merendinoemiliano-Thank you so much!

The helicopter landed bumpily, startling Jim out of his sleep. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. God, he hadn't slept that amazing in who knows how long. He looked down and smiled at Claire dozing in his lap. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He didn't want to wake her just yet.

Vardan killed the engine of the helicopter and craned his neck back to look at Jim. "I was able to get us to West Virginia. That's as far as the tank could take us. We're in some national forest right now-Merlin used a cloaking spell so we could land unseen."

Jim glanced at Merlin, who nodded at him wearily. He bit his lip. He felt horrible for what the Janus Order did to the old man, but he still felt so angry that Merlin didn't care what he turned Jim into! He knew how dangerous it was, and yet he still did it.

He couldn't hold it in anymore. "Why did you do it?" he demanded. "Why did you turn me into a berserker, when you knew what they were capable of?"

Merlin bowed his head. "That's the point. I knew precisely what they were capable of. No one would dare battle a berserker. I knew that's what you needed to become in order to defeat Gunmar."

"Yeah, but you didn't think of what happened to berserkers after the battle, did you?" Jim shot back.

"No," Merlin said, his face full of regret, "I did not. And for that, I am sorry."

Jim stared at him in shock. In all his time he knew the wizard, he didn't think he had ever heard him apologize. He didn't know what to think.

"W-what?" was all he managed to splutter out.

He nodded ruefully. "I mean it, James. If I had just thought outside the big picture-if I had thought of you-I would've never done such a thing. Or at the very least, I would've told you the full truth."

He sighed, and in that moment, he looked so very, very old. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just wanted to tell you I am truly sorry."

A thousand emotions swirled through Jim's head. Rage, sadness, frustration-but it was pity that spoke the loudest. In reality, Merlin was just an old man who had seen too much and made many mistakes along the way. Jim just happened to be one of those, as easily as it could've been avoided. He couldn't stay mad at him. It just wasn't his nature.

"It's okay, Merlin," he finally said. "I…I forgive you. I wish there had been another way, but maybe there wasn't. Maybe it was the only option."

Merlin looked up at him, surprise and gratefulness in his eyes. "Thank you, my boy," he whispered. He studied Jim. "You really do remind me of my apprentice…"

"Who?"

"Oh, no one." He stood up and cracked his back. He grabbed his staff and turned to Jim, a twinkle in his eye. "Now, what say we bring those trolls back to their normal size? I believe they're more than ready to be turned back to normal."

Jim grinned back. "I think so too."

Unshrinking the trolls was a nightmare. Apparently, some fistfights had broken out on the helicopter and more than a few trolls were eager to finish it. Jim had to wrestle (literally) several of them apart. The ones that hadn't gotten into a fight were so grouchy that they wouldn't stop complaining. It gave Jim a splitting headache.

Bringing this up to Blinky was a mistake. "Oh, you have a headache?" Blinky demanded, crossing his four arms. "Did you preside over dozens of trolls, the most unruly bunch you ever did see, all while being the size of a thimble? Hm?"

Jim cocked his head. "Oh, yeah. It's almost as bad as popping me in a furgolator, making me shrink, then shoving me into my first official Trollhunter mission with hardly any training against a feral gnome."

Blinky opened his mouth then closed it. "Touché."

Once everyone was reverted back to normal size, it was decided that the party rest for the night. Heck, maybe even the next day. The last few weeks had been a harrowing experience for all of them. They deserved it.

Jim was happy to be back, really he was. He was finally surrounded by his loved ones again. But something was nagging at him, deep inside. Did he really deserve to be around them? After what he did to them? He wasn't sure anymore.

"So what's eating ya, kid?"

Jim yipped in alarm and jumped back. Carbak chuckled at his reaction. "Jumpy too, huh?"

Jim relaxed, but he could still feel heat creeping into his cheeks. "Y-yeah, I guess."

Carbak sat on the fallen tree trunk next to Jim. He leaned back and gazed at the bejeweled sky above. Jim did, too. It had been a while since he had looked-and he meant really looked-at the stars. Now that he didn't have a sun to look up to, he appreciated the nighttime wonders that much more.

Carbak broke the silence. "You never answered my question, kid. What's wrong?"

He sighed. "It's what happened with the gravesand," he confessed. "It…it made me do a lot of bad things. Including hurting her." He nodded towards Claire, who was sitting against a tree next to Nomura.

"If I'm being honest Carbak, I'm scared that I'll hurt her again. Except this time, there'll be no gravesand to blame. It'll only be my fault, and mine alone." He looked down.

"Yeah. That could happen."

Jim glared at him. "Really? That's what you're gonna say?"

Carbak shrugged. "I'm not going to lie to you, Jim. Not going to sugarcoat it. You're a berserker troll, after all. There's a good chance you could lose control and do something you regret."

"Gee, thanks."

"I wasn't finished," Carbak said. "Look Jim, you're always going to have that craving inside you. To fight, to maim. Half-human or not, it's in your nature." He gazed into Jim's eyes. "But you'll learn to harness it. You really will. If you've got the will and heart to back it up, you'll be okay."

His gaze flicked to Claire. "And if the people around you are as good as you say they are, they'll understand. They'll help. You just have to tell them."

"You make it sound so easy."

"I never said it was." Carbak placed his hand on Jim's shoulder. "But you have to do it if you ever want to get better, Jim."

Jim took a deep breath. Carbak was right. He had been delaying this for too long. Had been stifling his fear for too long. He had to tell her.

"Okay." He stood up abruptly. "I'll do it."

Carbak grinned. "That's the spirit, kid! Now get!"

He whapped Jim's back so hard he stumbled and fell. He rolled down the small hill they were on, kicking up tufts of grass, until he landed with an oof next to Claire.

He cracked his eyes open. "Hey, Claire."

"And that's my cue to leave," Nomura said, rising to her feet and dusting herself off. "Try not to do anything too disgusting, alright?" She stalked off.

"Are you okay, Jim?" Claire asked as Jim sat up.

"Yeah, the fall wasn't too bad," he said, cracking his neck. "I've had worse-"

"No, I mean…" she bit her lip. "Are you really okay? Ever since we reunited, you've been…off. I can tell."

Jim swallowed. Oh. She was bringing it up this quick, huh. He looked into her pleading brown eyes, and his heart cracked. She really wanted to know what was wrong, and help in any way she could.

"No, Claire, I'm not," he said, his ears drooping. "I'm…the gravesand incident. It really messed me up. I hurt you, Claire! I hurt Nomura too, and because I left, the Janus Order was able to capture you, and…"

He didn't try to stop the tears welling in his eyes. "The worst part is, I'm scared I'll do it again. That I'll snap and something much worse will happen. I'm so scared, Claire. Scared of myself."

Claire caressed his face and made him look at her. "Jim, I want you to know that I will always love you," she whispered. "I know you would never intentionally hurt me, so why would I hold that against you? The gravesand wasn't your fault. I don't blame you for that."

"But what if I-"

"I don't care," she said softly, cutting him off. "I don't care. I'll always be there for you. I'll always stand by your side and help you. I love you for who you are, Jim-all you are. The messy bits, everything."

She brushed her fingers over his tusks and smiled. "That includes your troll half, too."

Those words finally broke the dam of emotions Jim had been holding in for so long. He started sobbing, his body shaking under the sheer force of-of everything. His fear of becoming that monster in the Deep was slipping away like the tears down his face. And it was all because of her.

Claire scooched next to him and let him cry on her shoulder. She kept rubbing his back, whispering soothing words he couldn't make out. She just let him sit there and cry, and honestly, that's all he needed.

After what felt like hours, Jim's tear ducts dried up. He sniffed and wiped his hand across his face.

Claire stroked his scruff. "Feeling better?"

He nuzzled her neck. "Mmhm."

"I know this is probably a bad time, but…well, I just realized we haven't called your mom in almost a month."

Jim's eyes snapped open.

A/N: First off, I am so, so sorry that this update came in almost two months late. I've had the most hectic time. First I was taking a little break because of the holidays, then I was working an independent project totally separate from Trollhunters, then I got COVID and was really behind on schoolwork...yeah, not the best few weeks. I'm really sorry if you guys thought I abandoned this fic or something. It just took me some time, but now I got my scheduled worked out so updates should be back to normal now. I hope this chapter made the wait tolerable!

And the angst saga has officially come to a close. I remembered Jim had never really talked about the gravesand incident with anyone, not really, so I knew I had to dedicate a chapter to that. It's a traumatizing experience, you know? Had to be addressed and resolved. Wraps Jim's arc nicely, I think.

So he got his feelings out, Claire made him feel better, now we just have Barbara's wrath...yeah you can see where I'm going with this. Journey to the Heartstone is almost, almost done. I think we got three or less chapters left. Weird to think about, honestly.

But! For you guys finally checking in after two months (again I'm so sorry) I'm glad you're here, and I hope you like the coming ending of this fic.