Chapter 12
"Darling, isn't that Michaela?" The woman pointed her gloved hand toward the medical clinic.
The man studied her for a moment. "I think you're right, dear. But, she seems to be crying."
The woman's eye squinted against the rain that was tumbling down the edges of her umbrella. "I do believe you're right. Something must have happened. Look at all the people standing around."
"Something is out of sorts." The man observed his surroundings of the small town.
"Come. We should introduce ourselves."
May 12th 1866
Michaela silently closed the door behind them. She slowly turned around, not wanting to face him, not wanting to face the truth.
"Michaela?" He tried to look into her eyes. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" She walked fully into the clinic and to her medicine shelf.
"Aren't you happy to see me?" he wondered.
"Yes of course," she smiled. "I just wasn't expecting you home so soon, is all."
"I told you I was only going to be gone for a few days." He moved in behind her and drew her into his arms and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I missed you and wanted to come home."
The arms that once brought her comfort felt like snakes circling around her, cutting off her air supply as they tightened possessively around her. She couldn't breathe, and she couldn't think, as she felt his breath on the back of her neck. "Jackson…I…I haven't …I don't know…"
Jackson suddenly let go of her. "It's because of him, isn't it?"
"Because of-"
"Sully," he finished her sentence.
"Jackson I-"
"I knew you loved him, Michaela. I knew that the first day I met you."
"I did love him," she finally admitted to herself. "But so much has changed."
"Has it?" he countered. "There's something different about you, Michaela. Something I see. Something I don't think I put there."
"You don't know what you're talking about." She turned back around to finish stocking the shelf.
"I've been competing with this man since the day I got here. But I thought…I thought perhaps-"
"Jackson," she clutched his hand. "I do love-"
"Is that enough?" he squeezed her hand back. "Is that enough for you to say yes?"
"I need more time, Jackson. I just need time to…to think."
He smiled. "Time…I will give you all the time in the world, darlin' because I'll always be here."
She lifted up to her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "I know you will be." She hugged him.
Boston
Elizabeth hummed to herself as she arranged the assorted roses in the foyer. "Yes, that's nice." She stepped back to admire her work.
"You are certainly in a grand mood today, Mrs. Quinn." A rosy cheeked Martha entered the foyer all smiles.
"Ever since you received that telegram from Miss Michaela, you've been beaming like stars, you have."
"Well my daughter finally has her head on straight. She's getting married, and I couldn't be happier." Elizabeth smiled, clasping her hands together and bringing them to her chest. "To a suitable man."
"I'm very happy for Miss Michaela, ma'am. There was always something special about that child." Martha became teary eyed. "I do miss her so."
"Oh Martha, you always did spoil her. You and her father. God rest his soul."
"Well she was the baby…" Martha reminisced.
Elizabeth touched the red rose petal, "and that baby's getting married."
Colorado Springs
"I see Sully's back." Charlotte whispered in Michaela ear, as she dropped a can of beans into her basket.
Michaela pursed her lips, as she turned to see her friend. "He brought Hannah in. She has Scarlet Fever."
"Oh, is the little darling alright?" she hoped.
"It looks like she's past the worse, but I'm still a little eerie about her throat. Everything is still so red, and she's having a hard time swallowing."
"Poor child." Charlotte turned to look at her own little ones, as they helped Brian pick out some candy on the opposite side of the store.
"So where was he?" Charlotte turned to look at her fully.
"Who? Sully?"
"No, the King of England!" she rolled her eyes. "Of course Sully."
"He was living on the reservation." She spoke low.
"All this time…" Charlotte shook her head. "How are you holding up with him being back?"
Michaela turned back to the shelves and placed a few more items in her basket. "I'm fine Charlotte. Everything's fine."
"Really," she eyed her. "How's Mr. Tate handling this? I assume he knows about Sully."
"Yes, he knows about Sully. And that was over a year ago, Charlotte. I've moved on." She tried to assure the woman, but she was not quite sure she succeeded in assuring herself.
"Dr. Mike, I know you moved on with your life. Everyone sees how happy you've been with Jackson for the past year. But I also know you. Do you remember that talk we had a year ago? I know how you felt about Sully, and feelings like you had just don't disappear."
Michaela bit back her tears that were threatening to make themselves known. "Everything's so much harder now, Charlotte."
"Well of course it is, honey. Sully's back; that's gonna complicate things." She touched her back.
"Jackson asked me to marry him," she revealed.
"Oh my heavens." Charlotte touched her forehead with the back of her hand. "What did you tell him?"
"Oh Charlotte, I was going to say yes. I wanted to say yes. But he told me to wait 'til he came back from Denver, and that's when Sully came back." Michaela looked up to Charlotte. "And he's so different, but yet the same in so many ways."
"What do you mean?" she wondered.
"He apologized for everything he said and did to me. He…he was so thoughtful. He told me he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me…for making me feel the way I did."
"Sounds like Sully," Charlotte smiled.
"But…but then he found out I was engaged…err…so to be, and he got so angry with me. It was almost like…almost…"
"Sounds like jealously to me." Her brow rose.
"That's what confuses me, Charlotte. Why would be jealous if…"
"If he wasn't still in love with you too…" She smiled.
"But, Sully's never told me… he's never expressed." She fumbled for the right words. "He's always skirted around saying what he feels…like me."
"Well you are in a pickle." Charlotte rolled her eyes.
"What do I do? I haven't the slightest clue." She pinched the bridge of her nose.
"This isn't something I can help you with." Charlotte was frank. "This is a matter of the heart…something for you to decide."
"But what if I make the wrong decision? What if I'm reading Sully all wrong…and he doesn't really want me? And what about Jackson? If I'm wrong about Sully and turn Jackson away I can't…I…"
"These are the things you have to think about. Dr. Mike, it isn't going to be easy," she told her. "And it's certainly not something you can let dangle around."
Two days later…….
"Are you ready for dinner?" He held out his hand.
"Yes almost. Let me just finish updating this file," she smiled.
"Did you go out and check on Mrs. Harris today?" Jackson questioned.
"Yes, I did." She didn't look up from her notes. "She sprained her ankle."
"I saw Mr. Harris today at the feed and grain, and he wanted me to thank you for coming out yesterday on such short notice. He really appreciated it."
Michaela put the file into her desk drawer. "It wasn't anything. Ready?"
"Sure am." Jackson escorted her out the door. "It's been awhile since we had a dinner at Graces."
"It has." She nervously linked her arm through Jackson's. "I haven't seen much of you in the past couple of days."
"I've been busy, and I wanted to…to give you some space."
Michaela smiled, as she walked into the café. "Where is everyone? Grace's is usually so busy on Friday evenings."
"Probably at home…"
"Jackson…" She knew better.
"Alright…I reserved the café for us," he grinned. "I wanna take ya out to dinner."
"What a nice…surprise." She looked around the vacant café.
"Mike, what's wrong? Don't…don't you wanna have dinner with me?" he worried.
"Of course I do, Jackson. I'm…I'm just not used to anyone…reserving an entire café for me…for us." She bit on her words, not letting the true ones fall through.
"Here," he pulled out her chair.
"Thank you."
Jackson sat down and uncovered a bottle of Champagne.
"Champagne?" She was impressed.
"My parents sent it to me. They said it came from France." He filled her glass.
Jackson sat back down and rose his glass. "To many happy-"
"DR MIKE!"
Michaela turned quickly at her named being called.
"DR. MIKE!"
"Dorothy?" Michaela rose from the table. "What is it?"
"It's Hannah! She can't breathe! You have to hurry!"
Michaela quickly turned to Jackson. "I'm sorry."
Before Jackson could utter a word, Michaela took off toward the back door of her clinic, her dress whipping behind her, as she made her way through the maze of tables.
Jackson sat back slowly, watching Michaela become further away from him. He picked up his glass. " Happy nights together…" He swallowed the sparkling liquid.
Michaela rushed into the clinic, threw open the heavy wooden drawer, and started throwing her instruments to the floor. "Where is it…" she cried.
"MICHAELA!" She heard her name being yelled from overhead.
Opening another drawer, she fumbled around until she found what she was looking for, hoping to God she didn't have to use it.
Michaela ran up the steps and into the first recovery room. Sully was on the bed next to Hannah holding her hand as the little child gasped for breath.
"She can't breathe!" he spat. "We were just playin', and all of a sudden she started gaspin' for air." His eyes searched hers frantically.
Michaela went to the little girl and pulled a tongue depressor out of her bag and opened Hannah's mouth. "Her air passages are being restricted. I have to do a tracheotomy." Her fingers shook.
"A what?" Sully became scared.
Pulling a bottle of alcohol from her bag, Michaela poured in on her hands, and the sound of liquid could be heard splashing on the floorboards. "Her upper air way is obstructed, and I have to make a small incision in her neck so she can breathe."
"Cut…cut her?" Sully panicked.
Michaela picked up the scalpel and took a quick look over to Sully.
"I…I trust you." His blue eyes clouded over, as he looked at his little girl.
"Place this over her nose," she instructed.
Quickly, Sully did as he was told and watched as his daughter's eyes slowly shut, and her hand went limp in his.
Making sure the child was under, Michaela took the scalpel and cut into Hannah's skin. Making the opening as small as possible to reduce scaring, she frantically worked as fast as she could. "It's harder to do this in children," she breathed. "Their larynx is soft and located in a more superior position when compared with an adult."
Sully watched as she made a vertical cut into the layer of her skin. Her hands moved with painstaking expertise.
"I have to be careful and not cut too deep, or else the posterior tracheal wall will cause injury to the esophagus. But if I cut too laterally, I can injure the recurrent nerves or the carotid." Her forehead creased in worry. "I have to place the Cannula in her trachea." She picked up the instrument she brought from downstairs and slowly placed it in.
Sully continued to watch, feeling helpless in his current state. His eyes darted back and forth between his daughter's face and Michaela's. The silence was killing him, smothering him in a blanket of worries.
"She can breathe," Michaela exhaled. "She can breathe."
Sully squeezed his daughter's hand. "Is she going to be okay?"
"We have to watch for Pulmonary Edema." She looked at Sully, confusion filling his blue eyes. She tried to explain. "It's a rapid influx of fluid across the alveolar wall because of the sudden change in airway pressure following a tracheotomy." Sully's brow narrowed. "Infection, we have to watch for infection. And when she awakens, she's not going to be able to talk. She's going to be afraid."
Sully looked down to his daughter and brushed her golden locks out of her eyes. "It always seems as though her life is in jeopardy. She's just…just a little girl. She's never done anything t' anyone."
"Sully…" She walked to his side of the bed. "She's going to pull through this. She's going to be alright."
"I don't know what I would do if you weren't here to help her. You've done so much for her."
"Sully I-"
"She adores you Michaela."
"Excuse me…"
"Jackson…" Michaela looked to the door.
"I brought you some dinner…I brought both of you some dinner." He held up the plates. "I thought you might be hungry.
"Thank you." She went over to him.
"Thanks…" Sully mumbled.
"How is she?" Jackson looked at the little girl lying in the bed.
"I had to perform a tracheotomy, and we have to watch her carefully."
Jackson set the plates on the dresser. "Can I talk to ya in the hall?"
Michaela gave a quick glance to Sully. "Yes."
Jackson placed his hand on the small of her back and ushered her in the hall, closing the door behind them. "How are ya holding up?"
"I'm fine; it's Sully I'm worried about."
"Oh…"
"I was so scared in there, Jackson. I mean I've done dozens of tracheotomies before… this was just…"
"Different?"
"Yes…" she breathed. "But I…"
"Because you love them…"
Michaela couldn't say anything she just wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a warm embrace. "You understand me, Jackson. And that's so, so very important."
Jackson just held on to her. He wasn't sure if she was accepting him, or pushing him away. He didn't know if this was the beginning or the end. All he knew was, for this moment, she was in his arms.
"I don't know what I would do if you weren't here with me right now. Loving me so unconditionally. Everything you do is so special to me," she cried.
"You know I would do anything for you Michaela, I love you."
Michaela closed her eyes, overcome by those three simple words. Slowly she lifted up to kiss him.
"MICHAELA!"
Michaela's eyes shot open mere inches from Jackson's face.
"MICHAELA SHE'S WAKIN' UP!"
"Go…" Jackson breathed.
Quickly, she kissed him on the cheek and rushed back into the room.
Boston
Fall 1871
"Where is that beautiful grandchild of mine?" Elizabeth Quinn held out her arms.
"Josef, say hello to your grandmother." Michaela smiled, placing the infant in her mother's arms.
Elizabeth closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet baby scent of her husband's namesake. "Oh, Michaela, he's beautiful!" she gushed.
"He's been waiting to see you for some time." Michaela smiled.
Elizabeth moved toward the settee, not taking her eyes off of the baby. "How was your journey?"
"Long…" she rolled her eyes.
Elizabeth looked up. "Where is that husband of yours?" she smiled.
Michaela looked out the window. "He said he had some business to take care of and would be back soon."
"Hummm…" Elizabeth fixed her eyes on the child. "He looks so much like you." Elizabeth caressed his cheek with her index finger.
"Really, I though he looked more like-"
"His father?"
Colorado Springs
May 14th 1866
"Hannah…" She saw the little girl twitch. "Hold her hand. She's going to need to know everything's alright."
Sully clasped her hand, waiting for her eyes to finally open. "Hannah…it's Papa."
Hannah sheepishly opened her eyes and turned to Sully. She opened her mouth to talk and only a raspy gurgle emitted. Her tiny eyes darted back and forth in terror. Her hand reached up to touch her neck.
"No sweetheart…don't touch," Michaela warned.
Hannah's head turned to the sound of Michaela's voice. Becoming scared she started to thrash in the bed, grabbing at her neck.
"Hold her hands back. We can't let her pull out the Cannula," Michaela warned.
"Hannah, sweetheart you're okay. You're going to be okay," she soothed. Michaela gently touched her neck. "That's helping you breathe, you can't touch it."
Tears poured out of the little girl's eyes, as she tried to talk, not understanding her situation. Her hands tried to move but were restricted to her side.
Sully watched his daughter as she mouthed his name. The words played on her lips, but no sounds came through. It broke his heart to see her so scared. He didn't know what to do. He held her hand and brought it to his lips. "I love you Hannah."
Michaela watched the exchange between father and daughter and felt her own tears welling in her eyes. Hannah's chin was quivering in fear, and fat tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. "Just try and lay still alright? How about you take a nap? How does that sound? Hmmm…"
Hannah shook her head, looking back and forth between Sully and Michaela.
"That sounds like a good idea, Hannah." Sully shook his head.
"No Papa..." her lips moved in silence.
Sully bit back his tears. Looking to the ground, he saw a familiar object. "Hannah look. Cloud Dancing brought this for you."
Hannah looked to her father, and her eyes brightened like the sky. She held out her hands and clutched the animal to her chest.
"She still has-"
"She hasn't left it out of her sight since you gave it to her," he smiled.
Hannah reached up and touched Michaela's hair. And searched her eyes.
"She wants you to lay with her," he told her.
"Oh…I don't think…Sully you're her father."
"She wants you," he smiled. "I'll sit here in the chair. It's late. Try and get some sleep."
Michaela walked over to the cabinet and pulled out an extra blanket and pillow. 'Here." She handed it to him and spread the blanket on his lap. "It can get cold."
"Thanks."
Michaela sat on the bed and pulled the covers over both her and Hannah. She little girl clutched onto Michaela's blouse, and she put a protective arm around her. "Sleep now… I'm here, I'm here."
Jackson watched the whole scene unfold in front of him from. The door was opened a crack, and he peered in. He watched as Michaela's eyes slowly closed, and he watched Sully. His eyes were so fixed on Michaela, they didn't even waver. Staring…just staring.
He looked over to the dresser and found the plates of food he brought were cold and discarded, just like him. He watched Michaela for a second and then turned around and walked out of the clinic.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
"Are you planning on closing up anytime soon?"
"I'll close up when I'm good and ready," Loren squabbled.
"Why don't you go over there, Loren?" Dorothy questioned. "Your granddaughter is sick!"
Loren's eyes saddened. "I know…"
"Abigail wouldn't want you to act like this." Dorothy was frank.
"Why do you always have to go and bring her up?"
Dorothy tried to search for the right words. "Loren, Sully is a good man. He took care of Abigail. He tried everything he could to fight for her."
"Where was he when it happened though? Where was he that night?"
"Loren, are you listen' to yourself? Are you going to penalize a man for going out hunting, trying to provide for his family?"
Loren didn't say anything.
"You know how he felt about it. You saw how he took off lookin' for her. He didn't come back till he found her." Dorothy turned to face him. "It's about time you give this up, Loren Bray. He needs somebody to help him."
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
You're not my friend anymore…I'll always be here…You stopped being that along time ago…I love you, Michaela…no this did….go…What did it mean to you…
"Mike…Mike…" his deep voice beckoned her. "Mike…"
Michaela opened her eyes to the familiar voice. "Father…"
"Mike." He smiled, opening his arms to her.
"Oh father!" She drank in his warm embrace that smelled of pipe tobacco and cologne. "I've missed you so."
"Missed me?" He chuckled. "What on earth for? I've been with you the entire time."
"So much has happened." She looked up to him. "So much."
"I know…your Sully is back. And that frightens you."
Amazed at her father's uncanny ability to always know what she's feeling, Michaela tightened onto him like a lost child. "How did you-"
"I've been keeping my eye on you Mike. I've been keeping my eye on both of you." His hand smoothed her long locks.
"Then you know…you know about-"
"I'm not here to judge you Mike," he smiled. "I already know how you feel."
Hot tears began to sting the backs of her eyes, and she cringed. "I don't know how I feel."
"Mike, it's there. It always has been," he reasoned. "I can see it."
"I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I thought I was so sure. I wanted to marry him…"
"I see him, Mike. He makes you laugh, and he makes you smile but, what does he make you feel?"
"I…I feel things that I've never felt before with Jackson. But when I'm with Sully my mind moves faster, he shows me things, and he challenges me. And… I feel things with him too, but there so different, so intense. And that frightens me."
"You need to make a choice that is right for you. What will make you happy? Your happiness means so much to me, Mike." His fathers pride broke through.
"I need help…"
"Oh Mike, you don't need my help," he smiled. "Just do what you always did, remember?"
Michaela softly shook her head, and her brow furled. She searched her father's eyes for some sort of reassurance, some sort of comfort, something to grasp and take with her.
"Back in the hospital," he sat her down, "when you felt you lost your way and you didn't know what to do, I always knew where to find you."
Her eyes closed in remembrance. "The hospital chapel," she murmured. "Sometimes I would spend hours in there after I lost a patient, wondering if I made the right choice."
"You always came out feeling so much better." He tried to show her, tried to break through her memory. "You always had your faith Mike. That's something you can always turn to when you don't know where to go. It will help you…look into your heart, and you'll find what you've been searching for, my darling Michaela."
Colorado Springs
April 21st 1863
Abby was stirring her tea, when Sully walked in the house with baby Hannah in his arms.
"What are ya doin' out of bed?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to make some tea," she said, staring into the cup.
"I think there is a little girl here who wants to see her ma," Sully smiled.
Abby bit her lip, and her breath caught in her throat, as Sully came near. "Umm… why don't you hold her while I finish my tea?"
"Are you sure? She's all you've been talking about on the way home."
"Yes, Sully just hold the baby!" She became terse and moved to sit on the bed.
Sully looked at his wife and set the baby down in her cradle. "I think you need to see a doctor." He was blunt.
Abby looked at her husband, as the cup and saucer dropped from her hand, and the tea seeped out staining the hemline of her dress. "You think I need to see a doctor, you think I need to sleep, and you think I need to hold the child. I can't do everything Sully!"
"Abby I never ask-"
"Look, see." Abby picked Hannah up from her cradle. "I can hold the child. I can hold her."
"Abby, be careful." Sully watched, as she swung the baby to and fro.
"I know how to hold my own baby Sully, or do you think I've forgotten?" she snapped.
"No, I know you do. You just look tired is all, and I don't want you getting sick."
Abby looked at her husband and then back to the baby that started to fuss under her grip. "What's wrong baby, what's wrong?"
Hannah started to get agitated and let out a mighty wail that shook the silence of the tiny homestead. "What's wrong with her?" Abby began to shake. "Stop crying, baby!"
"Here." Sully outstretched his hands. "I'll take her."
Abby clutched the child to her bosom. 'You don't think I can do it, do you? You don't think I can care for our child! You think I'm a bad mother!" she cried.
"Abby, I never said that." He tried to touch her shoulder.
"But I am!" she cried. "I'm a horrible mother that left her child alone at night. I don't know how to take care of her!"
"Oh, you do. You do," he tried to reassure her. "You're just under a lot of stress right now."
"Take her…just take her. I can't look at her right now." Abby handed Hannah to Sully and walked out of the homestead."
May 15th 1866
The heavy rain splashed down from the heavens, as Michaela exited the church. The clouds cast an eerie glow upon the earth that blanketed the town in shadows of darkness. She looked up to the sky and clutched the banister as she walked down the wooden steps. Her heart was heavy, but her mind was profoundly serious. She knew what she had to do. Her father was right; her faith would heal her heart and bring her home. "Thank you, Father."
Leaving the protective covering of the church awning, she set out in the rain. She could see the town folks bustling about, trying to find shelter from the sudden outburst of the storm. A lone figure dressed in black was running toward her, and it took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust from the rain.
"Reverend?"
"Dr. Mike, what are you doing out here in this storm?"
"I…I was at the church." She stammered, as raindrops fell from her lips. "Have you seen Jackson?"
The Reverend looked at her oddly. "He's at Jake's getting a shave."
"Thank-you." She turned to leave.
"Dr. Mike." He turned to stop her. "Is there something wrong? A reason you were in the church?"
"Everything's alright," she smiled. "I just need to see Jackson."
"Well alright then. Just be careful. The road is awful slippery," he cautioned.
Michaela continued to walk the small gravel pathway back into the center of town. As she crossed the bridge, a loud crack of thunder rumbled in the distance, and she could hear horses neighing in the vastness of the land. She hadn't seen a storm like this in some time. And it frightened her a little. Picking up her pace, she quickly walked through the meadow.
She was soaking wet, and her hands tensed in the pockets of her duster. She must have rehearsed a thousand times what she wanted to say to both Sully and Jackson. She hoped her thoughts and words wouldn't become gargled in the pit of her stomach before they hit the ears of the ones she loved. Her heart was thumping in her chest and becoming deafening to her ears, like a drum pulsating in an orchestra.
Almost reaching the center of town, she could feel the raindrops thrashing upon her head. Her hair was saturated in water, and it stuck tightly to her face. Each sound of raindrops hitting the earth vibrated in her ears, and that became the only sound she could hear.
Jackson walked out of the barbershop and opened a freshly bought gazette, draping it over his head to block the rain. He walked out from the porch and onto that of the Saloon. His eyes darted to the telegraph office across the street. He reached into his pocket to make sure the letter was still there, when his glance fell onto that of Michaela.
Michaela stopped in front of her clinic and saw Loren coming out onto the balcony. He shifted his weight and closed the doors, blocking out the rain. Smiling to herself, she remembered seeing him enter the clinic through the back door as she left. Not saying anything, she figured he had finally come to see his granddaughter.
Sully sat on the bench in front of the clinic, watching the rain beat down on the streets of Colorado. The rain was reaching the wooden planks of the porch, and he could feel the mist hitting his face. As he looked up, he saw Michaela staring up into the second floor of her clinic. She didn't even seem to notice him sitting there. He didn't understand why she was standing in the middle of town, soaking wet and staring blankly as if she was a million miles away.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, collecting the countless words and phrases that trampled across the lines of her brain. She felt as though she was being tugged from both sides of her being. She was being shouted at, pushed, pulled and strangled.
The rain was dripping from her eyelashes, fingers, and dress, as she stood glued to the muddy streets. Her breathing was thick and heavy, as she swallowed the salty downpour.
It rumbled under her feet and shook the puddles in the street. The neighing was deafening to those it passed as it came closer into town.
I have to talk to him now…
She shouldn't be in the middle of the street…
What is she doing…
The rumbling became louder than the thunder, and it was coming closer.
He's in the barber shop…
She's going to catch a cold…
She soaking wet…
It was coming around the corner, right through the center of the town.
It's time…
Both pairs of eyes turned to the rumbling of wooden tires crashing in the street. Four large horses pulled the full stage coach with no driver. Their head's moved back and fourth between the oncoming runaway stage and the woman standing in the middle of the street.
"MICHAELA!"
Her spell was being broken, as she faintly heard her named being called in both of her ears. Her head moved back and forth to the voices shouting her name. She didn't know what was going on. She could only hear the loud pounding noise of the rain seeping into her skull.
"MICHAELA!"
Voices shouted and bodies moved. Feet bounced and hands extended to the figure standing in the pathway of the death carriage.
She felt her waist being surrounded and pulled by two strong arms. Tightly, they extracted her, almost knocking the wind out of her. Her feet were being dragged through the mud, as she fell backward, landing in the embrace of a stranger.
She laid there in shock, not understanding what was going on around her. Her body throbbed at being pushed and fallen.
"Michaela!" he cried, pushing his hands urgently though her hair and touching her cheeks. "Are ya okay?"
She opened her eyes, and his face shielded her from the rain like a canopy. "Sully…"
"Are ya hurt?" He searched her body.
"What…what happened?" She slowly rose from his arms.
"Looked like a runaway stage. What were ya doin' standing in the middle of the street?"
"I…I heard my name…." She turned around, facing her clinic. She brushed the hair and fallen rain drops from her face when something came into view. "Oh my god…" she whispered.
Sully turned slightly to Michaela's view, and his eyes landed in the middle of the street.
Her body shook in fear. Her breath stopped coming, and her blood turned cold. "JACKSON!" she screamed out in sheer agony. "NOOO!" She scrambled to her feet.
Sully grabbed a hold of Michaela's arm after looking at the bloodied body. He could see his face was clearly shattered beyond recognition, and it made his stomach turn. "Michaela, no!" He held her close. "Don't look!"
"LET ME GO!" she cried. "LET ME GO!" She fell to her knees and tried to crawl to him. "JACKSON!"
"MICHAELA, NO!" He clawed for her, wrapping her in his arms. "You don't want to see him like his."
Michaela beat into his chest with her fist. "LET GO!" She struggled for independence. "JACKSON!"
Finally, with one desperate plea, she broke free from Sully's grasp. She dragged herself through the mud, where his lifeless body remained motionless. Her hands clasped his torn shirt.
"Jackson-" she sobbed. "Jackson, no! Not like this! No, please-"
She stared at his bloody chest, her eyes not able to look at his mangled face. She laid her head on his chest, trying to discern a pulse but all she could hear was the rain falling on top of them, seeping them further into the earth. "You can't Jackson, you can't!" Her hand shook, as she held his hand trying for a pulse. "NOOO…." She whined. "NO!"
"Michaela…" Sully placed a hand on her shoulder. "He's gone…"
"No!" she pushed her shoulder away.
"We can get someone to-"
"Leave me alone!" she screamed. "It's my fault! I was standing…he tried to save me!"
"No, it's not your fault. Ya didn't know, Michaela. Ya didn't know!"
People watched in disbelief, as the trio lay in the rain. Men cringed, woman looked away, and children cried. The rain beat down harder around them, as Jackson's blood trickled down the path of the street mixing with the mud and the rain.
"Michaela we need to get out of the rain. I'll…I'll move him."
Michaela closed her eyes and held Jackson's hand to her face, blocking the wind the rain and the voices. "I loved you. I did," she cried. "Perhaps not the way you wanted me too. But I loved you the only way I knew how."
Sully heard every heartfelt word escape her soaked lips, and it tore at his being. And that's when he knew it was love. He loved her. He loved her, because he wanted to take away her pain, even though she was in love with someone else. He would have brought him back if that would have made her happy…if that would have made her smile.
"Come on, Michaela. Let me take you inside." He looked down at her, and she looked up. Never in his life had he seen eyes so sad…eyes so full of grief. She didn't even say a word. She just stared at him with her lips trembling and the rain falling on her face.
"I'll move him." Sully turned around and came face to face with Hank. "I'll move him. You should take her inside." Sully nodded and bent down to the ground and scooped Michaela in his arms. She watched her hand slowly leave that of Jackson's, as she felt herself being pulled from the earth. Her eyes caught a glimpse of his face before she shielded herself, clutching onto the lapels of Sully's shirt.
He carried her over to the porch of the clinic, as he saw three men carry Jackson's lifeless body to the church. "Let me down-"
"Michaela let me take ya-"
"Let me down…please."
He complied and set her on her feet. She looked out to the town and saw everyone standing around watching her.
"HERE IT COMES!"
"WATCH OUT!"
The stage came barreling back into town. But this time, determined not to let it harm another, men jumped, trying to corral the carriage.
Michaela's legs slowly buckled beneath her, and she fell to the floor in a heap.
"Michaela!" Sully tried to catch her.
"It's all my fault…all of it," she said between sobs.
"Michaela ya can't think like that." He held her shoulders. "Ya didn't know this was going to happen."
"I was being selfish!"
"What are ya talkin' about? You're the most unselfish person I know!" He looked into her eyes, trying to bring out her pain. "You didn't do this."
Slowly her façade broke down, and she collapsed into his arms. "I…I wanted it all Sully-"
"What?"
She heaved in his arms. "I was going to tell him I couldn't marry him."
Sully remained silent, trying to absorb his words.
"I'm being punished! It's my fault!"
"Michaela…I don't understand." He was at a loss for words.
She pulled herself from his arms and looked at him in the eye. Rain was dripping from his hair down his face. "I was being selfish. I wanted it all Sully…I wanted it for myself. I wanted you."
He was speechless. No words could even convey what he felt at that moment. He was completely and utterly numb from head to toe. Her eyes just looked into his, and she had no expression on her face. They were both just there, just two humans sitting on a clinic porch looking into one another's soul.
"Michaela?"
A woman's voice broke through the silence of the rain. "Michaela is that you, dear?"
Michaela looked up at the people standing before her. They looked oddly familiar to her, but she couldn't place them. Her brow creased in thought.
"Oh dear, you probably don't even know us!" she giggled. "We're Mr. and Mrs. Tate. We just got here on the stage!"