Authors Note: This chapter contains mentions of sex. Don't like. Don't read

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Spencer got in on the drivers side and started for the pharmacy. "How are you feeling?" He asked

"Bit sore." She said

"How about emotionally?" Spencer asked

"Like I need to trust my gut more…" She said

"So, you did have a bad feeling?" Spencer asked

"Well yes and no. When we first started dating I felt something off, but he seemed nice. Charming. Always insisted on paying even when I offered. Than tonight after the date he asked to go for a drive, and we went I asked him where we were driving too and he seemed. Angry and on edge. That's when I made sure my location was on." She told him

"So, you knew I would find you?" he asked

"Well. I didn't know who I was calling. I couldn't let him see my phone. I pressed whatever number. And it wasn't yours. It was Derek's" She pointed out

"I guess you had no idea I was with him." He said

Lorelai shook her head. "But I'm glad you came."

"Of course. You're my friend. And my partner." He said

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Lorelai asked

"I'm sorry." He said

"For what?" Lorelai asked

"If I hadn't broken up with you." He said

"Spencer don't you dare blame yourself." She said

"Its hard not to." He said

"And you think its easy for me not to blame myself?" Lorelai asked "For what happened tonight. For the breakup? For everything that has happened to me? For what happened with you and Maeve? But you wont let me blame myself so why do you get to blame yourself?" She asked

Spencer nodded "Okay. Okay. Not my fault. Or yours." He said

"But you're sorry you broke up with me?" She asked

"I needed to do something to get your attention. I don't know if breaking up with you was the right thing. But do you understand where I was coming from?" He asked

Lorelai nodded. "I'm so sorry I ever made you worry like that. I've thought about it. You grew up basically having to take care of your mother. Not being given a choice really. And than I could see when it came to Maeve. The things you did to protect her because she couldn't protect herself. I know I screwed up and the breakup was necessary. Between hurting you and hurting the team with my selfishness and the unfortunate consequences I had to deal with. I'm not going to be putting myself in harms way intentionally again. I wont be ignoring orders again. Now the job comes with risks and if I cant avoid them I cant but not going to do anything that can be avoided. So. the breakup did get my attentions." She told him

Spencer nodded. "I'm sorry this guy turned out to be a jerk." He said

"And I'm sorry for everything you went through with Maeve." She told him

Spencer nodded again.

"How are you feeling about all that? I know its been hard." Lorelai said

"I'm okay. I realize that while I did care about and love Maeve. It wasn't the same as I felt with you." He said

Lorelai nodded.

Spencer pulled into the pharmacy parking lot. "Do you want me to go in with you?"

"Not necessary but if you want." She said

The two went inside and Lorelai gave in the slip for the one prescription.

"Give the one of the pain killers. At least have them at easy access." Spencer told her

Lorelai sighed and did so. She didn't want to argue right now.

They walked around the pharmacy waiting for them to fill the prescriptions.

"So, what have you been filling your free time with lately?" He asked

Lorelai chuckled. "What free time?"

Spencer shook his head. "You know what I mean."

"Same as always. Reading, drawing." She said

"Drawing anything specific?" He asked

"Not really." She said

"You usually have a specific thing your drawing." He pointed out

"Yeah. I had something I was drawing but I couldn't continue it…" she said

"What?" He asked

Lorelai sighed. "A picture of us." She said

"Oh." He said

"Yeah. So just been working on my technique really." She said

Spencer nodded. "Well, that's good. You know you could take some online courses for that too. If you want of course." He said

Lorelai shrugged "Maybe. I don't know."

"You always seem hesitant when it comes to anything with your art. Why?" He asked

Lorelai took a breathe. She never told anyone this and she wasn't sure she was ready to talk about it.

Spencer looked at her. He could tell there was something she wasn't telling him.

Lorelai went back to the pharmacy counter, and she was given her prescriptions. She was not ready.

They went out to Spencer's car and started the drive to her place. "You don't need to talk about whatever is on your mind, but you can. I will keep it between us if it will help." He said

"Its not something I have ever told anyone. Not even Rebecca knows." She said

"I get that. Like I said you don't have to talk about it." He told her

Lorelai looked out the window.

"When I was… I guess technically six. Jessica found my first sketch book. She was furious with me. Drawing was a waste of time in her eyes. That was the first time she beat me. Told me if she ever caught me drawing again she would kill me. So, I kept it private. She never caught me again. She put the fear in me and its taken me along time to trust anyone enough to show them my work which you have seen." She said. "Taking that next step and actually getting a formal education when it comes to my art… Its hard when I still have the voice in my head telling me it's a waste of time." She said

Spencer nodded "I get that. What happened to that first sketch book?" He asked

"She probably threw it out." She told him

"I'm sorry. That was an awful situation." He told her. "But you know that everyone who matters would support you 100%. Right?" He asked

Lorelai nodded. "Its just hard to get that voice out of my head…"

"Have you talked to your therapist about it?" He asked

"No…. Like I said no one knows." She said, "Except now you."

"I wont tell anyone. But I think you should talk about it with your therapist." He said

Lorelai sighed. "Maybe."

"What's the hesitation to talk to her about it?" He asked

"At this point. I'm sure I will have to explain why I didn't tell her sooner and I don't want to hear about it…" She said

"Lorelai. Come on. You know you can trust her." he told her. "I've never told you, but I saw her years ago for a few months. She wasn't the right fit for me, but she is a good therapist." He told her

"I actually wondered that. Early on she mentioned she knew a few of you from the team, something about a case but I wondered if there was more there. And I know she's a good therapist. I wouldn't still be seeing her if she wasn't. Doesn't mean she doesn't expect things…Like being open."

"Lorelai come on. She understands some things are harder to talk about than others. But its your decision of course. I cant force you." He said

"You're not wrong. I know. Doesn't mean I'm not nervous about it." Lorelai said

"I get that." Spencer said

"What about us?" Lorelai asked bluntly

Spencer took a breathe.

"Is there still a chance for us?" Lorelai asked

Spencer nodded. "I mean those feelings haven't gone away."

"But we both just went through something with a relationship." Lorelai said

"Yes. But one way to mend a broken heart is to just go for things." He said

Lorelai nodded "I agree. So, what does this mean?"

"I think we can give it another shot. But you need to stick to the promise." He said

"I will. I get it will take time to build that trust back up. But I'm willing to work through it. If you are." She said

Spencer nodded and pulled into her driveway and parked before looking at her. "Come on. Lets go inside. You can take your medication. And we can continue this discussion." He said

Lorelai nodded again and they both went inside. They went up to her room where she sat on her bed.

Spencer sat next to her. "So. I understand you promised, and I believe you mean that. I don't think in the past you ever meant to break those promises. But you did." He said

Lorelai nodded. "It will take time. And you seeing me keep that promise. I get it."

"Take your medication." He told her.

Lorelai went and got herself some water and took it before going back to her room. "I need a shower. But your welcome to stay. Spend the night?" She asked. She really wanted him to stay. And just be there with her.

Spencer smiled. "I'll stay."

"Good. You have some clothes here still anyways." She said before she went and took a shower. She came out after she was done.

Spencer looked up. She was dressed in a very short pair of pajamas shorts and a tank top. He watched as she brushed through her hair.

Lorelai noticed and smirked. "Yes?" She asked, "Would you like something?"

"Oh, I think you know what I want." Spencer said

Lorelai chuckled and finished brushing through her hair. She went over to him and kissed him softly.

Spencer gently kissed her back and pulled her into his lap. Their kissing led to making out which led to making love. Spencer was extra gentle to ensure he didn't cause her any more pain. But after the last year they both had and the night Lorelai had, had nothing was going to keep them away from the person they were really meant to be with.