How I Met Your Mother- "Of Course…Michael…"

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended

Summary: There was a little more to the "Of Course" episode as Mr. and Mrs. Scherbatsky-Stinson relate after a chance meeting.

Part II…

2019, Maclaren's…

"Ok…" Ted eyed Robin, across from him, currently engaged in trying to maneuver herself to some degree of pregnant comfort without stimulating her bladder yet again. Tracy beside Ted, sympathetically offering suggestions as to cushion placement based on her own experience trying to endure the Booth while pregnant.

"…So Barney finally did set up a date with the dragon lady of self-help who'd rather karmatically bludgeoned herself into a state of obsessive stupor with her own psychobabble technique…Without telling his supposed best bro or ever it seems letting his supposed best bro's best friend inform him of this event."

"Try pulling it forward…" Tracy urged a groaning Robin. "It shouldn't work but somehow, leaving your rear hanging in the air helps…"

"Hey it does, thanks. And it was vital he pass this on to you, why, exactly?" Robin eyed Ted.

"Because bros do that…" Ted frowned. "If you're really his wife-bro you oughta know that. When he gets here I am so declaring a violation of the Bro Code here."

"Not so fast, Mosby…" Robin put up a stern forefinger. "As the assistant chief writer, assistant producer, and devoted top reviewer of the said 'Bro Code', I declare that there was no violation of the article in question, namely article 113, to wit 'Bros who score majorly bodacious hos must share with all chief bros within 72 hours of score.'"

"Exactly…" Ted nodded… "I mean I disagree, there is a clear bro violation. Though it worries me that you knew that without looking it up."

Yeah…Don't it…? Tracy eyed Ted.

"Well…I had years of intense broposure." Ted shrugged.

"But…" Robin, solemn look… "Bro Mosby, I must refer you to subsection 113…a….'Crazy hos chasing bros may be exempt from being named by said bro to other bros if a gentlebro's commitment is involved.' In short, former chief bro Mosby, now once removed by presence of the wife-bro Scherbatsky-Stinson, namely me, if a gentlebro has pledged to keep the rep of the said 'crazy ho' protected to mitigate the said 'crazy' of the said 'crazy ho', he is thereby relieved of sharing duty, nay, required by gentlebro's pledge to maintain her secret."

"No…This bro says it ain't so." Ted frowned. Tracy eyeing him. "I challenge and demand a review of said subsection…Oh, shit…" he sighed, as Robin triumphantly lifted the hefty tome of the Bro Code to the table.

Tried to warn you, Tracy eyed Ted. I spotted the thing on the side of her bench.

Dang…

Next time telepathically tell me you're sending an important telepathic message, his look urged.

"Challenge…Accepted." Robin beamed, opening. "And here we are, article 113, subsection 113…a."

"Damn…" Ted shook head. "This is unfair, I don't think the internet copy has been updated in six months."

"Never challenge the wife-bro, Ted." Robin smiled. "Just don't."

"Hmmn…Ok, fine…" Ted fumed. "But he still mighta told me… And what happened on their date?"

"I'm still trying to picture Barney cooking…" Tracy noted.

…

"Barney…" a rather coy Anita Appleby at his door, in rather low cut green and black dress, clearly dressed to eviscerate. "So glad we finally managed to get together again….It's been a while…" Sultry tones. "May I…?"

"Certainly…" he stepped back to let her in…Just allowing her a view of the chain about his neck as she did so. "A crucifix?" she eyed him. "Barney, I'm not a vampire." "What can I say?" he shrugged. "I'm the nice Catholic boy Mrs. Stinson, or whatever last she used when I was a kid, raised." All clear, ok, Marshall? He eyed the room's main video camera. ("Dude you were as worried about the vampire thing as I was…" Marshall frowned at the image of Barney on his screen. "Ok, Lil…Not a vampire!" he called.) Anita now gently kissing Barney's cheek, then looking about. "Very nice place you have here. I've only seen it from the door before though the outside foyer is really delightful. And I was glad to that your building kept a little more greenery around the front."

"Ah…"

"Yes, when I was tasered last time it really cushioned my fall as well as really making the place distinctive. I'm so looking forward to tonight…" coy and sultry smile.

"Thanks…So? No…'No'?" he smiled at her. Her composure breaking immediately…

"Oh, no…No, no, no…No more 'No'." she rather startling him by her anxious urgency. "I'm so sorry I pulled that with you, Barney. Really, no, 'no'…Please believe me."

("No, Ted…Anita didn't have her brain transplanted like that poor woman in 'Get Out'." Robin eyed Ted's nervous look. "Though of course had she gotten her hooks into Barney that night, the Dyad folks were doing some interesting things in that field.")

"Uh…Ok…Good. Great…" Barney smiled, a bit nervously. "Why don't you have a seat and I'll bring you some wine?"

"That would be…Lovely." She resumed sultry tone, moving to the couch and taking a seat slowly, watching him as he moved back to the kitchen.

"Cabernet, Louvain '03 ok?"

"Wonderful…"

"Really sorry you weren't able to get through on my phone…" he noted from the kitchen. "And that building security here is so efficient."

"Oh, that's ok. My building's is good too. Though if you ever do choose to come by, I'd see instructions left to let you right in." she smiled. "Thanks…" taking glass from him.

"Great…" he nodded. "Well…" he offered his glass to clink hers… "To us."

"To us." She agreed, taking sip. "Oh, that's very good."

"My cab guy recommends it. In fact my cab cab as well my cabernet cab guy both recommend it." Barney noted, moving back to the kitchen.

"Say I hope you like asian stirfry…With beef or chicken or tofu, as you like." he noted.

"Sounds lovely…Beef. I could go for some thick, red meat." She eyed him.

"Oh, good…" he nodded, slight gulp. "Say, I'm so sorry about that 'superdate' thing." He called, as he pulled over some vegetables…Peppers, onions, shallots, and began chopping expertly.

"No, that was my fault…" she shook head, looking over to him. "I was mocking you, though I honestly did want to help Robin. You'd every right to say…What you said…" she gave a little tremble.

"Well, it was still a bit rude…Though I hope you weren't offended too much."

"I wasn't offended, Barney." She looked over at him, sincere gaze. "You gave me a wakeup call. I meant to help women in bad relationships not hurt men. Well, maybe hurt the bad ones a little." Wry smile… "But I was going too far… Abusing my technique. I see that now. And I'm so glad you've given me a chance to make this right."

"Really? Well, nothing to apologize for, I was making a pretty lewd series of passes."

"Because you love Robin and wanted her to be jealous." Anita looked at him. "I know, Barney. Hell, you gave the woman our date after weeks of trying to get me in the sack." Smile.

"Though I won't deny I was pretty pissed…But then I realized you must love Robin very much to forego a chance with a woman, well…Like me." Beam. "And I began to think things over and realized I'd been unfair to you. I'd seen you just as another jerk who needed his comeuppance. And Robin as someone who'd let herself be unfairly treated, a bit of a victim. You know, like all my titles "…You Dumb Slut".

"Well, Robin Scherbatsky is no one's victim." He noted. "Buttt…I'm not in love with Robin. I just felt I'd treated her badly. I mean not my normal 'babe, time to hit the pavement' badly, but as a good friend who deserved better."

"Barney…You're in love with Robin. Take it from me, I know the signs." She sighed, sipping.

He paused, then stepped out to look at her, intently. She, smiling, warmly now, to return the look.

"You're not here because you want to hook up with me, are you?" he eyed her.

"Ummn…" she looked at him. "Well…I thought I did. Really…For a while. I mean, no one's ever turned me down. 'No'd me. And even until tonight I wasn't quite sure…I mean you're very…"

"Awesome…Yes…" he nodded, filling in.

"Yes…But even before you no'd me. And sincerely no'd me…I know a real no from a fake, you know." Solemn nod.

"Please…" Barney nodded. "We're professionals, we can spot a fake 'no' to get the subject riled a mile away and turn it into a yes faster than I can take my pants off. I'd never've tried it with you. Respect." Offering fist bump…

"Respect." She agreed, returning bump.

"All right then…Why are you here, Anita? Why the pursuit when you say you're more or less over me? Was it just a challenge or…?"

"I need a favor, Barney." She sighed. "One only you can do for me. Though it has to be at the sincere level, fake won't cut it. That's why, after I finally realized why I was still trying to connect up, I came on so hard. I was hoping it would be sincere. I've lived a life of leading on and trickery, like you. But now I need sincere. My life depends on it…Nothing less." Downcast look.

"Intriguing…" Barney nodded. "Well, let me finish dinner here and we can discuss."

("And it was intriguing…But right now, I gotta pee like gangbusters." Robin rose.)

…..