Flicker of Hope

Chapter 5 – Change of Direction

He smiles as he sits up in bed, amazed at having had a restful night's sleep. Still thinking about the story he wrote the night before, he grabs the note book on his nightstand and starts to draw a quick sketch. He looks at his drawing and is surprised to see it's actually pretty good. He was never really an artsy person, he loved soccer, reading and writing but art was never really his thing.

However remembering all those times, after a hunt with his brother, he would write in his journal about all the monsters and supernatural creatures they had dealt with, so he could keep a log of each one and how to dispose of them. He remembered his father's journal had sketches and notes on how to kill certain monsters. It had been so useful to Sam and Dean after their father had passed away that it inspired Sam to do the same.

Thinking back over what he had written, Sam thinks perhaps he has the start of a real children's book, he doesn't think twice about drawing each of the different scenes himself and turn it into a proper book.

A few weeks later, Sam has the rough drafts for a couple different books 'Hope and the Hot Afternoon' , Hope and the Fun Park' and the one he was working on now 'Hope and the Lady Bug'. Sam was immensely proud of them all and from the reaction of the first read through with Hope, she loved them too. He has ideas for other stories, most recently when Hope took her first wobbly steps towards him, her arms out like Frankenstein but a huge grin on her face, Sam laughed when the dog ran away from her knowing that now she was on the move, it was only a matter of time before she would want to play with him.

Sam had nervously given the drafts to his boss at the Library and asked for her opinion. Sam was more than a little surprised to get a call from a publisher a few days later, offering a very generous pay check to publish the first book. The man had laughed a little when Sam had expressed his shock that his boss had forwarded it on without his knowledge or consent. They were really only intended to be for his niece only and maybe the childcare centre in town, not for the wider public. The publisher said that the librarian was always doing things like that. Sam had therefore insisted on using a pen name 'Mason Smith' so his identity would be protected.

In the following days and weeks Sam was asked by everyone in town when they would be getting copies of his children's book. There was nothing that this town loved more than good gossip and it seemed that this was travelling like wildfire, not to be stopped.

Sam was both proud, and embarrassed, when his boss at the library had told him they would proudly display his book in the window when it was released. Sam wondered if the woman even cared that he hadn't wanted to publish the book, just read it to his niece. He shook his head, living in a small town meant everyone knew your business.

Weeks, then months go by and the news of Sam's impending book launch takes the town by storm, they congratulate him wherever he goes, they even name a steak sandwich after him at the café, which he eats with a smile, every chance he gets.

Sam finds himself internally asking what Dean would think about this or that, throughout the day, laughing at something and thinking that his brother would find that funny, watching Hope take her first step was a magical moment that he captured on his phone, with the intension of showing his brother. These small moments make him think again about what happened to his brother, where did her go and most importantly who can he ask to give him answers.

Sam thinks he might just put his questions out there and hope he gets a bite. He emails a few people that he hadn't tried for information and he thinks he might go right to the big guns and ask a reaper if they know about Dean. He knows contacting a known supernatural creature is a big risk but he's been thinking about his brother a lot lately and he has a nagging feeling that something isn't right with the whole thing.

Sam finds all the ingredients he needs to contact an angel in the Impala's weapons compartment in the back. He has kept it stocked up and ready in case he gets another supernatural visit. He works the spell and with a small pop, a tall, red headed woman materialises behind him.

"Samuel Winchester, isn't this a pleasant surprise" she says breathily

"Look I just need to ask a question, I'm not going to ask for anything" Sam says "I swear"

She looks at him with her head tilted to the side, like an inquisitive dog. "Alright Samuel, let me hear it"

Sam steadies himself and takes a big breath "I want some information… it's about my brother. I know he's dead, but… I have this terrible feeling that he's just stuck somewhere and he can't get out… Are you able to tell me if Dean is in Heaven… or somewhere else… maybe?" Sam says the last bit quickly like he wanted to stop himself from rambling.

She looks back at him sceptically "I don't know if I can just give you that information Samuel"

"I'm not asking for anything big, I'm not giving you anything either, I just need to know if Dean is alive or… or really dead" Sam asks

She looks at him and blinks "and why would I tell you that?" she asked crossing her arms

"Because I asked nicely?" Sam said with a smirk.

She gives him a little smile "what do I get out of this if you aren't going to give me anything? What's in it for me?"

"My gratitude… and I won't do anything to bring you guys down on me" Sam replied, he was getting annoyed now and he was pretty certain that she didn't actually know anything otherwise she would be asking for a deal.

She starts to walk towards him "I'm going to need a little more than that Sammy baby" she is right up to him now, her hand touches him chest and she starts to walk her fingers up to his nose as she says "so what.. is… in… it… for… me?" she bops him on the nose as he leans back away from her, discussed with her being so close.

The last thing he needs or wants right now, is an angel messing with his life, or having anything to do with him in fact. With his questionable history when he is left to his own devices and desperate for answers, Sam ia worried about how far he is willing to go, when he thinks about Hope though, he knows he can't risk anything. Sam moves his right hand slowly to his back and pulls something from the back of this jeans and moves back to his side. "well… I have a small surprise for you…." Sam says trying to sound calm

'Oh yeah… whatcha got for me Sammy?" the angel asks seductively, much like a demon

"Well… it's actually something that one of friends taught me, he was an angel too… it sends beings like you straight… back… to heaven" Sam moves the special knife above his hand as he speaks, swipes it across the meaty part of his palm and as the blood rises out of the cut, he slams his hand on the wall, the outline of an angelic symbol shining in the light, and the angel disappears in a flash of light.

Sam is angry with himself for thinking his plan would work with an angel and that he would get the answers he had hoped for. Obviously no one was going to tell him what happened to his brother and no one was going to help him find someone who would. The thought that Dean was in Hell or somewhere else being tortured, made Sam sick to his stomach and made him want to tear down the world to get him back.

Wishing not for the first time that he could contact Castiel for help. Their angel friend had disappeared without a trace when Dean had disappeared. Sam thought that he had returned to heaven and was unable to help or he was with Dean. Sam had not been able to get any answers from anyone, obviously the Winchester reputation preceded them and no one supernatural was going to help.

Sam and Hope enjoyed the summer sunshine as much as they could, he took her out for walks along the pier to watch the boats coming in and out of the small harbour, they went to the playground and to the local zoo to watch the monkeys, elephants and the meerkats play in the enclosures. Hope was clapping and squealing with delight. Sam couldn't stop smiling, watching Hope enjoy herself was a balm for his bruised soul.

As the weather started to change into autumn and the tourists started to retreat, the town became quieter and the towns people visited the cafes and restaurants less during the day, Sam finds the quiet is too quiet, he starts to get the feeling that someone is following him, hairs prickling every time he walks around town, at work, or leaving the house . He walks towards the Childcare Centre to pick up Hope, his thoughts once again to his brother, his stomach churning and his sadness overwhelming, he still carries his brother around like a war wound. He opens the door, the bell chimes and the receptionist greets him.

"Hi Poppy, How are you today?" Sam asks with a small smile.

"Oh you know, busy as usual" She replies, adjusting her glasses on her nose giving him a smile in return.

"Is Hope ready yet?" He asks not really feeling like getting into a whole conversation but being polite. He just wants to get home and cuddle up on the couch with Hope.

"Yeah, Sally will bring her out soon" she said, "Oh hey, yeah, I almost forgot, someone came by today asking about you today"

Sam furrowed his eyebrows, thinking about who could possible know he was living in this town, or that he had a niece coming to this childcare centre. "Did they leave a name? he asked apprehensively

"Hmm, let me see, I wrote a note…" she started looking over her desk "Ah, here it is… no name but he said that he was staying in town and that he wants to meet up, he said he would contact you" She said as she passed the small not to Sam.

The note Poppy handed him, did indeed just have the name of the Inn he was staying at but no name or number of the person. Sam looked at it for a few minutes, hoping the vague note would reveal something more about who it was.

Sally came bustling through the door with Hope who was babbling away happily. Sam and Hope both smiled as soon as they saw each other. "Hi, baby!, did you have fun today?" Sam asked her fondly as he put his arms out for her and she came willingly into his arms.

Hope babbled back to him, obviously telling him about her day, she occasionally said a word that was understandable, like 'draw' and 'play' and at the end her excitement went quiet and she said 'miss ooo' which just melted Sam's heart and the other ladies obviously felt the same as they all cooed at them.

"I missed you too sweetheart" Sam said softly to her, kissing her head as she puts her head down on his chest, her finger going straight in her mouth as he rubs her back and sighs, both of them content now that they are together again. He looked up at the ladies who were staring at them with awed looks on their faces. "Oh, thanks, we'll just… leave, thanks" Sam said as he walked out the door embarrassed.

Sam walked slowly back to his car, talking softly to Hope and as he put the key in the door to open it, the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He turned his head slightly to use his peripheral vision. Glancing beside him and around the car, he didn't see any obvious signs of an attacker. He placed Hope quickly into her car seat, looking through the back and side windows for someone to walk up on him. Standing up straight, he looked around again, right then left and could not see anyone. Furrowing his brow as to why he would be getting this feeling that someone was following him, he quickly got in the car and drove off, towards his house, looking at the rear view and side mirrors for anyone following him.

Sam took a longer, more winding way home, taking back streets and doubling back a few times, but when he finally arrived at his small house, they were completely alone. There had been no one behind them for a while but he just couldn't shake the feeling of eyes watching him. Sam picked Hope up from her car seat where she was now sleeping, unlocked the front door and locking the door behind him. He quickly laid a salt line and rewrote the protective symbols around the door in invisible ink and checked the devils trap underneath the rug. He sighed in relief that they were now safe inside their home but still un-nerved by what he had felt.

Putting Hope in her play pen, he walked back to the kitchen and grabbed his phone and dialled a number he didn't think he would ever call again. "Hey… Garth, it's me" He said apprehensively

"Sam my man! Holy shit, I can't believe it!" Garth exclaimed happily

"Yeah, I know it's been a while… a lot has changed Garth" Sam said a little sadly

"Oh yeah, man I'm so sorry, I heard about Dean" Garth said consolingly

Sam cleared his throat uncomfortably "Yeah, it's ah… it's fine thanks" Sam said, not really wanting to go into anything

"Hhmm, you never change do you buddy… so what's up if this isn't a social call?" Garth asked seeing right through any pretence. He had been worried about he younger Winchester since he heard about Dean's death and he can see that it's been hard on the man.

"Well, I'm ahh… I'm living in Kermit, Texas… I'm out of the life, what with Dean gone and I wasn't getting answers as to what happened to him…and now… I just had a.. a weird feeling that someone was following me… can you check if there is anything in the area? supernatural, hunters, angel activity, anything?" Sam asked in a rush.

"OK I gotchya… don't worry, I'll look into it and get back to you" Garth said in reply bring back memories of Bobby making Sam smile.

"Thanks man" Sam said "Oh and Garth, can you also just check on Kevin too… I think he was holed up somewhere checking over the angel tablets"

"Oh yeah, I'll check on him for ya" Garth said

Sam nodded, knowing his friend would check on the young profit for him was a relief. "I just really want to stay under the radar you know"

"Is everything alright Sam?" Garth asked worriedly

"Yeah… it's just I have responsibilities… I can't really tell you but I'm settled now and I want to start a new life here but my old life wants to creep back in" Sam replied not wanting to let Garth in on what's happening with Hope in case someone gets to him.

"Alrighty, no probs, I'll let you know what I find" Garth said resigned "Look after yourself"

"Yeah you too" Sam replied and they hung up.

Sam starts preparing dinner for the two of them, wondering what Garth was going to find in his search, when there is a knock on the door. Frozen on the spot with the fridge door open, Sam moves slowly and quietly, closing the refrigerator door and making his way towards the front door. It is quiet on the other side of the door but Sam is still cautious, he glances trough the crack in the curtain and doesn't see anyone in front of the door. With his hand on the handle about to turn it, Sam looks down and notices a note under the door. He abandons the handle and bends over to pick it up and flips it over. He reads the note "Meet at the cabin, Saturday" and flips the page over to see if there is any indication to who had left it for him.

Sam reads the note again, he doesn't recognise the handwriting, but knows the person is someone he knows because they know about the cabin that he and his brother had used before whenever they needed a place to lay low. His hunter instincts kicking up a notch, worry that it was a trap and that the life he now has with Hope was in danger. Was he ever going to be free? Was he ever going to be able to just relax and not worry that someone or something was going to come after him?

He walks back to the kitchen and puts the note on the fridge, deciding that to worry about it now. He hopes that Garth can figure out who it is so he is more prepared for whoever or whatever this is.

After dinner Sam is resting on the couch, watching a kids movie, with Hope laying with her head on his chest, thumb in her mouth, her little hand it holding onto his thumb. He has his large hand resting on her back, his feet are up on the coffee table. They are content to stay this way for now, until the movie ends and he can carry her back to her room for bed. This is his favourite part of the day, the calming nature of having Hope with him, their heart beats syncing up, he closes his eyes for a moment relishing in it. He opened his eyes again and the movie has ended and the screen is shining blue light. He stands up slowly, holding on to Hope, trying not to wake her and walks the short distance to the bedroom and her placing her carefully on her bed. He watches her for a moment and wonders how Dean would react if he ever got to tell him that he had a daughter and that she literally saved his life.

For the next day or so, Sam's hunting instincts were on high alert, whoever this person was, they know who he was and where he lived. Garth had come back to him saying that whoever it was, they had left zero trail. He had no idea who it was or what it was. He wished Sam good luck and asked him to keep him posted and that he would monitor the hunter network for any activity. Sam just hoped that it wasn't going to blow up in his face and put Hope and himself in danger.

TBC