Flicker of Hope

Chapter 3 – Fear

Sam and Hope fall into a routine and they both seem to be thriving in each other's company and while Hope is a small child so she is usually happy with anyone who feeds and makes her laugh, Sam feels that the two of them have a special bond. Sam can already feel his heart attaching itself to Hope and her laughter and the way she tries to say his name and the way she holds his finger when he's feeding her and the smell of her hair after her bath. He was enjoying being 'Uncle Sam' and had actually thought about what his own life could have been like if he had stayed at Stanford and married Jessica. They could have had children and lived in the suburbs but his life hadn't turned out that way, and now he was having a second shot at living a normal life.

The weekend was finally upon them and Sam had plans to take Hope out to the local petting zoo and fun park. He wasn't sure how it was going to handle it as he had never taken a small child, out for a day of overstimulation and sugary treats. He could foresee a nightmarish situation but he really wanted to treat his niece to this experience together as a family. He couldn't remember ever really going to any kind of fun park or fair when he was growing up. They always had better things to do, training, research, recon or more training. His father never really allowed him to enjoy just being a kid, he would say is was to keep him safe, but Sam always saw it as a type of neglect or a deficiency. Of course after so many years, Sam had grown to understand where his father was coming from, they had been marked and unfortunately all those who wanted their lives to go a certain way, made it incredibly hard for them to stop it all from happening.

Sam had always pondered what his life would have been like if things were different. Would he have had the normal life he had craved for so long, would he and Dean still have such a strong relationship or would they have let their differences pull them apart? This above all else, made his decision to take his niece to the fun park, a no brainer, he wants to give his niece, the life he and his brother should have had. His niece deserved to live a life monster free.

These type of thoughts always brought his brother back to the forefront of his mind. Would he approve of what he's doing? Would he yell, scream and fight him and disown him forever. Both of which he has experienced before and doesn't really want a repeat of that type of abandonment. Sam has actually taken to taking to his brother whenever he has put Hope to bed and was setting himself up for a few hours of mindless TV. He would just start talking about Hope and how she was doing, and all the funny little things she would do that reminded him of his big brother. These talks lasted hours sometimes, even when he was in bed, he would just say random things, just so he could get them off his chest. He didn't know where his brother was and whether or not he could hear him but he always felt better afterwards.

The next day started bright and extremely early, Sam was up at 6am, bleary eyed and in need of a strong coffee. He has atleast 2 full coffees before showering, packing the nappy bag with the snack bag, the blanket bag, multiple pacifiers, then finally getting Hope up and ready for their day at the fun park.

By the time Sam is buckling into the drivers side of the car and turning the key, he is already exhausted. He looks through the rear view mirror and sees Hope smiling, he isn't sure why she is smiling but he vows to keep her smiling all day.

They go to the carnival games and he wins her a large stuffed giraffe at the shooting game. Knowing his brother would not let him hear the end of it if he hadn't won in this particular game, he knew he had the family name to defend. Hope took the prize with a look of awe on her face, leaving Sam with a lump in his throat and a flutter in his chest.

Moving on to the ring toss and again he used his skills of hand and eye coordination to win Hope a headband that made her look like a unicorn with a rainbow horn at the top. Hope clapped her hands and they kept walking checking out the small petting zoo and pony rides, he knew that a trip to the zoo was in his future and Hope kept saying 'amals' whenever they walked past anything that had an animal on it.

By lunch time Hope was coming down from her sugar high and in need of a nap. Grabbing the nearest park bench, Sam took out the ham and cheese sandwiches he had made for them both from the chilled section of his bag and picked Hope up and holding her in his arms, talking to her softly while rubbing her back, she fell asleep within minutes. Sam ate his sandwich and people watched, noting all the weird and wonderful things people did.

Sam's legs were aching and he was getting the first signs of a headache but he wasn't going to stop until Hope wanted to. Sam really wanted to take her on the Ferris wheel and one of those kiddies roller coasters, he remembered quite fondly when he was able to go on one just once with his brother after a particularly bad fight he'd had with his father about moving on.

After an hour long nap, Hope was babbling a mile a minute and Sam thought at first that it was too much sugar and not enough nap time but he realised that she was just excited and overwhelmed by the sights and sounds around her. "Bla waa waa blah lah wa" she said to him in a serious voice, waving her arms around.

"Alright, honey, we'll go to the ferris wheel next" Sam replied to her smiling.

"Yeah!" she yelled back.

Sam chuckled back and was yet again grateful that he had Hope in his life. They finish their lunch, and move on to the kid friendly ferris wheel line, Hope continued to babble away to Sam and he answered her "Anything you want baby"

There was a chorus of "OOOHHH" behind him and when he turned to see where it was coming from, he saw half a dozen women with their kids looking at him fondly. "You and your daughter as SO adorable" one of the women say with a sly, flirty flick of the hair.

Sam furrowed his brow "Um… thanks" he said, his face reddening. He didn't know these people, and he didn't want to know these strange soccer mums who gossip and flirt with all the dads. It makes him sick to think they all bitched about each other and they would cheat on their husbands with one the other dads.

He could hear them all talking about how sweet it was and how cute they were, his face grew redder from embarrassment. His brother would have used his flair and charm to make these women swoon, Sam on the other hand, was always the shy, quiet one, he was mostly overlooked. In their working relationship, however, Sam was the one who could handle other people's emotions, he was sensitive and comforting, Dean was brash and unsympathetic. They made a great team but now that Sam was on his own, he didn't have the strong wall of Dean to take the brunt of this kind of attention.

Hope was still happily babbling to him and he was smiling at her when they finally got to the front of the line, he took her out of the pram, stowed it away to the side and got into the seat. The women were all waving at him and smiling, Sam looked away and once he had put the seat belt around them both, with Hope on his lap, she clapped and when one of the women yelled "are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" As Sam was about to say something in reply, Hope poked out her tongue at them all and blew a loud raspberry.

The looks on the women's faces was so funny that Sam started laughing "That's right baby girl, you tell them" he said laughing harder, the ferris wheel started moving and they both waved at the ladies looking shocked and affronted as they moved slowly around to the top.

Sam buckled Hope in carefully to her child car seat, her heavy head hanging at an awkward angle while she slept. He grabbed his jacket and folded it up and placed it under her head to make her more comfortable. He got into the drivers side of the car, and sighed, they had stayed at the fun park for at least 3 hours and they were both exhausted. Fortunately Hope was able to have a nap on the way home, Sam on the other hand, had to drive them home without falling asleep.

He pulled out of the parking lot and was still smiling at the amazing day they'd had. The best part of the day was Hope acting so 'DEANish' that he almost felt like he had Dean back with him. He actually thought in his head that Dean would be proud of her. Sam smiled at the thought, Dean would love all this, he would enjoy everything about being a Dad. He had already been a good Dad to Sam, when their own father had been of on his crusade, Dean had also relished being a Dad to Ben once upon a time and had a hard time trying not to think about that time.

Coming out of his thoughts, Sam looked in the rear-view mirror as he changed lanes and noticed a black car behind him. This, on its own, wasn't unusual, but the car changed lanes when he did. As he kept driving, he told himself that he was just being paranoid. Taking the next turn off, he noticed again that the black car followed him, this time they were further away. Again he told himself that he was just being paranoid, so he turned again this time down a random street, just to see if they followed them. As her turned the corner he watched and the driver slowed down and turned the corner. "Shit" Sam exclaimed a little louder than he wanted to, he quickly checked on Hope and she was still blissfully unaware of what was happening.

Sam took the other car through a twisted route towards their home and they continued to follow at a distance. They didn't appear to be hostile, all they did was follow them. As Sam turned down his street he silently cursed himself for taking them to their actual address. He slowed the car down and stopped a few houses down. He sat for a moment as the other car parked just behind them. Sam watched the dark figure sat there looking at them. Sam looked over his shoulder and sighed, he needed to find out what this was all about. He leaned forward and grabbed the gun he had taped the underside of the dash, he checked it was loaded and opened the door slowly. He turned and looked at the car, it was still running and the lights were on, shining brightly in his eyes making it hard to see the drivers face. He walked slowly towards them, his hand holding the gun, just at his side.

He walked slowly up to the driver side window, looking around first then, he lifted his gun, gripping it steadily with both hands, up high, his stance changing instantly, coming back to him just like riding a bike.

He taps the gun on the window "Open up" he says firmly, stepping back slightly, not taking his eyes of the figure, getting out of the car smoothly, arms up like he was used to having a gun pointed at him.

"Why are you following me?" Sam asked harshly, he looked closely at the man and it takes a minute for him to notice the man's eyes were black.

"Who the hell are you?" Sam asks angrily. He thought he was safe in this small, nondescript town. He thought they were safe now, he hadn't even looked at a newspaper for any odd happenings so, he asks himself, why is this demon following him.

The demon looks at him, for a lazy beat, then he smiles a weird evil smile. "We missed you, Sam" he says with a smarmy, oily voice.

"Yeah? I didn't miss you at all" Sam says not moving his gun from the demons face.

"Why are you following me?" Sam asks again fiercely

"Like I said, we missed you Sam… You always leave a trail of destruction and it's been a little too clean lately" the demon answers

Sam looks at the demon for a beat considering what he should say "We made a deal, your boss and I… I drop of the radar and your lot leave me alone" Sam says

"Yeah, but I never agreed to that" the demon replies shaking his head

"Speak to your boss, he's the one you answer too" Sam says wearily, he sneaks a glance behind him and he notices there is another demon inching towards the impala and the blissfully unaware Hope in the back seat.

"Hey, get away from there" Sam yells turning the gun towards the other demon, doing so, allows the other one in the car to get out. Sam moves again, moving toward the Impala slowly, looking at them both, realising that he may be out numbered.

"I think he likes your car Sam… and the little babe in the back seat" The demon taunts from the car.

Sam takes one hand off his gun and moves it to his back as he edges slowly, closer to the car and his niece. He has to keep her safe, his life isn't worth anything if she is taken from him or if she's hurt because he couldn't do his job.

"Get the hall away from my car or you'll be wishing you were back in hell, instead of with me" He says with so much conviction he feels like Dean is with him.

The demon ignores him and moves to grab the door handle and Sam steps even closer aiming his gun right for the demons head, not caring if he kills an innocent person if it means keeping his niece safe. "I'm not joking, you touch than car and there won't be much left of you once I get through with you and your pal over there" he motions to the other demon, moving the crowd him in.

He turns in a flash and fires at the demon beside him, right between the eyes, the bullet is extra loud in the quiet of the street, so far no one has coming out to investigate.

The demon drops to the ground but there is no smoke. He moves back to the other demon with his hand on the handle of the Impala. "My special bullets are keeping that piece of shit in his meat suit, so we can have some fun later" Sam hears Hope start to cry in the car, the loud noise from the gun, having woken her up.

He points his gun at the other demon and snarls "Do you want to join him?" He hopes that this piece of shit disappears so he can clean up this mess and get Hope inside.

The demon steps back and shakes his head. "This was only meant to scare you… they don't like that you've fallen off the radar and they just want to play with you"

"And go against your bosses orders?" Sam asks shaking his head at the stupidity of these demons "Crowley doesn't like disobedience, what do you think he'll say when I tell him?

"What? NO! Please don't tell him" The demon begs pathetically

"Why should I do anything for you? All you've done is make me mad and disrupted my life. If I get even a whiff of any more of your kind in this town again, I will start making an impact" Sam says menacingly, trying to keep his mind in the game but Hopes cries were getting louder and louder.

"I wouldn't recommend you doing that Moose" says a very deep British voice behind Sam

Sam turns quickly, pointing his gun at the source of the voice. "Crowley?" Sam asks angrily

"Got it in one" he said in his usual smarmy way, looking Sam up and down "Looking very 'Mr Rogers' there Moose" He says smiling

"What are you doing here? Did you sick these two clowns on me?" Sam asked incredulously "What happened to our deal?"

"No… we definitely had a deal Sammy boy… and you know I keep my promises" Crowley says dangerously and clicks his fingers, both demons burst into fiery smoke and disappear.

Sam let out a relieved breath he didn't realise he was holding, grabbed the door handle and yanked the door open. Hope is wailing, her eyes full with tears, her face red and tear streaked and her little hands in fists. "Shhhh, sweetheart, everything's alright…. Shhh, calm down" he says running his big hand up and down her back trying to sooth her. He has never seen her this upset, he knows he should have protected her better, she should never have ben this close to his past life.

"That's so touching Moose… I can see why you swapped hunting for that… screaming, pooping, crying, burping, puking little bag of bones" Crowley said condescendingly

"She's the only thing I have left, Crowley… I swapped that life, for this one because Dean would have wanted me to" Sam said vehemently

"Are you sure about that?" Crowley asked, sparking doubt in Sam's mind, would Dean have dropped everything? "Would big brother want you to forget about him?"

"I haven't forgotten him!" Sam roared making Hope grumble against his chest. "I can never forget about my brother… that's why I'm looking after her…" Sam said passionately indicating his niece.

"Alright Moose, keep your buttoned up plaid shirt on" Crowley said sarcastically "I just came here to ensure, that my promises were being kept…"

"Yeah, you gotta keep your minions in line… I'm keeping my end of bargain, I've dropped out... you need to try harder to keep yours" Sam said kissing Hope on the head and putting her back in her car seat, now that she had calmed down a little, all Sam wanted to do was get her back home so they could just cuddle together on the couch. He felt that he wouldn't be letting her out of his sight for a while.

"Now, now, Sammy boy… don't get too big for your britches… they were rogue demons… I'll do a wide sweep of all my lovely little ants when I get back downstairs. They won't know which way is up" Crowley says commandingly.

"Alright, thanks for the visit… it was… yeah, bye" Sam says uncomfortably. He didn't want to see Crowley or his demons again.

With that, the king of hell disappeared and Sam got into the car and drove the short way to their house, he parked in the garage , he got out, locked the garage up tight, grabbed Hope and her bags from the car and practically ran inside the house. The dog walked towards them excitedly, Sam smiled and gave him a few pats in greeting, "Hey boy…" he said, letting out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. Sam, dropped the bags on the floor, took three steps then just dropped to the couch, the dog wagged its tail and licked him on the hand, Sam kicked of his shoes and laid back on the inviting couch, Hope in his arms.

"I'm so sorry baby girl" he said softly as she looked at him with big scared eyes, her thumb was in her mouth and she was clinging to him like her life depended on it. Sam laid there for a while, the dog coming over and licking his hand just to check in, Sam continued rubbing her back, up to her head, soothing back her soft wisps of hair, talking softly to her and just relaxing. Soon they all fell into a deep calming sleep.

TBC