like teenaged cheerleaders." LeShawna has an eyebrow raised to the camera. "I'm standing outside waiting for my turn trying to figure out why they so excited like there's any happiness on this island."
"Bridgette, nothing happened." Courtney insisted, sitting on the cabin steps next to her best friend.
After Courtney finally agreed to this party Geoff was throwing, the group walked back to their cabins. The guys (mainly Geoff) said they would come over in thirty minutes to hangout a bit more before heading over to the Amphitheater for their interview with everyone else.
Bridgette smiled at Courtney, and to others it would look innocent. "But we found you guys together, smiling, having a great time like the past didn't happen."
Courtney threw her hands out. "I told you Bridge. We did talk about the past. We're working through it, but there's no animosity between us. He was talking about his mom for crying out loud." She decided to lower her voice at the second half, but her stress could be easily observed by her friend.
"Oh god Courtney you had this look on your face. Like back on the first season."
For the time being, the brunette decided it would be best not to talk about the night before and how they spent some time together. That was extremely reminiscent of the first season.
Bridgette sounded confident, like she knew the ins and outs of her friend. Which was pretty much the truth. She could read Courtney's mind like no other.
The girl being questioned shrugged her shoulders, but a faint smile stayed on her face. "I have no idea what you're referring to Bridgette. I was just listening to a story."
"You better be careful." Bridgette quickly switched gears, sounding more serious than she had before.
Courtney raised an eyebrow. "I'm an adult, Bridge. I'll be fine."
The blonde looked concerned, but only briefly. "I don't want you to end up back where you started like when I called you. Not sure if I said it, but that was really scary for me, Court. You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?"
Of course Courtney knew that. She knew that better than anyone in the entire universe. Bridgette, more than anyone, was her ride-or-die.
Bridgette saw the fragility in Courtney she was desperately trying to put behind her. As if she hadn't spent all that time alone shattering into smaller and smaller pieces. Beating herself up over things she could no longer change or have a desired outcome for.
"Hey Bridgette." The blonde looked at Courtney. For one of the first times she had a smile on her face and a tone Bridgette could believe. "Put some faith in me, okay?"
Her friend smiled back, excited to see some new life in her friend's eyes. And not too long afterward, the rowdiness of the Bass men approached them with a beach ball and water bottles.
Duncan handed her a bottle. He helped her stand up, and almost didn't let go of her hand.
At least, that's what it looked like to Bridgette.
hi everyone! hope the new year has been nice to you so far :)
i read a lot of reddit threads on courtney. and listened to sdf interlude by travis scott, lots of chase atlantic, and wanted u by joji to write this one!
originally, i had intended to have this chapter one long continuous day and it would've been probably twice the length it is now, but i think it'll be better to split it in half (don't worry the second half of this is [kinda] in progress). also we're down to less than ten chapters left until the end :') a very bittersweet feeling.
i think i mentioned in the au for purgatory, but i wasn't doing any work for the first few months of the year, so im super happy to be back in action. my health said "no" and i said "kk" but we're back!
as always, i didn't proofread so please spare me. i also don't own any of the characters used; i am but a fan of td and wanted to elaborate on my little head-canon of courtney and co.
let me know your thoughts! if not, maybe the follow button is more your style. regardless, i thank you for taking the time to read my take on one of my favorite characters. until next time friends! xx