Dolores knew that Mariano wanted to complete his apprenticeship before settling down, so there was plenty of time for things to fizzle between him and Isabela. When he mentioned marriage before, she and Isabela were barely 16; how many teenagers had she heard get together and break up all in the same week? Why worry about something that could be nothing? Someone was bound to grow out of their feelings, right?
But the courtship continued, Abuela approved too much. Mariano was often at the house, as Abuela believed it was important Mariano knew the rest of the family if he planned to join it. Having him over inspired little Maribel to write a song about her family to help him remember everyone and joked about adding him in when him and Isa got married. He would smile but Dolores couldn't help but notice that Isabela's breaths became sharp and she sucked on her teeth whenever it was mentioned.
She couldn't help but notice that Isabela never brought up Mariano and only talked about him if someone else did. She couldn't help but notice that when she did talk about him, she didn't says his name with the same floating tone that Mariano had when he said hers. She only said facts or repeated things others had said before, as thought summarizing a book she never planned to read. Dolores couldn't help but notice alot of things that Isabela did and didn't do about Mariano, but maybe her prima just wasn't as expressive with her emotions? Maybe her affection sounded different than most hearts, Dolores couldn't just assume it wasn't real. But she never said too much to Mariano, she never shared as much or planned as much as he did. But Mariano was a man of extraordinary effort and memory; what expressions could compare to the lengths he'd go?
How could someone not grow to love him?
But Isabela never said it aloud, so Dolores had nothing echoing in her head but her own secrets on the matter. She didn't pry; if she was right she couldn't risk breaking Mariano's heart by blurting it out. There were no victors there; he'd be lost to her forever and Isabela would never forgive her.
"Dolores, is Isabela almost home?" Mirabel whispered down the hall as Dolores sat reading on the balcony.
"Uh, almost," she replied, hearing Isa's voice bounce off the market wall at a degree letting her know she was facing Casita. "She just finished the last flower box."
"Okay, well Mariano is at the door waiting for her," her youngest prima called back. Dolores perked up, it wasn't Mariano's usual day to visit. How had he gotten here so quickly after his last lesson? She peaked downstairs and her previous nervousness fleeted.
"Camilo, what are you doing?" asked Dolores with a frown.
"Camilo?" came back a flaunting voice with a laugh. "No, no he's not here. It's just me awaiting for Isabela to return."
"Nice try, but Mariano isn't boastful," she said, shutting her book and standing up to walk downstairs. "And that's not how he stands, and his laugh isn't arrogant it's sincere and humble and he would never speak to someone without properly greeting them; his mother says its rude."
"Woah," he said impressed, changing back into himself. "I talked to Abuela and Isabela for like 20 minutes yesterday and neither of them had a clue. How did you know."
"That doesn'tt matter," she said quickly, changing the subject. "What are you doing?"
"I lost a bet with Mirabel and so now I gotta prank Isa," he explained, and Dolores heard Mirabel snickering upstairs. "I'm gonna tell her I have foot fungus and ask if it count as a plant. Or, Mariano will."
"And why would you do that?"
"I dunno, it was Mirabel's idea,"
"I wanna see her face when she tries to make her answer sound pretty," said Mirabel. "Senorita Perfecta can't say 'foot fungus' and still be a princess."
"I'm hoping the thought makes her throw up a little, but that's just me," joked Camilo, transforming back.
"What what did Abuela say about using your gift for pranks?" asked Dolores , knowingly.
"I've mastered this character, she'll never know," he laughed in the tone only Dolores could tell was defiantly not like Mariano.
"Not if I tell her," she sang, turning to walk away.
"You wouldn't," said Camilo, calling her bluff.
"I dunno, you know how hard it is for me to keep a secret," she teased. "I might accidentally go tell Abulea right now."
"You wouldn't," said Camilo, this time his confidence wavering. "Y-you don't even know where she-."
"She's in the kitchen!" laughed Dolores as she ran past him to the kitchen. Mirabel and Camilo ran after her pleading her not to tattle. Dolores ran to Abuela, with no intention on ratting them out just to give them a hard time, giggling hysterically to herself.
"Abuela," she called in an overdramatic sing-song way as she sprinted to the kitchen. "I have something to tell you."
Alma smiled at the sight of her granddaughter and touched her shoulder as she ran to her, laughing as she caught her breath. Dolores planned to stray string the kids align and end up telling Abuela something silly and unrelated to mess with them, but once Abuela asked her what it was, a new thought entered her mind. The sentence entered her brain and left her lips at the same moment before she could even attempt to sensor herself:
"Mariano is going to propose?" Dolores repeated, feeling as though the last bit on air in her lungs were attached to the sentence.
"Mariano is going to propose?!" repeated Abuela excitedly, she put her hands on her heart and exclaimed joyfully. "Oh que maravilloso, que dia tan bendecido! I must tell Julieta! Dolores, you must tell us everything at dinner! Estoy tan feliz por nuestra hermosa querida! Ha ha!"
She walked past Camilo still transformed as Mariano, running in to stop Dolores but Abuela grabbed him as she walked by. "Come Marino! It's never too early to plan!"
"No wait Abuela, it's me, please no; I don't wanna talk about seating charts!" Camilo yelled as he transformed back and promptly received the lecture from Abuela he had been trying to avoid.
But Dolores was left in the kitchen, frozen. She could barely process what she had said, what she had heard. It was real and it was happening. It wasn't fading, it was becoming permanent. Mariano wasn't thinking about proposing, he was going to. And she knew in his voice he would see it through.
In a daze, she walked upstairs and everything about her dissolved to a dull ring. She felt like she was tricked into saying it, like her saying it made it certain. Now it lived in the walls of Casita mocking her, forcing her to hear it forever. She knew she needed to tell Isabela, she had promised. Isabela hated surprises; she needed time to prepare the proper reaction. Dolores forced her feet to take her upstairs to repeat the phrase, hoping Isabela's reaction would make it sting less somehow.
"Propose?!" Isabela yelled, but Dolores' was too numb for it to hurt her delicate ears. "Are you sure?"
"When have I ever misunderstood someone?" she replied, no inflection in her voice. "Yes, he said he's sure; he's going to propose."
"How? I mean why? I mean when?" Isabela was uncharacteristically flustered. "This is just so sudden, I-."
"It's not really," Dolores said, speaking both to herself and Isabela.
"What?"
"He's very direct, he talks about it all the time," said Dolores.
"Well I don't!" she exclaimed. "I thought letting him talk about it would get it out of his system!"
"Well apparently not," said Dolores. "Letting him talk about it just let him think you were ready."
"But, but... he'll want to move his things in here and be here all the time," Isabela began to spiral. "And of course I want to spend time with him just not so much time! I mean... I can't... I don't think that means-."
"You can say no, you know," offered Dolores.
"Would you say no?" Isabela demanded and Dolores felt her heart coming to a screeching halt, the blood rushed to her ears and she withheld the automatic response to the question before Isabela added, "If you were me?"
"I can't-."
"If Abuela thought he was perfect for you and whenever she talked about your future he always came up?" she questioned begging to pace as tiny flowers sprung to life in her hair. "I-if he remembered every stupid little anniversary and doted on you no matter how many times you were late or ignored him or did anything that would any other sane person break things off? How can you say no to someone so patient and understanding who you have no reason to unless-."
"-unless you didn't love him?" finished Dolores.
"Exactly," said Isabela, recomposing herself. "How can you say no without people thinking that?"
"Because if you really loved him, it wouldn't matter what other people thought," said Dolores. "You can just ask him to wait, you know he'll understand."
"Does Abuela know?"
"Well, yes… I'm sorry she was right there and-."
"If I say no, she'll never let it go," groaned Isabela. "I'll hear more about him than I usually do. I'm sure she's already told the whole family and her and Mrs. Guzman are already so close and Mariano tells her everything so she knows and once they get together it'll be-."
"Then just say not right now," Dolores offered. "If you want to be with him, you don't have to rush it. Unless…?"
"Don't say it," Isabela said in a sour tone that the outside world never heard. "Don't even think that. If Abuela thought that, it would break her heart."
"But it doesn't matter what she thinks if its not true," said Dolores, unable to stop herself from digging this hole. "Is it?"
"What are you talking about? When is he proposing?" Isabela quickly changed the subject, she was never so demanding of Dolores.
"Soon," she said. "His mother offered him the family's ring and he felt in his heart that it was time. He was excited. He said he'd wait until after Antonio's birthday, when things are less hectic, to make it official."
"That's only in a few weeks," breathed Isabela.
"Isabela, it's normal for someone to be nervous about getting married."
"Right, this is normal," repeated Isabela, Dolores knew she didn't believe it but needed to hear it. "If anyone asks, this is normal. No one would suspect anything. There's nothing to suspect. Mariano… makes everyone so happy. We'll be so happy together."
Dolores needed to believe it too. If she was wrong, and this was just how Isabela expressed her real and present emotions, Dolores needed to get to the idea of living without her real and present emotions. Dolores suddenly felt like she was inserting herself somewhere she did not belong, she could not risk being in the way. Mariano wanted to move forward, and Dolores couldn't afford to fall behind and undo so much. "He wrote you a song," she said.
"Of course he did," sighed Isabela, plucking the stray flowers from her hair. "It's okay, I'm okay. It's just… this is why I don't like surprises, they're unexpected and you just caught me off guard, that's all. This is wonderful news. This is perfect. Thank you for telling me... and not in front of the whole family."
"Of course," smiled Dolores, taking Isabela's hand and squeezing it. "And you know, you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"I always do," she lied, Dolores knew she didn't mean to, but she was.
"You'd better get downstairs," said Dolores. "Abuela is talking about wedding cakes with your mom and I think you want to be a part of the conversation."
"Right," said Isabela, smoothing her dress. "I'm sure they have thoughts on the flowers too," she waltzed out and was immediately greeted by a collection of cheers and hugs. The whole house was so overjoyed at the news that none noticed Dolores didn't come down for dinner, and nobody but her knew that she cried her last tears for Mariano in her room all night as their raised a toast to the blessed union.