No one really talks to him today.

Plenty of people approach, and talk at him but Yusei isn't really there. He hears the words, hears the my condolences, I knew you used to be close friends and he used to be such a good kid, it's a shame it had to end this way , but he doesn't feel the words, just like he doesn't feel the way Crow's hand pulls on his shoulder after every hour or the how Martha holds his hand in hers when it's all said and done.

He doesn't feel the punch Jack throws at him either, when they're the only ones left in the graveyard - a ragtag bunch of kids in suits that don't fit, and Yusei is so infinitely slow in processing the ground that's suddenly beneath his hands, that the stinging in his cheek doesn't register, not anymore than the events of the last couple weeks.

Jack's shouting something, but the words don't make any sense. Crow shouts something back, indignant and furious. When Yusei looks up from the ground, dirt beneath his nails and mud smearing his jacket, he sees Crow and Jack fighting, punching and kicking, screaming before Jack throws Crow aside and storms off. He doesn't look back.

Something about the way Jack leaves, like a sudden gut punch, a knee jerk memory from weeks ago, gives Yusei the clarity of mind to at least pull himself over to Crow. He's got a bruised eye and a split lip, and angry tears he's trying very hard not to shed. He shoves Yusei away, wearing the same miserable expression he wore when he left their house weeks ago, but today, today Crow doesn't leave him alone with the ghost of their friend.

Yusei wonders when they had begun to fall apart. Maybe it was when Jack started to drift off, spending less and less time with the three of them, or when Crow started to become so distressed with their lives, so angry with what it was and what it was shaping up to be. Maybe it was when Yusei had tried too hard to keep them together, that he missed all the cracks in their bond and let it all fall to pieces.

"You're always afraid of taking chances," Jack said.

Crow tries to make peace by taking him out to lunch the next day. A sort of, 'sorry I nearly shoved you face first into a gravestone' apology, without undertones of things neither of them seemed willing to admit.

Yusei accepts, mostly because when Yusei passes by the windows around 3 pm, Crow is there, his face shoved up against the glass, waving coupons for a meal somewhere in one hand.

Yusei's apartment in on the 3rd floor.

"We're going out to eat," Crow says, when Yusei opens the window enough for him to climb in. "Bolster our bonds. Eat something cheap and affordable but filling because I bet you haven't eaten in a week so it falls to me to keep you alive. You know, the usual stuff?"

Crow smiles, scratching the back of his neck and ducking his head a little.

Yusei tries to smile back.

Crow has the grace to pretend that he's successful at it.

It's called the Millenium Puzzle Cafe & Restaurant. The 'cafe' part is a small counter at the front with a couple of small chairs clustered around it, and the back leads to a larger area with more space and booths. It's almost completely empty apart from the staff, and looks - strange, but the prices were affordable even without the coupons, so Yusei just shrugs when Crow sends him confused looks while pointing at what looks like a sarcophagus in the main dining area. Aesthetic, maybe? Yusei tries to convey that theory with just his expression, but somehow Crow seems even more distressed as a result.

Yusei pulls at his face a little, wondering what's wrong with it.

They're seated by a boy - man? - with flat, pointed hair, a few strands of blond being the only parts of it not defying gravity. The boy gives Yusei a strange look, but Yusei is too busy trying to make sense out of the menu to say anything (what was "Exodia Obliterate" supposed to be?) or apologize for the dust in his hair or the grease across his face. Now that they're farther in, Yusei can see there's still no one else in the entire restaurant. He's not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Crow asks him what he wants. Yusei doesn't know.

"Hi!" The waiter comes by, pouring them water and blissfully unaware of the tension in the air hanging around them. His hair is two shades of brown and he looks to be about their age, maybe somewhere in high school. "My name's Judai, I'll be your server today. Do you guys know what you'll be ordering or do you need more time?"

Crow looks at Yusei, who mechanically orders the first thing off the menu that looks cheap. Numbers. Numbers he can work with: formulas, equations, and one clear answer among them. Crow frowns at him.

"Yusei," Crow says. "That's fish. You hate seafood."

"Oh," Yusei blinks. He looks again.

Judai stands between them, looking like he wants to say something, opening and closing his mouth several times before he just shoves a pen in his own mouth to stop himself. Yusei, distracted by this, thinks about the ingestion of ink and accidentally orders something with octopus as his next choice.

Crow sighs.

"We'll both have the lunch special," He tells Judai, who puts that down on a notepad with a second pen. "The uh, Catapult Turtle Sandwich…?"

"'Kay," Judai says, his words coming out distorted around the pen. "It 'il bee ou' sow'n."

When Judai leaves, Crow turns to Yusei, who's still thinking about the chemical properties of ink. He hands itch for a pen, and scratches at the table with gloved hands as a poor substitute, wanting to throw his muddled brain into something to do, because the alternative isn't appealing. He wants to - to redesign the color scheme of his bike, or fix the user interface, or re-tune the engine - anything that wasn't rooted so strongly to back then , to today , and more frightening, a tomorrow without .

Crow opens his mouth, and Yusei realizes where this is going.

"I'm sorry," Crow says, at the same time Yusei does.

Apparently, two people saying the same exact word but not the same exact meaning have a canceling effect on the other, because after that the two of them sit in silence. Crow taps at the table with his fingers. Yusei looks away and counts the seconds, kept in time by a metronome - a clock on the wall, obnoxiously loud, the like ticking of his heartbeat.

"We can't live like this," Crow says, shattering the rhythm. " You can't live like this."

"Who says that's the idea?" Yusei answers, flatly.

"Don't you dare," Crow says, face scrunching up like he's about to cry. "You don't get to pull this shit. Not after Kiryu. Not after everything we've been through. You don't - you don't just get to drop out of this because things are harder now. We have to stick together."

"If it were that easy," Yusei murmurs. "Then we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

Yusei knows Crow's first impulse is to stand up and scream, to slam his hands on the table and shout; it's in the way his shoulder go rigid, how his hands curl into fists and go white. Crow doesn't deserve this, Yusei knows. Has always deserved better. But Yusei is markedly more interested in what's better for his friends (friend, singular, he's lost the rest, isn't fit to even have the one) than he is in being truthful. And it's better for Crow to be angry than get dragged down with whatever downward spiral Yusei is headed toward.

(He never was any good at convincing Crow to do anything.)

Crow just - doesn't scream, doesn't leave. He reaches over, and grabs Yusei's wrist, thumb held over a vein.

Counting his heartbeat, Crow looks him right in the eyes.

"I know what you're trying to do," Crow says, voice thick. "And it's partly my fault, I didn't know you were carrying around the guilt and burden of maintaining our dying friendship as a group. I was too busy looking after the kids, thinking that you were content just - fixing up machines, staring at the stars, trying to keep Kiryu from being alone. I'm sorry. I'm your friend, I should have noticed."

Somewhere, something breaks, and his heart feels like a chunk of lead in his chest.

"Kiryu is not your fault," Crow says. "And I know you think you're trying to prevent a repeat of that by letting Jack walk away, by trying to push me away. You think I don't know you, Yusei? We've been together since you and Jack pulled me out of that gutter when we were kids. You're my best friend, idiot."

"You deserve better," Yusei tells him.

"So do you," Crow answers, and gives him a crooked smile.

Figures. They were both stupid.

"Kiryu lost everything, and I don't want that to happen to you too," Crow says, like a punch to the gut. "His decisions, his choices - they are not on you, or me, or Jack. You tried to help, like you always do. I left, because I couldn't stand the choices he was making. And neither of us managed to convince Kiryu to stop by doing what we did. But you know there was shit we could do when he made up his mind about something. "

"We should have noticed," Yusei says quietly, fingers curling inwards and digging into his palms. "Why didn't we notice before it became too late?"

"I don't know," Crow says. "Why did Jack start hanging out in that abandoned theatre? Why did you start spending your days drawing up blueprints for a motorcycle? We just started to all do our own things, Yusei. And... one last thing about Kiryu, I swear: you did the right thing calling the cops, you know."

"...That's nice of you to say," Yusei looks away, a sickly feeling swelling up in his stomach.

"I'll keep saying it too, because goddamn we are all really stubborn," Crow says. "Over and over until you believe me. Friendship indoctrination."

"Brainwashing," Yusei says, a corner of his mouth tugging upward. "Creative."

"I'm nothing if not innovative," Crow winks. "You ever try actually getting like five kids to go to bed, at the same time ? You need to be not just a top notch negotiator, but like, scary good at convincing people you actually know what you're doing. Who thought giving me this much responsibility was a good idea ?"

Crow sounds a lot like Martha now, Yusei thinks, and wonders when Crow started acting like a second parent to all the younger children in the orphanage, grown from the brother to the two kids he met on the street years ago, arguing about a card game. Wonders if that's what Crow wants to be, a parent one day, and an unfamiliar feeling blooms in his chest. Knowing what you what you to be in the future, and knowing how to pursue it.

"Crow," Yusei starts, wanting to say too many things at once. But the feelings jumble up in his throat, so he tries to say them all in one sentence instead: "You… the kids are lucky to have you looking out for them."

"Tryin' to flatter me huh? Don't think you can distract me from the topic at hand," Crow says with a laugh, brushing his hair back. But the words start to mend bridge, all the the same, because Crow lets the topic slide, the conversation unresolved but not abandoned - put aside for another day, with a promise that another day would definitely come.

It almost helps.

They talk a little too long about nothing, about everything - Crow checks on his phone while drinking water and nearly chokes, because the time reads nearly 8:30.

"Kids," Crow says, with a laugh. "You know how it is, can't leave 'em alone or I'll return and find out they ate all the crayons in the house or something. Gotta get back before Martha leaves for work, y'know?"

Yusei doesn't know, actually, but he gives a small smile and nods anyway. He tries to insist on paying but Crow threatens him with bodily harm if he does. Yusei still tries to pay despite this but Crow nearly wrestles him to keep him from reaching his wallet. (" I'm the one who took you out to lunch, why the hell do you think you should pay? I have coupons stop fighting me on this. ")

Eventually Crow leaves the bills on the table with a tip, slugs him on the shoulder, promises to text him later, and practically runs out the restaurant with his leftovers in a bag.

So then it's just Yusei in the vaguely Egyptian themed restaurant that... didn't actually serve any even vaguely Egyptian-style food.

This place is odd, Yusei thinks, because it didn't look like it fit in and it certainly didn't seem to care. The decor was all over the place, like maybe they didn't have the money to buy a set theme so they scrounged around for furniture resembling what they liked instead. The food was far from picture perfect but it was good and it was affordable, the staff seemingly kind, the building a couple of odd turns from the subway, and just a few blocks away from a much more popular and expensive restaurant.

Kiryu would've liked this place , and the thought hits him like a truck.

His head hurts, or maybe it's his heart, so Yusei takes a sip of water and tries to stand up, to go back, back home and back far away from the ghost he's trying so hard to avoid.

An entire pitcher of water slams down on his table, knocking over his dish of cold food and scattering its contents across the entire table, and the waiter takes a seat right next to Yusei, who first looks to the food that's scattered across the table and then slowly to the brown haired waiter that's now staring him very intently in the face.

"Okay," Judai says, his voice strained and his expression painfully earnest. "You - you are in a lot of pain and I can't offer you a free meal because I'm working but please drink this entire pitcher of water. "

"What." Yusei says.

"I was listening to your conversation," Judai tells him, with no hint of shame. "Off and on, at least. I don't understand most of it. This Kiryu guy. Don't know what happened because you're very unclear. But tell me how I can help. "

Yusei's mind is completely blank.

"Let me help you," Judai continues. "Because anyone who orders Atem's fish casserole - intentionally or not - needs serious help because it tastes like a calamari massacre drenched in salad dressing. And I can help, trust me, once my best friend had his favorite ruby gem beast doll tossed into the river and he cried for a week so I gave him my favorite Neo Spacian plush but it wasn't the same and I spent so much money trying to get him a new ruby beast one from a claw machine and -"

What the hell.

Yusei makes some kind of sudden hacking noise that bursts out of his chest.

It takes him too long to realize it's laughter.

"Judai." The boy who seated them appears, a soft voiced individual who came out of nowhere as far as Yusei could tell, but through his blurred vision and his laughter hitting a crack in his voice, Yusei can't tell much of anything really.

"Hi Yugi," Judai says, with a sheepish smile.

"Usually the waiter doesn't join the customers at their table," Yugi says, sweeping his eyes across the table that looked like it have survived a minor food tornado, and then at the people sitting at it - Judai, looking like a bottle of soda that just had a couple of mentos shoved inside, and Yusei, who has never cried and laughed at the same time in his life and was making an ugly mess of it for his first go.

"Yugi, I -" Judai actually looks like he's stopping to think before he speaks. "We have to help. He looks like me, like how I was before I came here."

Yugi makes a quiet hum at this, and then turns on his heel and stalks towards the door. He flips the sign, CLOSED now facing outside. He moves to the back of the room where a door that said Employees Only, pushing it open a crack and shouts, "Atem! We're closing up early today!"

His reply comes in the form of a massive clatter of pots and pans, but it seems to be an acceptable response to Yugi, who nods and closes the door, heading back to their table. Yusei finally breaks into a coughing fit, ending his laughter and cutting off his tears before they can escape. He throws his hand to his mouth to cover it and tries to internalize the fit, body shaking with every cough he doesn't let out.

"Hey, stop that."

Judai shoves Yusei's glass to his face, pushing it into his cheek until Yusei finally takes the glass himself and drinks from it. It's lukewarm and he doesn't feel any better for having drank it, but it helps stop the coughing.

"I don't -" Yusei says, and his voice breaks. He tries again, softer. "Please don't close up on my account. I'll be fine. I can leave."

"No, you won't," Yugi says, lightly. "You're going to stay put with Judai for a bit."

"You'll feel better after you drink some more water," Judai says. "Sorry about earlier, uh, I have this habit of butting in when I think I can help. You reminded me of, well, me , when I was in my third year of high school."

"How so?" Yusei's voice is barely above a whisper. The only volume he can trust his voice at right now.

"You look like you've lost an important friend," Judai says, and that's all it takes for everything to come apart in his head.

Yusei can't see, he can't see because it's all tears and unwanted memories now, and he grits his teeth because he's pissed and he's miserable and he's never known how to acknowledge those feelings, always brushing them aside because there was never anything useful out of being angry at his friends or sad about his life, but now it's too much, it's overflowing and he's bothering some strangers with his grief and Yusei doesn't know how to stop.

Yugi pours him another glass of water.

Atem makes him eat the food he cooked. Yusei doesn't taste anything, but his stomach stops growling and the man looks satisfied once the plate is cleared, so it's a win for somebody he guesses.

Yusei doesn't talk. He doesn't tell them about a boy named Kiryu Kyosuke, who Yusei looked up to more than anyone. Kiryu, who taught him how to find something worth living for, and how to fight for it; how to throw an effective right hook, and ruffled his hair the first time he got it right. Kiryu, who took in three directionless brats with no dreams and no future, and gave them hope, showed Yusei, Jack, and Crow how to look at the slums and see potential, not garbage. Kiryu, who started down a dark path that Yusei didn't see, didn't know of it until Kiryu had a gun pointed at an officer and pulled the trigger.

Yusei doesn't tell them how Kiryu was arrested after Yusei called 911, staring down an alley full of blood and none of it Kiryu's, or how Jack and Crow had to physically restrain Kiryu until the cops took him away, Kiryu spitting Yusei's name out along with the word traitor .

There were signs, red bright neon signs that say you should have known and you failed him , times when Yusei scratched the surface but was too stupid to look any deeper.

Hindsight is 20/20 but Yusei might as well have been blind, then and now, because he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to shut it all down, because he can still hear the sound of the gun firing and traitor traitor traitor and -

And Kiryu was right.

Yusei should have just said it was him. That he shot the officer. That he was disillusioned with the system and their lives, that he believed starting a war with the law itself would free the oppressed from their place at rock bottom. Then, Jack and Crow could have gotten Kiryu the help he needed, could have been there for him like Yusei hadn't, and it would've just been Yusei that died alone in that cold prison cell. Yusei would have never betrayed Kiryu, for want of a nail. That should have happened instead, but it didn't. It didn't, and that hurt, that Kiryu died when he had so much life to him and died alone from an unfair and cruel death, murdered by those sworn to 'serve and protect'; it hurt like an open wound with something festering in it, but more than anything, Yusei can feel the broken bond like shrapnel in his heart. Because Yusei knows Kiryu died hating him.

It's all shrapnel and poison, tearing his body apart, and Yusei feels sick, and it has nothing to do with the food he can't even taste.

He doesn't tell these strangers anything, but somehow they look at him like they know.

"Why are you doing this?" Yusei asks, eventually, when it's just him and Yugi at the table, Judai off to wash the windows and Atem following to make sure he didn't break them somehow.

"Here," Yugi answers instead by taking him by the hand, and pulling him to his feet. Yusei's head throbs, but he can stand without the world feeling like it was about to fall out from under him, and that's progress if nothing else. "Come with me for a second."

And Yusei, who has been raised to be suspicious of the fake kindness of strangers, lets himself be pulled along, because there's something warm about Yugi Mutou that Yusei recognizes, the same kind of warmth that Judai had when he said let me help you and Atem had when he stood over his table and ordered him to eat. The same of warmth he felt when he was six years old, when Crow and Jack were grinning at him with their fists bumping against his, laughing and happy and together.

The warmth he had when he met Kiryu, who led the way with an open hand and a satisfied smile.

Yugi leads him to the kitchen, making Yusei stand in front of a stove while Yugi brings over a couple pans and then ingredients: tomatoes and spices and a bowl of noodles from the fridge.

"How well can you cook?" Yugi asks.

"I don't know," Yusei says. Apart from basic sandwiches and microwaved freezer dishes, Yusei hardly even works with food, and most of the time leaves it to his roommates Blitz or Nerve to cook. "I've never really tried."

"Then today we're going to go over some basics," Yugi smiles. "Pasta is pretty good for beginners, so that's what we're going to do."

Yusei nods, because he's learned so far that arguing with these people seems to get him nowhere.

Pasta is fairly simple, so Yugi says, but because cooking is precise Yusei has to concentrate on timing and precision, and it's enough that it's all he's focused on. Listening to Yugi's voice as he goes over the instructions. Repetition of cutting, stirring, and mixing, keeping track of how much more time the noodles need to be the right kind of soft and making sure the sauce doesn't burn. Adding the correct amount of salt and seasonings. Focus on a single goal. It's simple.

It's blissfully simple, and for a while that act of making something is distracting enough that Yusei almost forgets.

Yugi tries his pasta, when all is said and done. So does Yusei, and it's something of a success; not quite al dente and the sauce was a bit runny, but it wasn't bad. Yugi smiles at him, looking a bit like a proud teacher, and Yusei guesses cooking might be - productive, if nothing else, a clear cut goal and creating something worthwhile at the end. Almost like pulling together scraps and making a machine.

Atem comes by soon after, with Judai trailing after him carrying cleaning supplies.

"So," Atem eyes the plate in front of Yugi. "Verdict?"

"He's a quick learner," Yugi says, shoving another forkful into his mouth. "And if what Judai says is true, having someone who could fix the stuff you two break would save us a fortune."

"I do not break things, these two are vicious liars ," Judai tells Yusei, as he knocks over a cup of water. "Uh."

"...Fix what stuff?" Yusei asks.

"The cash registers broken," Atem says, shrugging. "I think it's defective."

"It's not the defective one when you break the other register and the backup register as well." Judai mutters. " And nearly destroyed our only dishwasher."

"But how do you know I can fix them?" Yusei presses.

"You have that mechanic look to you," Judai says, his voice taking on an air of mysticality. "I can see it in you. There's a very special look in your eyes, like the gears of destiny spinning in a strange direction. Strange like, uh, the High Priestess card in the… upside down position…?"

Yusei's special eyes stare at him, narrowed.

"I heard you and your friend talking about it," Judai relents. "I eavesdropped. You were literally the only customers I've had today okay? I was bored, Yugi was trying to make me learn this weird tarot card stuff with like a billion things to memorize. And like, you guys came in on the coolest motorcycle that I've ever seen!"

Yusei stares at Judai, who keeps making large and grand gestures with his arms as he attempts to visually mimic a motorcycle. He also mimes crashing into the ocean as said motorcycle, with screeching tire noises and what is probably is supposed to be the sound of an explosion.

"Simply put," Atem says. "We're offering you a job here."

"I think something to keep you busy would be the kind of thing you'd need," Yugi says, putting down his fork. "We won't pry, Yusei-kun. I understand you've had a rough few days, and talking about it may not be how you would best deal with it, especially since we don't know each other well."

"But we do know talent," Atem says, folding his arms. "Always moving forward is the best way to confront grief, as well as further improve ourselves and our potential. It seems like something that might apply to you in particular."

"Please," Judai begs, yanking Yusei's hands into his in a startlingly quick motion. Judai's eyes begin to water and Yusei finds himself staring into a pair of really big, puppy-like eyes. "I love working here but I can't deal with this on my own. "

"Um," Yusei says, looking at their hands.

"I barely passed woodshop in middle school," Judai says, still not letting go. "I can almost fix a wobbly table. If it was just minor damages, I'd be fine with that. But Atem - you haven't seen what he did to the toaster ."

"What do you mean, what I did to the toaster?" Atem scoffs. "It broke after I tried making toast."

"No," Judai rounds on him. "What you did in there was pure chaos. "

Between them, Yugi sighs.

"I… have to think about it," Yusei says, ducking his head. "Give me some time. Please."

"You can have all the time you need," Yugi says, but Atem interrupts with: "You can have the night. I expect your answer by tomorrow."

Yusei nods.

" Atem ," Yugi turns to him, frowning. "You can't rush him."

"Time waits for no one," Atem says, shrugging. "Life goes on with or without you. It's fine to be grieving, but not if it's to the point where nothing else matters. The deadline stands. We'll see you tomorrow, with your answer."

Yugi helps him put the remainder of the pasta into a container, whatever that Judai doesn't instantly eat up anyway, and hands it to him in a little plastic bag.

"Be safe on your way home tonight," Yugi tells Yusei, with kind eyes and a bright smile.

The air outside the restaurant is warm, a humid summer night with a mildly pleasant wind brushing past him. Not as uncomfortable as it was earlier, driving down a road baked in the typical summer heat, but not as cool as the building he just left. Yusei's not even out of the parking lot when he hears someone call his name. He turns, and Atem is striding out of the doors to meet him.

"Here," Atem takes Yusei's free hand and shoves something into it. "I think this will help."

"What's this?"

"A charm," Atem says, pinning an intense stare on him.

Yusei lifts his hand up, and lets it dangle in the light coming off the street lamps. At the end of a short and small chain, a bronze gold eye with two curved lines extending out from the bottom of it stares at him.

"The Eye of Wdjat, for protection," Atem spins the eye around, showing off a different blue and white design on the back, curved lines ever moving, with small stars flowing in between. "And the winds of change, for clear mind."

"I - Thank you," Yusei clutches the charm to his chest. "But why? Why do all this for me ?"

"Who says we're just doing it for you?" Atem smirks. "Yugi and I like to help people, that's all. Judai was someone we helped, and he paid forward that kindness to you. I leave this charm to you in the hopes it will allow you to focus on exactly what you need to."

Atem then turns and starts walking back to the building. Yusei turns away too, turning the charm around in his hands, only stopping when he hears Atem one last time.

"Your friend wouldn't have been satisfied with an ordinary life, even if it cost him everything," Atem calls out, the sound of his footsteps growing farther away. "And I suspect, neither would you."

How did he know that?

Yusei whips around, the words on the tip of his tongue and -

He is alone in the parking lot.

Yusei looks back down to the charm in his hand, at the eye that stares back up at him, flipping it over to the other side where the light colors and style makes it look like the wind blowing through the stars.

"You're always afraid of taking chances," Jack said, the night he and Crow announced that they were leaving. Kiryu was upstairs, locked in his own room, the walls covered in papers and half-thought out plans of rebellion. Crow had already walked out, promising to never return. "You think staying with Kiryu is the safer choice. It's not, Yusei. For either you or Kiryu, this won't work out. You know that."

Yusei looked at him, one of the people he'd known for all his life, and realized that his friends all had evolved into strangers at some point. He couldn't comprehend their words, couldn't understand the notion of just abandoning Kiryu, no more than he could understand Kiryu's new obsession.

"Kiryu is our friend, Jack. I'll talk him out of this. I have to help him."

"You're just too afraid to move on."

He closes his fist around the charm, and takes a step forward.

The next day, Yusei drops a toolbox on the counter in front of Atem, who doesn't look even remotely surprised.

"Where do I start?" Yusei asks.

Atem smiles, something genuine and welcoming, and Yusei feels the familiar sensation of belonging settle back in his heart.