Chapter 18 Oxymorons in the Morning

The next morning was an early one. Ludwig wanted to keep his eyes closed for as long as possible; soak up the rejuvenating qualities it provided like a sponge. He needed his mind to be at ease. His body and soul were not in sync, so any form of rest would be more than enough. He still dreamed as Ludwig von Koopa, and he wanted to stay in that dreamworld. He didn't want to face the harsh reality that he was now Lemonade Natalie Koopa of all people.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans. Using Lemmy as a vessel, the universe had opened up the curtains and let sunlight cascade into the room.

"Good morning, Ludwig!" Lemmy exclaimed with a smile. Ludwig shielded his big buggy eyes to protect himself from the obnoxious glow.

"Lemmy…" his voice was as murky as a swamp. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "What's so good about it? I'm still trapped in this body."

Lemmy giggled. "Yeah! It's pretty cool huh?"

Ludwig scoffed. "Cool?" He shook his head. "Lemmy, every aspect of this experience is awkward and uncomfortable at best." He pinched his brow. "This is the third day we've been under this spell. The third day in a row that we'll have to face this particular Goliath." He gripped his blue comforter. "I can't spend another day like this; just another second is exhausting. But considering that Iggy moves like a snail on a diet of molasses when it comes to finding the duplighost…" he sighed. "I don't have much of a choice."

A glimmer of empathy twinkled in Lemmy's eye. "Well…." he smiled. "I guess that means we try to make the most of it."

Ludwig pressed his lips together. "I guess."

There was a moment of silence. Ludwig kept his eyes focused on his royal blue comforter. In the corner of his eye, he could see Lemmy's eyes darting back and forth, like he was thinking about something.

"Hey," Lemmy finally said. "What do you think the game plan for today is? Are we going to stay in the room?"

Ludwig hesitated for about half a minute before shaking his head. "No. Being in this body drives me stir crazy enough as it is." He faced his brother. "I say, since everyone already found out yesterday, we go have breakfast in the dining hall with them."

Lemmy's expression exploded in sparkly happiness. "That's a great idea!" He bounced to his feet. "Good job Ludwig; you're very smart!"

Ludwig smiled a tiny bit. "Well, I didn't write 800 symphonies thanks to stupidity." A crack formed in his soul when he mentioned his music. He ignored it and looked back at Lemmy. "Let's go spruce up, then we can make our way there."

Lemmy zipped to the bathroom. Ludwig lugged himself out of bed, still bemoaning the very noticeable height difference. When he joined Lemmy in the bathroom, he sighed. He was just about level with the sink.

"Okay." He grabbed his facial scrub and pumped some into his left palm. "I suppose the face is as good a place as any to start." He turned on the water and lathered some of the scrub onto his brother's visage. He immediately regretted doing so. "OWWWW!"

Lemmy gawked. "Ludwig, what's wrong?"

"Soap!"

"Soap? You mean in your eye?"

"Yes, Lems, THERE'S SOAP IN MY EYE!" He moaned. "Darn it Lemmy; why do your eyes have to take up half your face?" He searched around until he found his towel hanging over the handle bar. He grabbed it and violently rubbed. After about a minute of that and another minute of blinking to flush out the facial scrub, he stopped. "Okay. I think I'm good for now." He placed the towel back and turned to Lemmy. "Does it look bad?"

Lemmy winced. "Your eyes are pretty red."

Ludwig exhaled and looked around. "Well, your vision is still good, so I think it's safe to say I didn't scratch your cornea." He shook his head as he went back to the sink and grunted as he turned off the water. "I'll hold off on washing your face for later; trying to work around your eyes will probably be an all day project."

Lemmy nodded. He turned back to his sink before noticing the toothbrushes in their holders. "Hey, Ludwig? Which toothbrush do you think I should use; yours or mine?"

"Mine!" Ludwig didn't even hesitate with that answer. "You're not putting your toothbrush in my mouth. That thing's interacted with your saliva!"

Lemmy made an interesting face, one that somehow managed to fall between confused, questioning, and humorous. "So? You're interacting with my saliva right now!"

Every last aspect of Ludwig's being shook when he heard that. He closed his eyes, cringing the mother of all cringes and gripping onto the sink tightly. "Okay, Lemmy, this whole endeavor is bad enough as it is, but if I'm forced to think about the fact that I'm in possession of your bodily fluids, I'm going to be violently ill." He swallowed a lump. "Please, just use mine."

Lemmy nodded and picked up Ludwig's royal blue toothbrush. After putting the toothpaste on, he raised it to his mouth. Right before he started brushing, however, he hesitated. He tried again, but something was holding him back. He looked down at the toothbrush with an expression that was….let's say, concerned.

"I don't feel comfortable with this."

Ludwig sharply exhaled. "Oh come on Lems; it's just a toothbrush!"

Lemmy looked over at the eldest. "Okay. Then why don't you try using mine?"

"Fine!" Ludwig got Lemmy's yellow toothbrush, put some toothpaste on it, and raised it to his lips. Right before he put it in, he hesitated. Something about this felt…wrong. He swallowed his pride and tried again, but it didn't work. Even though he had no reason to be disgusted by this, he was disgusted by this.

"I can't do this." He rinsed the toothbrush and put it back in its holder.

"I had a feeling you'd say that." Lemmy didn't sound judgemental though; just sad. He put Ludwig's back in the holder.

Ludwig drummed his fingers against the side of the sink, his face in a contemplative scowl. "I'll go buy new toothbrushes later on." He closed his eyes and began monologuing. "Okay, can't do the face or the teeth; what can I do?" He looked up at the mirror hanging on the wall. "I just noticed I'm too short to reach the mirror. Lemmy, do you have anything I can use to help?"

Lemmy's face fell. "Well, I usually use my ball to help me reach the mirror."

"I see." Ludwig tapped his foot. "Well, do you have any stepstools?"

Lemmy shook his head. "Nope."

Ludwig's jaw dropped a little. "What? How can you not have any…?" He groaned. "Never mind; there's a chair near my bed. Can you bring it in?"

Lemmy nodded. He exited the bathroom and returned with the chair no less than five seconds later. Ludwig thanked him and stepped onto the chair. This thankfully allowed him to see the mirror. Once he did, he shook his head.

"Actually, on second thought; I don't want to look at your face right now." He sighed as he dismounted the chair. "I'm going to put the chair back."

With that, he exited the room. While he was gone, Lemmy grabbed a bar of white hand soap and leaned over the sink. He was positioned in a way so that Ludwig's silky blue hair was touching the drain. Right when he turned the water on was when Ludwig came back in.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.

Lemmy smiled and positioned himself upright. "I'm washing your hair?"

"Washing…in what universe is it considered acceptable to wash your hair in the sink!" He studied the scene, which only made his eyes grow wider. "ARE YOU USING BAR SOAP?"

Lemmy blinked. "Am I not supposed to?"

"NO! That stuff's like cement; when it dries it'll turn my locks into clumps!" He shook his head. "No, you are not washing my hair in the sink; you're doing it in the shower." He walked over to the shower and pulled the curtain back. He stepped into the tub, with Lemmy observing him from right beside the wall of the tub. "And you aren't going to use bar soap, you're going ti use this." He picked up two purple colored bottles and handed them to his brother. "These are the shampoo and conditioner I usually use."

Lemmy blinked before beaming. "Oh! I've heard of this brand; they sell it in the woman's section at Shell Mart!"

Ludwig glared at Lemmy. "It's made for men."

Lemmy giggled. "It's floral scented."

"GUYS LIKE FLOWERS TOO!" He shook his head and stepped out of the tub. "Okay, I'm going to leave you to it." He made his way toward the door. "When using the shampoo, make sure you massage the scalp with the pads of your fingers. And keep the conditioner as far away from the scalp as possible; the last thing I want is for my hair to get oily." He opened the door, just about ready to step back into the room when he gawked again. "Lemmy, take my cloak off; you can't get the fabric wet!"

"Oh!" Lemmy smiled sheepishly as he removed the cloak. "Sorry; I don't usually wear clothes, so I'm not used to taking them off." He tossed it to Ludwig, who caught it perfectly.

"Okay," Ludwig said. "Take your time; this is my pride and glory we're talking about." He was just about to leave when one last thought occurred to him. "Oh! And don't you DARE sneak a peak at anything; you're not going on a sight seeing tour, you're just passing through. Do you understand?"

Lemmy nodded. "Yes. I understand. Don't worry Lutz."

Ludwig tossed that name around in his head. "Lutz?" After a minute or two, he shrugged. "Well, I guess it's better than Luddy."

With that, he went out.