Chapter 13 Clown Prince of Disappointment

"And so…uh…that is the twist that I like to put on the traditional circus act known as 'juggling.'"

Larry and Roy stared at Ludwig, their eyes wide and their mouths gawking open. Combining these two parts of the face together displayed to Ludwig an expression that could only be identified as dumbfounded. Their disbelief only grew more palpable as they slowly turned their heads to exchange a look with one another.

Ludwig shook his head. "Oh, who am I kidding? That didn't even resemble juggling; even I know that!" He shook his head and buried his face in his hands. A cross between a whimper and a moan escaped from his mouth.

Roy set the bowl of popcorn to the side and came over to his older brother. "Hey, it's okay Lems. I thought that was pretty cool."

Ludwig scoffed and lifted his head. "You thought me dropping every ball on my head multiple times was cool?" He rolled his eyes. "Oh wait, I forgot I was talking to Roy; the koopa who still believes that escalators are a mechanical marvel."

Roy did a double take. "What? It's a staircase…that moves! Up and down! You don't even have to lift your leg to get to the next floor anymore!"

Ludwig internally cringed. "Yes, because lifting ones leg is a feat that only the most daring of souls can accomplish." He flashed his brother a look. "Seriously, it's an escalator Roy, not a teleporter."

Larry shook his head and walked over to the two of them. "Don't worry about it, Lemmy. You probably have the yips right now."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow. "The yips?"

"It's when you overthink things you do all the time. Like, when I'm in a tennis tournament and I forget how to swing."

"Yeah!" said Roy. "Or when I'm talking to a girl and forget what I was going to say."

Ludwig nodded, the concept slowly coming to him. "Oh, I get it. Like that time when I was performing Darklandian Sonata on my piano and couldn't remember which keys to press."

Larry and Roy furrowed their brows. "Uh…you never performed Darklandian Sonata," Larry said.

Realization seized the oldest Koopaling, causing his face to grow warm. "Oh, right. That was Ludwig; right." Ludwig averted his eyes away from his brothers, too embarrassed to even make eye contact. The awkwardness made his palms feel sweatier than they felt when he did screw up on Darklandian Sonata.

Larry raised an eyebrow and exchanged another look with Roy. This one was a look of absolute confusion, of absolute astonishment and bewilderment. Ludwig felt his stomach churn, causing nausea to spread through his being. He was going to be sick like a dog and the show hadn't even started yet.

"I don't…I don't think my nerves are caused by the yips," he said. "It's…" he shook his head. "It's more than that."

Roy leaned down so that he was level with his oldest brother. "What's up bro? Whatever it is, you can tell us."

Ludwig bit the inside of his cheek. "I…really can't."

"Sure you can," said Larry. "Did you have trouble sleeping last night?"

"No."

"Are you having problems with your stomach?" Roy asked.

Ludwig sighed. "Guys…"

"Did Ludwig tell you to take a long walk off a short pier?" asked Larry.

Ludwig groaned. "No! Ludwig didn't do anything; why do you keep blaming him?"

Larry snickered. "Oh please, like Ludwig would never say that to you."

Ludwig felt his face grew warm again, but for a completely different reason. "That's not true!" A replay of the incident that had occurred with Lemmy the morning before they fought the duplighost popped up in his mind, causing Ludwig to draw back. "Well, okay, maybe he isn't the nicest, but he has to share a bedroom with me! You try getting to sleep while your brother is practicing a tightrope act less than ten feet away!" Ludwig shuttered. "I'm still convinced I have a death wish."

Roy gawked a little. "Seriously. Lemmy, are you okay?"

Ludwig let out a breath. He couldn't talk about the swap. No matter how tempting of an idea it was. "I'm fine. I'm just…not myself."

Larry's brow furrowed. He put on a little smile and knelt down on one knee. With his hands planted firmly on Lemmy's shoulders, he made straight eye contact while wearing one of the warmest expressions Ludwig had ever seen. "It's okay, Lemmy. We all have our off days; these things happen. It doesn't mean you're any less of a clowning expert."

"Yeah, totally!" Roy said, wearing a goofy grin as he stood up. "You can do this! You can nail this show the same way I nail putting the remains of a ruined conversation with a girl back together!"

Ludwig snickered. "Roy, I've been your wingman during some of those conversations; you can't exactly put back together a trainwreck."

Roy sighed. "Look, the point is…you can do this, Lemmy. And even if you can't, it doesn't matter! We'll all find a way to laugh about it later!"

"Yeah!" Larry said. "You've put on countless amazing shows. What's one terrible one going to do?"

Ludwig took a deep breath. These words meant nothing to him. They were being directed at Lemmy, not him. He would bet a million gold coins that if Larry and Roy knew who they were actually talking to, they would laugh. They would laugh at the audacity of Ludwig von Koopa wearing a clown suit and preparing to put on an act while stuck in Lemonade Koopa's body.

But then again, maybe that last fact was Ludwig's one saving grace. Lemmy had said to him that it would be him who would be embarrassed, not Ludwig. Lemmy would be the one being laughed at. None of the servants had to know who would really be wearing the suit. Neither did Larry and Roy, for that matter. They could all laugh at Lemmy til the cows come home. They could laugh until they were blue in the face and completely numb to the concepts of humor and mockery.

Ludwig let out the breath. "You're right." He smiled. "I mean, it's just a clown act; how hard can it be?"

Larry beamed. "Atta boy, Lems!"

Roy slapped Ludwig on the back. "That's the Lemmy we all know and love! You've got this in the bag!"

Ludwig smiled, although whether it was genuine or terrified he couldn't say for sure. Right before he could give his brothers a response, the door opened and Tailspin stepped in.

"Hello, Master Lemmy. Are you ready?"

Ludwig looked up at Larry and Roy one last time before putting on a brave expression and nodding. "Yes. Yes I am."

"Great!" Tailspin closed the door. Ludwig smoothed out the wrinkles of the atrocious clown suit he wore and gave the door a determined look.

"I can do this."

"Yeah you can!" Roy said. "Break a leg, Lemmy!"

"But not literally," said Larry. "We don't want a repeat of that time you went to the hospital."

Ludwig seized up. "I ended up in the hospital after a show?"

"Yeah, don't you remember?" said Roy. "You fell off your ball and dropped one of the anvils you were juggling on your knee."

Ludwig's jaw dropped to the floor. "When did that happen? I don't remember that!"

Roy's face fell with realization. "Oh, right, that's because you dropped it on your head, not your knee."

Ludwig nearly fainted. "You're saying I'm risking my life by putting on this show?"

"No no, you'll be fine!" said Larry. "The six months of physical therapy helped you learn from that experience! You know what you're doing now!"

If Ludwig's stomach wasn't churning before, it was definitely doing it now. He could feel the tangy taste of vomit rising in his throat. He had already used the bathroom as Lemmy; he didn't need to lose his brother's lunch too.

"You can do this, Lemmy!" Larry said. "Just go out there and do what you do best!"

Ludwig swallowed the vomit. There was no turning back now. "Al…alright." He inched toward the door and weakly placed his hand on the knob. "Wish…wish me luck."

"Good luck, Lemmy!" Roy said as he and Larry came over. "Knock em dead!"

"Again," Larry said. "Not literally."

…

Ludwig knees felt like they would give out from under him. Standing before him was an audience of at least fifty koopa troopa servants and two Koopalings. It wasn't anywhere close to the largest audience he had ever performed for. He was well known across the Koopa Kingdom as a musical prodigy, so people would flock from the farthest reaches of the realm just to listen to his symphonies. He believed his record was close to one hundred million, but he would have to double check the ticket sales to be sure. The point is, Ludwig was no stranger to giving people a spectacle. However, there was one major difference between those times and right now.

HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS FUCKING DOING!

What do I do? He screamed in his head. I can't do this! Why did I ever agree to this!

Ludwig's breathing was shallow. His hands produced enough sweat to fill a bathtub. It felt like every eye on the room was boring into his soul.

Oh man, is this what stage fright feels like? His breathing became more shallow. I've never gotten stage fright before! No wonder Morton hates public speaking! His heartbeat sped up. I'm going to have a heart attack! I don't even need to drop an anvil on my head; I'm going to get hospitalized due to this massive panic attack! He took a step backward. I should have stayed in my bedroom. I could be in my bed reading classic literature right now! Why didn't I tell Shelldon we were quarantining when I had the chance!

He took another step back, then a series of steps. He clenched his jaw so hard that attempting to unclench it hurt. The expectant, confused expressions of the koopa troopas only accelerated his heart rate.

"I…I…" He turned and tried making his way out of the room. Before he could reach the door, however, one of the koopa troopas stepped in front of him.

"Master Lemmy? What's wrong?"

Ludwig swallowed a lump in his throat. The koopa troopa's eyes shined with concern and disappointment.

I should probably tell him I can't perform. Any reasonable person will let me walk away. "Uhh…I feel a little sick."

"Sick? What kind of sick?"

"I…think I have the flu." He let out an exaggerated fake sneeze. "I have horrible congestion and I'm burning up like mad. I should probably go back up to my…"

Before he could say anymore, the servant shoved a thermometer he had pulled from his hammerspace into the Koopaling's mouth. Before Ludwig could even fully process what was happening, the servant pulled the thermometer out and read the temperature. He chuckled.

"You're not sick!" He showed Ludwig the number. "You're one hundred and twenty degrees; a completely normal temperature for a Koopa!"

Ludwig was flying into a panic now. In one last show of desperation, he grabbed the koopa troopa by the shoulders. "Please! You can't let me do this; I'll die from anxiety and embarrassment!"

"Master Lemmy," the servant coaxed. He placed his hand on top of Ludwig's. "You'll be fine." He patted the Koopaling's hand. "You didn't bring any anvils this time; Bowser banned them. You will be just fine."

Ludwig's heart sank. There was no getting out of this. No amount of panicking will convey the gravity of this situation to anyone. He had no choice but to resign to his fate.

"F…fine." He released his hold on the koopa troopa and made his way back to the front of the room. He took a deep breath before forcing on what he hoped looked like a smile. "He…hey everyone!"

"Hello, Lemmy!" The audience exclaimed. Larry and Roy's voice were the most noticeable among the crowd.

"Do you…" Ludwig wiped his brow. "Do you want to see the Amazing Lemmy put on a show?"

The crowd cheered. Ludwig absolutely loved getting this kind of response from an audience normally, but now it made his desire to disappear stronger.

"G…good." He reached into his hammerspace. He reasoned that since Lemmy did this sort of thing all the time, he would have props packed their by default. He fished around until he felt something solid, something he could wrap his fingers around without worrying about staining his palms. He pulled it out, but immediately regretted doing so when he saw what it was.

"My songs?" He held the papers in front of his face, scanning the lyrics and scribbles with wide, unblinking eyes. Whispers sprung up from the audience, whispers that didn't sound as excited as before.

"What's on those papers?" one servant asked.

"Is it the script for a skit he can perform?" asked another.

Ludwig's hands trembled. For a split second, he wonder if he could sing these songs to the audience. At least that was something he knew for absolute certain he could do. Besides, Lemmy didn't have that bad of a singing voice. Sure, he wasn't a trained professional. But if Lemmy's natural soprano could be combined with Ludwig's perfect pitch…

Ludwig shook his head. No, he couldn't do that. This audience had come here for a clown act, and if the display with the servant and the thermometer was any indication, they weren't going to let him leave until they got it. Besides, the songs weren't performance ready yet.

So, he laid the songs down on the ground and dipped his hand back into Lemmy's hammerspace. Rummaging around in there was like blindfoldedly searching through Pandora's box. The textures he felt as he went deeper were textures that no being should feel with their bare hands, and the less said about the things that moved, the better. Eventually, Ludwig did find something he could pull out. But when he did, he started to second guess his decision about the songs.

It was Lemmy's circus ball.

Ludwig held the yellow ball with orange stars at arms length. This thing had caused him so much trouble in the past. It was this toy that Lemmy had practiced on the most. Lemmy had tried balancing on it and doing handstands on it more times than Ludwig could count. Now, this alone wouldn't be so bad, but the location where Lemmy had decided to practice these things was their bedroom. This ball was indirectly responsible for the total destruction of most of Ludwig's stuff, including a priceless marble statue carved in the likeness of Ludwig von Koopthevoven.

Ludwig set the ball down on the floor. He wasn't going to use this. He wouldn't be caught dead standing on top of this ball.

But then, Ludwig got another look at the crowd. Most of them looked excited while looking at the ball. Some even smiled a little bit. There was a very distinct atmosphere in the room, an atmosphere of anticipation and glee.

Ludwig sighed in defeat. It looked like he would have to step on that ball after all. During his lifetime, no less.

So, Ludwig took a step toward the ball. When he did, a honking sound echoed throughout the room, a sound maliciously intruding on this silent scene. He grit his teeth and growled.

"Stupid shoes." He slipped out of them and threw them across the room. Once they were out of sight, he stepped closer to the ball. Before he could step on it, however, he heard someone sniffing in the audience. He looked forward and saw a koopa troopa getting a whiff of the air. When he directed his nose toward Ludwig's feet, he gagged and covered his face.

Ludwig sighed. "I'm a Dragon Koopa who doesn't typically wear shoes. I apologize if I don't smell like a rose garden." He set his sights on the ball once again. "Okay, okay," he muttered. He placed both hands on the surface, wanting to keep it steady. He lifted one foot, biting his lip as he did so. Once that foot was safely on the ball, he raised the other. Holding his arms out for balance, he lifted himself out of the squatting position. It felt like he was going to tumble into the crowd, but miraculously, he stayed standing up. He lifted his head away from his feet and looked into the crowd.

Someone in the crowd started to clap.

Ludwig blinked. He examined the audience and saw that it was Roy and Larry who were his sole applauders. Soon, their applause spread to the servants. Each koopa troopa clapped, and not just in a polite way either. Joy caused their mouths to turn upward, and some even whooped in delight.

Ludwig smiled. He had only done one thing, and yet these people were acting as if he had just walked on the moon. The hard working composer in Ludwig told him that this was pathetic. However, the part of him that lived for affirmation and approval was having the time of his life. A chuckle escaped from his mouth.

And then the ball slipped out from under him.

Ludwig screamed as he fell off the ball. He landed on his shell, groaning as he tried to lift his head. He realized he must have accidentally shifted his weight. He picked himself back up and gasped. The ball had somehow shot upwards at a forty five degree angle. It slammed into the wall and hit the ground with a sharp thud. It flew all the way up to the ceiling, taking a nose dive when it hit. It headed straight towards the edge of the crowd.

THUMP!

"SHELLDON!" one of the servants screamed. Everyone gathered around. Ludwig ran over and gawked when he saw a koopa troopa lying unconscious on the floor.

"What?" Ludwig asked. "That ball probably weighs less than a pound; how is that even possible?"

"WE NEED TO GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL!" a servant screamed.

Ludwig met Roy and Larry's eyes. The two Koopalings didn't even look shocked. They just look disappointed. Disappointed and concerned.

Ludwig felt bile rise to his throat. He clenched his fists and examined the room. Snarls escaping from his throat, he found the ball and took it out into the hallway. He felt like he would explode as he held the blasted thing in his hands.

"I knew I hated you for a reason!" Growls made his voice sound borderline demonic. "You've given me nothing but trouble ever since Lemmy got you!" He threw the ball in a huff, aiming for the window. Unfortunately, he missed and hit the wall instead, causing the thing to bounce back and hit him in the forehead.

"OWW!" He was seething now. "That's IT!" He held his hand, palm open, above his head. In a fit of screaming rage, he sent it right towards the ball nails first. It exploded with a deafening pop.

Ludwig breathed in and out, standing over the yellow and orange pieces that were the remnants of Lemmy's toy. His heartbeat slowed to a regular pace. A relaxing pace. An enjoyable pace.

"Lemmy!"

Ludwig slowly turned around. Roy and Larry stared at him, their faces bearing the trademarks of horror. He didn't even care.

"Lemmy, you just…"

"I'm aware." Ludwig cleared his throat and smoothed out his outfit. "Now, I don't know about you, but all that performing made me tired. I'm going up to my bedroom."