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-Montosse

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The loose papers that were once scatted across the floor and every surface, were now resting in a tidy stack on the writing desk. All the cigarette butts were picked from the floor and fireplace and tossed in a bin. Lily had used one of his dirty shirts to wipe off dust and ashes. Lily considered returning back to the kitchens to get proper supplies. Severus would have to come first. If she could rekindle their friendship, that would provide her with extra protection from the other Death Eaters, somewhere to escape the house elves, and eventually a way out. Lily knew Marlene would be worried about her, but Lily also knew Marlene was strong. If she lasted this long in the castle, Marlene could go without her for another day or so.

Lily's stomach growled loudly. She hadn't eaten a proper meal in several days. The last time she ate was after the Death Eaters ate supper, and the muggleborns were clearing the dining table. One plate still had a tiny cut of meat and a crust of bread. Lily noticed other muggleborns picking and fervently chewing uneaten bites off the plates, but being very discreet in case any house elves or Death Eaters came into the dining hall. Severus didn't have a scrap of anything edible in his room. The lingering smell of cigarettes only made her stomach feel worse. Opening the door to the corridor was suicide lest she be spotted by a wandering Death Eater. Opening the window was her only option.

She gazed outside and took in the heavy clouds, drifting over the treetops of the forest. Her fingertips touched the glass. It was icy. Lily's breath fogged the window, and her fingers left clear trails on the frosted window. Her reflection looked back at her morosely. It seemed like a lifetime since she last saw her own reflection. Lily and Petunia had a vanity table in their childhood home; once the girls were teenagers, they bickered over the mirror. Lily also had a dusty dressing mirror her attic room near Diagon Alley, however she covered it upon moving in; fearing it could be charmed to spy on her. Lily looked at herself in the glass. She still had some leftover charcoal makeup smudged underneath her eyes and streaked on her cheeks. The gentle mahogany waves that used to be her hair was now a knotted, bushy mess. Lily looked sick. Pale skin, dark eyes, slightly sunken cheeks, and thin. Her first night in the castle already took its toll. The clouds kissed the treetops; if there was a threat of rain or a storm, it was a beautiful threat indeed. In the distance, a murder of crows settled in the woods. She couldn't help but admire her outside surroundings.

Lily's fingers found the window latch. She gripped it and pushed as had as she could. The window wouldn't budge. Lily tried pushing harder. Suddenly, the cold metal latch turned scalding hot. It was as if it had caught on fire underneath her grasp. Lily gasped and quickly let go.

"Where are you going?" Severus seemed to appear out of thin air. Lily only glowered; she didn't hear him open the door or come in. He looked at her with a crooked half-smile which quickly left his face after he saw her hands. "What have you done to yourself now?"

"It's fine." Lily took a step away from him. To her alarm; her palms were bright pink and covered with blisters. Blood was already oozing out of the burns. "I don't understand …" She whispered to herself. "It was only a small burn; it shouldn't look like this …"

Severus reached out grab her arm. "Why were you going outside?"

"I wasn't going outside!" Lily jerked away from him again.

"Sit down and let me see your hands."

Lily stubbornly sat down in the stiff leather armchair. Only now did she remember Marlene's words. Marlene already tried to escape through the windows, and in return, her hands too got bloody and burned. "You have all the windows cursed?" Lily said tonelessly; masking the pain of her stinging hands.

Severus grimly nodded as he looked at her hands. "Have to. That's how we know which ones tried to escape." He pulled out his wand and wordlessly conjured bandages. They coiled around Lily's hands like silk ribbons. "If a girl is acting odd; in a lot of pain, and she has bloody palms, that's a girl who tried breaking out through a window."

"And then what do you do?" Lily watched the bandages; they were calming to look at. "Kill her?"

Severus looked up at her. "Not right away." When he saw her disgusted face, he looked back down at the bandages. "Are you asking me if I will harm you for attempting to escape?" Severus asked slowly.

"I wasn't escaping!" Lily retorted. "It smells bloody awful in here and fresh air would us both some good!"

Severus said nothing. He finished the bandages and with a flick of his wand, the loose ends tied themselves together. "Ask me next time, please." She only rolled her eyes. They both kept silent for a few moments. Lily stared out the window; Severus looked at the ground. She craved to give a cynical remark, but decided against it. She reminded herself to play by the Death Eater rules. It was the only way to get a shot at freedom. "You cleaned up?" Severus asked quietly.

Lily nodded. "Yeah."

"You shouldn't have done that." He pulled out a new pack of cigarettes. "You didn't have to."

"Fucking honestly?" Lily snapped. "So you and your thick-headed friends dragged me here for nothing? What else am I good for around here?"

"Oh give it a fucking rest, already!"

"How about a bloody 'thank you' or are you suddenly above that since joining the Death Eaters?"

There was silence. Severus was about to light a cigarette. He looked down at the floor instead. Lily wondered if she pushed too far again. Years have passed. Both of them have grown very different and further apart from each other. Lily realized it would be harder to reanimate the dead friendship than she previously thought. Neither of them seemed too eager to put their guard down. Lily was too stubborn to put hers down first. If Severus could put down his guard first, Lily decided he would be worth it. Once again; Lily and Severus were locked in a silent battle of stubbornness.

"Thanks" Severus muttered bitterly.

Lily blinked. "Sorry?"

"Thank you."

Lily felt a sense of victory. "You're welcome, Sev." Severus lit his cigarette and blankly looked out the window. The brief victory quickly festered away. The wretched smell bothered Lily. It made her famished stomach queasy and stung her with every breath. Asking him to quit would push it. Lily looked at the floor. "So what happens now?" She asked quietly.

Severus slowly exhaled. "Well … it wouldn't be in your best interest to be back in service. With those hands; you're too easy a target."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you have two choices." He said tonelessly. "Choice one; you return to the kitchens and take your chances. Choice two; stay here and wait out the healing."

"Can't it just be healed with magic?" She scowled.

Severus shook his head. "It's of my own fabrication. There is already an agreement within the Death Eaters not to heal servants' hands. If a muggleborn tried to escape and her hands are healed with magic; she either stole a wand, or performed wandless magic. No matter however; she'll be slaughtered on sight; as will any other who has bloodied hands to sequester a potential uprising."

"Why would you create something so twisted?"

"It's not nearly as bad as it could potentially be." He said dryly. "Rather than just causing brief burning and marking the desperate muggleborn, her hands could have been impaled by spikes, trapping her to the window and leaving her in unbearable agony." Lily saw a sadistic glint in his eyes that deeply unsettled her. When they were last friends years ago, Severus was starting an obsession for creating spells of his own. Lily secretly doubted his ability, but nonetheless encouraged him to keep trying. He was far beyond teenage daydreaming now. "It could be designed so perfectly that if a servant ever thought about escaping and she happened to be next to a window, she would be thrown into horrible convulsions. Or instant death by touching with a single finger."

Lily felt a slight chill. "Why not just kill us off if that's what suits you?"

Severus blinked. The sadistic intensity was gone from his eyes. It was replaced with the usual coldness. "There is a sickening demand. Insatiable appetites of all spectrums must be pleasured; dining hall ... or bedroom."

She felt squeamish. "And you approve? You allow this to happen?"

"I never said I approved." A low growl rose. "I do my job serviceably, and I am generously rewarded. I participate, but not out of personal mission, but survival."

"Survival?" Lily scoffed sarcastically. "Well, Severus, how selfish of me! You don't like playing genocide and you feel like an outsider in your cushy tower! All this time I've been so concerned with not getting killed by your people!

Severus clenched his fist. "You're one to talk. How did it feel to sell yourself to some prat for a little safety?"

"James Potter?"

"Fucking who else?" He said impatiently. "Suppose he found out you were only using him? Then what? I can't imagine Potter would have taken kindly to that."

"I did what I had to!" Lily felt her face get hot. "I had no money and no one else to turn to! Potter is a fucking cunt but it was the only chance to stay alive! What else was I supposed to do? Whore myself in Knockturn Alley and change my identity? What would you do?"

"Survive." Severus flicked the dead cigarette into the fireplace.

Lily said nothing. Neither of them were happy. Survival isn't living comfortably or even getting by. Either on the run or keeping private, survival was a dirty business. Lily hadn't thought much about a plan if James and his family found out she was using them. Most likely she would have been kicked out. If she managed to produce children, it was unknown what would have happened to them. "You said I had two choices." Lily said quietly.

Severus pulled out another cigarette. "Choice one; you return to the kitchens. Most likely you'll be harassed by the house elves and any other Death Eater that sees you. Wounded hands won't do in the kitchen. It's certain you'll be sent out alone for scrubbing duty. I can't imagine the harsh lye and soap will feel pleasant on raw hands. And once again, alone in the hallways, you're bound to be forced upstairs against your will … or killed."

Lily swallowed. "Choice two?"

"Stay here." He looked at her. "No one will look for you. All I have to do is say you're evening entertainment, and no one asks a question. You won't have to do anything you don't want to. You'll be safe." There a note of pleading in his voice.

Lily picked her words carefully. "If I stay here, until my hands heal, who benefits?"

"We both benefit. You stay safe. I have someone sane to talk to. We both survive." Severus lit his cigarette. Lily stood up and snatched the cigarette from him. Severus only smirked. "Do we have a deal?"

She exhaled deeply. The smoke clouded around the window, turning the mountains and woods beyond the icy glass into a blank, white expanse. "We have a deal." Lily ignored her protesting throat and stomach and took another deep drag.