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Another note was found under the door that morning. A particularly foul one. Lily knew nothing of the notes. It was best she didn't, especially after this one. She couldn't be left alone. The note was so obscene. Among the Death Eaters residing in the castle, one of them knew his secret; perhaps a deeper secret than his adoration for the muggleborn. How much longer would they be safe in the castle before everything came crumbling down?
Severus waited outside the bedroom door. It was Lily's turn to get ready. He already had a few drinks earlier in a futile attempt to calm his nerves. She fucking loathes you. He didn't know what else to do with himself. How dare you participate in her imprisonment. Only three minutes, you're a fucking monster. The Ministry official would be some middle-aged wizard. It would be highly unlikely this man would be able to help Lily anyways. Severus would benefit from this private discretion, whereas Lily would not. And it sobered him. It was all Severus could give her without destroying himself. Bloody idiot. You have a job to do. Perhaps this was all a mistake. Maybe Lily would be better off locked up in the bedroom. But Severus couldn't crush her like that. He was reminded of the note; of what would happen to her if she strayed too far him. She already hates you.
"I'm ready." Lily's sudden appearance pulled him out of his thoughts. "Shall we?"
Severus couldn't move. "You look …" Lily looked … so beautiful. Her auburn hair was brushed down to her waist, wavy and soft. Her skin appeared brightened and buffed. She even had freckles on her bare shoulders. The silver strapless dress only enhanced her natural beauty. He wasn't anticipating the dress would be so tight on her figure. From the sleeves that reached her palms, the bodice that brought out her hourglass shape, and even to the bust that teased a ghost of cleavage. The rest of the silver dress went to the floor and pooled behind her, almost like a trickling river. Severus finally composed himself. "You look lovely."
"You look … very nice." Lily mumbled, clearly uncomfortable. Watching him awkwardly shuffle between his arm or hand was even worse. "Oh, for fucks sake." She gripped his arm. Of course he already smelled like firewhiskey. "If it's not me, worry about yourself!" Lily hissed at him as he led them to the garden.
Under any other circumstance, Lily would have laughed. The air was crisp and sweet, teasing the upcoming winter. After months of hiding indoors, the fresh air was almost too harsh on her lungs. A string quintet played under the gazebo. Every tree, shrub, and flower bush was speckled with glitter and white tule. Heart-shaped confetti was charmed to sprinkle over all the guests. They weren't even in the garden for five minutes and Lily already wanted to shake out the glitter and confetti from her hair. Purebloods were so stuck-up with their purity and traditions. Here she was, standing in the heart of the most affluent pureblood families, and their bloody garden resembled a child's snotty tea party. Her sister, Petunia, would be squealing with delight. Petunia probably decorated her own wedding like this. Only walking side-by-side, Lily really noticed how much Severus was taller than her, at least by a head. How much time had passed since their school years? Before her wasn't an awkward teenager, but a man. He did look rather handsome. Lily quickly looked away. Severus was still gazing at her. "Where's the one I'm looking for?" She broke the silent tension.
"That's the one from the Ministry." Severus muttered to her, gesturing at an obese wizard in forest green dress robes chatting with other guests. "Remember to wait for the reception. Don't leave my side or we'll both be in trouble."
Lily curtly nodded. "Oh shit, there's Narcissa." She rolled her eyes at the table packed with witches surrounding Narcissa, rubbing her scrawny belly and making ridiculous noises.
The string quintet changed their tune. It was time for the guests to take their seats Lily and Severus were thankfully seated together. An ancient wizard carrying a heavy black book stood at the altar next to Rabastan. The old wizard sharply flung the book open. "Beloved family and guests, be welcome on today, the most sacred of pureblood days." His voice was low and cruel. There was no joyous warmth one would expect at a wedding. "Today, the respective houses of Lestrange and Yaxley shall forge together!" Lily studied how Rabastan's bride walked down the aisle. She really did have a funny walk. She was awfully short too; Astrid resembled a child. Yaxley assisted her. He was beaming with pride. Were those tears in his eyes? Lily wondered if Yaxley was only Astrid's uncle, or possibly Astrid's father. "This union, blessed by their ancestors, shall be another testament of strength against the impure! Their heirs and offspring shall be another testament of strength against the impure!"
"This is sickening." Lily mumbled to Severus. "How much longer?"
"Just a bit, I hope."
Lily could feel her anger rising. Her dress felt too tight. None of this was acceptable. Astrid was an unfortunate, deformed person, and yet, she was so beautiful. Astrid's long dress flowed around her, her dark curly hair was speckled with white flowers. Astrid was dressed with diamond jewelry and a grand tiara. Her veil mysteriously danced in the wind behind her. She looked like an untouchable princess, another one of Mrs. Potter's porcelain dolls. Lily felt a rush of unpleasant emotions. How dare Astrid be so happy and beautiful. How could these prude pureblood bitches place Astrid, a misshapen runt, so highly above Lily and themselves? This was their idealized future built upon the massacre of muggles and muggleborns. It wasn't fair. Severus quietly cleared his throat. Lily didn't realize she was still tightly gripping his arm. She didn't want to keep holding him, but she couldn't bring herself to let go. "Will we have to get married like this?" Lily whispered.
Severus could feel himself turn pink. "I … I don't know." He muttered.
She snorted. "Once you're done with me, I'm sure your friends will scrounge up some ugly inbred sister for you to marry."
"What?" Severus had to stop himself from raising his voice. She was trembling and gripping his arm so tightly his hand went numb.
"She'll probably force me to be her handmaiden. I'll have to scrub her knickers and shoes, bring her tea and sandwiches and sweets." Lily couldn't shake the retched vision of Severus marrying some creature that looked like Astrid. But that was Astrid's purpose. Her only purpose. All she had to do was be pureblood and pretty enough for the family to marry her off to another one. Once that was done, Astrid would continue to live a comfortable, spoiled life if she could shit out viable spawn. He's disgusted by you. He only chose to breed you out of pity. Once he finds some inbred heiress, he'll slaughter you without a second thought. How could a Death Eater love you? "You'll probably have your bastard and me locked up in some cupboard under the stairs." Severus gently set his other hand on top of hers. Lily was brought out of her storm of thoughts and back to the present. Rabastan and Astrid had only just kissed. Yaxley was sobbing and hugging his wife. Suddenly aware of their closeness, Lily and Severus shifted apart. Their hands untangled. The guests were standing up and tossing more flower petals at the newlyweds. There was so much commotion. Lily took the opportunity. "I'm going to go." She raced away before Severus could protest.
Severus couldn't do anything but watch as Lily slipped into the crowd. Holding her back wouldn't do anything. Though he could no longer see her, he could still sense her. He could feel her anxiety clashing unpleasantly with her bitter frustration. He could still feel their hands together. Severus sat himself down at an empty table and poured himself a full glass of wine. Should they be married? Severus watched as Yaxley, the Ministry wizard, and old Cantankerous Nott sign parchments at the altar. A legal document would certainly bind them together in the eyes on the Ministry. No matter what side of the war the Ministry will choose, a marriage certificate would stand. No Death Eater or Auror could nullify it. Severus took a heavy swig. Unfortunately, if the Ministry decided to revoke sympathy to the Death Eaters, most of them would be sentenced to a life sentence in Azkaban. If he was sentenced, Lily would also be sentenced. It would be difficult to grant her freedom as the court would view her as a willing accomplice, despite her muggleborn status. Lily's only legal defense would be claiming control by an Unforgiveable Curse.
Where was Lily? She couldn't stray for too long. Almost immediately, he spotted her. Damn her! Lily didn't listen to what Severus had told her countless times. She had already caught the Ministry official. Was her dress pulled down? All Severus could do was stand angry at a distance and eavesdrop.
Lily approached the Ministry official with two glasses of champagne. "Are you enjoying yourself, sir?" Her voice was falsely sweet. "My apologies, I don't think I caught your name."
The fat wizard grinned, not bothering to lift his eyes from Lily's chest. "Please, dear miss, call me Clyde." Clyde snatched Lily's free hand and planted a wet kiss. "I find myself in rather unfamiliar company this evening. Tell me dear miss, how do you know the couple?"
"Oh, erm, we're close. Childhood friends of the bride." Lily lied. "One of my second cousins, rather!"
"How lovely." Clyde already finished a glass of champagne.
"Please tell me you've been reading The Daily Prophet? Did you know muggle …." Lily suddenly stopped.
"Mr. Wayside, it's a pleasure." Severus interrupted and shook the wizard's hand. "I trust you'll be sitting with the family of honor?"
"Oh, of course, that's how these weddings go. Always tradition, always tradition. They're so generous as to offer me the guest suite before I return to the Ministry tomorrow. I was so bloody excited, I almost forgot the Proclamation of Pedigree!"
"You honor us with your presence, Mr. Wayside, please enjoy yourself." Severus gripped Lily's arm and moved her back to the table.
She dropped the other glass of champagne on the grass. "Would you let me go?" She hissed. Once they were seated at the table, Lily wrestled her arm away. She noticed a significant amount of wine was already missing from the bottle. "Why did you stop me?" She muttered. "You promised!"
"I told you to wait until the middle of the reception! I intend to keep my promise, would it bloody kill you to do the same?"
Lily sat back in her chair with a huff and refused to look at him. "What's gotten into you?" She stared at the string quintet.
"I don't know. They're all getting into my head." Severus droned. "I didn't get any sleep. Someone kept fidgeting in her sleep."
"I'm talking about your behavior, how you're treating me." Her nostrils flared. "Since you've decided to sign me up for this heinous Death Eater wet dream, all you do is drink and treat me like shit! I'm tired of hauling you off back to the room after dinner. When you're drunk, are you aware that your nasty friends try to take advantage of me? Then the next morning, you're moody and looking for something to pitch a fit about! This morning, you blamed me for smoking all your cigarettes!"
Severus didn't interrupt her. He took a long drink. "What's gotten into me? What's gotten into you? Grabbing my arm and jabbering nonsense! All you do is talk, yet you haven't listened to a single word I've said. I told you, very clearly, wait a while during the reception. Then you're off flirting with the treasurer with your tits out of your dress!" He slammed his empty glass on the table.
"I was grabbing at you?! As if you haven't been gawking at me. You held me during the ceremony! I want my freedom!" Lily hissed as she yanked up her dress. "Why can't you fucking admit that you don't want it?"
"Is that what this is? Some schoolgirl attention stunt because you think I don't want you? If you asked me, I'll fuck you right now on the table!" It was too late. Severus knew he crossed the line. Lily couldn't form words. All she could do was gape at the drunken fool across from her. Her eyes and throat felt hot. Lily stood up to leave. Severus desperately reached for her. "No … no, I'm sorry. Don't leave, please."
"That's what you've been thinking this whole time?" She yanked her arm away. A single tear fell on the tablecloth. "How stupid … how utterly stupid of me to believe for even a moment that you actually cared. I was talking about my freedom, you pathetic fuck. Don't follow me!" Lily couldn't be still. She had to leave. Somewhere. Anywhere away from Severus. Anywhere away from all this sickening, artificial celebration. Lily vanished into the crowd of guests, trying to conceal her tears.